Just Physical (30 page)

She placed a string of open-mouthed kisses down Jill's chest and licked the underside of one breast.

Jill's hands came up, and her fingers tangled in Crash's hair, trying to guide her to her breast.

Crash playfully resisted. She nibbled the outer curve of one breast and took her time caressing Jill's sides and the arch of each rib before moving on and kissing a slow trail down her belly.

A red mark, like the one she'd found on Jill's hip, graced her belly. This time, she knew better than to ask about it. A bit of research online had revealed that it was probably a skin irritation on one of the alternating injection sites.

She kissed Jill's skin all around the mark and paused with her lips hovering just above the lacy edge of Jill's panties. That close, she imagined she could already smell Jill's musky scent. With her fingers on the elastic, she hesitated.

The previous times they had slept together, they had both avoided oral sex. But now it was becoming harder and harder to resist the urge to taste Jill.

Jill didn't stop her as Crash pulled the panties down a bit, but neither did she encourage her by guiding her hands or her head or by lifting her hips off the bed so Crash could strip off the last article of clothing.

Crash looked up to gauge her reaction.

Jill's eyes were closed—not in pleasure, but in deep sleep.

No. She didn't…?
Crash squinted and took another look to make sure she wasn't imagining things. Sure enough—Jill had fallen asleep. Her bare chest lifted and fell in the regular pattern of sleep.

Sighing, Crash rolled off her and lay next to the sleeping woman, staring up at the ceiling. She could honestly say that something like this had never happened to her before. Huffing out a frustrated sigh, she let her hand trail down beneath her own legs and squeezed softly. God, she was so turned on. She could feel the heat and the wetness even through the fabric of her slacks. For a moment, she was tempted to slide her hand down her pants and take care of herself, but with Jill peacefully sleeping next to her, it felt too weird.

She pulled her hand away and shook her head at the situation. A wry grin turned into a quiet chuckle. When she had read about the effects MS could have on Jill's energy level and her libido, she had wondered how she would deal with a situation like this. Well, now she had a chance to find out.

She turned onto her side and watched Jill sleep.

In repose, the witty, always strong woman looked very young and vulnerable.

Crash wanted to wrap her arms around her and protect Jill, but she knew it was impossible. Jill would never allow it anyway; she insisted on being her own protector.

She eyed her shoes and her blouse, which formed a trail from the door to the bed. Should she get up, dress, and leave? But she didn't know the security code that would lock the door and secure the home behind her, and she didn't want to leave Jill defenseless. Knowing Tramp, he would greet any burglar with friendly licks.

Truth be told, she didn't want to leave. Moving carefully so she wouldn't wake Jill, she stripped off her slacks and her bra and dropped them on the pile of clothes next to the bed. After one last glance at Jill, who still slept soundly next to her, she turned off the light, moved closer until she felt the heat of Jill's skin against hers, and closed her eyes.

Despite the uncomfortable pressure between her legs, Jill's soft breathing quickly lulled her to sleep.

CHAPTER 16

An uncomfortable sensation in her
left leg woke Jill. That wasn't anything unusual. But when she shifted, trying to ease the discomfort, she discovered that it wasn't the MS that created the strange sensation this time.

She opened her eyes. Sunlight was streaming in through her bedroom window.

Another woman's bare leg lay across her equally naked one, pinning her thigh to the bed.

Wait a minute!
How had she gotten into bed, much less naked with another woman?

Even without looking, she knew who it was. By now, she was familiar with the toned body that was pressed up against hers.
Crash.
As soon as she thought the name, the fog of sleep cleared and she remembered.
We got home from the restaurant and went upstairs, and she undressed me and started kissing my chest and then…

Nothing. She couldn't remember what had come after that.

Oh no.
She pressed her forearm over her eyes, covering half of her burning face.
Don't tell me I fell asleep on her!

She took stock of her body, then slid her hand down Crash's, who mumbled something unintelligible and pressed closer but didn't wake. Jill discovered that they were both still wearing their panties. The rest of their clothing was strewn around the bed.
Shit.
She had indeed fallen asleep in the middle of things.

And that's why you have no business being with her. You don't even have the energy for a sexual fling anymore. Damn fatigue.
Tears burned in her eyes.

Then Crash flung her arm over her too, now trapping her completely.

Yet she's still here, even though I left her with the lesbian equivalent of blue balls.
Her body was warm against Jill's, the hard muscles softened by smooth skin. Jill had missed waking up in her arms. For a moment, she allowed herself to imagine again what it would be like to always wake up like this, to share her life with Crash.

But last night had been proof that it wouldn't be fair to Crash. It was enough to have her own life destroyed by the MS; she wouldn't allow it to rule Crash's too.

Jill was just about to slip out from under Crash without waking her when the gate buzzer sounded and Tramp started to bark downstairs. She froze.

Crash's relaxed body took on the tension of wakefulness. Her right arm flexed around Jill. Her eyes blinked open, and she looked at Jill from just inches away. A smile formed on her face, so tender and intimate that Jill was torn between sinking back into her arms and fleeing downstairs. “Good morning.”

“Morning. The bell rang. Someone's outside the gate.” Jill pointed in the direction of the front door. “I need to get up.”

“Oh. Sure.” Crash took her arm away and rolled to the other side of the bed.

Jill instantly missed their body contact.

The buzzer sounded again.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses. I'm coming.” Her days of jumping out of bed were over. Jill rose slowly until she was sure that both legs felt steady. When everything seemed to be in working order, she reached for a robe and made her way down the stairs. She pressed the button for the intercom so she could talk to the person outside of her gate, while using her free hand to rub Tramp's ears. “Yes?”

“Finally,” a male voice said. “What took you so long?”

Jill's jaw gaped open. “James?”

“The one and only,” he answered.

“What are you doing here?” Her brother had visited her only once since she'd moved into the house, and they hadn't talked at all in the last year since she'd told him she had MS and he had declared it God's punishment for her being gay.

“It wasn't my idea. I was in LA for a conference this week, and Mom insisted I stop by and make sure you're doing okay before I fly back.”

“I'm fine,” Jill said. Why was it that she had to say that so often nowadays?

“So you aren't going to let me in?” James asked.

Jill sighed. No doubt he'd report back to their parents if she didn't. He'd always been a little tattletale, even as a child. Whenever Jill had been up to any kind of mischief, he'd run straight to their parents and had given her away. No wonder perfect James was their favorite. Gritting her teeth, she pressed the button that would open the gate.

When she opened the door for him, Tramp rushed outside, and this time, Jill didn't hold him back. Let James be scared for a moment before he realized Tramp was just a cuddly teddy bear, eager to be petted. Not that James would ever pet an animal when he was dressed in his pinstriped suit, as he was now.

He stepped around Tramp and into the house and let his disapproving gaze wander over her bathrobe-clad body. “You're not even dressed? It's after nine already.”

“So what? Is there a law that forbids bathrobes after nine?” Jill asked, folding her arms over the terrycloth robe.

He shook his head at her. “Of course not. But do you really have to live up to all of the stereotypes about Hollywood starlets?”

“What stereotypes are that, pray tell?”

“Staying up late, partying and doing God knows what, and then sleeping all day.”

“How would you know that's what I've been doing?” Jill asked, not even trying to hide her bitterness. “You haven't been part of my life for a long time.”

He slowly straightened his tie. “I don't need to be part of your life to know the obvious. There's an SUV parked right outside your property, you're still in bed after nine, and I can hear someone moving around upstairs.”

“That's none of your business.” Jill's muscles tensed until she thought they would start to cramp.

“The heck it's not! You're still my sister!” He slammed his hand against the wall next to her head, but Jill tried her best not to flinch.

Tramp started to growl, which Jill had never heard him do.

“What am I supposed to tell Mom when she asks about you?” James asked with a challenging stance. “That I found you in bed with another woman? I thought you gave that up when you found out about the MS? You know, I always thought it was a good thing that you got the illness. It stopped you from acting on your attraction to women.”

Jill had heard him say similar things before, so it shouldn't have been a surprise. His words still hit her like a punch to the gut. How could he, her own brother, say something so hateful? Anger and sadness warred with each other, surpassed only by disbelief.

Before she could think of an answer, Crash was suddenly next to her, dressed in the sleeveless blouse and the pair of slacks from last night. For once, her blue eyes appeared cold, narrowed to slivers of ice. “I think it's time for you to go.”

“Who are you?” James asked, squaring off against her.

“Someone who won't allow you to talk to Jill that way,” Crash said. Her voice was controlled, but it vibrated with tension, and her hands were curled to fists at her sides. She stabbed her finger toward the door. “Go. Now!”

His face turned red with anger. For a moment, he looked as if he wanted to get into a fight with her, but then his survival instinct kicked in.

The normally easygoing Crash radiated danger, making even Jill's jackass of a brother think twice about getting into her face.

Jill almost wished he were less of a coward. She was pretty sure that Crash could have kicked his butt from here all the way back to Ohio without even breaking a sweat. A part of her would have loved nothing better than to see that.

James turned toward Jill. “Will you really allow your…your…girlfriend,” he spat out the word, “to treat your own brother like that?”

A grim smile stretched across Jill's face. “Yes,” she said, not bothering to correct him about who Crash was to her. “You don't deserve any other treatment. Mom sent you to make sure I'm okay. Not to criticize the way I live my life or to make hurtful comments. If that's all you can do, then we have nothing to say to each other.”

He regarded her for a moment and then shook his head. “I will never be able to understand how two siblings can be so different.”

“That might be the only thing we will ever agree on,” Jill said and opened the door for him. “Good-bye, James. And don't come back until you can accept me for who I am, not who you want me to be.”

After glancing back and forth between her and Crash, James finally turned and stepped outside.

Jill didn't wait for his parting words, knowing she wouldn't like them. She closed the door in his face before he could open his mouth.

Crash stared at the door and then at Jill. “What the hell was that?”

“My brother.”

“I gathered that. But what he said about you and the MS…” Crash shook her head, her puzzlement and shock obvious. “My mother would wash out their mouths with soap if my brothers ever dared to say such a thing to me.”

Jill sighed. “I wish I could say he's not usually like that, but sadly, he is. We have never been overly close, and telling him I'm gay didn't exactly bring us any closer. He told me he could accept my being gay as long as I don't act on it.”

“How generous of him,” Crash said, hurling an angry glare toward the door.

Jill took several steadying breaths and tried to calm the raw emotions coursing through her. It wasn't just the anger toward James; she was embarrassed that Crash had to witness her brother's behavior. Jill had never wanted or needed a knight in shining armor to fight her battles for her, but a part of her had to admit that it felt good to have Crash kick out her brother and become so upset on her behalf. Her parents had never defended her like that when James started with his homophobic rants.

The funny thing was that nothing had even happened between her and Crash last night, no matter what James thought. Heat suffused her cheeks as she was reminded of her falling asleep in the middle of things. “I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault that your brother is a homophobic asshole.”

“I'm not just talking about my brother,” Jill said. She would rather forget about it, but she forced herself to continue. “I'm talking about last night too.”

Crash waved her away. “No need to apologize for that either. Last night was great.”

Her kindness only sparked Jill's anger. “Yeah, up until I fell asleep in the middle of making…in the middle of sex. I bet that never happened to you before.”

“So I'm expanding my horizons,” Crash said with a shrug and a grin. “Nothing wrong with that. It's not the end of the world.”

“Let's cut the bullshit, Crash.” She had never allowed herself any cop-outs and excuses, and she wouldn't start now. “Being left to take care of your own needs while I snored next to you in bed and then having to face my homophobic brother the next morning is not what you signed up for.”

“Like I told you before, as a stuntwoman, I have learned to roll with the punches.”

Jill shook her head. “You shouldn't have to. Adjusting is what people in a relationship have to do. Not someone who's having a sexual fling.”

Crash clamped her teeth onto her bottom lip as if holding back what she really wanted to say. “God, Jill. You hold yourself to damn high standards. Doesn't it get exhausting?”

You have no idea.
Jill rubbed her forehead.

“Listen,” Crash said when Jill didn't answer. “Things like that happen, especially if you work long hours and have to deal with fatigue. It's not a big deal.”

“Maybe it is to me,” Jill whispered, talking more to herself than to Crash.

“So, what do you want to do?” Crash asked. “End things just because you can't stand having me see you weak, even for a moment?”

The words shocked Jill into silence for a moment. “No. I… It's not about…” She drilled her fingernails into her palms. Dammit. Crash was right. She'd always hated for anyone to see her weak, but with Crash it was even worse—maybe because what Crash thought of her mattered more than anyone else's opinion. “No,” she finally got out. “No. I never said I wanted to end it now. I just… I want you to know that it wasn't you. I still find you desirable. It's just… It was a long week, and I was pretty tired.”

“It's okay,” Crash said softly. “Really. You don't have to explain yourself.”

Her easy acceptance felt good, especially since it was the opposite of what she got from her family, but at the same time, Jill hated that it was necessary.

Crash nudged her. “If it makes you feel better, you could give me another rain check.” She gave Jill one of her sexy grins.

She couldn't help returning it with a smile of her own. “You want me to make you out a rain check on sex?” She mimicked writing a note. “Good for one orgasm?”

Crash laughed, and a bit of the carefree mood that Jill always enjoyed in Crash's presence returned. “At least one,” she said, the seductive timbre of her voice making Jill shiver in the best of ways. “But how about we start with breakfast?”

Breakfast sounded good. It seemed she needed all the energy she could get. “All right. Since I couldn't keep my promise of dessert last night, the least I could do is make you pancakes.”

“You said you weren't much of a cook. Do you know how to make pancakes?” Crash asked.

Jill smirked. “You're about to find out.”