Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 01 - Dark Horse (27 page)

“You gonna come by tonight?” The softness is back in his voice, and Dan wonders if he could record it and play it for Chris; get his help in determining the degree or likelihood of gayness. But possibly that’s a little impractical, so Dan just smiles back.

“Yeah, I think so. Gotta get cleaned up a little, but… yeah, I might come by for a drink.”

“Well all right, then. I’ll see you later.” He looks like maybe he’s going to say something else, but he doesn’t, just shuts the door of the truck and bangs on the roof when Dan drives away.

Dan heads out onto the highway that leads to the farm. It’s still warm out and he has the windows rolled down. He thinks about how easy the afternoon was. He’d made a friend. Made three friends, maybe, if he wants to count Donny and Nikki, and he thinks he does. He doesn’t know if Ryan is looking for something more, and he doesn’t know if he is himself. It doesn’t really matter. Maybe he’ll never see any of them again, and he’ll still have a good memory stored away.

He thinks about Jeff and Evan, and how awkward things have gotten with them. He doesn’t really know why, but maybe he doesn’t need to care. Jeff is great, and Evan’s sweet, and they’re both hot, but… Dan doesn’t need them. If they don’t want him, he doesn’t need to care about why, because whatever it is will just be their problem. He doesn’t know why they keep popping into his head, but he’s sure that will fade. Overall, it was a good day, and he drives through the falling darkness with a fresh sense of confidence and the idea that someday, somewhere, he might find a new place where he belongs.

Chapter 22

W
HEN
Dan gets back to the house he has a shower and pulls on fresh jeans and a moss-green button down. Justin had given him the shirt and had said it brought out his eyes. Dan wonders what exactly he’s planning on doing, and whether it’s tacky to wear a shirt Justin had given him, if he’s going out to do what he thinks he’s going out to do.

He thinks about Puppet-Chris again, wonders what he would say, and then laughs at himself a little as he picks up his phone and calls the real Chris.

He hears the phone ring a couple times, and then there’s a rattling sound and Dan pulls the phone away from his ear as Chris yells, “Danielle!” into the other end of the line. It’s three hours later in Kentucky, and it sounds like Chris is well into his Saturday night.

“Hey, man, are you out?” Dan asks.
“What? Hang on a second, man, I’m at a club. Let me get outside.”

Dan waits for Chris to come back on the line, wondering if he misheard his friend.

“Hey, Danny, sorry. It was a bit loud in there.”
“Did you say you’re at a club?” Dan tries to keep his voice neutral.

Chris laughs a little uncomfortably. “Yeah, well, some people from work were going, I thought I’d tag along….”
“To a club? Chris, man… are you looking for a new gay friend? Are you, like, a male fag hag? You can be honest with me, Chrissy.”

Chris tries not to laugh. “Straight people go to clubs, Dan. Don’t be so prejudiced.” He puts a bit of a lisp on the last word, but Dan can’t tell if it’s on purpose or not. Chris could just be drunk.

“Yeah, straight twenty-year-olds. Paint the picture for me, man… are you the oldest person there?” The silence tells Dan all he needs to know, and he laughs. “You gotta come out here, Chris. I’m going to a bar and grill tonight—big old fireplace, people drinking draft, live band playing songs using actual instruments, songs people over thirty will have heard of….”

Chris groans. “Yeah, that sounds all right.” He pauses a bit, then asks, “You going with Jeff?”

Dan thinks of what a logical question that is from someone in Kentucky, and how absurd it seems now that he’s in California. “No, man, I haven’t really seen much of him. He’s got his own stuff going on out here.”

“Huh… so, then, who are you going with?”

“Just meeting some people. One of the guys in the band was a waiter at the place I had lunch today. And that reminds me, man, the panini I had… it alone is worth the airfare. Seriously.” Dan pauses for a second, and Chris seems to know there’s more coming. “Look, man, I just wanted to ask… you know all those times you told me I should be hooking up… were you serious about that, or were you just saying it ’cause you knew I wouldn’t?”

Chris sighs, and Dan can almost see him leaning against the wall of the building, rubbing the back of his neck. “You got your eye on someone, Danny?”

“No! Not really. I just… you know, in general terms. Do you think it’s okay for me to start thinking about it?”
“God, Danny, it’s been well over a year with nothing but your hand—I’d be surprised if you could think about anything else!”

Dan snorts a little. “Yeah, okay. But, you know. Thinking about
doing
something about it.”

“And this isn’t with Jeff?”
“Jesus, Chris! Get Jeff out of your head. There’s nothing happening there. He and Evan are all wrapped up in each other, having some kind of intense relationship experience or something. This is… like I said, it’s mostly just in general, but any specific there is would be someone else.”
“The guy in the band?”
Dan is starting to regret making this call. “Shit, Chris, does it really matter?”
Chris’s voice is surprisingly forceful. “Yeah, Danny, it does. I know you think you’re all cool, and you can handle anything, but I gotta tell

you… you’ve softened up in the last few years. You’re not the same guy you used to be, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. So if you’re thinking of going out and picking up some stranger… I dunno, maybe the old you could do that with no problem, but I think the person you are now would regret it.” Chris waits for a comment, but Dan doesn’t know what to say. “I know you’re not looking for some big thing, but I think if you found someone you like, maybe someone you care about a little… then, sure, maybe it’s time.” There’s another pause. “Danny, you still there?”

Dan finds his voice. “Yeah. Sorry… I was just… I was looking more for Justin’s perspective. Like, do you think it would be okay with Justin?”
“Fuck, Dan!” Chris sounds angry, and then Dan can hear him taking a deep breath before he starts talking more softly. “Justin’s dead. He doesn’t have a perspective… He was my best friend, and I loved him, but he’s gone, and I can’t worry about him anymore. I’m worrying about
you
now.”
Neither of them says anything for a moment, and then Dan says, “Next time you’re at a club and you get a phone call from me, you’re not gonna pick up, are you?”

Chris just laughs. “Danny, I think you’ll understand how much fun I’m having tonight when I tell you that this call has actually been a highlight.”

“Damn. That’s kinda sad.”

“You’re telling me.” Dan can hear Chris’s smile. “Seriously, man, you’ve got better sense than you give yourself credit for. Just take things easy; see what happens—you don’t need to have a master plan for everything. You can see how things go; see how you feel.” Dan can hear the smirk creeping back into Chris’s voice, and he braces himself. “Remember, Danielle, if he really loves you, he’ll wait.”

“Yeah, thanks, I’ll keep that in mind. Look, I’ll let you get back to your club—I bet they’re about to play the hot new dance track everybody just loves!”

“Fuck you, Danielle.”

 

“Yeah, that’d solve one of my problems….” They’re both laughing when they hang up.

Dan looks at himself in the mirror, looks at the shirt, and can almost see Justin hanging over his shoulder the way he used to, his arms wrapped around Dan’s chest. He savors the memory for a moment, then unbuttons the shirt and takes it off, and hangs it carefully in the closet. He finds a deep navy Henley instead, and pulls it on. He has no idea where this shirt came from.

On a whim, he picks up his phone again. He tries to remember the barn schedule as he dials.
“Hello?”

“Hey, Robyn, what’s up?”
“Dan, hey! Not much. How ’bout you?”

“Actually, I was just going to go into town, get a drink and hear a band. You doing anything?” There’s a pause. “My treat….”
“Wow, Mr. Moneybags boss man!” Robyn’s tone is light, but the words still sting a little. Dan
has
been finding it a little awkward to be around Robyn now that he’s formally her boss. Back in Kentucky, it hadn’t really mattered, because they’d both been minions of the Archers. But out here, where Dan is more or less in charge, it feels… weird. But he knows that’s stupid, knows he just has to make sure it isn’t allowed to get in the way of their being friends. He knows that’s not the only reason he’s been avoiding her, knows he’d also had some urge to leave his painful past behind and start fresh, but he doesn’t like that idea any more than the first. Robyn isn’t a reminder, she’s a friend, and he should value her as such.
“That’s right, I’m a big spender. You in?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m just out of the shower, but I’ve got to get dressed. And if I’m gonna be seen with you, I might want to go crazy and put on a little makeup. Can you give me ten minutes?”

“Absolutely. I’ll swing by in ten.”
“Great! I’ll see you then!” She sounds really happy as she hangs up, and Dan kicks himself. Once again he’d let himself get so caught up in his own drama that he hadn’t taken any time to think about other people. Robyn’s new to the place, too, and Dan had checked that she was fitting in

with the other barn staff and knows that they’d all gone out for dinner a couple times, but he should have done more. He thinks of the Chris puppet again. It could be a tiny head with a big arm for slaps upside the head and a big boot hanging down behind for kicks in the ass.

He feels good about calling Robyn. It’s like an official proclamation that he’s not going out to pick up, he’s just going to meet some new people. He gets a little worried that Ryan might be offended but then catches himself. Ryan didn’t seem like the type to be easily offended, and Dan’s not even sure he’s gay. Hell, maybe he and Robyn will hit it off. But if Ryan is gay, and if he is interested… has Dan been leading him on? Is he going to seem like a tease? Dan checks his reflection again. He looks casual, but the Henley is pretty fitted. It’s snug across his chest and shoulders, and then just kind of clings to his waist. Dan’s always liked guys in Henleys… maybe they’re sexier than he’s giving them credit for. He swears to himself as he heads back to the bedroom. He’s changing into his third shirt, and he’s not even going on a date? Maybe he should call up Tat. They could do each other’s hair.

He throws the Henley on the bed and pulls out an old black T-shirt, faded almost to gray, with the logo of a saddle manufacturer on it. There— he’s officially a guy casually hanging out. He hears a knock at the front door and heads down the stairs, opens it to see Robyn.

“Hey! I know you were gonna come by, but I took less time than I thought so I walked over. Maybe I can sneak a peek at your place?”

“Oh, sure, yeah… it’s….” He grins a little bashfully. “It doesn’t really feel like mine, to be honest. So feel free to poke around the Kaminski guest house all you want. I’m just gonna go find my keys.”

He turns and heads down the hall, hoping his keys are in the kitchen, and Robyn calls after him, “Damn, are those new jeans? Your ass looks fantastic!” He pauses for a moment, but there is just no way he’s changing again. Especially since he’s probably making up the whole Ryan thing anyway.

They drive into town with Robyn filling Dan in on all the barn gossip. He’s surprised by how much there is, really, with only three other people, but he guesses he needs everyone’s back stories, and that takes a while. Robyn’s good about gossip. She keeps it chatty and light, nothing vicious, and Dan’s pretty sure that if any of her subjects overheard her they’d be more flattered by her interest than offended.

The bar is busier than it was the previous Saturday. Dan figures that he’s an hour or so later, and apparently that makes all the difference. Ryan is on stage, playing guitar and singing, and there are no tables or seats at the bar available, so Dan and Robyn order drinks and then stand around against a wall. It’s not ideal, but there’s a table that looks like they’re gathering stuff up, so maybe it’ll be available soon.

The band seems to play mostly covers, but they play one of their own at the end of the set and Dan tries to pay closer attention to it so he can say something about it to Ryan if he talks to him. As the song is ending, somebody nudges his shoulder, and he turns to see Evan standing there. “Hey, guys! You’re getting out a little, huh? We should have warned you that you need to come early if you want to get a seat. Sorry.” He glances to the side, and Dan follows his eyes to see Jeff sitting at a table, watching them. “We’ve got room, I think. We can borrow a couple chairs….” Evan seems a little vague, and Dan realizes that he’s pretty drunk. That would explain the unexpected friendliness.

“No, man, that’s fine.” Dan doesn’t want to speak for Robyn, but he also doesn’t want to impose on Jeff and Evan. “We’ve got a line on a table over here, I think. Don’t worry about it.”

Evan looks doubtful. “Are you sure?”

Dan sees Ryan working his way through the crowd. “Yeah, Evan, no problem.” Ryan arrives and reaches out and gives Dan a one-armed hug in greeting, and he feels like he’s in the middle of too many people. “Hey, Ryan, how’s it going? We just got here, but what we heard was great.”

“Thanks, man. Glad you could make it.” Ryan seems nice and relaxed, which is more than Dan can say for himself.
“Uh, Ryan, this is Robyn, a friend of mine, and maybe you already know Evan? He’s my boss.”

Evan is giving Ryan a pretty heavy look, and Dan has no idea why. He wonders just how drunk the guy is, especially when Evan throws an arm over Dan’s shoulder and leans forward to talk to Ryan. “His friend too.”

Dan heaves Evan off a bit and smiles apologetically at Ryan. “My friendly boss.”

Evan looks at Dan and seems to be working up something to say, but then Jeff’s there, and it seems like he brings calmness with him. “Hey, guys.” He smiles at Dan and Robyn, nods politely at Ryan, and then turns to Evan. “Our food just got here. You ready to eat?” Evan looks like he’s going to argue, but Jeff raises an eyebrow, and Evan seems to reconsider.

“Yeah, okay.” Evan looks back at Dan, then shakes his head a little and heads back to his table. Jeff smiles politely and follows Evan.