Authors: Rebellious Desire
“Of course,” Caroline answered. Her legs felt weak and her heart was fluttering a mad tune but she would admit to neither of those reactions. She refused to look up at him and only then noticed that many of the women watching from the sidelines were frowning with obvious displeasure. “Bradford? Why are those women frowning at us?” she asked, daring a quick look up.
Bradford glanced around the room and then turned back to Caroline.
“Are you doing something that isn’t correct?” she demanded against his shoulder, her voice sounding suspicious.
Bradford laughed. “Unfortunately, we are being very correct,” he informed her. “Some of the older ladies do not care for this new dance. The waltz hasn’t gained approval of the traditionals.”
Caroline nodded. “I see.” She glanced up again, met his gaze, and smiled. “And are you a radical or a traditionalist?”
“What do you think?” Bradford inquired.
“Oh, a radical I would imagine,” Caroline immediately answered. “I’ll bet you are a troublemaker in the House of Lords. I’m right, aren’t I?”
Bradford shrugged. “I have been known to be obstinate on occasion, but only when the issue I am backing is in jeopardy.”
“Yet you are respected,” Caroline announced. “Is it because of the title you inherited or because you have made a name for yourself?”
Bradford laughed. “Are you asking me if I have accomplished anything of value?” He paused and then asked, “And how do you know that I am respected?”
“Because of the way people look at you,” Caroline answered. “My father is a traditionalist. If he was still active in your politics, he would probably be your enemy on every issue. Bradford, could we please stop this circling? I’m getting quite dizzy.”
Bradford immediately stopped dancing, took hold of Caroline’s elbow, and led her toward the doorway to the balcony.
“Your father was more of a radical in his day than I will ever be,” Bradford remarked.
Caroline showed her astonishment. “It’s true,” Bradford continued. “He was known as the champion for the Irish cause.”
“What Irish cause?” Caroline asked.
“Self-rule,” Bradford explained. “Your father didn’t believe that the Irish were ready to rule themselves, but he fought to gain them a voice in government and to improve conditions.”
Caroline was amazed by Bradford’s remarks. She tried to picture her father as a younger man, fighting for what he believed to be just. “He is such a gentle, soft-spoken man today,” Caroline commented. “It’s difficult to believe what you are telling me. I do believe you,” she rushed on, hoping she hadn’t offended him by suggesting that she doubted his word.
Bradford couldn’t quit grinning. He noticed how she had hurried to offset her remark about not believing him. Was she always so conscious of other people’s feelings?
Caroline didn’t notice Bradford watching her. She was thinking about her father, wondering what had caused him to give up his causes. Why had he withdrawn from everything … from life?
Bradford saw that several would-be suitors were making their way, quite determinedly, to their corner. The music started up and Bradford pulled Caroline into his arms again. He wasn’t ready to give her up just yet. He remembered his comment to Milford about wanting to see Caroline one more time, so that he could get her out of his blood, and now found the remark absurd.
Caroline didn’t argue when Bradford took her in his arms again. She didn’t care about the frowns either. She felt bewitched in his arms, trembled when she felt his fingers caressing her back. Caroline had never reacted to a man the way she was reacting to Bradford. She was confused by this intense physical attraction. She knew she must be proper, yet realized she would be most content to stay in his arms the rest of the evening. When she began to wonder what it would feel like to be kissed by him, she knew it was time to remove herself from the temptation.
“I do not like—”
She wasn’t allowed to finish her sentence. She was about to tell him that she didn’t care for the waltz, but he interrupted with an arrogant remark. “You don’t like what’s happening to you?”
Caroline’s eyes widened and she almost nodded. She caught herself in time and frowned. “Whatever do you mean?”
“Don’t deny it, Caroline. It’s happening to me, too.”
“Nothing is happening,” Caroline answered in a tight voice. “Except that you are making me dizzy again with the constant circles. It’s rather warm in here too. Don’t
you think we’ve danced enough?” she asked in a hopeful voice.
“Yes, it has gone warm,” Bradford returned. They had just completed another turn around the room and were again in front of the doors. Caroline smiled, thinking she was about to get away from Bradford, but when they stopped dancing, he didn’t release her. Instead, he took her arm and guided her along. Before she could argue over it, he had dragged her through the open doorway and into the night.
“L
ET GO OF MY ARM
. W
E CAN’T BE OUT HERE ALONE
,” Caroline argued in a fierce whisper.
Her irritation didn’t seem to make a dent in Bradford’s armor of determination. The obstinate man kept right on going, dragging Caroline along, and several couples taking in the night air turned to watch them with curious gazes.
As soon as Caroline realized that others were watching, she removed the scowl and tried to looked composed. It was a difficult task, and she wanted nothing more than to knock the Duke of Bradford to the ground and give him a few good kicks. Unladylike though the thoughts were, they did give Caroline a great deal of pleasure. And she had little doubt that she could manage the deed, or at least knock some of the egotistic wind out of him, because her cousins had taught her all the ways to cause a man real distress.
Her short bluster of confidence evapaorated when she realized that she couldn’t even get her hand away from him. Had she left her confidence in Boston? she wondered as she followed meekly along.
The balcony circled three sides of the house, and Bradford continued until they were truly alone at the isolated end of the railing.
There were several candles along the railing’s ledge, placed in tall glasses so that the wind wouldn’t blow out their light, giving the balmy night a romantic blush.
Bradford stopped when the balcony ended, and turned to face Caroline. The candle nearest them cast a warm glow to his complexion, softening the hard ridges.
“Now I believe I will have your undivided attention,” Bradford began without preamble. “I’m in no mood to share you with half of London.”
“Well, now that you have my attention, what will you do with me?”
Bradford smiled at the challenge in her voice. He read fear and confusion in her eyes but her soft voice denied it was true. Her false bravery pleased him. She wasn’t the type to cower or swoon. She was, he decided, a worthy opponent.
He almost answered that he would have her, for as long as he wished to keep her, no matter what obstacles she placed in his way. Caroline must have read the intent in his gaze because she began to back away, ever so slowly.
Bradford was swift to end her retreat. He took hold of her shoulders, felt the silken softness beneath his fingertips, and almost forgot what he was about, until she tried to jerk away. “Oh, no you don’t,” he whispered. He pulled her toward him and turned her, and she felt like a puppet and he the manipulator, as she was locked between the wall and the railing. She was good and trapped and Bradford smiled over it.
“Will you please let me pass?” Caroline asked.
“Not until we’ve had a little talk,” Bradford replied.
He acted as if he had all the time in the world. Caroline let her exasperation show. “You’re a stubborn man! You completely ignore the fact that I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Yes, you do,” Bradford informed her. “There is something going on between us. I feel it and I know you do too. I believe that we should acknowledge it, and the sooner the better. I’ve no time for games of courting, Caroline. When I want something, I take it.”
Caroline hadn’t lied. She really didn’t want to be alone with him. Bradford made her nervous. She didn’t feel in control when she was with him. She had just been very blunt with him, but was appalled when he returned with the same bluntness.
“And you have decided that you want me?” Caroline’s voice deserted her, and Bradford had to lean down to hear her question. He didn’t answer, but continued to look at her, his gaze telling her all she needed to know.
She had thought that she would brazen it out, put him in his place with a severe setdown, but suddenly found herself quite speechless.
“Does my honesty frighten you?” Bradford finally broke the silence and his voice was filled with tenderness. “It bothers me,” he admitted with a wry grin, “and that isn’t something easy to acknowledge.”
His stare was hot enough to turn water into steam. It certainly warmed her, and she found that she didn’t know how to react. “You make me nervous when you look at me like that,” Caroline admitted. She sighed and shook her head. “I might as well warn you. If I get nervous enough, I’m going to start laughing and then you’ll be insulted.”
“Caroline,” Bradford interjected, “just admit that there is something between us.”
“We don’t know each other,” Caroline protested.
“I know you better than you think,” Bradford replied. Caroline’s eyes showed her disbelief and he confirmed his statement with a nod. “You are loyal, trustworthy, and filled with an abundance of love for the people you care about.” He knew by the way she blushed that he was embarrassing her but didn’t care in the least. He was intent on making her admit her feelings. Nothing else seemed to matter.
“How can you know these things?” Caroline asked.
“The day I first met you. You were frightened then,
but you stood up to me. Your only concern was to protect a virtual stranger from further harm. Bravery is a trait I admire,” he added. He wasn’t smiling anymore as he continued in a serious tone. “When we talked, you told of your worry that you might disgrace your relatives by doing something awkward. You also spoke of your family in the Colonies, and your loyalty to them was very obvious. Lastly,” Bradford concluded, “you called your aunt Mama, and your eyes showed the deep affection you felt for her.”
“A dog is loyal and trustworthy and affectionate.”
Caroline’s jest forced a reluctant grin from the man looming above her. “Tonight you trembled in my arms when we danced. Are you going to tell me that you were cold?” He was teasing her now, and Caroline responded with a smile of her own. “Can you be honest with me?”
“Honesty is a trait I most admire in others,” Caroline returned, “because it is completely lacking in my own character.” She sighed with exasperation and then continued, “I am a thief with words and promises, and can’t help myself. Therefore,” she added, “if I agree that there is a special feeling between us, then you will have no way of knowing if I am telling the truth or not, will you?”
Bradford grinned and shook his head. “Then we shall have to do something to give us proof,” he suggested. Amusement lingered in his eyes, and Caroline knew he hadn’t believed a word she had said. She was lying and he knew it.
“And just how do I prove that I do or don’t feel anything for you?” Caroline asked. She was frowning with concentration, but a sudden sparkle appeared in her eyes and Bradford immediately knew she was up to something. It was the identical look he had noticed right before she had led Brummell into her trap. He found himself anticipating her next move. “Perhaps there is a way after all! Why don’t you jump off the
balcony? If I don’t scream out to stop you, then you will know that I don’t care.”
“And if you do issue a warning?” Bradford asked with a rich chuckle.
“Well, then you will know that I did in fact feel something for you. Of course, you will have broken every bone in your body, but we will have our answer, won’t we?”
She smiled prettily, and Bradford considered that she might be finding pleasure in the picture she had just painted.
“There is an alternative,” Bradford suggested. “And one that wouldn’t destroy my body, since that is a real concern to you.”
“I am not concerned about your body,” Caroline rushed out. “And this conversation is becoming quite improper. What if someone should hear us?”
“Are you always so concerned about what other people think?”
“I never gave it a thought until I arrived in England,” Caroline admitted. “And it is a strain. Being correct can be exhausting.”
Bradford smiled over her honesty. “Caroline, I would like to kiss you and be done with it.”
She didn’t move. She felt as mesmerized as a small animal about to be caught in a very large net. Bradford placed both palms on the wall behind her and slowly leaned forward. “You are so romantic,” Caroline whispered. “Be done with it? Is it such a chore then?”
Why did she continue to bait him? she asked herself a little frantically. It could only make things worse than they already were.
“You insist that there is nothing happening between us, avoid looking into my eyes whenever possible, and yet tremble in my arms. Your body contradicts your words of protest.”
Caroline surprised Bradford by nodding. “I know it,” she whispered.
Her admission pleased him, almost as much as her rosy lips beckoned him. He couldn’t wait any longer but vowed to go slowly. His mouth gently brushed hers. Caroline tried to turn her head but Bradford caught her lower lip and held her captive. He kissed her again, applying more pressure, and although he had planned only to give her one chaste kiss, he found that he wanted more from her. His mouth opened over hers, and when she tried to resist the invasion of his tongue into the sweet warmth inside, Bradford used one hand to force her chin down. His tongue took what his body craved, stroking and exploring and penetrating the sweetness she offered.
Caroline was shocked by the initial touch of his tongue. She didn’t know that men kissed women in such a way! She recoiled in embarrassment, yet heard herself gasp with pure pleasure. She couldn’t stop the kiss or her tongue, when it touched his, timidly at first, and then with increasing ardor. She heard his deep growl of encouragement and put her arms around his neck to bring him closer.