Jumper Cable (21 page)

It worked, to an extent. “That’s right,” Clark said. “We have to make allowances for inferior species.”

“Inferior species!” Eve repeated, outraged. “Look who’s talking, horse rear!”

“Clark, they don’t see themselves that way,” Sharon said. “You should apologize, as a matter of expediency. We try to get along with humans.”

“You’re right,” he said reluctantly. “I’ll apologize.”

“And you need to accept it,” Jumper said. “For expediency.”

“Oh, all right,” Eve said ungraciously.

Clark stepped toward her. “I apologize, gourd fashion.” He put his hands on her hips, lifted her into the air, and kissed her soundly on the mouth.

Eve, caught by surprise, started to protest. Then the kiss sank in, and she stopped resisting. Then she started kissing back. She wrapped her arms about his upper body and drew herself closer. Jumper and Sharon stared as a little heart formed over their heads.

“Oh, no,” Sharon murmured.

“Why is he kissing her?” Jumper asked.

“It’s a gourd-style apology. Traditionally it gets more intimate until the apology is accepted.”

They were still kissing. “That looks like more than an apology to me,” Jumper said.

“They’re taken with each other. Oh, the scandal!”

“Scandal?”

“Centaurs don’t have miscegenational relationships.”

“Do humans?”

“Sometimes. There are a number of variants, like ogres, elves, goblins, and gnomes that interact on occasion. But centaurs have a higher standard.”

“What about spiders and shape shifters?”

Now she smiled. “Sometimes.”

The long kiss finally broke, and Clark set Eve down. “Accepted,”

she breathed.

Clark seemed a bit unsteady on his four feet, but he spoke firmly enough. “However, you know you have complicated my situation.”

“I didn’t mean to. I was just returning your lost honor.”

“That’s the complication. I have schemed ruthlessly to eliminate competition and rise to the centaur throne. The sudden return of my honor will make it difficult for me to retain it.”

“I thought governing was an honorable thing.”

“Ideally it is. But politics is seldom ideal.”

“And I didn’t know centaurs had kings.”

“They didn’t, until I arranged it to consolidate my power.”

“Well, maybe you should give it up.”

He shook his head. “It is hardly feasible. The vacuum would be filled by anarchy, unless the least scrupulous centaur seized power and slaughtered his competition. The resulting chaos would be my fault. I can’t in honor allow that to happen.”

“You’ve got a problem,” she agreed.

“A problem you brought.”

Eve started to huff up again, but this time Jumper intercepted her.

“You can be very persuasive, when you try,” he murmured. “Why don’t you consider it a challenge? To develop the talent of centaur persuasion.”

“I don’t have that talent!”

“But maybe you could adapt your considerable abilities as princess, Sorceress, and lovely woman, and persuade him to accept his honor and do the right thing.”

She considered. “You’re no slouch at persuasion yourself, you know. I’ll try it, just as a challenge.”

“Thank you.” Jumper retreated.

Meanwhile Clark had been pondering, and came up with an idea.

“You’re a princess. Maybe you can help. Have you had experience governing?”

“No. But I am a Sorceress. If you need to know about inanimate things, then I can help.”

“It’s the animate centaurs I need to know about.”

“Then maybe the one you want is my sister Dawn.”

“The one I want is you.”

“How do you mean that?” she demanded, bridling.

“Eve,” Jumper murmured. “Persuasion.”

She re oriented, and took a more positive tack. “But we have no future, Clark. We’re not physically compatible.”

“An accommodation spell would fix that.”

“Accommodation to what?”

“Eve,” Jumper repeated.

She nodded, mentally removing her bridle. “So it would.” She sighed. “We should not have kissed. It started something we shouldn’t finish.”

“I apologize.”

“That’s not sufficient.”

“I know. But what else can I do?”

“You can apologize the gourd way. Pick me up.”

“But—”

“Are you slow on the uptake?”

He paused, then picked her and kissed her again. Several more hearts appeared.

The persuasion was starting.

“They’re right,” Sharon murmured. “They should not have kissed the first time. Now they’re stuck in a descending spiral.”

“Descending?”

“The gourd-style apology leads to more of what they are apologizing for. Obviously they both want it.”

“Why don’t they just stop?”

“I’ll show you.” She put her hands on his elbows, heaved him up, and kissed him.

Jumper felt half a slew of hearts radiating out. Her new form didn’t matter; her kiss was as potent as ever.

After a deliciously long moment she drew her face back a little. “I shouldn’t have done that, so I’ll apologize.” She drew him in and kissed him again. More hearts appeared.

After another timeless instant she drew back again. “And I shouldn’t have done that either,” she said. “So I must apologize again.” This time her kiss caused the hearts to tumble over each other, forming an expanding cloud. Jumper was beginning to understand. But he was more interested in kissing her. Which was, of course, the descending spiral.

“You mentioned an accommodation spell,” he gasped at the next break. “I’m not sure exactly how that works.”

“We don’t need it. Get on my back.” She set him down, and he walked around her to climb onto her back. Then she carried him to another stall.

“Why don’t we need it?” he asked. “Isn’t it magic to enable two dissimilar creatures to— to get together?”

“You’ll see.”

When they were private, she changed to human form and embraced him. Oh. He had forgotten about her shape-changing. It occurred to him that it might be fortunate that dream romances did not alert the storks. What kind of baby would a Demon/human/spider crossbreed be? In due course, exhausted for the moment, they agreed to give it a rest. She returned to centaur form and carried him back to the king’s stall.

Eve and Clark seemed to have settled their relationship, one way or another, and were now concentrating on the piled papers. Eve picked up one and commented on it. “This is made by a totally honest scribe,” she said. “I suspect from what it has seen and overheard while in his company that he does not approve of you, but he’s not a politician and prefers to keep his mouth shut.”

“Then he should be ideal to research and make quality appointments,” Clark said. “His opinion of me may improve when he learns that I have recovered my honor.”

“Yes.” Then she looked up and saw Jumper and Sharon. “We’re searching out the best possible appointments, so that he can be the best possible king. He may have achieved the office by illicit means, but now he will fulfill it with honor, so that the centaurs will prosper better than before. I may serve as liaison to the human court. Humans and centaurs can do each other much good, if they care to try.”

“Makes sense to me,” Jumper said, gratified that things were working out. “How about you, Sharon?”

“I support my brother in what ever he does. An honestly run kingdom makes sense.”

“How does this forward your agenda?”

“If she marries him, she’ll desert your mission.”

“I’m not going to do either, of course,” Eve said. “The mission is first. Then, if Clark is still interested, we’ll consider a royal liaison complete with accommodation spell.”

“But if his talent is to make people do his will, he may make you quit the mission.”

“Newfound honor prevents me,” Clark said. “Besides, that might annoy her, and I don’t want her annoyed at me.”

“You bet you don’t, horse tail,” Eve agreed. But now the name was an endearment rather than an insult. She picked up another paper. “This one was handled by an utter scoundrel. You can’t trust him farther than you can see him.”

“But he’s one of my most loyal assistants!”

“He is also pretty good at fooling people. But this paper has seen how he is when not observed, and it’s quite different. He is loyal only until it will pay him to betray you.”

“This is hard to believe.”

Eve’s lips quirked. “Believe me, or believe him.”

“I believe you,” he said immediately. “And it is apparent that I need you. We must go through all of these papers.”

“Yes, we must.” She glanced again at Jumper. “This will be quite dull for you. Why don’t you go for a ride in the park, or something? We have a kingdom to or ga nize.”

Jumper looked at Sharon. “Certainly,” she said. “Hop on.”

He did, and she carried him out into the surrounding countryside. It was lovely, with centaurs working everywhere. “They are very industrious,” she remarked. “Good workers.”

“I’m sure. Do you actually care about the centaurs?”

“No. But what I said about my ‘brother’ is true: I serve his purpose. He wants Clark and Eve to get to know each other. Actually a human/ centaur liaison would indeed be beneficial to both.”

“So far you have tried to corrupt five girls and me. I don’t think you have succeeded with any.”

“We have only begun to corrupt. You have not yet seen the second act.”

Jumper made a human shrug. “I can’t wait.”

“Fortunately, we can.” She entered another private stall, and was instantly all human. “And you will have trouble living without me, by the time I’m through with you. Once any male has tasted the wares of a De mon ess, no mortal female can fully satisfy him.”

Jumper feared she was speaking literally. But he couldn’t resist her warm embrace.

In due course they returned to the palace stall. Clark and Eve were wrapping up. “I think you are well on the way to establishing an honorable kingdom,” she told him.

“Here is an amulet,” he said, giving her a tiny silver horse shoe.

“When you are interested—”

“When you have that accommodation spell. It is too complicated without it.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

Sammy Cat had been napping throughout. Now he was in motion, leading their way.

Soon enough they were back at the Found Cabin.

“Yew too!” Wenda exclaimed.

“Well, it’s all in the dream realm,” Eve said. “I surely wouldn’t do this in real life.”

“Dew what?”

Eve laughed, showing the

horse

shoe. Then everyone laughed.

Jumper suspected that Clark might already have found the accommodation spell.

“But we are going to complete the mission,” Haughty said severely.

“Oh, yes,” Eve agreed. “Fun is fun, but the mission comes first.”

Jumper hoped that really was the case. Sharon seemed too confident, and the girls were too willing. But all he could do was carry on and hope for the best.

Haughty vanished, then returned. “Time for the break,” she said. One by one they disappeared. This time Dawn was the final one.

“Tomorrow it is you and I,” she said, and opened her shirt, flashing him with her bra. “Do you know what this is?”

“Your upper undergarment,” he said, not freaking. He had seen too much recently to be seriously affected, though it did, as always, stir his illicit desire.

“My booby trap,” she said, and vanished.

Oh, ugh! What an uncouth pun. That, rather than the bra, was on the verge of freaking him out.

Then he was back with the others in the Ogre’s Den. Another day was done, but they still had not found what they needed from the dream realm. Suppose they completed the final delivery, and still didn’t find it? Would that mean that Pluto had succeeded in stopping them after all, while diverting them with these spot scenes? But he did not voice this doubt.

“You look worn,” Tandy said. “Too much time in the gourd can do that.”

“Tomorrow it will be finished,” Jumper said. And hoped that it was.