Just a Little Crush (Crush #1) (17 page)

My eyes welled as I continued down to another picture.
Conquered
was stamped over it in red block letters. This picture I recognized though. It was the one Fallon had taken of Ryder and me yesterday.

Under the picture it had several numbers and a grand total followed by the user name RBriggs. Along the left sidebar was the caption “Leaderboard” and topping the list was RBriggs.

I shook my head. “This is fucked-up. I mean, who does this? It’s elaborate and…I’m going to be sick.” I pushed the laptop onto my bed and paced across the room several times. “When—when does this story come out?”

“Thursday.”

“So all along I was…a game. I’m a fucking game to him?” Tears streamed down my face as I balled my hands into fists. “What kind of sick assholes do this?”

“The website is registered to some guy who lives in Ryder’s dorm.”

“Marcus?”

“Yeah. That’s his name.”

Unbelievable. “He’s the techie Noah told me about. Wait, is Noah involved?”

“Is his last name Price?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Check the leaderboard.”

On the leaderboard, under Ryder’s username was NoPrice. “That’s what this was about. All along. The arguments. Everything. They were arguing about this right in front of me. Noah tried to warn me. He said something about me not being special. He even made a comment about Ryder winning. I’m such an idiot.” I slammed down onto my desk chair and buried my face in my hands.

“You couldn’t have known. I’m sorry. Really I am. Ryder seemed like a nice guy. He fooled everyone.”

“Print that out for me,” I croaked.

“What?”

“Print me a copy of what you just showed me, please.”

She grabbed her laptop and a second later the printer spit out a sheet. I snatched it and grabbed my phone.

“Where are you going?”

“To congratulate the winner.”

“I’m coming with you.” Fallon followed me into the hall.

I wiped my eyes dry and swallowed all my emotions, determined not to let Ryder see me crying over this, and stormed to his dorm. The entire walk my mind swirled. I went from angry to hurt, back to seething rage. Thankfully, at the time we arrived I was furious. I’d be damned if that asshole saw me cry over him. Over this.

Fallon stood behind me with her arms crossed as I banged on Ryder’s door. It swung open and Ryder stood there with no shirt on, his hair damp. A few darkened strands dangled over his green eyes. What would have thrilled me a few hours ago only disgusted me now.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, then his eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong?”

I held the paper up. “Congratulations, asshole.”

Ryder stared at the paper for a second then his expression sank.

I shoved it into his chest. “You know how I said nobody is worth wasting emotions like hate on? Well, I’ve changed my mind. I fucking
hate
you.”

He flinched.

My throat was dry and I swallowed. “With every ounce of my being,
I hate you.
” I spun and marched away as the tears spilled down my cheeks.

I skipped class on Tuesday and chose to stay in bed all day. I’d mentally recounted every moment with Ryder leading up to having sex with him. He’d warned me that he was no good but I’d fallen for him anyway. He’d played me well. The more he’d pushed me away, the more I’d wanted him.

I’d like to believe he’d really had feelings for me. That he’d tried not to hurt me, but then I remembered the leaderboard. Guys didn’t get to the top without screwing a lot of girls. Clearly he’d worked hard to get there and I was just a hurdle in the race. The night he chose me over Cassidy was probably when he realized I was a virgin. Of course he’d wanted me in his bed. That girl wasn’t worth as many points as stupid little me. And the night he found me outside with Noah, he wasn’t looking for me. He was preventing his roommate from surpassing him in their fucked-up little game.

I pulled my blanket over my head and choked back tears. Refusing to cry over him. My phone rang. I’d already talked to Grandma today who was back home and doing well, but just in case it was her, I glanced at the screen. It was Mason. I ignored the call, embarrassed to admit to him he was right about Ryder.

A knock pounded on the door. “Open up, Brinley. I know you’re in there. I heard your phone ringing.”

I threw back the blanket and stared at the ceiling. Sneaky bastard.

I slogged to the door and cracked it open. “I’m sick. Probably contagious. You shouldn’t come in.”

“Bullshit.” Mason pushed past, strolling into my room. “What’s going on? You haven’t answered my calls or texts and you skipped today.”

How did he know?

“I waited outside your class, don’t even try to lie.”

“I’m sick.”

“You had the flu this fall and still managed to text me. So what’s up?”

I sighed and sank back onto my bed. “I’ll tell you, but if the words ‘I told you so’ come out of your mouth, so help me God I will castrate you.”

“Whoa. Damn girl, when did you get all violent?” He smiled but I only crossed my arms. “Um, okay, you’re serious.”

“Have you ever heard guys talk about some kind of website where they get points for sleeping with girls?”

“A week ago a guy in my Spanish class mentioned something about it. He said it was invite only and asked if I was interested. I didn’t take him too serious. I thought he was bullshitting me. He’s always bragging about hooking up with girls so I thought he was just trying to sound like a big shit.”

“It’s real.”

His face blanched. “What does this have to do with you?”

My eyes welled and I looked down.

“Please tell me you’re not on this website.”

I shrugged and glanced at him. A tear sprang loose and rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away.

His shoulders sank. “Ryder?”

My lip trembled and I nodded.

“And you had sex with him.”

He said it like a statement not a question, so I didn’t bother answering.

I pulled my knees to my chest. “Worst part, someone ratted out the website to
The Sutton Star.
They have this whole exposé on it. They’re hiding the identity of the girls but they are outing the guys involved. They want the website shut down, and to publicly humiliate them, I guess. Though somehow I don’t think they will be humiliated. Just the girls. We’re the ones who look stupid.”

“They can’t run this story,” he said.

“It will be in Thursday’s paper.”

“No. They can’t. I mean, sure, this website needs to be shut down, but you’re right, the only people paying for it are the girls. Guys like this will eat it up. That’s the point, right? Bragging rights. What’s bigger than the school paper?”

“Maybe they will face some sort of academic punishment.” I shrugged. “I’m sure it goes against our code of ethics.”

“C’mon, you and I both know that won’t happen. A slap on the wrist, maybe, expulsion, never happening.”

He stood and banged his fist on the desk. “That son of a bitch. Dammit, Brinley. I can’t just sit around and do nothing.”

“What are you going to do? Fight him? I don’t exactly want you getting your ass kicked over this.”

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I know that you’re mad but I can’t let you get hurt.”

“So he lands a few hits on me. At least I’ll have the first punch.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Mason, but I can’t let you get in trouble.”

He huffed and plopped back onto my bed. “Does he know you found out about the site?”

“I took him a printout, so he knows I’ve seen it.”

“What printout?”

I pulled up the image from the email Fallon forwarded me. “This.”

Mason gritted his teeth as he stared at the screen. He muttered several curses then slammed the laptop shut. “You showed this to him?”

I nodded.

“What did he say?”

“I left before he had a chance to say anything.”

“What did you say to him?”

“ ‘Congratulations, asshole.’ Then I shoved the paper at him.”

Mason’s mouth twitched. “You said that?”

“Yeah.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him. “That’s pretty fucking awesome.” With my head tucked under his chin, he said, “I’m sorry. I know you cared about him and I’m sorry he wasn’t the guy you thought he was.”

“But you always knew he wasn’t.”

“Actually, I was scared he would be. I was scared to lose you, but this wasn’t what I wanted. I never wanted you to get hurt. A part of me hoped you wouldn’t fall for him, but I knew you already had.”

There was another knock at the door. I stared at it then glanced at Mason. “Maybe Fallon forgot her keycard?”

His lips thinned as he stood. “I’ll get it.”

When the door swung open, I saw Ryder standing on the other side. His gaze drifted past Mason and locked on me. His green eyes softened. “Brinley,” he said.

Mason stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door partly closed behind him. “Nah-uh, buddy. I don’t think so.”

“I need to talk to her.”

“Well, she doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Let her tell me that.” Ryder’s voice was strained, but it sounded like he was managing to keep his cool.

“Fine.” Mason turned to me, allowing the door to drift open. “You want to talk to him?”

Ryder stared at me, his expression looked hopeful.

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat and glared at him. “Absolutely not.”

He looked down.

“You heard her.” Mason shifted, blocking me from Ryder’s view again.

“I just wanted to explain—”

“Explain what?” Mason raised his voice then stepped out and shut my door behind him. His voice was muffled but I could still make out what he said. “Why you’re an asshole, or why you humiliated her? You know that when the article goes out, she’ll be the one to pay.”

“Article?” Ryder asked.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Please tell me you know this is going in the school paper.”

“The paper? Wait, what the hell are you talking about? It’s a website. She saw the website. I don’t know anything about the paper.”

“It’s been exposed. The paper is covering it. That picture you saw is a screen shot. She got it from someone at the paper. They are running it Thursday. Your little game is going live and you’re bringing Brinley down with you.”

“No,” Ryder muttered. “Fuck. How? Who? Son of a bitch.” There was a loud bang, like Ryder hit something.

Worried about Mason, I jumped up and threw open the door.

Ryder had stormed off down the hall, never even noticing me.

Mason shrugged. “He just left. He had no idea about the paper.”

“I heard.”

Ryder slammed the metal door leading to the stairs. I felt sorry for anyone who got in his way.

Mason shrugged. “Guess I just leaked the story.”

Wednesday I sucked up the courage to go to class even though I knew Noah would be there.

I kept my head down with my hair acting as a shield as everyone entered the auditorium, convinced they all somehow knew who I was and what I’d done.

Mason sat next to me, tapping his pen on his desk in a steady rhythm. I glanced at him when his beat suddenly stopped.

“Whoa, dude’s got a black eye.”

“Who?” I peeked around and saw Noah walk in. His glasses covered a little of it, but a purple crescent peeked under the black frames and along the bridge of his nose. He shifted and I noticed his lip looked swollen too.

“Someone kicked his ass.” Mason chuckled. “Maybe one of the girls he screwed over got a little payback. Might be a few angry boyfriends out there. Even if the school ignores this, I bet a whole lot of other people won’t. Maybe these assholes will get what they deserve after all.”

After class, Mason and I walked to the coffee shop. He’d ordered our drinks and we leaned against the counter in the back while they worked on them.

“What do you want to do this weekend?” Mason had pretty much stayed by my side for the last twenty-four hours. I think he suspected a psychotic breakdown.

“Besides hide my head in shame?”

“It’s going to be fine.” Mason pulled out his phone. “Do you have plans with your grandma for spring break?”

“No, she’s visiting her sister. I think her health scare made her want to get away on a little vacation, and spend more time with family she doesn’t get to see often enough.”

“So you’ll be home with your mom?”

My shoulders tensed just thinking about it. “That’s the plan.”

Mason shook his head as if refusing to accept that. “We should go somewhere for spring break. Like the beach. We can find someone looking to split a rental.”

Anything would be better than a week of Mom, even in my depressed state. “I guess.”

Mason perked up and started talking about the trip. I glanced around for an empty table. With only one girl working, our drinks were going to take a while. And that’s when I saw him.

Ryder sat in the corner, his gaze locked on me. He must have noticed me when I walked in and had been watching me the whole time.

At the table with him was his sister, Paige. She had a pile of papers in front of her. She gave me a smile that looked more sympathetic than friendly, then said something to Ryder.

He shook his head and looked down, then raised his gaze back to me. Under his left eye was a cut and tiny bit of swelling. With a forced effort, I turned away.

The barista called out Mason’s and my names and I snagged our cups, shoved Mason’s in his hand and muttered, “Let’s go.”

“What’s wrong?” He looked around. “Oh.” He placed his hand on my back and led me out the door.

“Who was that girl? It’s the same one from the restaurant, right?”

“His sister, Paige.” I sipped my coffee. “Did you notice the cut on his face?”

“No. Why?”

“Looked like he got in a fight.”

“Like Noah?”

“Exactly.”

When I woke Thursday, I couldn’t manage to get out of bed. I stared at the ceiling and wished I had a time machine that could take me back to before this all started. I’d return to the night of that first party and tell Mason we couldn’t go. God, how different my life would be if I hadn’t been there that night.

Fallon walked in right then, carrying two cups of coffee. She smiled and I groaned.

“Even coffee can’t make today a good day,” I said.

“I think it can when you hear what I have to say.”

“Last time you had something to say, it pretty much ruined my life, so on that note…”

“The story was pulled.”

“What?” I bolted upright.

“Yeah. Mel texted me sometime last night while I was sleeping. She said the story was canceled. Here’s the paper.” She tossed it in my lap. “It’s not there, and I checked online. There’s nothing there either. I don’t know how or why, but the story didn’t run.”

“Did they maybe just change the publishing date?”

“Nope. I called Mel this morning and she said the story won’t run and they’d all signed some sort of confidentiality waiver.”

“Seriously? Over this?” I flipped through the paper. “I don’t get it.”

“I don’t either but, point is, the story is dead.”

“Wait? What about the website? Is it still running?”

“Nope. It gives an error message when you try to pull it up.”

“Weird.” I tossed the paper onto the desk. “So, other than most of the males on campus, no one else will know about my stupidity in thinking Ryder liked me.”

“Maybe he did.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. That’s why he rushed home and claimed his points.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll get over it.” One day. Too bad it’d probably be years down the road.

“What really pisses me off is that he used my picture. I didn’t text it to him to be used like that. What an ass.”

“No shit. Guess you weren’t the only one wanting to capture the moment.” I shook my head. “Okay, no more talking about him. What are your plans for spring break?”

“I’m flying home to see my family. Will you be staying with your grandma?”

“Actually, she’ll be out of town so I’m thinking about going to the beach with Mason.”

“That sounds like fun. You should do that. He’s a really good guy, cares a lot about you.”

“Yeah.” My phone chimed with a text.

Mason:
Just saw paper. Nothing there.

Me:
Story got pulled. They aren’t running it.

Mason:
How? Why?

Me:
No idea. The staff signed confidentiality agreements. They aren’t talking about it. Crazy, huh?

Mason:
Too fucking weird. Something’s up.

Me:
Yeah, but as long as the story doesn’t run, I don’t care.

Mason:
True. I’m really glad it didn’t. For your sake. Not his.

Me:
I know.

I set my phone down and stood. “Guess this means I will go to class.”

“We should go out tomorrow night. Bring Mason, if you want.”

“Okay. But no trying to pick up guys. I’m done with them.”

“Well, I’m sure Dani will be thrilled.” She grinned as she grabbed her messenger bag and pulled the strap over her head.

I laughed then sighed, happy to even be able to smile again. “Thanks. For everything.”

“No problem.” She gave me a quick hug and opened the door.

“Oh, wait.” I’d been so wrapped up in my personal crisis, I’d completely forgotten about her internship interview. “How did the interview go? Or is it still bad luck to talk about it?”

She grinned. “I’ll have a final answer in a week or so. But, I will say, I have an appointment with an academic advisor set up for after spring break.”

“You’re declaring a major?” I practically bounced with excitement for her. “So this is good, right?”

“I feel like it might be. But no more talking about it. We’ll jinx it.”

I bit back all my questions, masked my happiness and nodded. “Got it. No more talking.”

She tossed one more smile over her shoulder then slipped out the door.

The next night Mason, Fallon and I took a cab downtown to The Box. Since it was pretty much dubbed the college bar, I expected to see people we knew, so when we ran into Mel and Leena I wasn’t too surprised. They’d been there awhile and were already heading into drunk territory.

We ordered drinks and, while I had no desire to get as drunk as I had the night I threw myself at Ryder, I wanted to have a good time. Most of all I wanted to forget. For one night, I wanted to pretend my heart wasn’t completely broken over him.

Mason stayed close and kept eyeing my drink as I polished it off fairly quickly. I planned to slow down after I got a nice buzz.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I’m going to be fine. I just want to have fun tonight.”

“Understandable.” He smiled and patted my leg.

“Someone dance with me,” Leena begged.

“Where’s Mel?” Fallon asked.

“At the bar with some guy,” Leena pouted.

“Mason, why don’t you dance with her?” I asked him.

He spun to me, but I’d seen the way he’d been looking at her. He felt some need to stick close and protect me but I knew he thought she was cute and, really, I didn’t need him mothering me. It was pretty much killing my buzz.

Leena stared at him and I knew he wouldn’t say no. Not when she turned those big brown eyes on him.

“You sure?” he asked me.

“Fallon will stay with me. We’re good. Have fun.”

“Okay.” He slid out of our booth and Leena popped up next to him. She grinned at me over her shoulder as they walked away.

“You know he’s in love with you.” Fallon leaned her chin into her hand and watched Mason walk away.

“He thinks he is.”

“Huh?” Fallon asked.

“Mason and I have been inseparable since we were, like, fifteen. We’ve always been there for each other, and I love him. I can’t imagine my life without him. I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me. But it’s not romantic love. I think he’s having trouble differentiating the two.

“When another guy, whose name will not be mentioned, stepped into the picture, Mason was jealous and scared to lose me. It blurred the lines of our friendship. But we could never have a romantic relationship.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s attracted to you physically.”

“Um, have you met the guy? He’s attracted to anything with opposing parts. We were never meant to be more though. I don’t want to ruin our friendship trying to prove that to him.” I scooted out of the booth. “I’m going to the bathroom. Put that ID to good use and get us another drink.”

She grinned. “On it.”

I slipped past people as I made my way to the back of the club. There was a line to the girls’ bathroom. I leaned against the wall and glanced at a nearby table. Several guys sat around it, laughing. One had a girl in his lap, another was flirting with the waitress, but the one who captured my attention was slouched back in his chair running a finger over a glass filled with dark liquid. Ryder.

He ignored everything around him. Someone said something to him and slapped his shoulder. He shrugged and tilted his glass to his lips, throwing his drink down in a few gulps. The ice rattled as he set it down. The waitress said something and he nodded. He pulled his phone out and stared at it. His shoulders sank and he shoved it back in his pocket.

My heart skipped and I tried to turn away but he entranced me. His tongue flicked over his lip ring and he pulled it between his teeth like he did when he was lost in thought. His T-shirt stretched tight over his chest as he settled back in his chair.

The waitress reappeared and set his drink in front of him. She said something and grazed her fingers along the back of his neck.

Ryder rolled his eyes.

She couldn’t see from where she stood and didn’t seem to get the hint. She ran her hand down his chest over the spot where his tattoo was and my blood boiled.

He winced and shifted away from her.

She pursed her lips and stomped off.

“Hey, are you going?” A girl behind me pointed to the bathroom.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” I glanced one last time at Ryder as he threw back his new drink, and then stepped into the bathroom.

When I was done, I fixed my hair and put on some lip gloss. My phone chimed and I pulled it out.

Fallon:
Ryder’s here.

I typed a response as I stepped out of the bathroom and rounded the corner.

Me:
I saw—

I ran into someone and looked up.

Ryder.

He steadied me and glanced at my phone. I lowered it and locked the screen.

“Sorry,” I muttered, and tried to pass him, but he put his hand on my shoulder and stopped me.

“How are you?” he asked.

The music was loud in the club but in this narrow hallway I could hear better. Maybe I could pretend I didn’t and keep walking.

“Brinley, I’m so fucking sorry. Please talk to me. Let me explain things.”

I jerked free of him. “Nothing you can say will fix this.”

“I know. God, I know. But let me just tell you what happened.”

“I’m sorry you feel the need to clear your conscience, but I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it. What you did—there are no words for it. I want nothing to do with you. In fact, I wish I’d never laid eyes on you.”

“Brinley.” He raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. “I love you like fucking crazy.”

My jaw dropped and then I shook my head. “No. No, you don’t get to say things like that.” I pushed him away from me. “Dammit. You can’t say that. Haven’t you hurt me enough?” My eyes welled and I looked down. “Please get out of my way.”

A second passed, then he stepped aside.

I brushed past and took a deep breath, unable to comprehend why Ryder would say he loved me. Was it just to get me back? Or maybe because he was drunk? He didn’t really love me or he wouldn’t have done what he did. It pissed me off. He had no right to tease me with the kind of words I’d hoped to one day hear…before. Now they hurt. I counted to ten, attempting to regain my cool, and headed to my table. Thankfully, Mason was still dancing with Leena. But Mel had returned to the table.

Fallon leaned forward, listening to whatever she was saying. She saw me approach and scooted over to make room.

“You okay?”

I nodded.

“Get my text?”

“Yep, I tried to respond but then I ran into him. Literally.”

“No way.”

“Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Okay. Mel was just talking about the paper.”

“Oh, yeah.” I perked up at this information, curious to get the details on what really happened.

“She said a lawyer got involved with the website fiasco.”

“A lawyer? From where? The school?” I asked Mel.

“Nope, a private one,” she answered.

“Who would hire an attorney?”

“I don’t know, but she came in with a stack of papers and disappeared into the editor’s office. They were in there for a while. When she came out, we were all called in. We had to sign confidentiality agreements and aren’t allowed to discuss the content of our article. In fact, I’m not even supposed to be saying this.” She laughed a little and sipped her drink. “Seriously, that lawyer threw around all these legal things like confidentiality and privacy laws. I really thought maybe you knew something about it, considering she threatened charges of something called false light on your behalf.”

“Wait, what?”

She slapped her hand over her mouth.

“What’s false light?” Fallon asked.

“I have no idea,” I said. “But you’re saying this lawyer used my name?”

“Yeah. But I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. God, if she’s your lawyer, please don’t tell anyone I said anything. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“No, I swear, I didn’t hire a lawyer. I couldn’t afford one even if I wanted to. God, I wish I knew who leaked the story in the first place.”

“His name’s Noah Price,” Mel said.