Kane, Samantha - Brothers in arms 7 (16 page)

81

Samantha Kane

“Where are you going?” Sarah spoke quietly, still lying there under the bedcover.

She’d been dozing lightly and wasn’t sure what time it was, although she knew it was not morning yet.

Both men paused as they were rising from the bed. “We were going to let you sleep,” Gideon answered politely. How she hated that polite voice. “We do not wish to disturb you.”

Sarah tossed aside her pride yet again. She sat up, clutching the blanket to her chest.

“Don’t leave me.”

Gideon looked surprised. She held out her hand to him. Hesitatingly he took it and slid in next to her, lying on his back stiffly. On the other side of the bed Charles slid back under the cover with her. “Sarah,” he said, and kissed her shoulder.

Sarah snuggled down under the covers and put her head on Gideon’s shoulder.

“Gideon.” He didn’t look at her, just made an inquiring noise. She became more insistent. She put her hand on his cheek and turned his face to her. She was on his left side. She could see that it took every nerve he possessed not to turn away from her.

“Thank you.” She raised her face to his for a kiss and he did pull against her hand then, but she held him tightly. “Please,” she whispered.

Gideon stilled and let her place her lips on his, but he remained passive. She didn’t give up. She employed all the lessons Charles had taught her. She rubbed her lips along his, licked the seam of his lips, nibbled his lower lip. Finally he relented and his lips softened. After a moment he took over the kiss, turning them so Sarah lay on her back.

He devoured her, kissed her like a starving man, and she fed him all the passion she had for him. His hands trembled as he held her and Sarah moaned at his taste and the rasp of his beard against her. The hunger of his kiss overwhelmed her. But she understood what it meant, the warm touch of another after a lifetime of that kind of unsatisfied hunger.

The bed moved and creaked and Gideon broke the kiss. Breathing hard, he looked over at Charles. “Stay.” It wasn’t a request. Before Charles could protest, Sarah tempered Gideon’s order by reaching over and touching Charles’ hip with one hand, pulling him to her. He came with a gentle smile, pressed against her side and slid his leg over hers. She caressed his bottom and leg and he made a noise that sounded like a satisfied purr as he nuzzled her neck. Gideon turned her head with the backs of his fingers pressed to her cheek and came close to kiss her again.

“I don’t want to sleep,” Sarah whispered against his lips, and behind her Charles chuckled while Gideon smiled slightly before his lips met hers again.

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Love’s Fortress

Sarah stared out her bedroom window at the early morning sun shining over the meadow. The grooms were bringing the horses from the barn. Those lucky enough to be released in the meadow were frolicking in the high grass. Is that what one called it?

Did horses frolic? It certainly seemed so to her. She couldn’t blame them for their high spirits. It was a glorious morning.

Sarah set her open palm against the window, feeling the heat of the sun warming her.
Let this be a good day
, she silently asked. But inside she knew it would be. She felt the smile curving her lips with smug satisfaction. She’d done it. She’d asked Gideon to come back to her bed, and he had come. And he had brought Charles. She was almost afraid of how perfectly happy she’d been this morning when she woke with the two men still beside her. They had both been asleep and she’d simply lain there listening to their deep breathing, feeling their big, warm, hair-rough bodies against hers. It had felt divine, as if the hand of a benevolent God had answered her morning prayers.

Sarah laughed. The situation could hardly be classified as divine. After all, she’d woken up with two men, one of who was most definitely not her husband. As far as Sarah knew, there was no church that condoned such behavior, not even the papists.

She turned from the window and was confronted by the rumpled linen of her bed.

She could smell the lingering scent of last night’s exertions. She bit her nail in indecision. Should she strip the bed? The maid would certainly find that odd. She shook her head. No, she would merely ask for new linen. Lord knew they had enough of it.

And even if the staff knew what had gone on here last night, they would not know with whom. They would assume it had been Gideon, and of course it had. But they would not know that Charles had lain here with them.

Sarah’s cheeks heated with her blush and she huffed in exasperation. For heaven’s sake, there was no else in the room! And she’d only thought it, not even said it out loud.

Why on earth was she blushing? Why couldn’t she control her embarrassment? It was extremely vexing to know that every illicit thought was reflected in cheeks as red as cherries.

Sarah stumbled. She hadn’t thought about her birthmark once last night. Nor this morning as she had kissed Gideon and Charles goodbye at her door before the sun rose.

She could not remember a time when the mark was not on her mind in some way. But last night there had been so much more going on here than Sarah’s petty fears about her physical inadequacies. Gideon had needed them last night. His fears had taken precedence. And they had given him back something of himself last night that the war took away. Something Charles alone had been unable to give him, though he had tried 83

Samantha Kane

in different ways. But Sarah had done it with Charles’ help. Sarah had shown Gideon in the most basic of ways that he was still a man—her man.

Sarah fell back against her bedroom door with a huge grin on her face. She clasped her hands together and brought them to her chin, hardly able to contain her happiness.

This is what she had dreamed of for them. A marriage of equals, a marriage where Sarah was able to give as much as she received. Gideon needed her. He needed
her
. She was not a substitute, as she’d been for her younger siblings, filling in the void left by their mother’s passing. She was the woman Gideon wanted, the woman who finally gave him back a vital part of himself. His wife.

Sarah’s smile faded as she remembered there were more than just the two of them involved. What about Charles? What was he to her and she to him? She cared for him a great deal, she knew that much. He was a rock, and more and more she found herself wanting to lean on him for advice and support. He made her feel stronger, as if she could handle anything this new life threw at her. But he had refused to consummate their relationship last night on the grounds that he was not her husband. Sarah felt no shame in admitting she would have welcomed him into her body. Was the lack of vows between them insurmountable to Charles? Was he only in her bed for Gideon?

Which made her wonder yet again, what were Charles and Gideon to each other?

They were friends but not lovers. She believed Gideon. After watching them last night, even in the most intimate of embraces, they had not spoken, touched or looked at each other as lovers. And yet Sarah believed there was love there. But there was enmity too.

Why? What had happened between them? She was sure it led all the way back to the war and to Gideon’s injuries. They were bound together by that experience. Perhaps it was time she found out exactly what had happened to the two of them on the Peninsula.

Sarah nervously sipped her tea and watched Gideon and Charles eating silently as they sat at the breakfast table. The two men were very much alike in their morning routine. They liked to eat heartily, and they liked to do it silently. It was a trial. Sarah was usually brimming with ideas and plans for her day and felt constrained to sit quietly contemplating her china. She summoned up some courage from her rapidly dwindling supply and cleared her throat.

“Ah, Anders, I believe that I would like to talk with…with Mr. North, if that is all right? We are fine? Aren’t we?” she asked Gideon and Charles a little helplessly. She was not good at dismissing the servants. She really needed to work on being more authoritative. But Anders was quite, quite nice and very proficient at his duties. She didn’t want to offend.

Gideon put down his fork and looked at her. Then he waved his hand negligently over his shoulder. “Leave us.”

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Love’s Fortress

“Very good, sir,” Anders replied politely. He didn’t seem offended at Gideon’s high-handed manner at all, but quickly gathered up the tea tray, handed it to the footman and closed the door as they left.

“Gideon, really,” Sarah reprimanded him gently. “You must be more polite to the servants.”

“Why?” He seemed genuinely perplexed. “I pay them handsomely. I don’t feel the need to compound their income with unnecessary pleasantries.” He surprised her by taking her hand and kissing it gallantly. “Those I shall reserve for you.”

Sarah couldn’t resist teasing him. “I shall only get the unnecessary pleasantries? I consider myself duly warned.”

Across the table Charles laughed and winked at Sarah.

Gideon had the last word. “My dear, to me all pleasantries are unnecessary.”

Charles laughed even louder at Gideon’s remark. “I can attest to the truth of that,”

he agreed. “Gideon is tightfisted with his pleasantries.”

Sarah pondered that a moment with a puzzled look on her face. “Wouldn’t that be tightlipped?” she asked innocently.

Gideon grinned at her. “Touché, my dear.” After their laughter subsided, Gideon took her hand in his. His touch was still tentative, as if he was unsure whether she would welcome it. Foolish man. She clasped his hand tightly in hers. “Is there something amiss, Sarah?” he asked gently. “Are you all right?”

This time she was perplexed. “Yes, of course. Why do you ask?”

Charles leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “You did ask to speak with Gideon privately, Sarah,” he reminded her. “Would you like me to leave?”

Outrage and disbelief coursed through her at his question. “How can you ask me that? You know I do not. But I cannot ask to speak privately with you, Charles. Not even here in our home.” She pulled her hand from Gideon’s and crossed her arms. “I’m sorry that you think I would do so.” She shook her head. “I cannot.” The last was said in a whisper as the enormity of their situation hit Sarah. How hurtful it must be for Charles to be treated that way.

It was Charles who reached out first. He sat forward and stretched his hands across the table, palms up. She uncrossed her arms and placed her hands in his. “I’m sorry, Sarah,” he whispered. “I know. I understand.” And the awful thing was he meant it.

His understanding and forbearance humbled her. With a squeeze of her hands he let go and sat back. “Is this about last night?”

Sarah blushed and looked down at her lap, smoothing her skirts. “No, no it isn’t.

Last night was…” She paused and raised her head. How to describe such a wonderful thing as last night? She shrugged helplessly.

“Yes, it was,” Charles agreed with a grin. She looked at Gideon and he was smiling too.

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“Yes, well,” she cleared her throat. “I was wondering, Gideon, if I might ask how you were injured. In the war.”

Gideon looked surprised. “Have I not told you? I thought you knew.”

Sarah shook her head. She glanced at Charles and was shocked to see him pale and shaken. When he realized she was watching him he stood abruptly and paced over to the window, turning his back to them.

“It was at the fortress of Badajoz, at the second siege there. I was part of the Forlorn Hope.” Gideon spoke dispassionately, going as far as to pick up his fork to begin eating again.

Sarah gasped in horror. “The Forlorn Hope! Gideon, why? Why would you do such a thing?” Sarah had heard of the Forlorn Hope, the men who volunteered to be the first to storm the battlements. But they were men with nothing to lose, men who hoped to gain rank or influence if they survived. But very few survived. It was sanctioned suicide. She had not imagined Gideon among that group. Even hearing it from him she could scarce believe it.

Gideon merely shrugged. “For the same reason everyone does, I suppose. I hoped to gain rank and a fat pension from it.” He smiled mirthlessly. “The rank became a moot point, but the pension has been very useful.”

Sarah watched Charles grip the window frame tightly. There was more. What wasn’t Gideon telling her?

“You were a captain, were you not? In war, is there not ample opportunity for the advancement of a good officer?” Sarah could scarce wrap her head around the idea of Gideon being so foolhardy.

Gideon’s laugh was short and sharp. “If he has the funds or influence to purchase it, certainly. But for those of us who did not, then we had to earn it the hard way. We had to survive trial by fire to gain what others were given.” He was becoming agitated.

His voice was as sharp as his laugh. He tossed his fork down and it clattered against his plate. “I had plans, Sarah. Plans for the future that could not be realized on a captain’s pay. I did not plan to waste my life in the army. It was merely the first step.”

Sarah gripped his sleeve tightly. “And the Forlorn Hope? Was that part of your plan from the beginning?”

He placed his hand over hers, his anger visibly dissipating. He sighed. “No. But I reached a point…” He looked over at Charles by the window. “I realized that if I hoped to achieve the life I wanted, I had to take more risks. And I believed it was worth it.”

“The horses, the farm… This is what you dreamed of, isn’t it?” Sarah asked gently.

Gideon patted her hand. “Yes, yes it is.”

“Was it worth it?” She had to know.

Before Gideon could answer, Charles spun around to face them. “Are you mad?

Could anything be worth the price he has paid?” he asked harshly. He began to pace along the wall.

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Gideon was noticeably taken aback at Charles’ vehemence. “I believe it was worth it, yes,” Gideon finally answered quietly. He was answering Sarah’s question, but it was directed at Charles.

Charles laughed wildly. “Worth it? You
are
mad. All that you endured? For a horse?