Authors: Tracie Puckett

Tags: #Romance, #Young Adult, #Contemporary

Just a Little Sincerity (6 page)

I lifted my chin and held his gaze. “Why… why are you here?”

“You don’t have to understand,” Luke said, resting his head on top of mine. “Just go with it.”

“But I want to,” I said, never breaking his stare.

“Julie,” he whispered, tucking a curl behind my ear and brushing my cheek with his thumb. “Not every action has to come with an explanation.

“With you it does,” I said. “If you don’t explain, I may misinterpret.
I
may think we’re having a moment, and then
you’ll
accuse me of having irrational expectations.”

A small smile crossed his lips before he lowered his head to mine. Without a word, he pulled me closer and we swayed quietly to the music, neither of us taking any notice of the couples nearby. It was a moment of complete serenity; I can’t remember ever feeling so loved and protected. But I was quickly reminded that every time I let Luke get this close, he bolts without explanation. And then I spend days trying to figure out why he’s running. And it was a game I just couldn’t play anymore….

“Is it safe to assume that as soon as the clock strikes midnight… you’ll be on the run again?”

“Don’t assume—”

“Based on past experiences,” I said. “That’s what you do best. The moment we get close—”

“Julie,” he said. “Can’t you just enjoy one night? No questions? No strings attached?”

“No,” I admitted. “Not anymore… not with you. You have too much of my heart, Luke. I want to know what’s going on. Why are you here? Why did you tell Charlie all those things?”

“What things?”

“I heard every word you said to him back at the house,” I said. “I was sitting in the stairway the entire time.”

Luke pulled back for a moment. I caught a brief glimpse of disappointment in his eyes, but it soon faded with a simple nod.

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop, Julie.”

“Yeah,” I said, nearly whispering. “But I’ve had to develop a roundabout way of learning things about you. You’re not exactly the
least
cryptic person I know.”

He pulled me closer to him again. We danced in silence for the remainder of the song, neither of us wanting to waste our time together. I’d convinced myself that one wrong move could end the night, and the last thing I wanted was to spend my evening chasing after him.

A half-hour into the night, Luke didn’t say much else. He nodded, shrugged, smirked, and laughed at the appropriate times, but he simply listened while I carried on (story after story) about anything I could think to talk about. It was a rare opportunity to spend this kind of close, personal, one-on-one time with him, and I didn’t want to squander a moment.

With only one song to go before the evening came to a close, I snuggled in close to Luke, preparing myself for one last trip across the dance floor.

I stared at him intently, watching the overhead lights shine in his dark eyes. I traced his jawline with my finger, admiring his incredible, God-given beauty. When I reached his mouth, my finger stopped short of the inch-long scar on his upper lip. He pulled his head, looking away from me, and tried to avoid meeting my stare. I turned his head back in my direction, no longer looking at the scar, but gazing straight into his eyes.

“You’re worried,” Luke said, resting his head back on mine. “What’s on your mind?”

“You,” I said, taking a deep breath to fill my lungs with his unnaturally fragrant scent.

“What about me?”

“What happened between you and Lonnie?” I asked, remembering the tension and animosity that filled the room this morning. “I know I only met him the one time, but he seemed like a pretty great guy. It… makes me think that something pretty bad must have gone down to make him… so angry at you.”

“I didn’t go to his wedding,” Luke said, as if that should answer all my questions. “He got remarried five years ago… I didn’t go. End of story.”

I nodded, knowing Luke was only sharing what he felt was necessary.

“Why didn’t you go?” I asked. “Was it because of your mom?”

“No,” he said, biting his lip. “No, it wasn’t… she would have wanted Lonnie to move on. She wouldn’t have wanted us to sit around, dwelling, hurting, or crying over her loss. Of course, that’s what we did for months… but I, unlike Lonnie, knew that
time
heals all wounds.”

“Was it his choice of bride?” I asked. “Do you not like Grace?”

“I love Grace,” he said, a gentle smile crossing his lips. “She’s a godsend. You know she’s Bruno’s sister?”

“Yeah,” I said. “So, in a weird way, you and Bruno are family.”

“He’s my step-uncle,” Luke said, shaking his head at the idea. “And sadly, the closest thing I have to family right now.”

I rested my head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck.

“You know,” Luke said. “Bruno’s been pulling for us since the day you walked into the station.”

“Maybe at first,” I said. “But he’s changed his mind since, I think.”

“Yeah?”

“He told me… earlier this week… I was at the station, and he said that I was in too far over my head. He said there was no hope for us, no love, no chance. He told me to stop pursuing you. I… I didn’t know what to think.”

“He was only doing what he thought I’d want him to do,” Luke said. “He was the only person who knew about my feelings, Jules. When I was in the hospital, I asked him to help me. I didn’t want to drag you into this life; you had your own problems, you didn’t need mine too. So, he agreed to help me keep my distance. And… if he saw me slipping, he’d pull me away.”

The memory of the Halloween party flooded my mind. Bruno didn’t seem too happy that Luke had shown up for the party. And it was only when he and I were about to share a kiss that his cell phone rang—a call from Detective Bruno—interrupting our moment.

“What problems could you possibly have that you don’t want me dragged into?” I asked. “Does it have something to do with why you keep running from me?”

“I’m not running, Julie,” Luke said. “I’m… sorting.”

“Sorting?”

“My thoughts, my feelings, my intentions….” He took a deep breath and continued, “I thought we were heading in a good direction, making some kind of progress, but I was afraid of slipping up. I wasn’t ready for Charlie to know anything yet—not when
I
didn’t know what was going on. So, I did my best to keep you at a distance. But then I screwed up. Bad… and I’ve been so humiliated by that mistake that I can barely stand to face you.”

“Mistake?” I asked. “What mistake?”

“Julie… I don’t remember telling you that I love you,” he said. “I don’t remember standing on your porch, holding you, and spilling my guts.”

“You don’t believe it happened?”

“I know it did,” he said. “Because I know… I know what alcohol can do to some people—especially people in
my
family. And I should have known better than to think I was an exception to the rule. But… understand, I was never angry with you, Julie. I hated myself for slipping up. I never wanted you to hear that like that—”

“I’m not sorry you said what you said, Luke,” I said, running my fingers through the side of his hair.

“But I’m sorry that it happened that way,” he said. “It shouldn’t have. You deserve so much more—”

“Luke,” I said. “We all make mistakes. We all do things we shouldn’t do, but that’s part of life. It’s okay—”

“It’s not okay, Julie,” he said. “After my mom died, my dad started drinking. At first, it was a casual drink in the evening to hide the sorrow. But then the pain found its way to the surface, and one drink wasn’t enough. So he’d drink another, then another, then… five or six more.” Luke’s eyes glossed over, but he managed to keep even a single tear from spilling out. “He’d do things—awful things—when he drank. Things… he wouldn’t remember doing when he was sober.”

I ran my thumb across the scar above his lip. “Did he do this?”

Luke didn’t answer. He didn’t say a word; he didn’t nod, shrug, or change his expression. He simply took a deep breath and pressed a kiss to my head.

“Under the influence,” Luke said. “Reibeck men do stupid things.”

“You’d never hurt me, Luke,” I said. “I know that.”

“I do too,” he said. “I’d
never
hurt you, Julie. Because after I made a fool of myself in front of you at the poker game, it’s safe to say those days are behind me. You’ll never see that side of me again. I promise.”

“Is that why you didn’t go to the wedding?” I asked. “Because he hurt you? And you haven’t forgiven him?”

“In many ways, yes,” he said. “He only hit me once, but once was enough. I moved out after high school, struggled to make it through college on my own… and those weren’t easy years. I spent all that time blaming my father for taking away my dignity; I had no sense of self-worth, Julie. None.”

“But you do now,” I said. “And that’s all that matters—”

“My life changed when I got out of the academy,” he said. “Your Uncle Charlie gave me a job. He respected me, treated me with kindness, and honored my opinion. It was because of him that I finally got back on track again; I was focused for the first time in years. But I
still
carry a chip on my shoulder. I still resent him for everything that happened.”

“So,” I said, still staring deep into his eyes. “Your father is angry because, after all the changes he’s made, you still haven’t forgiven him?”

“He’s angry with me… because he doesn’t understand,” Luke said. “He doesn’t know why I left in such a hurry, why I never came home, or why I shut him out.”

“How can he
not
understand?” I asked. “He
literally
scarred you for life—”

That’s just the thing, Julie. He doesn’t remember hurting me. I just walked away; I didn’t feel like he deserved an explanation.”

“Do you regret that now?”

“I do,” he said. “But there’s nothing I can say. I certainly can’t call him up and say,
hey dad, sorry I’ve been an ass for five years, wanna grab a bite
?”

“Have you ever thought of telling him the truth?” I asked. “That always seems to be a good place to start.”

“I’ve thought about it,” he said. “But then I have to consider… who am I doing that for? Me or him? It’s selfish. Telling him that he beat me to a pulp one night six years ago isn’t going to do anything but hurt him.”

“So you’d let him go on hating you… never knowing the truth?”

“He thinks he knows the truth,” Luke said. “He thinks I resent Grace because she’s not my mother… and that’s okay. It’s better that way.”

“Better for who?” I asked. “It’s not better for
you
.”

“But it’s better for him… and Grace. They’re happy, Julie.”

The song came to an end, but Luke didn’t pull away. He rubbed his nose against mine and rested our heads together.

“I need you to know how sorry I am,” he said, just above a whisper. “For everything. You should have bailed a long time ago, but you didn’t. Why?”

“Because I loved you, Luke,” I said. “I’ve loved you all along… I still do.”

“I need to fix things with my father, Julie,” Luke said. “Without telling him the truth, and that’s going to take time. We’re a stubborn bunch; he’s not going to forgive me easily. And that’s why I’ve kept my distance, kid. I can’t move on to the next stage of my life… I can’t start something new until I’ve fixed the things that are broken.”

“Take your time, Luke,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

Dear Reader,

If you enjoyed reading
Just a Little Sincerity
and have a moment to spare, I would greatly appreciate a review on the site where you purchased the book.

Thank you!

-Tracie

http://traciepuckett.com/

https://www.facebook.com/traciepuckettnovels

Books available for download:

The Webster Grove Series