Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 02 - Out of the Darkness (43 page)

Evan grins widely. “I actually feel bad, doing it after you already apologized. Really, it would have been a lot more satisfying if we hadn’t already made up. Ideally, you’d be at full strength too… but, you know… it’s still pretty sweet.”

Dan leans over and puts the remains of the Frosty on the coffee table. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, then does it again. Okay. “Evan,” he begins. “I would really appreciate it if you would use your old boys’ network and your money to help out a friend of mine.” But then a flash of hope springs in his bruised brain. “But not yet!” Jeff looks up with interest. “Because Taylor’s looking for jobs on his own, and if he finds something that he likes just as well, then he won’t
need
your help.”

Dan wishes he had a rewind button, some way to take back his request, because it’s totally possible that Taylor
will
find work on his own, and then Dan won’t have to compromise his values, won’t have to let Evan win. Dan has to think about that for a second. How much of his resistance is actually morally based, and how much is just not wanting to let Evan have a victory? He looks at the assortment of presents around him and thinks of Evan buying them in the airport as he was flying home from his important business just to be with Dan, even though as far as he knew Dan was still totally pissed at him. Dan thinks maybe he needs to let go of the need to win. He thinks maybe he needs to try to be as generous as Evan had been. But he also thinks he needs to decide that with a fully functioning brain, and he’s pretty sure he hasn’t got one right now.

He sighs and leans back in the couch. “Dude, I take it back; Frosty or not, you
are
really tiring.” He brings his feet up to nestle under Jeff’s legs, but Jeff catches them and extends them over his lap, which is even better. Dan leans back against the arm of the couch and lets his eyes close.

There’s silence for a bit, and then Evan’s voice speaking quietly. “Do you want me to head out? Let you get some rest?” He sounds hurt, and Dan’s eyes spring open in alarm.

“No, dude… I didn’t mean it like that! I just…. Remember when you said you could sit quietly?” Evan nods, and Dan smiles tiredly at him. “Could we just do that for a bit?” Evan nods again, and Dan shuts his eyes. He hears a rustle of movement, and then something shifting against the couch, and he realizes that Evan has moved over and is sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch next to Jeff’s legs. Dan shifts his own leg over so it’s closer to Evan, and Evan leans his head back against it. It’s pretty nice, really. Dan’s not sure how long Evan’s ass is going to hold out against the hardwood floor, but that’s a problem for another time.

It’s not long before Jeff’s talking, though, and it’s weird that
he’d
be the one to break the tranquility, but Dan doesn’t think about that, just tries to ignore the voice, but then there are hands on his legs, gently shaking, and Dan gives up and opens one eye. A little.

“What? I’m trying to sleep, here.”
“You’re not
trying
, Tex—you’ve been out for almost three hours.”

“Huh?” Dan opens his other eye and looks around—the curtains are still closed, but it does look like the sunbeams that are slipping through are coming from a different angle… and Evan’s gone, not on the floor, and as far as Dan can see, not in the apartment….

“He went to get us some dinner,” Jeff explains. “He’ll be back soon, and I thought you might need a little waking-up time. Plus, you know—I’ve got to keep waking you up anyway.”

“Aren’t we past that yet? I really don’t think my brain is bleeding.”

 

“The doctor said forty-eight hours. You want to discuss it with her, I can book us an appointment for a checkup first thing tomorrow.” Dan scowls. “I wonder how she’d feel if she knew you were using her as the boogeyman.”

“I think she’d find it totally justified. I bet she could tell what an uncooperative patient you were going to be.” Jeff’s words are softened by the way he’s running his hands gently over Dan’s calves. Dan’s never really had a calf massage before, but he’s finding his first one pretty pleasant. Or maybe it’s just Jeff.

“Shit, man, did you sit here for the whole three hours? With my legs on your lap?”

“Evan brought me a book.” Jeff grins. “Actually, he had to bring me two, because the first one he found….” Jeff points his nose toward the coffee table, and Dan doesn’t even have to look to know that another Stevens has found his marked-up copy of
Conditioning t he Equine Athlete
. Jeff’s smile is a little wicked. “It didn’t really seem like something I’d want to read if I wasn’t in a position to take immediate advantage of some of its excellent advice.”

Dan groans. “I have
got
to find a better place to put that.”

“Bedside table sounds about right.” Jeff rubs Dan’s legs a little more vigorously now, breaking the mood. “Okay, ready to try standing up?”

Dan obediently swivels his legs around to rest his feet on the floor and sits the rest of the way up. There’s a bit of a head rush, and he’s still achy pretty much everywhere, but he can manage to ignore all that. Unfortunately, he
can’t
ignore Jeff, who has stood up and is hovering over him like a proud but anxious papa, ready to catch him if he falls.

“Dude, I’m fine! I’m not going to….” And he pushes up off the couch, but of course he’s forgotten about his wrist again and puts his weight on it as he lifts up. It’s not as bad as last time, but he still gasps in pain and lurches away, losing his balance. Jeff catches him, helps him straighten up, and somehow the man’s attempt to
not
look smug is even more aggravating than if he’d openly celebrated. Dan yanks his arm out of Jeff’s grasp, and before the movement is even finished he realizes how churlish he’s being. Jeff just stands there, and Dan takes a moment to collect himself, then turns toward Jeff and bends his neck, bracing the top of his head on the front of Jeff’s shoulder. “Sorry,” he mutters. “I’m an asshole.”

Jeff’s hand comes up and rests on the back of Dan’s neck. “Yeah, seems like,” he agrees. He lets Dan atone for a few breaths and then says, “Do you want some more Tylenol before dinner?”

 

Dan thinks about it. “Maybe wait ’til after. Once the wrist stops complaining, I won’t really be hurting too bad….”

They both turn their heads when they hear a sound at the door, and Evan comes in, carrying another huge paper bag. He sees them both looking at it, and shrugs. “I got pasta—figured you could just sort of suck it back without much chewing—but I didn’t know what kind everyone wanted. So, you know… one of each.”

Dan nods. Once you take budget limitations out of the equation, it’s a fairly logical way to buy dinner. Jeff gets plates and cutlery and sets the table while Evan unpacks the food, and Dan just stands there feeling useless. Then Evan pulls out his chair for him, and a part of Dan wants to protest, wants to remind them that he’s not a pretty princess, but they’ve both been really good about all this, and the pasta smells fantastic, and he can’t really make himself be bothered. Let them fuss if it makes them happy.

They all sample from the pasta dishes, and Dan can’t really manage the bigger types, but there’s enough variety with the easily slurpable kinds that he’s more than satisfied. Evan tells them a bit about what he was doing in New York, and Dan tries to pay attention this time, and it turns out he
can
understand most of it, even if he doesn’t have all the background information Jeff has. Jeff has some stories about people who’ve come into the gallery, and Dan feels like he can relate to that, too, can picture some of the paintings Jeff is talking about, can see how people would react as Jeff said they did. It’s a bit startling to realize that in spite of all the times he’s felt like an outsider, he’s actually been working his way in, getting to know these men and becoming a part of their lives.

He remembers what Jeff had said about them needing to spend some time together without just falling into bed, and he realizes that, as usual, Jeff had been right. Sex is great and important, but they’ve already pretty clearly established their compatibility in that area; it’s nice to have a night like this, to be reminded that in addition to attraction, they also share affection.

Evan suggests that they move out to his house, since Tat is out of town and Tia’s taking a few days off, and Dan thinks again of being in Evan’s big, perfect bed, and he can imagine the warm skin of Evan’s chest under his cheek, the strength of Jeff’s body stretched out behind his own, supporting him and making him feel safe, and he has no argument with the plan. Jeff starts putting leftovers away, and Evan and Dan go into the bedroom to pack up some clothes and toiletries for Dan. Dan ends up just sitting on the bed and watching Evan bustle around, and he glances over and sees the picture of Justin on his bedside table. Dan doesn’t notice that the action in the room has calmed until Evan crosses over and picks up the picture, running his fingers over the glass almost enviously.

“You two… you were….” Evan stops, as if realizing that there’s no need to put the relationship shown in the picture into words. Dan shrugs. “Yeah, we were.”

 

“It’s gotta be pretty hard to move on from that. Everything’s gotta seem….” Evan trails off. “Less perfect.”

Dan thinks about it and then grins. “I wouldn’t say we were perfect. We… we had some pretty big fights. And we spent so much time together—we’d squabble over stupid stuff too.” He looks over at Evan, and he knows his face has gotten more serious. “But we just… we always knew we’d make it better. We knew we wouldn’t give up.”

Evan nods slowly. “Yeah. That’s….” He flashes a grin at Dan. “How the hell did you get that way?”

 

Dan laughs. “Fuck if I know, man… but you know, it’s not impossible.”

 

Jeff appears in the doorway then. “You guys ready to go?” Dan slides carefully off the bed. “Well, are we? Did you get everything packed up?”

“Yes, sir,” Evan responds, and he carefully replaces the framed photo on the bedside table. He shoulders the packed duffel bag and follows Jeff out of the room, but Dan hangs back for a second, looking at the photo. He’d worried, at one time, that the feelings of love might fade, that he might forget how powerfully he’d felt. He finds that he hasn’t. He still remembers the love just as clearly, but it’s the pain that’s fading away, leaving the sweetness without the bitter. He picks up the picture in his good hand and smiles down at Justin and then starts for the doorway. There’s a little shelf built into the wall of the hallway, and Dan puts the picture on it. He’ll see it there just as often, after all.

Jeff and Evan are waiting for him by the front door, and they escort him down the stairs, Evan carrying the duffel and the paper shopping bag from earlier, repacked with at least some of his loot, Jeff shadowing Dan as if still worried that he might fall. They pile into Evan’s car, Evan driving, Jeff and Dan in the back, and Dan feels nervous, fidgety, and he spends most of the trip burrowing through the shopping bag, looking for he couldn’t say what.

They pull up in front of Evan’s place, and he turns around, smiles, and Dan blurts out, “I want this.”

 

Evan looks at him blankly and then looks down to the orange Dan has been playing with. “Yeah, dude, I bought it for you. It’s yours.”

It’s Dan’s turn to be confused, and then he grins self-consciously and looks over at Jeff, then back at Evan. “No, not… I want
this
. Us. I… I want it to work.” He nods at Jeff, then at Evan, and shrugs his own shoulders to include himself. “I want
this
.”

Evan just looks at him for a few seconds and then looks at Jeff as if for confirmation. He looks back at Dan. “Yeah, okay.” He smiles. “It’s yours.”

Epilogue

D
AN
wakes up early. He’s usually the first one awake, but if he lets himself go back to sleep, that’s it; he’s out for the rest of the day unless someone rudely insists on him rejoining humanity. Or politely insists on sucking him off—a much more pleasant way to wake up, really. But he can’t go back to sleep, not today, because he has responsibilities.

So he slips his head off of Jeff’s shoulder and slides out from under Evan’s arm and shuffles down to the bottom of the bed. It doesn’t have a lot of dignity, really, this part of their sleeping arrangement. He’s complained about this before, but Jeff had just smiled and nodded, and Evan had kissed the back of his neck, and they’d both snuggled in a little tighter, pinning him in the middle even more effectively than before. He guesses his dignity will survive.

The floor’s chilly, which is weird, because they’d spent the night at Evan’s, and Evan has the in-floor radiant heat…. Dan checks the thermostat. Ah. Evan must have been the last one to touch it, because it’s set at fifty-five degrees. Evan likes to keep things a bit cool; he says it’s better for the environment, but Dan’s pretty sure Evan’s just trying to get people to snuggle up to him to stay warm. He thinks about changing the setting, but he’s leaving the room and Jeff never seems too worried about temperature, so he leaves it.

He grabs his overnight bag and ducks into the bathroom. He runs the water and steps into Evan’s huge shower stall, letting the water warm him. If he was at his place or at Jeff’s, or even at Evan’s on most of the occasions he’d spent there, he’d be happy to wander around unwashed, in whatever clothes he’d managed to salvage from the night before. But this day is different; it’s the first time Dan’s spent the night with Tat at home. Well, except for when he’d been recovering from his concussion, but he hadn’t really been in any condition to do anything to get dirty, not then. The night before, on the other hand…. Dan smiles to himself as he runs his soapy hands over his body and finds a few sore spots. Pleasant reminders.

He dries off and pulls on jeans and a Henley, then sneaks the door open and peeks out into the bedroom. Evan has shifted over and is snuggled in against Jeff now, and Dan has to fight to keep himself from going over and climbing right back into bed, working his way back into his spot in the middle. Very tempting, but no. He has work to do.