Just a Kiss (20 page)

R
iley made his way through the maze of tables at the Roadhouse, heading toward the corner booth. He'd been dreading this all day. Bad enough he'd had to quit the co-op after only a week. Now he had to face his brothers. And they weren't going to go easy on him.

Well, that was tough. They couldn't know what it was like to go through what he'd been through. When he reached the empty corner booth, he slid into the seat. He hadn't heard from Paige since they'd parted the day before. Not that he'd expected to.

His mind kept flashing back to the hurt in her blue eyes, to the tremble in her voice. Just the memory of it made the walls of his chest close in. He felt the pinch of guilt along with the ache of loss, all of it overwhelming.

You're doing the right thing.

He had to think of her. Had to think of what was best in the long run. Maybe she was hurting now, but she'd be okay. She could do so much better. Deserved so much better. More than the emotional and physical wreck he'd become. He'd let himself forget for a while.

But losing her . . . it was worse than losing an appendage, and he could state that with complete certainty. Now he had the
memory of her kiss, the memory of holding her in his arms. He wasn't sure if the memories were a blessing or a curse.

He'd called Noah and moved up his plans by a few days. He had to get out of here before he slipped and begged Paige to give him another chance. Noah had seemed distracted and withdrawn during the conversation. Only after Riley twisted his arm did his friend come clean: His marriage was on the rocks. A divorce was likely forthcoming.

Riley tried to back out of coming. He didn't want to be in the way. But Noah insisted his help was needed more than ever. Maybe he could be a shoulder for Noah to lean on.

He didn't see Beau until he slid into the booth opposite him. Riley's strained smile died on his lips at the scowl on Beau's face.

“You broke up with her? And you're moving to Podunk, Georgia?”

He sighed. “Can't a guy break his own news around here?”

“What are you thinking?”

Zac approached, untying an apron stained with something brown. “Man, what a crazy day. No bread truck, an oven malfunction, and a prep guy with fresh stitches. Some days I should just stay in bed.” He slid into the booth beside Beau, his gaze toggling between them. “What's going on?”

“Our brother's moving to Georgia.”

Riley shot Beau a look. “Thanks.”

Frown lines formed between Zac's brows. “What? What about Paige?”

“He broke up with her.”

Riley glared at Beau.

“What the heck, Riley,” Zac said.

Riley sat back in the booth, crossing his arms. Maybe he
should just let Beau handle all this, since he was so quick with the answers.

“You just got an apartment, a job . . . ,” Zac said.

“And why'd you go and break up with her anyway?” Beau asked.

“Oh, do I get to talk now?”

Beau planted his elbows on the table. “Stop being such a tool and tell us what's going on.”

“Yeah, you make it so easy.”

Zac leaned forward. “Guys, come on. What happened, Riley? Why are you moving?”

“Nothing happened. I just—I need some space. I need to get away, and I've got that great offer from Noah. I can't pass it up.”

“And what about Paige?” Beau asked. “You're going to just drop her like that?”

“You mean like
you
did?” Riley asked.

Beau's jaw ticked. “She's in love with you.”

Heat pooled in the vicinity of his heart. Sweat broke out at the back of his neck. She'd said the words last night. The ones he'd longed to hear for years. Too bad he didn't deserve to hear them. But the look on her face . . . Guilt twisted inside, a feeling that was becoming more familiar than he liked.

“We're still friends.”

Beau leaned back in his seat, huffing.

“You said you need space,” Zac said. “Space from what, exactly?”

“He doesn't need space, he needs therapy.”

Riley gave him a flinty look. “Shut up, Beau.”

“Well, you do. I know you haven't been going. Maybe if you did you wouldn't be making such stupid decisions.”

“All right, guys, come on.”

“I don't need you to tell me how to live my life.”

“Could've fooled me.”

“Think what you want. This is going to happen, and there's nothing you can say to stop me.”

“Just like when you enlisted, huh? You're going to take off with no warning.”

Riley rolled his eyes. “And . . . we're back to that.”

“That's what you do, Riley. You run. You ran then, and you're running now.”

Riley gritted his teeth until his jaw ached. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

“What are you running from this time?”

“This is nothing like that.”

“This is exactly like that!”

His muscles tensed. “Oh yeah? 'Cause I'm pretty sure
I
have Paige now. I don't have to sit around watching you rub your relationship in my face.”

Surprise flickered in Beau's eyes. He blinked. Sank back against the booth.

“Oh boy,” Zac said.

Riley hadn't meant to say that. He tightened his fists under the table and fixed his gaze on the jukebox across the room. Stupid! Why'd he have to go and lose his temper?

“Wait.” Beau's tone was tempered with dread. “What does that mean?”

“It doesn't mean anything.” Riley's eyes bounced off Beau. “Bottom line is I'm moving on, and you need to come to grips with that. I have a good job, and I'll keep in touch.”

“You had feelings for Paige back then? While I was with her?” Beau sounded torn between indignation and empathy.

Riley narrowed his eyes. “Let me help you out here, buddy. I loved her way before you ever did.” He let that register for a long minute. Watched the emotions cycle across Beau's face. Realization. Pity. Guilt.

For a moment Riley was back in time, watching the two of them cuddling on the couch. Kissing hello and good-bye, murmuring quietly to each other. He'd been sick with jealousy over his own brother.

Beau's eyes shadowed with guilt. Something like pain flashed in their depths. “That's why you enlisted. You
were
running—from me and Paige. And I was too big an idiot to see it.”

“Stop taking credit for my decisions. I enlisted because I wanted to.”

“Because I was with the woman you loved.”

“All right, all right,” Zac said. “It's out on the table, but it's in the past. Let's just move on, okay?”

“I don't understand,” Beau said. “You've finally got her, and now you're leaving again. What am I missing here?”

He just wouldn't quit. Riley's fingers twitched. “There's nothing to fix here, Beau. Just leave it alone.”

“Not until you tell me what's really going on.”

“It's none of your business. That's between me and Paige. And you know what?” Riley moved from the booth. “I'm not really hungry anymore.”

“Riley,” Zac said. “Come on.”

But Riley was already walking away. He'd had about enough of his brothers for one day.

R
iley was gone.

Paige picked up the basset pup, and he nuzzled her under the chin. Sometime between Sunday and today a wide hollow spot had opened up in place of her heart. She worked. She ate. She slept. Well, a little. Mostly she fretted and missed and cried.

She'd played his words back in her head a hundred times. And yet despite his claims that she deserved better, the old doubts crept back. She wasn't enough somehow. She'd known it all along, deep down. She hadn't been enough for her parents, hadn't been enough for Beau, and she wasn't enough for Riley. Maybe as a friend, but nothing more.

She set the pup back in the kennel and went through the motions of closing up shop. After the shelter was locked up, she walked to Wicked Good Brew, the folder filled with her carefully prepared financial statements tucked into her side. This was supposed to have been a happy day. She'd worked so hard. Her animals would be okay. Her sanctuary was saved.

At the coffee shop she ordered a latte and found an empty
table. Margaret arrived a few minutes later, looking elegant in a long tunic and trendy jeans. After the woman had collected her iced tea from the barista, Paige waved her over.

They exchanged small talk for a minute before settling into business. Paige went over the financials, detailing the new monthly sponsors she'd signed on.

“And,” Paige said, injecting enthusiasm into her voice, “I just received word last week that the shelter is receiving a grant from a private foundation out of Boston. With the added funds we can host at least one spay and neuter clinic this year, maybe two.”

Margaret sat back in her seat. “Well, you have certainly outdone yourself, Paige. The sponsors, the successful fundraiser, the grant. I don't know how you pulled it off, but I'm so happy you did. The shelter is a vital part of the community, and it would've broken my heart to see it close. You should be so proud of yourself.”

For some reason the words made Paige's eyes sting. “That means a lot to me.”

Margaret took the offered folder and drained the rest of her tea. “I have no doubt the board members will be most pleased. It's never been more obvious that we have the right woman at the helm.”

“Thank you, Margaret.”

A while later they parted ways in the parking lot and Paige walked home, wishing she could feel a glimmer of optimism through the haze of loneliness.

“You still working?”

Riley's gaze shifted from the bright light of the computer screen to the doorway of his new office. Noah's fit form filled the
space, and his hands rested on his narrow hips. He had jet-black hair and a pretty-boy face the ladies used to go crazy for. But his tired eyes spoke of sleepless nights and an aching heart.

“I was passing by and saw the lights on.”

“Yeah, just getting familiar with this program. It's a little different from the one I used at the co-op.”

“You know it's eleven o'clock on a Sunday night?” He'd invited Riley to go out for a late dinner with his friends, but Riley had begged off.

“I'd like to hit the ground running tomorrow.”

“Right, well . . . We had fun tonight. Maybe you can come along next time.” He doubted Noah had anything resembling fun in weeks. But they all had their own ways of coping.

“Sure,” Riley said. But the last thing he felt like doing was meeting a bunch of new people.

Noah tapped the doorframe twice. “Okay, I'll see you in the morning.”

After he left, Riley put in another half hour, then locked up and headed home. He'd brought Bishop to the office with him, and the boxer's claws ticked on the stairs to his apartment, located over Noah's garage.

“Home sweet home,” he said as he opened the door for the dog.

A musty smell assaulted him as he entered. The streetlight filtered through the curtains, so he didn't bother with the light switch as he filled Bishop's water dish.

Riley doffed his prosthesis and washed up, then fell into bed, his body tired and aching. He should sleep well, if for no other reason than that he'd only had about ten cumulative hours over the past three days. The sofa bed was lumpy, and the window air conditioner didn't quite do the job.

He refused to admit the real reason he was losing sleep. A little denial went a long way.

Copper Creek was a pleasant enough place. About the same size as Summer Harbor, with plenty of small-town charm. The people were friendly and the scenery was nice. Maybe next summer he and Noah would go hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains. He tried to dredge up some excitement about that and failed.

He settled into the pillow and closed his eyes. Within minutes Bishop was snoring.

The early evening sky lit with an explosion of light and sound. His body lifted, and he was flying like a rag doll. He hit the ground with a hard thud, knocking the wind from his lungs. Pain. Darkness sucked at him.

He couldn't pass out. His buddy.

He spit out a mouthful of dust and pushed up. Looked down at his leg, then wished he hadn't. Bile rose in his throat, but he swallowed it back. He looked around, assessing the situation through a fog of pain.

A body lay in the dust several yards away.

“Tex!” The name scraped across his throat.

His friend's abdomen moved up and down. Breathing. Moaning. Alive.

“It's okay! I got you.” He crawled toward him, his elbows digging into the hard, dry ground of the goat path. His leg useless. “I got you, buddy!”

As he neared he saw the gaping wound. Bloody and big
. Oh God, help him!
It was so big. And right where his heart was. Riley tried to stanch the flow of blood with his hand. It was all he had. Blood poured over him, staining his flesh red.

“It's okay. It's okay, buddy.” He looked up into Tex's face.

But it wasn't Tex's weathered face. Not Tex's eyes staring back at him.

It was Paige's. Her blue eyes, blank as death, fixed on him.

“Nooooo!”

Riley flew upright, his eyes opening to darkness. His heart was a jackhammer inside his chest. His breaths came quick and shallow, and he was shaking uncontrollably.

Paige!

But he wasn't in the sandpit. He was inside. In a bed. Bishop stirred at his feet.

Just a dream. Just a dream.
Oh God! Thank You!

The image of her face haunted him. Her skin pale and lifeless. Her eyes like death. He tried to push the image away, but it wouldn't leave. He fell back in bed, catching his breath, a hand over his racing heart.

He lay there for hours, the bed shaking under the force of his beating heart. His mind filled with the terror of sleep.

He must've drifted off, because he wakened later to the buzzing of his phone.

He reached for it, answering, his voice nothing but a croak.

“Where are you, buddy?”

Noah. Riley ran a hand over his blurry eyes and checked the time. Ten o'clock! He must've turned off his alarm in his sleep.

He sat up, pushing the covers back. “I overslept. Sorry. I'll be there in twenty.”