Authors: Audrey Carlan
***
I woke feeling hot. I was surrounded by warmth on all sides. Nuzzled into my chest were two dark heads. One had bright hues of chestnut and gold hair, layered over my naked chest with her cheek to my heart. Right where she should be.
Another smaller head with short hair was lying on my other side. Little puffs of air escaped his small pout. A drop of drool coated my chest under his tiny mouth. At some time in the night, Tanner must have crawled into bed with us. Thank God Camille had enough sense to have me put on a pair of boxers. She wore knickers and one of my t-shirts. Currently my large hand was firmly planted on her rounded arse. I gave a little squeeze and she rocked her hip into my side. Her thigh rubbed along my morning wood delectably. If Tanner wasn’t here I’d do something about that.
That would be something I’d need to get used to. What was the term my friends with kids used? Ah, cock-blocking. I snickered softly now fully appreciating their endearment when they called their children “CBs.”
As I studied Camille’s face in the soft golden light of morning I fell more in love with her. She was impossibly beautiful. I watched her sleep and saw my future. With Tanner and potentially our wee one if that came to fruition. In the past I may have been more worried about an unplanned pregnancy. For some reason, being here with my girl, holding onto her, an arm around her boy I felt content. Blissfully and utterly happy in life. A foreign feeling but one I’d go to great lengths to keep.
Camille was a mystery, one I would thoroughly enjoy solving. I could have easily read the report my private investigator sent, detailing everything about her life. He was good at his job. Would have left no stone unturned but I rather appreciated peeling back the layers of this fickle bird more and more. The bits of information she shared, finding out about Tanner, all added to her appeal. She wasn’t the average young woman in her twenties. Camille was an old soul. She’d been through a lot and it gave her a maturity others her age didn’t have.
Looking at Tanner sleeping peacefully against my chest, his hand clasped over his mother’s on my sternum was one of the most startling sites. I wanted this. A family. People counting on me for affection, comfort and love. Watching them sleep I was filled with a sense of protectiveness. These were now my charges. Camille and Tanner would be my family. Sooner rather than later. When I knew what I wanted I didn’t dabble in insecurity or uncertainty. No, I jumped--risks be damned.
It had worked smashingly well for Stone, Walker & Associates. I had to believe with my whole heart that it would work with these two priceless souls.
Through my musings the little guy had woken and was now staring at me.
“Mr. Nate? Why is your pee pee standing up so big?”
I laughed, jostling Camille. She woke and rubbed her head along my chest like a baby kitten, stretching against my side forcing my “pee pee” to harden further.
“Whoa, it just got even bigger!” Tanner said, his eyes staring at the huge erection I was sporting through my boxers and the sheet covering my lower half.
“Tanner, baby, what are you doing here?”
Tanner’s little hand went to grab my prick. “Can I feel it?” He asked in awe.
I flung my hand over my dick and pressed away from his reach. “No, little man. You can’t. You never touch a bloke’s wanker.”
His eyebrows crunched up. “What’s a wanker?”
Camille laughed into my chest. I was glad someone thought this was funny. I was mortified. I took a deep breath and laid back down. He sat up cross legged next to me, waiting patiently. Camille chuckled again.
“You gonna help me out here?” I asked her.
“With boy parts?” She sounded shocked and shook her head.
I ruffled a hand through my hair and sighed. “Okay sport. Here goes it. When a boy…er a
man
wakes up in the morning, sometime his ‘pee pee’,” I used his word, “gets hard and stands up. It’s normal and will go down in a few minutes.”
He grabbed his lips with his hand and pinched them together, seeming to chew on what I’d said. “So will my pee pee get big like yours? He stood up and pulled down his pants to show me his wanker. “See mine is little and yours is huge!”
“Tanner!” Camille scolded.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Put that thing away. You never show your private parts unless it’s to a doctor, your Mum or me. And only me if it hurts or I’m helping you with a bath, okay?”
He nodded and jumped down from the bed. “I’m starving, Mommy. Can I have cereal?” Discussion over apparently. Would I ever get used to kid-speak? I hoped to hell I would.
Camille sat and pulled her hair off her neck. “Uh, honey I don’t know. We’ll see what Mr. Nate has okay.”
I cringed. I didn’t have cereal. Never had a taste for it but if I was going to have the lad here I’d need to make some provisions. Maybe I could have Emma help? Camille got up and pulled on her jeans from yesterday hiding her sweet arse. I groaned and she winked at me over her shoulder. I’d had her so many different ways last night it was a wonder she could walk.
“Come on Tan Man. Let’s find something and get going home. I need to get ready for work. I’m going to be late.” She sounded worried.
I got out of bed, pulled on my jeans and went after her, bare-chested. “You have your clothes here?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, but I need to take him back to Jin.”
“I can do that. And you can walk to work. You know how close AIR Bright is.” I hugged her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to burden you--”
I cut her off with a kiss. The giggling behind us stopped me from deepening the kiss. I cupped her cheeks and winked at the little guy happily waiting at the bar for breakfast. “I want to. It will give me time to get to know the lad,” I added.
At that statement she melted, the line on her forehead disappeared and her features softened. I kissed her once more. “Go get ready for work. I’ll feed Tanner.”
“You sure?” She seemed uncertain.
“Sport, tell your mum to get ready for work. Us men can get to cooking breakfast.” I puffed my chest and hit it with my fists.
“Yeah Mommy. Get going. Mr. Nate and I got this.” He clapped his hands together.
I cooked him a plate of eggs and fruit. He gobbled them up so fast I worried he’d be sick but his Mum said that’s the way he always ate…with gusto. I liked that. Made me feel good that he liked the meal. I kissed his Mum goodbye and then dressed in a dark suit. I let him pick out a tie. He enjoyed my tie rack immensely, saying over and over that he couldn’t believe how many I had. Finally he picked a deep red one that went well with the suit and crisp white shirt I chose.
As I was tying the knot, he sat on the bed, his little head down, deep in thought.
“What’s up, sport?”
He looked at my suit and then down again. “I want to be like you,” he said.
I got down on one knee in front of him and ruffled his hair. He looked up, a quiet sadness in his eyes. “How so?”
“I like your clothes. Never had clothes like that.”
He gave me an idea. “Would you like to go to work with me today? My law office?”
Tanner’s face lit and a bright smile replaced the frown. He nodded fast and repeatedly.
“Right then. We best get you the proper attire. Come now. Let’s get you a suit.”
His eyes widened and he grabbed my hand. Tanner’s hand was pint sized compared to mine and that over-protective feeling swept through me again. “For real?” he asked in that sweet boy timber.
“Yes. Let’s go.”
I called Emma on the way to the car park. She told me where to go to purchase children’s attire. Apparently Ralph Lauren had a children’s line, which included very manly mini-sized suits for wee ones. We had a smashing time working with the sales attendant, finding him just the right suit. It looked so similar to mine, he could be my own son. The thought warmed me and gave me a gushy feeling I’d experienced a lot lately.
We entered Stone, Walker & Associates hand in hand. Emma’s mouth dropped to the floor.
“And who is this little fella?” She crouched, her dark hair swinging over her shoulder.
“I’m Tanner,” he answered, then cowered into my leg just enough that I could feel his nervous energy.
Emma smiled. “And who is your Mummy?” she asked, her English accent thicker than mine or Collier’s since we’d been in the states for years and she’d just arrived months before. Tanner’s eyebrows scrunched together and he looked up at me. “What’s a mummy?”
I laughed. “Well, it’s a dead body that’s been wrapped for preservation.” His eyes widened.
“I don’t have any mummys. Sorry,” he answered deadpanned. I bit my tongue not to laugh out loud. Emma chuckled.
“Well, isn’t he just precious,” she said and eyed me speculatively.
“Sport, she means who is your mom. Camille Johnston is his mother, or mum, as we say in England.” Tanner nodded and Emma’s eyes widened.
“When the conversation went crazy at lunch the other day and she mentioned being pregnant, the two never connected.” She shook her head. “Well it’s lovely to meet you, Tanner. I really like your Mum.”
“She’s the prettiest and nicest Mommy in the whole world.” He smiled. “And she likes to kiss and sleep with Mr. Nate a lot!” he continued not realizing the bit of gossip he’d provided my sibling who would later torture me with it.
I smacked my forehead. Now I knew why Camille did this gesture so often in his presence. “What Tanner means is…”
Emma just laughed and waved it off. “No explanation needed. But this is too good. I can’t wait to find out what Mum has to say.”
My hackles rose and I placed a hand on her shoulder. “Leave it be. This is new and Camille scares easily. Last thing I need is Mum getting involved.” Besides, I was keeping Mum in the loop to some extent. No need for her to know about stay overs.
Emma bit her lip and tilted her head to the side. She looked at Tanner then at me. “Fine. I won’t meddle. You guys look adorable though. Let me take a picture.” She pulled out her iPhone and I placed Tanner in front of me, my hands on both his shoulders. We both smiled wide and she captured the image.
“Send me a copy. While you’re at it. Have a couple copies printed and framed. I want that on my desk at work and one for Camille as a surprise.” I pulled out my phone and sent her the image of the three of us together and the one of just Camille. “I just sent you two more. I’d like the same. Make sure the framed images are visible on my desk.”
Emma’s shook her head and put a hand on her hip. “Wow, you’re…I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be smitten. It’s really quite fabulous.”
“Don’t you have work to do? Tanner and I have lots to do today. Right, sport?”
His eyes lit at the mention of his name and he nodded excitedly. He was a really great kid. Kept quiet and only spoke when spoken to unless he was at home or in an environment that was familiar. Camille had done a wonderful job raising the boy alone.
She shouldn’t have been alone. Tyler should have taken care of his responsibility. It seemed everyone had been right about the bloke. He was nothing but a womanizing bastard. I’d yet to deal with him but that would have to come. I needed to set the record straight and he needed to know he had a son.
Chapter 14
Nothing prepared me for the vision that entered the office at closing time. Nate strode in holding Tanner’s hand. They were both dressed in matching suits and smiles. If anyone had seen them, they would have assumed it was a proud father with his son.
I stood with my mouth open, taking in their matching attire.
“You look amazing.” I whispered, my gaze eating up every inch of one the loveliest images.
“Mommy! Mr. Nate took me to work today. He’s a liar!” he said happily.
Nate laughed and leaned against my desk. Full belly guffaws wracked his tall muscled frame.
“Tanner, it’s lawyer, not liar,” I corrected, sighing. Nate still laughed hard.
“Mommy, mommy. Guess what I did?” He didn’t let me answer. “I went to work. I saw Mr. Nate’s office. He has this big window.” Tanner stretched his arms out as wide as he could. “It’s like a wall. And you could see the whole wide world!” he squealed, bouncing up and down. “He even let me color on the whole window with light highters!”
“Highlighters, sport.” Nate smiled.
“Yeah! Light highters! I had yellow, and green, and pink and blue! And I color-did all over the window wall! We took a picture you have to see.” He tugged Nate’s pocket and dug his hand in. He pulled out Nate’s cell phone with no regard for personal boundaries. I worried my lip as Nate clicked a couple buttons and showed me the screen. As clear as day, you could see Tanner in front of his wall of art and the buildings and horizon through the glass. It seemed as though he traced the shapes of the skyscrapers with the bright colors. I was impressed that Nate would be so comfortable letting Tanner deface his office.
Tanner moved from foot to foot until I told him it was amazing. I loved watching his exuberance. Nate put his hand on the boy’s head. Tanner calmed then looked up at Nate with an adoring smile across his little face. He was falling in love with Nate the same way I had.
“The lad was very helpful actually. He went to court with me, held my briefcase which was a very important job.” Tanner nodded excitedly. “He sat perfectly quiet while I pleaded a case. We had lunch.”
“We had the bestest ever tacos ever Mommy! I love tacos! And I met his brother. I forgotted his name, but he talked funny like Mr. Nate and gave me ice cream!”
Nate laughed and pulled me into his chest. “Sorry I didn’t tell you I had him for the day, but I couldn’t bring myself to take him home. I did stop by your apartment to tell Jin I was keeping him for the day. She was surprised but okay with it. We wanted to surprise you. ”
“I am surprised, that’s for sure. I can’t believe you did this! You know he’s going to get so attached…” I warned. I really wasn’t sure how connected Nate wanted to be with Tanner. Sure he said he loved me but I was a package deal. There was never going to be an “us” without Tanner included.