Authors: David Pandolfe
“I am,” I said. “Tell them this.”
Then, one by one, words slowly started to appear. When
Curtis finished, he set the pen down, leaving my family staring at what I’d
asked him to write.
I love you all very much. Please take good care of
each other. I think it’s probably time to go now. Think of me and I’ll be there
with you. Love, Henry.
Ready to Jump
One thing I can definitely say about being between lives is
that people give you some space when you ask them to. I don’t know how long I
sat out by my pond thinking about my life and afterlife, but during that time
no one bothered me. Even though we had a meeting scheduled for whenever I felt
ready, they let me be.
Leaving my family for what essentially amounted to the
last time had been really hard. I mean, sure, I’d look in on them occasionally
if I was still allowed to go home. But would that help or hurt? I didn’t know.
Either way, eventually we’d have to move on. Even if it took decades, that day
was going to come. It’s funny how we try not to think about it much when we’re
alive, even though we know the same thing is going to happen. But at least from
what Martha had told me, it sounded like we’d all end up together again
someday. That part made me feel better.
I also found myself thinking about why we ended up with
whoever we did, in future lives or between them. It made sense that you’d try
to find people you’d loved in the past. At the same time, you’d meet new people
along the way. But why had I ended up with my new friends just in time to
rescue Bethany? Like Nikki said, it was like the planets aligning.
Had it all been part of some big plan or totally random?
But then, what if I’d listened to that guy who’d called out to me at the river?
If I’d done that, I wouldn’t have drowned. If things had gone that way, I guess
you could imagine that he’d been placed there for some reason just at the right
time. Or not. Maybe our being there for Bethany had just been a matter of luck
and timing, something that just happened to work out, but wasn’t necessarily meant
to. Or maybe it was something more than that. I guessed I’d never really be
sure.
Another thought that kind of freaked me out was that if I
hadn’t died, how could I have saved Bethany? Did I have to die for that to
happen? Then again, if I hadn’t died she probably wouldn’t have gone out to
meet Will that Friday night. We would have all been home eating pizza and
watching a movie. Maybe Will never would have pulled his plan off otherwise.
So, in a way my dying resulted in Bethany being both abducted and rescued. Was
all of this chance or was everything connected in some way I couldn’t see?
I know what you’ve probably been thinking—that after you
died everything you ever wondered about would suddenly make sense. That you’d
have all the answers. Sorry to tell you, it just doesn’t work that way. In the
afterlife, just like in life, you keep learning as you go, one step at a time.
When you’re ready to learn more, you do. My guess is that there will always be
mysteries remaining. Which is kind of cool, when you think about it.
At one point, as I continued to think about things, I
closed my eyes. I’m not sure for how long. A minute? A day? Hard to say. But
when I opened them again my pond had been replaced by a calm ocean stretching
toward the horizon. The sun was rising into the blue sky and graceful white
gulls drifted upon a current of air. I got to my feet and started walking,
knowing that the sandy path would eventually transform into a street leading
toward a house full of very strange and wonderful new friends.
~~~
Martha opened the door when I knocked. As usual, she
appeared relaxed and peaceful. She smiled one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever
seen.
“How are you?” she said.
That moment of opening my eyes to see an unexpected ocean
remained with me. “I think I’m okay now.”
“Yes, I can see that you are. You’ve been through a lot,
I know. Please, come in.”
I followed Martha into her living room, where Curtis sat
waiting for the meeting to begin. It seemed strange that he’d shown up first.
Despite everything that had happened recently, I just figured it wasn’t his
style.
“Where are the others?” I asked.
Martha motioned for me to sit. “This meeting is just
between the three of us. Curtis and I thought you might be wondering about a
few things.”
“Where do we start?” I asked, sinking into Martha’s sofa.
One of the things I’d learned about the afterlife was that any answers always
led to more questions. Kind of like life, really.
“How about we start with an explanation?” Curtis said.
“Sounds good. What explanation?”
“Well, to start, you were probably wondering why I showed
up at your house and had you Banished. I bet that seemed totally unfair at the
time. True?”
For a while, there hadn’t been time to think about it,
but since we’d rescued Bethany I’d wondered about that a few times. “True,
definitely. Not to mention surprising. Sorry, but I had you pegged for the kind
of person who would’ve enjoyed watching me drive my family insane.”
Curtis looked a little embarrassed. “Yeah, you would have
been right. Before.”
“But something changed,” I said.
“Exactly. Something changed for me.”
“
Finally
,” Martha added and Curtis chuckled. “I
hope you don’t mind,” she continued, “but I used your situation as a way for
Curtis to do something about his own. It occurred to me that he needed to see
where you were heading if things didn’t change.”
A cold feeling came over me as I remembered how far gone
I’d been during that time. That morning of ghosting out came rushing back to
me. I felt weak just thinking about it. Suddenly, I knew where I might have
gone next if Curtis hadn’t intervened.
“I can tell by your expression that you understand,”
Martha said. “Two things might have happened. You might have continued on
indefinitely in your weakened condition. In other words, you’d have become what
they call a ghost. Or…” Martha let her words trail off to see if I got it.
“Or I might have made another choice,” I said. “Like
getting really angry.”
“Yes, you might have chosen anger. You see, both are
equally obsessive states. Either one keeps us from moving forward. Had you
chosen anger—and remained in that state—you would have regained your strength
but you would have been no better off. In fact, you might have been much worse
off, ultimately.”
“As in, on the way to hell?”
Martha’s eyes met mine. “It’s not what you think, but
every one of us has the potential to create a hell of our own. In a sense, it’s
no less painful than the stories you’ve heard. We can torture ourselves forever
if we choose to.”
“I couldn’t see it but that’s where I was heading,”
Curtis said. “Martha made me finally realize. She also showed me the fastest
way to recover. It sounds kind of corny, so I’ll let her tell it.”
Martha laughed. “Okay, let me be the corny one. The
fastest way of getting back on track is by putting someone else’s needs ahead
of your own. It’s a bit of a cliché, I know, but it also happens to be true.
So, I decided that by helping you, Curtis might very well save himself. With
that in mind, I agreed to follow Curtis’s recommendations as long as he promised
to follow through with doing everything possible to help you.”
Curtis hunched forward in his seat. “It was hard at
first. Seriously, it’s way easier to just care about yourself. But then I
realized what was going on. You were tearing yourself apart, not to mention
driving your family insane. I didn’t really see a choice but to Banish you from
your home, even though it would feel like someone was tearing your heart out.”
Curtis was right—at the time, being Banished really had
felt like someone tearing my heart out. Which brought to mind one of the other
things I’d just been wondering about. “Am I still Banished?” I asked Martha.
Martha thought for a moment. “I see no reason for it. Not
any longer.”
“Once we got you out of there, all we could do was wait
and see,” Curtis said. “But Martha’s hunch was right. She thought if I took you
to that town, you might realize you had other options than trying to get
through to your family. That you might come up with a new plan. As it turns
out, you made all the right choices. Which made me feel like a total fool,
considering I’ve been pissed off since 1972.”
I checked to be sure, but Curtis was smiling.
Martha smiled too. “So, would you agree that Curtis made
the best possible choice for you at the time?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely. It seems weird saying
this, but thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Curtis said. “Just don’t make me do it
again.”
Martha and I both laughed.
“There’s something you asked me before,” Martha said. “At
the time, I couldn’t give you a direct answer. I can now, if you’re still
curious.”
I knew right off what she was talking about. “Why we’re
grouped together?”
“Exactly,” Martha said, “although I suspect by now you’ve
figured it out. Because of your special abilities, of course. It’s been determined
that groups such as yours are better off kept separate, at least for a while.
And that you can benefit from special guidance at times. Otherwise, well, there
can be trouble.”
I thought back to when Jamie, Nikki and I talked about
our potential as a special group. Whether we were more likely to do good or
bad. “What kind of trouble?”
For some reason, Martha blushed. “Let me offer an
example,” she said. “Imagine a lonely young lady, just thirteen years old, who
after Transitioning realizes she’s, shall we say, gifted. Not just with one
ability, but several. She can Manipulate, Speak and sometimes even Emerge. This
was quite some time ago, as well, when people were more inclined to believe in
spirits. Now, imagine that this girl doesn’t realize anyone else has these
kinds of abilities. She thinks she’s the only one. All of it goes to her head.
Just think of the attention she can get!”
“No kidding,” I said. “Serious Poltergeist opportunity.”
“Indeed. So, off she goes around the Earth creating
disturbances. She inhabits castles, churches, hospitals, schools, you name it.
No matter how many times she’s Banished from one location, she just finds
another. It takes nearly a century for her to come to her senses and realize
she’s accomplishing nothing. Now, can’t you just imagine how much better off
she might have been if she’d been grouped with others like herself? That way,
she’d have been much more likely to see the foolishness of her own behavior.
And, of course, the guidance of someone with similar attributes could have
helped as well.”
The blush had kind of tipped me off, but first I needed
to be sure about something. Another question that had occurred to me before.
“Can we age here?”
“If we choose to,” Martha said. “For example, if you
think it would help to appear more mature.”
“Like if you were in Service,” I said.
“Yes, that would be a good reason. Especially, if you
were looking after a younger set.”
I sat there stunned, staring at Martha. “Are you saying
what I think you’re saying? You were a Poltergeist?”
Martha smiled and I felt sure I caught a mischievous
gleam in her eye. “One of the very best of all time. People still visit the
places I used to inhabit, hoping to hear or see me.”
“Wow,” was all I could manage. Seriously, Martha was a
bad-ass Poltergeist?
Martha shrugged. “Everyone has a past. But who better to
guide a group that might make the mistake of behaving in a similar manner?”
I looked over at Curtis to see him grinning. “Did you
know?”
Curtis shrugged. “Only recently. Pretty cool, huh?”
Martha laughed before I could answer. “Not cool at all!
That’s the entire point. If you have an ability, you should use it to help
people. As you did for your sister and Curtis did for you. Right, you two?”
Curtis and I both nodded, but neither one of us could wipe
the smiles off our faces.
Martha turned to me. “Now, we were wondering if you might
be able to do something for Curtis. All things considered, you probably won’t
have the opportunity again.”
~~~
It seemed fitting that Curtis and I went to Seattle together,
where we sat in a fir tree towering so tall that it seemed to stand guard over
an entire neighborhood. The sky above was thickly overcast, the air misty, as
we looked down at apartment buildings and passing cars. Soon, it would rain—not
hard, but the rain would come a bit at a time, you could tell. Drizzle weather.
“Remind you of anything?” Curtis said.
Of course, it did. Although we were in the city, this was
essentially the same atmosphere I’d arrived with on my first day between lives.
“I was hoping to visit the Northwest.” I said. “Just
before I died.”
Curtis grinned. “And here you are. Life’s pretty amazing
sometimes, isn’t it?”
“It really is,” I said. It seemed a weird conversation
for two dead kids to be having.
I laughed, then Curtis did too. We sat in silence for a
while after that, the two of us perched in that gigantic tree. He seemed lost
in thought.
After a while, Curtis said, “You know what happened to
me, right?”
I thought about whether I might be betraying Jamie’s
confidence by answering, but Curtis’s tone told me he wasn’t worried about it.
“Yeah, I know what happened.”
“I figured. Who’s not going to talk about some guy
skydiving without a parachute?” Curtis looked over at me. “Listen, that was a
huge mistake. The worst thing anyone can ever do is to commit suicide. All it
does is cause pain all around. But, ironically, I guess you know that.”
“As it turns out.” A wave of relief washed over me as I
reminded myself that my family finally knew my death had been an accident. “So,
I guess it’s about time I told you why we’re here sitting in this tree
together.”
“Have to admit, I am curious.”
“You’re my Witness,” Curtis said. “And, yes, I know you
have no idea what that means,” he added, grinning at the confused look on my
face. “A Witness is the person, who, well, sees you out.”