Kaleidoscope Eyes (47 page)
Authors: Karen Ball
Annie blinked back the tears burning at her eyes. “But how do I know … ?”
“All you need do, child, is look at what God created through
you.” Gentle hands turned Annie toward the window. “Truly look, with your heart as well as your eyes. And you’ll sense, as we do, God’s utter delight in what you do.”
“All of what you do.”
Mark Heller’s assertion was rock solid. He stood there, his wife at his side, his daughter in his arms. “I shudder to think what would have happened to our family if you and Kodi hadn’t been there when we needed you. That man—” he threw a disgusted look Ryan’s direction—“was either a fool or a liar.”
“They’re right, Annie.” Belief in her shone in Jed’s eyes.
And in Killian’s. “You’re doing what you were meant to do, Annie. Don’t let anyone, especially me, make you doubt that.”
“Hey, sis. I need to go to the station with these guys, but I wanted to check on you first.” Concern clouded Dan’s features. “Are you okay?”
Annie looked at her brother, then at the others surrounding her. Love and respect looked back, embracing her, erasing any power Ryan’s words—or the voice—held.
Peace flowed through her, easing her spirit, lifting her mouth into a warm smile. “Yes, I’m fine.”
Jed slipped his arms around her. “I’ve always thought so.”
She poked him with an elbow. “You know what I meant.”
“Well—” Dan started toward the front door—“I’m on my way then. Looks like you’re in good hands.”
Annie couldn’t argue with that. And as far as she was concerned, she planned to stay in them. For a very long time.
“People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.”
E
LISABETH
K
UBLER
-R
OSS
“For you are a holy people, who belong to the L
ORD
your God.”
D
EUTERONOMY
7:6
I
t was nearly nine o’clock that night when Dan finally returned to Annie’s home. It was clear he could tell from Annie’s expression that she wanted a full debriefing, so they all gathered in the living room.
As they did so, Dan touched Killian’s arm. “Look … I’m sorry. I was way off base.”
“Not so far. Ryan and I, we’re similar in a lot of ways. And I have been the one spouting off about Annie quitting search and rescue—”
“—and talking about how she was wasting her gift,” Shelby added.
Jayce nodded. “And I heard you say a couple times that you didn’t like Kodi—”
“Fine!” Killian held up his hands. “Ample evidence against me. I get it.” He cast a pained look to the ceiling. “I’m
so
misunderstood.”
It felt good to laugh in the face of all that had happened.
Kodi followed them into the living room, circling at Annie
and Jed’s feet after they sat on the couch, then plopping down with a heavy, contented sigh.
“I have to know—” Annie couldn’t wait a moment longer—“what made you so sure poor Killian took Amberly?”
Dan pulled some folded papers from his shirt pocket and handed them to Annie. She unfolded them—and understood.
The drawing was childish but startlingly accurate.
“Obviously it’s not a detailed sketch.”
Annie studied the drawing. “No, but it’s enough. The short, gray and silver hair. Those round glasses. Even the wide smile.” She laid the drawing in her lap. “It would have made me think of Killian too.”
“Well, trust me—” Killian gave an exaggerated sigh—“next time I hire an assistant I’ll be sure he looks nothing like me.”
Dan took Shelby’s hand in his. “Once we got Ryan to the station, he couldn’t talk fast enough. Believe it or not, Annie, he’s the one who made sure Jed found out about you.”
Jed stiffened. “What?”
“Oh dear.” Killian grimaced. “I’m afraid that’s my fault. I heard about
Everyday Heroes
on my last trip to LA. You know, when I was a consultant for one of those home decorating shows. Their sound stage was right next to yours, Jed. The crew couldn’t stop talking about your show, what a success it was becoming. So I went along with them to watch you working on an episode. I was so impressed that I told Ryan all about it.”
Dan nodded. “He must have figured Jed would be the perfect tool for broadcasting Annie’s failure. He figured she’d be so distraught when they didn’t find Amberly that she’d leave search and rescue, and he’d have what he wanted.”
“Annie.” There was murder in Jed’s one, dark word.
“And her art. Fortunately, he’ll go away for a good long time. The penalty for kidnapping is severe, but you add cyber stalking and using the U.S. mail for one of his poison letters … well, he’s not going to bother you again, Annie.”
Shelby hooked her hands around her knees. “Looks like you’re on your own at the gallery again, Killian.”
Annie and Jed exchanged a glance.
“Actually, I might not be.” Killian looked at Annie, and she nodded. “What happened with Ryan prompted me to do something I’ve been considering for some time. I’m taking on a partner.”
Jed inclined his head. “Maybe.”
Annie’s family all stared at Jed.
“You?” Kyla’s wide eyes showed her astonishment.
“And Annie.” Jed took her hand. “The three of us talked it over after we got back from the church today. Killian can’t expand if he’s on his own. And we believe in his vision to find and feature new talent in the art world.”
Annie leaned back against the couch cushions. “That’s not all. Andy called a few hours ago and told us he’s decided to move out here to ‘the sticks,’ as he calls it. He and Jed are going to focus their talents on filming some independent projects. And if we go through with this partnership—”
Killian took it from there. “They’ve agreed I can feature my star artist with at least one major showing a year.”
“And he’s agreed to add a viewing room to feature promising film projects.” Annie leaned into Jed. “Like those that will come from two certain somebodies.”
“I love it!”
Annie was caught off guard by Kyla’s enthusiasm. “You do?”
“Absolutely God’s taken all the broken pieces and put them together in a beautiful mosaic, blending your love
and
your gifts.” She lifted her water glass in a salute. “If you need any help with getting things set up, just call. I know a thing or two about running a business.”
Dan lifted his glass of milk as well. “All I can say—” he took Shelby’s hand in his and kissed it—“is it’s amazing how things turn out when God’s involved.”
Jayce’s gaze went to the ceiling at the mush, but his grin belied the action. “So, I’ve got a question.”
Annie didn’t hesitate. “Shoot.”
“When’s the big day?”
Jed leaned down to scratch Kodi’s ears. “The opening? We don’t even know if we’ll be buying the place yet—”
“Nuh-uh. You know what I mean. When’s the big day for you two.”
Jayce’s question was as unexpected as the warmth that surged through Annie. She slanted a look at Jed. “Well, we haven’t been dating all that long.”
Jayce wasn’t buying it. “Come
on!
You’re telling me you two don’t think you belong together?”
Annie chewed, the inside of her lip. She met Jed’s shining eyes, and the answer in those brown depths sent her pulse into double time. “Are … are you sure?”
Jed pulled her onto his lap, hugging her close. The playful action inspired Kodi, who jumped up and joined them on the couch, crawling onto Annie’s lap with a resounding
Arroww-oww!
“More sure than I’ve ever been in my life.” He kissed her, and Annie didn’t even care that they had an audience—or that she had a ninety-five-pound dog squashing her and trying to shove her head between the two of them.
When he raised his head, she was so breathless she couldn’t speak. She circled Kodi’s neck with her arms and hugged the beast. Then she took in the goofy grins on her family’s faces, and her heart sang.
Jed winked at her. “It’s up to you.”
“Well then—” Annie pushed Kodi off the couch and sat up—“what are you all doing next weekend?”
Whoops and cheers echoed through the room as her family jumped up and came to hug Annie and Jed. Kodi danced in a circle, tail wagging, head swinging back and forth, and let loose with a series of low rumbles and barks.
Jayce cracked up. “Is that an alert of some sort?”
Annie knelt on the floor and hugged the shepherd close. “If not, it should be. After all, she’s found someone very important. We both have.”
As Annie’s eyes met Jed’s, she blinked back joyful tears. All
these years she’d spent so much time finding the lost. But now she was the one who was lost.
And she didn’t mind one bit.
Funny thing, when she finally let go, finally stopped struggling to find who she was, she discovered the truth about herself. That God knew her, inside out. That He created her to be exactly who she was.
That Jed accepted her that way too—just as she was. No changes. No “fixing” what was different.
Just her. Annie. Quirks, oddities, colors, and all.
Who would have thought it? Letting go set her free. And now, at long last, Annie knew she belonged. Right here. Right now. Immersed in God’s love. And in Jed’s.
And she knew something else too.
It had been worth the wait.
Dear Reader,
Annie’s struggle in this book is a familiar one for me. I’ve always been a bit of the odd one among my family and friends. As the only extrovert—and I mean off-the-scales extrovert—in a family of introverts, I struggled at times with the differences between me and my parents and brothers. But the struggles didn’t last long. Not because I was so smart, but because my family was so loving. They may not always have understood me, but they accepted me. And nothing gives you a sense of belonging like being accepted and loved, quirks and all.
God understands that about us.
As I said in my acknowledgments at the front of the book, one of the perks in writing this story was that I got to follow our Rogue Valley K-9 search and rescue dogs during a training event. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time. Watching those dogs do their jobs with such unadulterated enjoyment and focus was inspiring. Seeing the connection between the dogs and their handlers was moving.
But you know what impacted me most? The flat-out delight the dogs exhibited when they found whomever was lost! These dogs went from down-to-business professionals to dancing and twirling party dogs. Of course, one handler suggested they were so excited because they knew they got food rewards when they accomplished their goal. But I think it was more than that. I think these dogs actually have a heart for bringing the lost home.
Imagine, then, the joy our Father must feel when He finds a lost child and brings him or her home. When He finally gets through to a lost heart that He loves and accepts, without hesitation. That we belong.
To Him.
Too often we forget that. We wander off thinking we’re on our own when in reality we have the very resources of heaven at hand. All we need to do is turn to the Father and trust Him.
All we need to do is come home.
Consider the amazing words of Galatians 4:4-7: “God sent
his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ‘Abba, Father.’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”
Abba. Daddy God isn’t just our Father, He’s our daddy And nothing delights Him more than when we, like the little children we are, run to him, holding out our arms that He may reach down and lift us, tucking us close against His heart.
Do you struggle as Annie and I have, with feeling as though you don’t belong? Do you feel at times that nobody really understands you, that you’re just … different? If so, rest in this fact: Abba understands. He accepts. He loves. And He’s there, waiting for you to come home to Him. He made that abundantly clear in Deuteronomy 7:6-7: “For you are a holy people, who belong to the Lord your God. Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure. The Lord did not choose you and lavish his love on you because you were larger or greater than other[s] …. It was simply because the Lord loves you … his own special treasure.”
Don’t wait a moment longer. Accept His love. Rest in His promises.
Come home.
In His Peace,
Karen Ball
What was the root cause of Annie’s feelings that she didn’t belong? Have you ever felt as though you didn’t fit in? How did you resolve those feelings?
Consider Mother Teresa’s quote from the prologue: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Why do you think people need to feel as though they belong? What gives you a sense of belonging?
Psychologists describe an “alienated existence” as a joyless one, an existence that will cost the one living it a heavy emotional price. Have you known anyone who lives like this? What was the emotional price that person paid? Have you ever felt alienated? What was the emotional price you paid?
Read Deuteronomy 14:2; Psalm 33; Romans, 8:29-31; and Romans 11:16-18. What do these verses tell us about where and to whom we belong? How might these verses make a difference to those who have been wounded by a sense of alienation?
What was Jed’s primary internal conflict? What was it about his father (or parents) that turned him away from trusting God?
How has your relationship with your earthly father (or parents) impacted the way you see, trust, and relate to your heavenly Father?
Read John 10:11-18; Romans 8:26-39; and I John 4:7-21. What promises do these verses give us about the kind of Father God is?
What motivated Ryan to do the things he did? Have you ever had a “Ryan” in your life who tried to manipulate you? How did you respond? What did God teach you through that situation?
Consider the following verses: Exodus 20:23; Joshua 24:14, 23; Psalm 106:35-36; Hosea 14; and Ephesians 2:1-10. Is there anything in your own life—ambition, money, family, a relationship—that could become an idol, thus coming between you and God? If so, what will you do to surrender it to the Master?
Many of us long to know God’s will in our lives but aren’t certain we do. How has God shown you His will for your life?
Consider the following story. What does it tell you about discerning God’s will?
A man prayed, asking God to tell him what His will was for the man’s life. God led the man to a large fallen tree at the bottom of a hill and told him to push the tree. The man did so. He pushed, day after day, and yet the tree never budged an inch. Finally, he cried out to God, “How can this be your will for me? I keep pushing and pushing, and the tree never moves!”
God’s reply was simple: “The tree isn’t supposed to move. I asked you to push, not to move the tree. My will was for you to be obedient, and in that obedience, to grow strong.”
Read the following verses: Genesis 6:8-9; Psalm 25:4-5; Psalm 119:105; Proverbs 3:5-6; John 14:23-27; Romans 12: 1-2; 1 Thessalonians 5:12-22; Hebrews 10:16, 23-25; 1 John 2:27. How might they help you as you seek to discern God’s will for your life?