Authors: Gavin de Becker,Thomas A. Taylor,Jeff Marquart
Contrary to public perception, anger and hate play much less a role in the selection process than perceived approachability.
Some media figures encourage and nurture images of approachability, perhaps because they feel they have to in order to maintain a following (girl-next-door type actresses or singers, down-to-earth politicians, product endorsers). You are not compelled to present an approachable image in order to maintain your business.
In any case, the idea that publicity which identifies boundaries is somehow hurtful to the perception that someone is a "nice guy" is erroneous. Many very popular media figures have also promoted (or at least accepted) public reports that include boundaries: "Redford guards his privacy;" "access to Oprah's fortress-like studio is by invitation only;" "a guard stands quietly outside Michael J. Fox's dressing room;" "a guard answered the gate at Michael Eisner's home;" "given her popularity, Tina Turner reluctantly acknowledges that security is a fact of life." Popularity itself is a widely accepted explanation for someone's security concerns.
Those considering pursuit of a famous person choose from a wide range of possible targets, and the pursuer's perception of each is affected by what he learns through the media. I asked Robert Bardo what advice he would offer to famous people about safety:
Bardo: Take it seriously if you are in the limelight in any way. Do not take pictures near your house or car. Don't disclose where you live. Don't tell reporters where your vacation home is. When a celebrity talks to a reporter, it's like they are talking to their best friend. If I can look in a magazine and see a photo of their car, I can get a lot of information. If I ever get close to where they live, the car will confirm it because it'll be the car I saw in the photo.
I read in Seventeen Magazine that Rebecca drove a Volkswagen convertible. And they told the color too, plum color. If I couldn't find a person I was looking for, I could read about them and find their parents or brother or sister. When I read about a celebrity in a magazine, I feel like I know them. The way they talk about their family life, about their problems, what it took for them to become famous. It's not like they're strangers. You always know when they're having a relationship with another person, or whatever happens in their life. To me, my victim was not a stranger because I read so much in the magazine articles. I felt like she was accessible. You read about them, and you think that you own that person.
de Becker: Did you ever consider that what you read in articles might not be true?
Bardo:
I thought it was the gospel.
Presentations of media figures that show them in their homes send a clear signal of a public life without boundaries. If one decides it's important to be photographed or filmed at home, it is wise if balanced by some reference to precautions (e.g., "The serenity of the thirty-acre property is closely guarded by sophisticated security program"). Presentations without such balance foster a false intimacy, which is part of the process that leads to unwanted pursuit. Bizarre though it may seem, the greatest intimacy most assassins attain is with those they attack.
Through stalking, they come to know their victims more closely than they know others in their lives, and through shooting them, they become partners of sorts. Bremer's diary shows increasing intimacy with his first victim of choice, President Nixon. As he stalked the president from state to state, the diary references move from "the President" to "he" to "Nixon" to "Nixy," and ultimately to "Nixy-boy."
In addition to public images of accessibility, some famous people go even farther by developing direct dialogue and giving personal-seeming attention to members of the general public. Bardo's coarse act of murder was, with the saddest irony, inflicted on the only girl who ever gave him any positive attention. Rebecca Schaeffer had sent a kind reply to one of his letters.
Bardo: It was a personal postcard where she wrote, "Robert, dash, your letter was the nicest, most real letter I ever received." She underlined "real." She wrote, "Please take care," and drew a heart sign and then "Rebecca." That's what propelled me to want to get some more answers from her.
de Becker: So what advice would you offer other famous people?
Bardo: Be careful about what you write. If you do answer fan mail, don't let it be so over-glowing. That's not the way to be with a fan, because it makes it seem like they're the only one, and that's how I felt. I felt I was the only one.
This case and thousands of others teach us that it is best when the style and nature of responses to unsolicited correspondence keeps clear boundaries.
We have many suggestions for the types of letters to be sent back to members of the general public. Small distinctions can have large consequences. Who should responses be from? Should they be direct or delicate? Should everything receive a reply? Answering these and other questions leads to development of a program for screening and handling of communications from the general public. Those communications that meet certain criteria should always be professionally assessed before a response is sent. That doesn't mean just those communications that include a death threat.
This raises one of the common myths associated with unwanted communications from the general public: that threats are the most serious type of communication. In interpersonal situations (neighbor, friend, spouse) a threat tends to increase the likelihood of violence by eroding the quality of communication and increasing frustration, but the very same threat conveyed to a public figure does not portend violence at all.
Still, it is a tenacious myth that those who threaten public figures are the ones most likely to harm them. In fact, those who make direct threats to public figures are far less likely to harm them than those who communicate in other inappropriate ways (love-sickness, exaggerated adoration, themes of rejection, the belief that a relationship is "meant to be," plans to travel or meet, the belief that the media figure owes them something, etc.).
Direct threats are not a reliable pre-incident indicator for assassination in America, as demonstrated by the fact that not one successful public-figure attacker in the history of the media age directly threatened his victim first.
The myth that those who will harm a famous person will directly threaten their victims first has led many to wrongly conclude that inappropriate communications that don't contain threats are not significant. The opposite is actually true.
Public figures who ignore inappropriate letters simply because they don't contain threats will be missing the very communications most relevant to safety.
The whole topic of how to handle unsolicited or inappropriate communications (letters, e-mail, phone calls, etc.) is an area of critical importance to any safety program. It provides the single greatest resource -- and the least expensive way -- to identify people who might pose a hazard to you or your family's well being.
Gavin de Becker
Appendix 5
Guidelines for Staff Handling of Inappropriate Communications
If you are aware of any inappropriate communications (phone calls, letters, visits, etc.), it is important to report these incidents to the appropriate person in a timely matter.
Telephone Calls
Ask for a return number.
Advise, "Just in case we get disconnected," but don't give callers the impression that someone will call them back.
Be polite, but "dumb."
Inappropriate callers should be handled in a pleasant, professional manner, but they should be given no information. Advise that you can take a message which will be passed on to "the appropriate person." Repeat that you are in a position to take a message, but beyond this, you can offer no other assistance. Just repeat that response; do not negotiate.
Make the contact as brief as possible.
Tell callers that you are busy, that the other phone is ringing, etc. Urge them to write if they have something to communicate, and provide them with an appropriate mailing address. (Letters are valuable to our assessment, but again, say only that the letter will be given to the appropriate person.)
Never promise anything.
Specifically do not promise that the message will be delivered directly to the person they ask for.
Don't use misdirection -- don't lie.
Do not tell them anything that is easily revealed to be a lie.
Carefully document all details of the call (time, date, background sounds, accent, collect vs. direct, content, etc.).
Report the call to the designated person in a timely manner.
Letters, Packages and Emails
Do not throw anything away. All materials, including envelopes, should be accepted, and forwarded to the appropriate person with as little handling as possible. Do not reject or return to sender any documents or packages.
Document the method of delivery (mail, Federal Express, messenger service), and the date and time it was received. Include this information on a note to be forwarded with the materials.
Use caution when handling organic material. Do not dispose of it until advised to do so.
In the case of emails, do not permanently delete any emails until advised to do so. Forward them to the appropriate person as an attachment.
Visits to Offices
Always remain calm and polite.
Ask inappropriate visitors if they have an appointment. Advise that it is inappropriate for them to visit without an appointment.
If they request an appointment, advise them to put their concerns in writing, including their name, address, telephone number, and reason for the request, and provide them with an appropriate mailing address.
If they wish to write on the spot, allow them to do so, and advise that it will be passed on "to the appropriate person."
If a visitor wishes to deliver a package, advise that you can accept it and pass it along "to the appropriate person."
Do not provide any other information.
Advise again that it is inappropriate for them to visit, and that this is private property. Warn them if they do not leave immediately, they will be arrested for trespassing (or other appropriate charge). If they refuse to leave, we recommend an arrest by calling the police.
Document the date and time of the incident. Also note a physical description, vehicle information, and any other relevant information.
Visits to Residences
Always remain calm and polite. Advise visitors that they are on private property, that it is not appropriate for them to visit, and they must leave.
If a visitor wishes to deliver a package, advise that you can accept it and pass it along "to the appropriate person."
Do not provide any other information.
Advise again that it is inappropriate for them to visit, and that this is private property. Warn them if they do not leave immediately, they will be arrested for trespassing (or other appropriate charge). If they refuse to leave, we recommend an arrest by calling the police.
Document the date and time of the incident. Also note a physical description, vehicle information, and any other relevant information.
Face-to-Face Encounters
If at some point you find yourself face-to-face with inappropriate individuals, make the encounter as brief as possible. We recommend saying, "I'll be right back," and walking away immediately. Any contact is likely to worsen the situation, therefore the time they are in your environment should be as limited as possible.
Criteria for Assessment of Inappropriate Material
Material that should be forwarded for assessment includes letters that make reference to the following:
Beyond these general categories, include anything that is disjointed in content, sinister, or otherwise questionable. This should include bizarre or unreasonable solicitations, including requests for money, gifts, or other assistance. Material from writers who send many letters after getting no response should also be passed on to us even if each of the letters appear normal. (We will return anything that is not worthy of assessment.)
Many writers will start with a normal letter, get a response, and then send questionable material later. If you recall that the writer has had a response in the past, please make note of that and send it with the letter.
Always include envelopes and packing material, even if torn.
When placing notes and notations on material you are sending to us, it is best to use Scotch brand Post-it note pads (manufactured by 3M Company) as they do not damage evidence as do staples and tape. Please do not write directly on the material.