Just One Look (Women of Substance) (4 page)

“Hell to the yes.”

She laughed.

I smiled and tilted my head to study her.

“What?” she brushed a hand across her face. “Food in my teeth?”

“No. I’m just wondering about you and Rob.”

She sighed. “So am I. He’s not okay with my gaining weight. He’s made that clear. It will need to be him or the weight. I can’t have it both ways.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What else? Lose weight.”

Since I’d decided myself that I needed to lose weight to improve my chances of entering a serious relationship, I was in no position to suggest maybe it was time she looked for a relationship with a man who wouldn’t be so obsessed with a little weight gain.

“And you’re okay with that?”

She nodded and then shook her head. “I’m torn. I want to lose the weight for myself but I wish it wasn’t such a deal breaker for him. But it is and I’ll have to deal with it.” She smiled suddenly. “But that’s enough down talk. I’ll do what I need to do to keep him. Let’s talk about something more pleasant like your wardrobe.”

We spent the rest of the evening discussing what I’d wear for a first date with Anderson in such detail, that I was more than a little disappointed when I arrived home to find that he still hadn’t responded to my email.

“It was probably going to be a long night, girl.” I took a glass of wine into the bedroom and slowly drank it before getting into bed. Sleep eluded me for over an hour before I even started to feel drowsy.

The bad mood I woke with the next morning worsened when I discovered there was no message from Anderson.
Why didn’t you go out with him when you had the chance? Now you’ll have to either ask him out or forget him. Those are your only two options.

Deciding I was not up to asking him out, I forced myself to work. Although difficult, I managed to get through the day.

Anderson

Four days after meeting Narena, I was on my second drink seated in a booth at the bar on the ground floor of my condo complex when my brother Manning slipped into the booth opposite me. “Hey squirt, why don’t you return your calls?”

At 6’ 3” I was three inches taller and fifteen or so pounds heavier than Manning. I was also eighteen months younger so he insisted on calling me squirt. “Why the hell would I want to talk to you?”

He laughed and reached across the table to slap my cheek. “Show some respect for your older brother and tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why didn’t you return my calls?”

I shrugged. “You said it wasn’t important.”

He stared at me. “Are you serious?”

“Yes. I’m serious. What did you want, Manning?”

“I’m opening up the beach house this weekend to take advantage of the good weather. Do you want me to save a bedroom for you and Caren?”

Although we lived in the same complex and I generally considered him my best friend, we didn’t often party together. I had a cabin in the Poconos, which we both used. He had a house on the beach at the Jersey Shore that either one or both of us used from May through October each year.

The thought of sleeping with Caren again held little appeal. “Thanks, but we’re not going to be a couple for much longer.”

“No shit? Your choice or hers?”

“Mine.”

“Mom is not going to be pleased.”

“Tell me about it,” I said.

“When I talked to her last week, she was practically salivating at the idea of you and Caren giving her a couple of blue-eyed blond grandkids.”

“I never said or did anything to make Mom think I wanted to marry Caren. She knew I was seeing other women.”

“But you made the mistake of allowing them to meet and you apparently never mentioned any other woman by name. Hell, even I thought you two would end up engaged.”

“Well you were both wrong. Weren’t you?” I snapped, annoyed.

“What happened?”

“What makes you think anything happened?”

“What happened?” he asked again.

I reluctantly told him about Narena.

“Damn, Andy. Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun a little considering you haven’t even managed to get her to go out with you yet?”

“Regardless of what happens with her, it’s over between Caren and me.”

“Do you have anyone else in mind besides this…what was her name again?”

“Narena and no I don’t.”

“What’s she like?”

“Why?”

“What’s she like?”

I told him and waited for his reaction.

“Fat and African American? Damn, Andy. When you stray you don’t play around.”

“She’s not fat and what the hell is wrong with her being African American, you narrow– minded ass?”

Manning’s dark eyes narrowed and he reached across the table to jab at my chest. “What the hell is wrong with you? You know damned well I’m not prejudiced but you go from dating slender blondes to lusting after a full-figured African American woman and I’m not supposed to be surprised?”

“I don’t want to discuss her.”

“What is it about her that makes her so irresistible? The fact that she’s black…full figured or didn’t hop into bed with you the day you met?”

I shook my head and sat back against the seat. “Do me a favor and fuck off,” I said and lifted my glass in the air before finishing my drink.

He arched a brow. “When do I get to meet her?”

“You don’t.”

“Why not?”

“What part of she said no when I asked her out don’t you understand, Manning?”

“Let’s face it, Andy, we’re both used to getting our way with the women of our choice so naturally when we meet one who says no, it’s a turn on. That being so, surely you’re going to ask her out again.”

“I asked her out, she said no. I do not intend to ask her out again. Now can we talk about something else?”

Manning gave me a long silent look before he slowly nodded and dropped the subject.

If only dismissing thoughts of Narena Devon was as easy.

Narena

A week after Anderson and I met, I knew he had no intentions of asking me out again. My only good news during that time was how well my article was received. Harry gave me the green light to explore other avenues to keep my blog fresh for my readers.

To my annoyance, Anderson’s failure to contact me made it difficult to ensure the success of my column. Since I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I needed to decide if I wanted to reach out to him in the hope that he was still interested.

I slept on it and decided I was. After spending the day in the office, I came home and wasted hours trying to compose an email that wouldn’t make me look as if I were begging—even though that’s how I felt.

I finally came up with a message I thought got my point across—along with a hint of humor.

Anderson,

When I said ask me out again I meant sometime this century! If you’re still interested, you’re going to want to ask me out before I exercise away all my substance.

Rena.

Anderson

“You’re seeing someone else. Aren’t you?”

Standing at Caren’s apartment door after declining her offer to spend the night with her, I knew she wanted to force a showdown. I’d spent too little time thinking about her and too much thinking about Narena Devon not to know it was time to end our relationship—before she ended up hurt.

“This has never been an exclusive relationship, Caren, but actually, I’m not seeing anyone else.” Of course that was only because Narena hadn’t gone out with me.

Womanlike, she pressed me. “But there’s someone you’d like to see?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Are you sleeping with her too?“

“No.” And I won’t be sleeping with you either. “I haven’t even been out with her.”

She moistened her lips. “Then there’s no reason we can’t continue seeing each other.”

I shook my head. “That’s not a good idea.”

“Why? She wants you all to herself?”

“She’s refused to go out with me so I think it’s pretty safe to assume she doesn’t want me at all.” I paused, giving myself time to choose my words carefully. “But although I’ve enjoyed our relationship, I think it’s gone as far as it can.”

She placed a hand on my chest. “Before you decide we’re past our expiration date, Andy—”

I removed her hand from my chest and held it in mine. “You’re a sweet, giving, beautiful woman who deserves far more than I can give you.”

She shook her head.” Andy—”

“There’s no reason why you should settle for less than you deserve, Caren.” I kissed her fingers and stepped back.

She looked at me with tears in her eyes before she went into her apartment and closed the door.

Damn. I inhaled slowly, feeling like a heel. I took the long way home. Home? Inside my apartment, I undressed and lay across my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I had two successful businesses and enough money to live a very comfortable life. But home? The apartment had all the creature comforts I wanted, but it was not home. Home was a place you shared with a loving family. Not a place where you wallowed in alone.

If you’re alone, you have no one to blame but yourself. You’ve known countless women who would have gladly married your sorry ass.
Annoyed with myself, I rolled off the bed and went into the living room to pour myself a drink. Back in the bedroom, I found sleep elusive. I decided to check my email.

My mood improved when I saw the message from Narena. Finally. I frowned. Actually, it had only been a little over two weeks since our first meeting, but thoughts of her had never been far from my mind. And now she was ready to go out with me. Yes!

I immediately composed an email in response.

Narena,

It would be a crime for you to exercise away even one ounce of your charming substance. Consider yourself asked out again.

Anderson

When I emerged from the shower half an hour later, I read her response.

When? This century or the next?

Smiling, I glanced at my watch. It was after eleven but that was early for a Friday night. I sat at my laptop to send my reply.
I’ll pick you up in forty minutes. Don’t bother trying to offer any excuses why I can’t see you tonight because I’m not accepting any. I’m on my way and expect to get in.

Anderson.

Narena

With no thought of refusing Anderson’s invitation, I leapt out of bed and tore off my nightgown as I rushed into the bathroom for a quick shower. I’d just put the finishing touches on my make-up and brushed my hair until it framed my face like a dark cloud when my phone buzzed.

I felt a flash of heat rush up to my face. Fanning myself with my hand, I hurried through to the entrance door. “Yes?”

“It’s Anderson.”

Hearing his warm, deep baritone sent a jolt of anticipation through me. After taking a quick moment to close my eyes in a vain effort to slow down my racing heartbeat, I pasted a smile on my face and opened the door.

He wore a dark suit with a white dress shirt with several buttons open at the neck.

To my surprise, he reached out to take both my hands in his. “Damn. It’s good to see you,” he said.

I knew he meant it and I couldn’t remember ever being happier to see any man I wasn’t already in an intimate relationship with. “Thank you.”

He released my hands and touched my hair, his gaze sweeping over me. “You look lovelier than you did the last time I saw you. I’m relieved to see all your…substance still present and accounted for.”

I smiled, feeling like the most beautiful woman in the world. “You have a way of making a woman perfectly happy with herself.”

“You’re a woman who’s perfect just as you are. There’s only one thing I would change about you if I could.”

I tensed. “And what’s that one thing?”

“I’d cover your beautiful body with my lips and finger prints.”

Oh hell he knew how to make me hot. I lifted a hand and fanned myself. “Is it me or is it hot up in here all of a sudden?”

He laughed. “It’s definitely not just you.”

Thank God for that.
“Where are we heading?”

“Are you hungry?”

My appetite had been almost nonexistent since we met. I shook my head. “Are you?”

His gaze swept down to my breasts where it lingered for several moments before he looked into my eyes again. “Not for food,” he said.

I felt my heartbeat racing at the implication. “That’s all I have to offer.”
Tonight.

He bent his head to brush his lips against my ear. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” I said, hoping my reluctance wasn’t as obvious as it felt. I didn’t do sex on a first date—no matter how much I wanted to. And Lord knew I wanted to that night.

“Are you sure I can’t change your mind?” He nipped my ear.

I shivered and pressed my hands against his chest. “You probably could, but please don’t try.”

He pressed a quick kiss just behind my ear, which sent another jolt through me. “Okay. I won’t.” He stepped back from me and offered me his arm. “I’m in the mood to dance. How about you?”

The thought of feeling his big body against mine as we slow danced, sent my desire soaring off the charts. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Given how horny I am?” He shrugged. “Probably not but let’s do it anyway. You already have my promise that I won’t try to sleep with you—tonight.”

“And after tonight?”

“All bets are off.”

Good. “Then let’s go dancing.” I slipped my arm through his.

He took me to a jazz club where we slow danced in silence for nearly an hour before we sat at a table for two under the stars on the club’s balcony.

“Why are you…horny?” I asked after I finished my second drink. “Why hasn’t your non-exclusive friend taken care of your needs?”

“She would have—if we were still seeing each other.”

Don’t get excited yet, girl.
“What happened?”

“I ended our relationship.”

I felt my heartbeat speed up. “Why?”

“She clearly felt more than I did and she was getting too serious.”