“You mean, be Klaus's sidekick?”
“Fuck that. I'm his partner. He might be my
sidekick once we get going.”
“You're ridiculous, man. Are you going to
give yourself super powers next ? I recommend super-humility.”
Chris picked up his keyboard as Frank got off his desk.
“Sure. And you will be granted
super-testosterone, so you can finally grow into a man,” said
Frank.
Chris continued the matching of wits.
“Super-hair dyeing skills.”
“Super-stand-up-comedian.”
“Super-shitty beer drinker.”
“Super-ambulance driver.”
“Super-inappropriate use of company
time-er.”
“Alright, alright,” said Frank, bowing to
the winner.
“Anything else you managed to get out of
Erik I should know of?” asked Chris.
“He has an engineer that’s gonna start
developing specific tools and shit we can take in the field.”
“Like Alfred?”
“Alfred was a butler. He didn’t make
anything. You’re thinking of Q from James Bond.”
“Alfred made… Batman’s bed. Where are we
supposed to be going? The hospital was like a charity thing.”
“Erik was given orders to start sending
Klaus and Johnykin out on patrol. He wanted to do more testing, but
his boss thinks they’re ready to go.”
“What? Are we working for the military?”
“The government dumb ass. So kind of,
yes.”
Chris stared at Frank. “What the hell did
you sign me up for?”
Frank stared back. “You started this
yesterday by saving that girl. Don't give me that shit that I made
you do anything.”
Chris spun his chair away from Frank as if
to talk to himself. “Sadie is already pissed at me. She's going to
be furious when she hears we have to go out on patrol. What does
that mean; patrol? I’m not ready to do this every day. I thought it
would be like once a month or something.”
“You proved yourself, already. I can’t
believe I’m saying this, but I’m the one not ready. I want to do
this, but I’ve got to prove I can.” Frank turned back to his desk
and sat down. He turned the computer on and clicked his way through
the internet.
Lunchtime came and neither Erik nor anyone
else came over to check on Chris and Frank. They went out for
sandwiches and on the way back Frank brought up another perk of
their new titles, getting access to the Fun Room at any time. Frank
suggested they get in a workout since it had been a while for both
of them, but as soon as they stepped back in to the lab Erik popped
up.
“That was a long lunch,” said Erik. “I hope
it wasn't anything too heavy. Head over to the Fun Room. Walt is
waiting for you.”
“Tally Ho, Field Master,” said Frank, and
led the way.
“Who's Walt?” asked Chris, catching up to
Frank.
“The engineer, remember? You never listen to
me.”
“You didn't say his name. How am I supposed
to know?”
“I don't care. Come on.” Frank opened the
door to the Fun Room and grabbed Chris's shoulder to force him
through.
The same weights and toys that Chris saw
Johnykin and Klaus train with were present along with a man in his
early twenties wearing the standard lab coat of every other real
employee of Timely National Labs. Frank walked past Chris to shake
hands first with Walt Kurtzman. Walt smiled at the bold, firm
greeting from Frank and introduced himself to Chris with an equally
pleasing smile across a round face that made Chris picture a
child.
“I've worked for the labs for just five
years now,” said Walt now with a bashful smile. “I was really
surprised Mr. Lee wanted me to work on this project, especially
under such short notice.”
“It means you're good at what you do,” said
Frank. Chris looked sideways at his friend for the first compliment
Chris had probably ever heard out of Frank's mouth.
“Yep. So what did you want to see us for?”
said Chris.
“Right. Erik actually wanted me to go over
your suits,” said Walt. “I didn't design them, but I'm pretty
familiar with the technology behind it.” Walt took them over to a
corner with two dummies wearing the new Super suits. Chris laughed
out loud and then louder after seeing Frank’s disappointed
face.
The uniforms consisted of a thick, black
padded vest much like a baseball umpire would wear; shin, knee,
thigh, and forearm protectors that furthered the baseball look;
leather gloves and a black helmet akin to a biker gang member but
still fitting with the baseball theme.
“What the fuck is that?” said Frank.
“Um, well they’re just prototypes right
now,” said Walt. “I'm going to be redesigning them based on the
technology that’s already there.”
“What technology?” said Chris.
“We're going to look like we just got kicked
out of a little league game,” said Frank. He stepped up to the
dummy and punched the padded chest. “I could get this technology at
Dick's Sporting Goods.”
“It looks safe,” said Chris.
“It’s very and will be even safer when I'm
done with it,” said Walt, with only half of his previous smile.
“Oh shit. I'm going to look like an asshole
next to Klaus,” said Frank.
“I need you to try them on now. They should
fit fine, but Erik wants you ready to go as soon as possible,” said
Walt.
Chris and Frank awkwardly slipped into the
uniforms with Walt's advice on which buckle went where. When it was
done, it was obvious to everyone, including the still smiling Walt,
that Chris and Frank looked like second rate stunt doubles.
Frank slunk his shoulders and tried not to
look at Walt's face in case he might punch him in it. Chris bounced
on his toes and admired the bulkiness.
“I look ripped,” said Chris, and punched
Frank in the chest. “Oh ho, there's padding in the gloves. I didn't
even feel that.”
Frank punched Chris hard between his
shoulder and bicep where there was no protection. Chris grabbed the
spot in pain. “Yeah, it didn't hurt me either,” said Frank.
Chris kicked Frank in the shin, which forced
Frank to retaliate and started a semi-playful pummeling. Walt
looked on with a dumbfounded expression.
Then a voice echoed through the speakers in
the Fun Room, “This isn’t ‘Fight Club’ for girls. You have work to
do. Klaus and Johnykin are waiting for you simpletons.”
Chris stopped and looked up at the ceiling.
“They have cameras in here?”
“They have cameras everywhere,” said Frank,
and shoved Chris to complete their rumble.
Earlier, Chris couldn't find a soul when
walking through the A1 lab, but now everyone was in attendance to
watch the two-man parade.
“It's the bottom of the fifth with two runs
out,” said Neal. “I'm only being light hearted. Humor will help
ease the tension I see developing across your faces. And another
reminder, I need to see both of you after today's patrol. I need to
evaluate where your stress levels are post duty.”
“You two look amazing,” said Carla with a
cheerful wave. “Have fun out there if you can. I wish I could join
you.”
“Be safe,” said Art, standing next to his
wife. “And I have to say one joke. It's not to be cruel, but while
you're out there call a fair game.”
Carmen held a test tube and waved it as they
passed, forgetting the liquid inside that spilled all over her lab
coat.
Alex walked away from his computer long
enough to take in the commotion too. “I like the black,” he said
and disappeared.
Erik greeted them outside with his top lip
curled in a dubious smile. Chris waited for something sarcastic to
come out of Erik's mouth, but with Frank holding back steam from
shooting out his ears Erik stayed quiet. This ended up being a
better tactic than Chris at first realized, because the silence
proved worse than any comment Erik could make. Frank shoved Chris
in the back to move ahead to the SUV and then positioned himself
face to face with Erik.
As Chris got into the backseat he watched
Frank tower over Erik. The back of Frank's head and tensed
shoulders said everything that Chris couldn't hear. Of course Erik
playfully talked back as if this was the show he had planned all
along and Frank was merely reading off the script Erik supplied. It
was only a minute's worth of back and forth before Frank stomped
his way to the SUV. Chris slid over the leather seats to allow
Frank to take his place. Thoughts to calm Frank down or lighten the
mood flickered through Chris's head. None of them seemed likely to
work.
The driver didn't give much wait time
either. He headed out of the parking lot as soon as they were
buckled in, which confused Chris. “Wait. What about Johnykin and
Klaus?”
“They're already there. Don't worry. I'm
sure nothing exciting's happened yet,” said the driver.
Traffic was thin as they headed down 580 and
into Dublin. Chris thought it strange that Erik didn't tell them
where they would be making their world premiere. How long would
they be driving? Even with cool air pumping through the vents, the
usual nervous sweat began its trickle down Chris's lower back. Were
there going to be reporters waiting? Cameras?
The answer and destination came sooner
rather than later, though. The Stoneridge Mall with its two-story
grey walls stood unimpressively as the SUV snaked through the
parking lot to the equally ordinary main entrance where
'Stoneridge' was spelled out for anyone unclear as to where they
were.
“The Supers are inside,” said the driver.
“Bring me back an Oreo Blizzard when you're done.”
Frank and Chris hustled out of the SUV and
squinted at glass doors leading to duplicitous merchandise in an
overly comfortable, climate controlled environment. Like the gym,
both men tried to spend their time in different surroundings. But
none of that mattered when they remembered what they were
wearing.
“Watch it blue,” said a teenager in tight
jeans and a fauxhawk who slithered around them, chuckling.
Frank readied to punch out the mall regular,
but the teenager skipped inside all too aware of the physical
danger lollygagging could bring.
“Come on,” said Chris, and held the glass
door open for Frank.
Inside, the teenager that taunted Frank was
eyeing shoes from a store front. Frank came toward him to let out
some of the aggression that had rebuilt once they arrived at the
disappointing gala. The teenager was more alert than Frank gave him
credit for. As soon as Frank took a step near him, the teenager
skipped away again while giving Frank the finger.
“Run you little fucker,” said Frank.
“What are you doing?” said Chris. “We're the
good guys or something. We need to act like it and we need to find
Johnykin and Klaus.”
“What the hell are we doing here? I'm going
to kick Erik's ass. He said nothing about a mall or playing rental
cops or whatever the fuck - What are we doing here!?”
“I don't know. Should I call them? Do you
have their numbers? Do they have numbers? Is there a hotline? We
are totally unprepared to be here.”
“We look like we're robbing the mall or
already have robbed the mall and are wearing what we stole!”
Frank was yelling by now and more shoppers
had come out to look over the drama interfering with their
purchases. Amidst the crowds gathering around were Johnykin and
Klaus coming to the rescue.
“You made it, finally,” said Johnykin,
walking up to Chris and then hugging him. Even with her small
stature she took no hesitation in grabbing Frank's shoulders and
shaking him. “Relax, big guy.”
Klaus shook Chris and Frank's hands.
“Another exciting adventure in front of us, aye boys. Or at least a
chance to get some junk food for the first time in forever.” Klaus
eyed the Cinnabon employees rolling out fresh dough.
“Come on, we have a bit of a tour planned,”
said Johnykin.
She walked next to Klaus, Chris and Frank
followed in line behind. The Supers still looked plain cool. Chris
tried to ignore the discrepancy, but he could see the envy contort
Frank's face.
“This is a joke, right?” asked Frank to the
Supers' backs.
“No joke, Frank,” said Klaus. “The mission
is about good will. We can't just act like cops roaming the streets
for trouble.”
“So we roam the floors of a mall,” said
Frank.
“They need help too. Erik worked with the
security team to allow us to come on as free agents for a few
hours,” said Johnykin.
“Probably so the security team can sit on
their asses and sleep,” said Frank.
“Probably,” said Klaus. Johnykin backhanded
his chest in response along with giving him a mother hen look.
“Frank's right. Good publicity, good will, whatever Erik wants from
this it blows.”
This was more than enough of a crack for
Frank to push his other complaints through. From the costumes they
wore to what he really thought of Erik gushed out of Frank and
surprisingly egged Klaus on as well. Now Klaus and Frank walked
next to each other, which moved Chris to pair off with
Johnykin.
There wasn't much to say at first. Chris was
relieved that the first mission involved next to no danger and thus
no worried looks from Sadie when he would tell her about it. Plus
the embarrassment of wearing an umpire's uniform wore off when he
realized the rest of the mall patrons didn't carry any better
fashion sense. Johnykin didn't care for the silence that Chris was
content to walk in, though. She hooked his elbow and dragged him
into The GAP, while Frank and Klaus stood chattering like old army
buddies.
Johnykin began in the women's section and
held up a summer dress. “Think I can pull it off? I know I'm not
very girly but what the hell, right?”
“Yeah,” said Chris, trying not to think too
much of Johnykin pulling any clothes off.
She dragged him over to the jeans next.
“Remember when everyone was wearing baggy jeans? You know, to look
gangster or whatever. Even the girls. I couldn't do it. Plus my mom
would never have bought me them.”