Just Between Friends (31 page)

     “I understand, Ma, and I love you too,” he returned.  “Sleep well.”  As she left the room, he prayed, “Dear God, please let her be alright. 
What would he possibly do without her?

     Once Louise had crawled back into the bed and pulled the covers over her, it took only a matter of minutes before she fell into a deep sleep.  When Ethan awoke that morning and saw how peacefully she was resting, he couldn’t bear to wake her.  She needed this.  So, he decided to let her sleep until she awoke on her own.

                                            ***

     When she first awakened, she was confused.  Then becoming more aware, she noticed Ethan was already up and the sun was high in the sky.  It must be late, she reasoned.  Quickly rising to her feet, she slipped on her house shoes, hurried to the window and peered out.  Seeing no-one about, she hurried and dressed.

     Going straight to the kitchen, she found a note lying on the table. 
Dear, I already fixed breakfast for Alec and myself, and left yours in the skillet.  We’ve gone to do our chores.  When we return, please be ready to leave.  I know you wanted to visit the doctor earlier, but you were sleeping so soundly, I couldn’t bear to wake you.

    
Oh
, she thought,
how sweet of Ethan to take care of
breakfast
.  So after eating, she had cleaned up the mess then went back upstairs.  She was feeling much better after finally getting some sleep, so she made the bed then waited on her husband.

     Ethan and Alec returned about a half hour later.  Alec hurried upstairs, while Ethan grabbed an apple from the table.  As he passed by his wife who was standing near the doorway, he hurriedly said, “I’ll just go freshen up a bit, and be right back.  Are you ready to go, dear?”

     “Yes, I’m ready, but I’m feeling much better now.  Maybe we should just forget about it.”

     “Nice try,” Ethan chuckled, “but it’s not going to work.  Give me ten minutes, and we’ll be on our way.”  He quickly kissed his wife on the cheek, and dashed from the room, without giving her a chance to say anything more.

***

     Approximately a half hour later they reached Doctor Mitchells and Louise was feeling quite nervous.  “Ethan, maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all.  I told you, I feel better now.  Maybe I just needed some sleep.  Since I got it, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

     “Oh, no you don’t Louise,” Ethan corrected.  “We’re here and you’re going in to see him.”  He took her hand in his, and with his other, he gently caressed the back of it to help calm her nerves.  “Look dear, there’s nothing to fret over.  You’ve just been stressed out lately, that’s all.  I’m sure he’ll give you something to help you relax then you’ll be fine.”

     “I’m sure you’re right,” she agreed.  “All this worrying isn’t helping me anyway.  Besides, it’s quite cold out here.  Come on.”  Gathering her nerves, she climbed down from the wagon, with Ethan following right behind her.

     They were relieved to find there was no-one else there.  He had such a tiny place, just a two-room structure, and small rooms at that.  As they entered, he met them.  “Ethan, Louise, what brings you here?”

     Since Louise didn’t answer, Ethan explained, “Oh, it’s not much really, doc.  Louise here just seems to be having a hard time sleeping lately, and it’s beginning to take its toll on her.  Too much stress, that’s what I think.  But we thought it would be a good idea to see you and maybe you could give her something to help her rest.”

     Doctor Mitchell pushed his wire-framed glasses up further over his eyes to study her for a moment before he responded, “Well sure, but first let’s go in here so I can check you over.”  Placing his hand gently on her back, he led her to the next room, shutting the door behind them.  He then directed Louise to climb onto the examining table.

     Feeling uneasy, she watched him as he gathered his things in which to examine her.  Picking up the stethoscope first, he walked toward her, and after she lowered her dress from her shoulders, he listened to her heart.  After receiving a thorough examination, she dressed then waited for him to say something.  If she could only read his expression, but she couldn’t. 
Why wasn’t he saying anything?  Was he being
reluctant
, she wondered,
because something terrible was
wrong with her, and he didn’t know how to tell her
?  She was still contemplating these things when he moved toward her, and pulling his chair up, sat close before her.

     Hesitantly, he began, trying to keep his voice low.  “Louise, I’m talking like this so Ethan won’t hear what I’m about to tell you.”  Noticing how tense she was, he comforted her, “Please understand first of all, there’s nothing serious wrong with you.”  She breathed a sigh of relief as he continued, “How old are you, Louise?”

     She was puzzled by this question.  “I’m Forty-eight, why?”

     “Just as I thought, even though that’s still a little early in life, it does happen sometimes.  You see, Louise, when a woman reaches her early fifties, she begins her change of life, and that’s what you’re experiencing.  When you first told me of your restlessness, I suspected it, but once you told me the other symptoms, I knew then.  Don’t worry, I listened to your heart and it sounds very strong and healthy. The sudden, fast heartbeats you’ve described are not uncommon in women going through the change.”

     He patted her hand. “You’re going to be fine.  I’ll give you something to help you sleep, and you’ll get back to normal soon.  But I’ll be honest.  I don’t know how soon.  It varies with different women.  I know all this is very annoying for you, but try to be patient.  Eventually every woman goes through it.”  Seeing how sad she looked, his heart went out to her.  He grew silent as he let all this sink in.

     Her lips were slightly trembling as she spoke. “Doctor Mitchell, does this mean I can no longer have children?  I know it’s been over twenty years since I had my last child, and Ethan and I probably wouldn’t have had any more anyway, but just knowing I was still in my child bearing years kept us hoping.  Please, don’t get me wrong.  We’re really proud of our two sons, but there’s still always been something missing.  Ethan has so wanted a daughter, and I kept hoping that one day I would be able to give him one.”

     He watched as one tear trickled down the side of her face.  “Louise, you’re only beginning the change, and some women have actually become pregnant while going through it, even though it’s rare.  But once you’ve totally gone through it, and you no longer have your monthly, then no, I’m sorry to report, you’ll no longer be able to bear children.”

     Her heart sank at his words.  As she arose from the table, she wondered how she could possibly tell Ethan.
He didn’t deserve this.  He still needed someone who was capable of giving him more children.  It just wasn’t fair.

     “Louise,” Doctor Mitchell offered, “here take one of these each night before going to bed.  They will help you sleep.”   He handed her some packets.  “I’m giving you enough sleeping powders for two weeks.  When you run out, I want you to return so I can examine you again.  Then if you need more, I’ll give them to you, alright?”

     She nodded, and said appreciatively, “Thank you, Doctor Mitchell, and please, don’t say anything to Ethan about this.  I have to be the one to tell him, when I feel it’s the proper time.”

     “I understand perfectly.  You just go home now and take it easy, and Louise, don’t worry about Ethan.  I’ve known him a long time and I know he’ll be relieved to find out there’s nothing more serious wrong with you.  Just be honest with him, alright?  You’ll both feel better.”

     “I’ll do my best, doctor, but you can’t possibly know how I feel.  It makes me feel less of a woman somehow.”

     He could sympathize with her, for in all his experience as a doctor, all the women he’d treated for this had felt the same way Louise did.  It would just take time.

     Watching her leave, he shook his head, wishing there had been more he could do, but there were some things only nature could take care of.  He could only wish her luck.

   
 
.

     The days were dragging by, or so it seemed to Steven.  The weather had turned colder, and the snow had been almost a constant for nearly a week.  Oh, how he hated this.  Only three days left before he took Miranda as his wife, and he had so longed for good weather.

     He wanted everything to be perfect for her on her wedding day.  His legs were steadily improving, though he still used his cane.  Maybe by this summer he could begin the construction of his own house.  Miranda deserved the best, and he would see that she got it.

     It was still early and daylight was just beginning to peek through his window. 
It feels so good to actually lie in a bed with
clean blankets and pillows again
, he thought.  In all the time he had been in hiding, the only bed he had known had been hard wooden floors.  Since his return home, he had been so used to sleeping on those floors, that he actually had a hard time getting used to the soft mattress.

     But that wasn’t the reason he couldn’t sleep well now.  It seemed all he thought about was the fact that in only three days, Miranda would be sleeping by his side.  Not in this bed, but in that of their own.  It all seemed impossible, knowing then, he could hold her in his arms and make love to her whenever they felt that desire, which he was certain, would be often.  He grinned at the thought.  Feeling that desire growing within him, he tried his best to put his mind on other things.

     He slowing arose, threw aside the covers and slung his legs over the edge of the bed.  After a moment, he stood to his feet.   It was still quite early to begin his chores, so he dressed, then quietly went downstairs.

     Making his way to the kitchen, he made himself a cup of coffee then sat down.  As he drank it, he couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t promised his father he would help him cut more wood today.  He wasn’t being selfish, knowing they had enough wood to last a few more days.  Besides, winter was almost over.

     The need to see Miranda was overwhelming.  Yesterday his neighbor had needed his help till late, now his father.  It was torture to him to be unable to hold her in his arms.  After nearly six years of separation, they deserved to be with each other every minute of every day. But he supposed he was being selfish.  It was his right to help out.  “But soon, my love,” he spoke softly, “soon we’ll never be apart again.”

     He was still drinking his coffee when he heard someone stirring about. When the door swung open, Sam slowly entered, yawning.  Noticing how tired she looked, he asked with concern in his voice, “Sam, didn’t you sleep well?  You look awfully tired.”

     She walked to him and lightly kissed his forehead.  “Don’t worry, little brother, I slept just fine.  That is, once I actually went to bed.  Alec was here till late again.  I guess I’m just getting old and can’t take as much as I used to.  He took me and Sarah for a sleigh ride.  She enjoys them so, and it was late when we returned.  Even Sarah went to bed later than usual, for she was having so much fun.  I guess staying up late every now and then won’t hurt her.”

     Steven noticed how radiant his sister had become, since she and Alec had gotten close, and it did his heart good.  He had so wanted her to be happy again and Sarah also. Even appearing as tired as she apparently was, he could see all the heaviness had lifted from her shoulders, and she really seemed to be enjoying life again.

     He suddenly burst out, “So Sam, when do you and Alec plan to tie the knot?”  The question took him as much by surprise as it obviously did her.  He hadn’t planned to ask that.  It just slipped out.

     “Where did that come from?”  She asked, in confusion.

     “To be honest with you, I don’t really know.  I wasn’t meaning to ask that. But, since I did, how about answering my question?”

     “Steven, for pity sake, quit being silly.  There’s never even been a mention of marriage.  Maybe we need to get to know each other better first.  A person shouldn’t just jump into something like that.  You’re mature enough to know that.”

     She was embarrassed, so he decided to let her off the hook.  Rising to his feet, he went and stood beside her as she placed bacon strips into the skillet, avoiding his gaze.