Kane, Samantha - Brothers In Arms 06 (11 page)

Nat fell back against the seat again. “I don’t know,” he cried. “It was a stupid, foolish thing to do.” He finally looked at Palu, and there was genuine regret and confusion in his face. “I just thought…” He sighed again. “Hell, I don’t know what I thought.”

“Why do you need the money?” If it was for something important, something that meant life or death, then he could understand it. He could forgive them.

“Nat, he wants to travel,” Alecia said, blowing her nose. “He’s more than an amateur naturalist. He’s brilliant, Palu, really,” she said earnestly, begging him with her eyes to believe her. “He deserves the chance. The money, it’s ours. It belongs to me, my dowry. But they put something in the contracts, Nat’s father and mine, so that we can’t get to it until I’m thirty.” She slumped in the seat, as if she’d lost the will to convince him. “He’s stuck here with me,” she murmured, looking away.

“It’s not for me, Lee,” Nat argued passionately. “I would do anything to get you away from here, away from him. To give you the world. Anything.” He reached out and clutched her hand still holding the handkerchief. “We’ll find another way.”

Alecia shook her head. “No, Nat, we won’t. He’s got us and he knows it. By the time I’m thirty most of the money will be gone. He’s not investing it at all.” She wiped her nose. “He’s got it all planned. He’ll still hold the purse strings, and we’ll never be free then.”

Palu felt a strange pity for them. They’d used him abominably, but he couldn’t hate them for it. They’d done it for each other. He’d always known that it was all about Nat and Alecia, hadn’t he? Nat’s confession this morning about his inadequacy and his inability to take care of Alecia made perfect sense now.

55

Samantha Kane

“And your family?” he asked Nat.

Nat shook his head. “I’m the third son of a viscount, and not a well-to-do one.” He snorted inelegantly. “My allowance barely pays for the coachman.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help,” Palu said, and he meant it to a degree.

Nat looked at him incredulously. “Sorry? Palu we were horrid to even use you this way. You were more of a gentleman than you had to be, standing up with us. You’ve nothing to be sorry for. We are the ones who are sorry.” His look changed to speculation. “Why did you do it?”

Palu shrugged and hid his hurt under a polite smile. “You certainly gave me all that I asked for and more in the last two days. I could not refuse to return the favor.”

Alecia bit her lip and Nat blushed. “The last two days, those had nothing to do with this,” Nat told him roughly.

Palu laughed, and this time he couldn’t disguise all the bitterness. “They had everything to do with it. Did you plan it from the start, before you approached us at the ball?”

“No!” Alecia cried out, grabbing his arm. “No, we just wanted you, that was all.”

“I see,” Palu replied. “And when did your desire change?”

“Our desire never changed,” Nat told him sharply. “But I didn’t see the harm in scaring Colby a little. He’s already embarrassed by us among his pious friends.”

Well, that hurt, having Nat confirm that Palu was the equivalent of the bogeyman.

“When did you decide this?” That’s what he couldn’t figure out. They’d been together every minute since they’d met.

“Yesterday,” Alecia said softly, “when you were…indisposed.”

“Ah,” Palu said, amused in spite of everything. “Well, that will teach me to seek privacy at my own risk.”

The carriage slowed and Palu looked out to see that they’d arrived back at Nat and Alecia’s. After they disembarked, Palu bowed politely. “Thank you for an enjoyable two days.”

“Palu, please,” Alecia begged earnestly, “don’t leave like this, please. Come in with us. Let us talk.”

He couldn’t. Not now. He was too confused and too hurt. He was afraid what he might reveal. He shook his head.

“Tonight,” Nat said, his voice brooking no argument. “You’ll come back tonight.”

Palu smiled politely again and tipped his hat. “I have business that I have left unattended for the last two days that I must see to. I cannot make it before, let us say nine o’clock. Will that satisfy you?”

Nat nodded grimly and Alecia worried her lip with her teeth. Palu reached out and gently pulled on her lower lip with his thumb until she let it go. “Until tonight then,” he said quietly. He turned and walked away, cursing himself for the fool he was.

56

Love in Exile

Nat waited until he and Alecia were alone in their bedroom before he spoke. “I was wrong. I never should have suggested it. We’ve hurt him, I think.” His heart was heavy in his chest.

He hadn’t felt this badly since Alecia had cried and told him how much he’d hurt her with his constant string of lovers. It was when she lost the babe. They’d only known about it for a short while before she lost it. But when it happened, it had ripped a hole in both of them and they’d lashed out. When the grief passed, they had spoken of things that had long festered under the surface, and they’d been closer than ever before.

But Nat never forgot the feeling of desolation he’d had knowing that he’d hurt her so badly.

He stopped short, unable to breathe for the realization choking him. He cared. In spite of all his precautions, in spite of the warnings he’d given himself over and over, he cared for Palu, cared that he was hurt.

“Oh Nat,” Alecia cried. She sat down on the edge of the bed and covered her face with her hands. “I hate myself right now.” She shook her head and sobbed. “I never wanted to hurt him. He’s so sweet, and funny, and…and tender, and he
feels
, Natty, he cares. No one has ever really cared.”

Nat was torn. Should he confess to Alecia that he had feelings for Palu? Or would that open all the old wounds again? They were happy now, well, not now, but in their marriage, happy with each other. He couldn’t imagine not loving Alecia. She was his best friend, his most ardent supporter. She thought him brilliant and witty and exciting.

If he were to lose her love and admiration, how could he go on?

But he had to tell her. Secrets had no place between them. “Alecia,” he choked out.

He stumbled over to the bed and sat next to her, pulling her into his arms. He hugged her tightly and whispered fiercely against her hair. “I think I’m falling in love with him.”

Alecia froze for a moment and then she gasped and hugged him back. “Oh, Natty, so am I. So am I.”

“What are we going to do now?” he asked her softly. She had no answers, and neither did he. Once again Nat had made the wrong choices for them and hurt Alecia in the process. Would he never get it right?

57

Samantha Kane

Alecia didn’t like the way Hardington was looking at her. She glanced at the clock.

He’d only been here five minutes and she wished him gone. To hell, preferably. When Soames had announced they had a visitor she’d thought for one breathless moment that perhaps Palu had reconsidered. She was dismayed to find out it was Hardington. Ever since she and Nat had entertained Hardington about a year ago, he’d been hounding them to take him to their bed again. He had become a nuisance, and Nat had stopped being polite in his refusals.

They hadn’t enjoyed their night with Hardington, and they’d cut it short, seeing him out the door after less than two hours. He was vain and selfish, both in bed and out. Unfortunately they hadn’t known that prior to their invitation. He was handsome and charming when he wanted to be. He had not chosen to be so when he was in bed with them. He made demands, pouted when he didn’t get what he wanted, and cared nothing for Nat or Alecia’s pleasure.

“So you’ve shown Anderson the door, have you?” Hardington asked with

satisfaction as he sat down on the sofa across from her and Nat. “I rather thought his appeal would wear off quickly. One needs more than brute strength and curiosity value to satisfy lovers such as you.”

“What are you talking about?” Nat snapped. He’d hesitated when Soames had announced Hardington. He’d wanted the butler to tell him that Nat and Alecia were not at home, which had suited Alecia. But he’d decided they should see him and make perfectly clear that they were not interested in any further liaisons with him.

Hardington scoffed. “Please. It was painfully obvious when you left Wilchester’s the other night that the three of you could not wait to fuck one another.”

Nat stood abruptly. “I think you should leave, Hardington. And we do not wish you to come back, ever. I thought we had made
that
painfully obvious. But clearly you are too thick to understand my too-polite refusals. We do not want you. We do not want to see you. Do not come back. If you do, we will be unavailable even for conversation.”

Hardington’s face was tight with anger and something else. Jealousy? Speculation?

Alecia wasn’t sure, but she knew she didn’t like the looks of it. Hardington adjusted his seat on the sofa and crossed one leg over the other, resting his ankle on his knee. He ignored Nat’s dismissal.

“So you’ve developed a taste for the native, have you? He must be as good as they say.” The last was said with sneering sarcasm, and Alecia found her temper rising.

“He is a better man than you could ever hope to be,” she said heatedly, “in bed and out.”

58

Love in Exile

Hardington’s jaw flexed as if he were grinding his teeth. “He has a difficult time here in England, you know.” His tone was deceptively mild. “I’d hate to see it get harder for him, seeing as how he’s such a sterling fellow.”

Nat crossed his arms. “Now what are you blathering about?”

“I have it on good authority that there were quite a few members of the Royal Society, patrons and scholars alike, who did not support Anderson’s election as a Fellow. It was only Sir Joseph Banks’ intercession that assured his election.”

Alecia felt a chill and rubbed her arms. “Why are you telling us this?”

“There are several patrons of the Society who would not be happy to learn of Anderson’s rather unusual entertainments.” Hardington looked intently at both of them. “It would be wise for him to cease those activities if he wishes the Society to remain ignorant of them.”

Alecia almost laughed at the irony of the situation. This morning they had attempted blackmail and were unsuccessful because of their feelings for one another.

This afternoon they would give in to blackmail because of their feelings for Palu.

Certainly the God of justice had a wicked sense of humor.

“You wouldn’t dare try to tarnish his reputation,” Nat snarled. “The destruction of your own would not be far behind.”

Hardington’s laugh was genuinely amused. “I am not Anderson. He wears sin like a crown of thorns.”

“Meaning what?” Nat growled.

Hardington looked amused. “Come now, his dark, savage looks incline people to think the worst of him. You know it is true.” He held a hand to his chest and looked innocently at them. “Whereas I am the epitome of a well-respected English gentleman.”

“Why are you doing this?” Alecia whispered.

Hardington looked surprised for a moment. Then he smiled grimly. “I’m tired of losing to Anderson. He had a lover during the war, you know, a very pretty boy named William. William had a choice between me and that savage. He chose Anderson.” He took several deep breaths in rising anger. “And now you two.”

“Perhaps if you weren’t such a bastard, Hardington, someone would choose you,”

Nat said, hatred dripping from every word.

Hardington’s smile was malicious. “But more importantly he has cost me money. A great deal of money.” He leaned back and spread his arms across the back of the sofa.

“What money? How?” Nat demanded.

“I wished to invest in his little excursions to the South Seas,” Hardington bit out.

“Exploration in that area has turned out to be rather lucrative. He turned me down.” He frowned fiercely. “I would have made enough money to buy you both, and several more like you.”

Alecia felt the color drain from her face. Is this how others saw them? As whores to be bought?

59

Samantha Kane

“No amount of money would have made us choose you, Hardington,” Nat

growled.

“You are going to choose me,” Hardington informed them smugly. “If you want to save your precious Anderson, you will.”

Alecia bit her lip, horrified. God, she just couldn’t. She couldn’t have relations with Hardington now. Not ever. But for Palu…she cut her gaze to Nat who was glaring at the other man. He didn’t say anything, however.

Hardington laughed and got up from the sofa. He took two steps across to the settee on which Alecia sat and lowered himself down next to her, close enough that their sides were pressed together as he put his arm around her. He leaned in and kissed her on the neck, and she looked away, tears burning in her eyes. She supposed Nat would have to do it, too, to keep Hardington quiet. She closed her eyes and thought of Palu as Hardington’s hand began to inch up her thigh and he bit her neck none too gently.

Suddenly her arm was grabbed and she was ripped out of Hardington’s grasp and into Nat’s arms. She clung to him, relief swamping her. “Neither my wife nor I will whore for you, Hardington,” he said coldly. “My previous answer still stands. We do not wish to see you again. Ever. Get the hell out of my house.”

Hardington sighed. “I thought you might say that.” He stood and straightened the lapels of his coat. “But it was worth a try.” His smile was still superior. “However, I do not think you will turn down my alternative offer.”

“Get out,” Nat ground out.

Hardington snorted under his breath. “I don’t know why I bother.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh, yes I do. Revenge.” He walked over to the drawing room doors and turned to regard them. “He’ll leave soon, you realize. England does not agree with him.

If you stay away from him until his departure I shall not report your association to the Society.”

Alecia at first felt relief, but then the full impact of his words hit her. “Never see Palu again?” she asked incredulously.

“Palu?” Hardington appeared confused and then he barked with laughter. “Is he calling himself by some absurd native name now? How utterly ridiculous he is.” He nodded at Alecia. “That is correct, my dear. Never see—what did you call him, Palu?—