Kathryn Smith (34 page)

Brave was tempted to agree, especially given Rachel’s penchant for impulsive decisions. “So Marion thought that if she didn’t give Rachel time to think about it, then she couldn’t do anything foolish.”

Annabelle nodded. “Exactly.”

“That’s the worst thing to do where Rachel is concerned!” Sighing in frustration, he raked his fingers through his hair. “Rachel makes some of her best mistakes with no thought whatsoever.”

His mother’s eyes widened. “Balthazar, this girl sounds quite unstable.”

He burst out laughing. “She just thinks she can fix things
better than anyone else, Mama. It’s actually very charming once you get used to it.”

She didn’t look very convinced. “If you say so. Do you think she’ll try to interfere with Marion’s plans?”

“I don’t know.” And he was ashamed because he honestly didn’t. In his gut he felt certain that Rachel wanted to stay with him, but he knew how she often acted without thinking.

“But I’ll tell you something I do know.”

“What’s that?” his mother asked, frowning at the determination in his voice.

Brave met her gaze evenly. “There’s no way in hell I’ll let her go that easily.”

“You could have at least told me you were planning to leave.”

Sighing, Marion leaned back against the cushions. “And would you just let me leave?”

Rachel scowled so deeply she could see her own eyebrows. “I’m not Sir Henry, you know. Is that why you didn’t tell me? You thought I’d try to stop you?”

“I thought you’d try to come with me.”

Good lord, had she truly been that bullheaded that her own mother had to resort to trickery to keep her from interfering? She thought she’d been doing the right thing.

“Mama, I’m married to Brave. Even if it were possible, I can’t believe you’d think I’d turn away from him that easily.”

“It’s not that I thought you’d turn away from Balthazar, dearest. It’s that I thought you wouldn’t be able to turn away from me.”

“What?”

Marion flushed. “You’ve spent so many years trying to protect and look after me that I was worried you wouldn’t be able to let go so easily.”

“It was a lot easier than I thought. I’m not certain I ever had a choice.” Scowling again, she added, “I might not always
make the right decision, but once it’s made, I stay with it.”

Her mother had the audacity to chuckle at that. “Yes, dear. I know.”

Perhaps Rachel hadn’t always made the best decisions, and perhaps the consequences weren’t always clear in her head when she made them, but her intentions were generally good. And for the past few years she’d thought of nothing but her mother and giving her a better life. And now she’d achieved it—or at least played a part in it. So why did she feel as though she was being abandoned?

Tears stung her eyes. “For years, I’ve thought of nothing but getting you away from Sir Henry, and now that it’s done you’re leaving, and I…” She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. “I’m not sure I know how to do anything else but try to protect you.”

Her mother stared at her, her own eyes filling. “And I’ve spent the last twenty-four years trying to protect you.”

Startled, Rachel stared at her mother, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands until her vision cleared.

“Now it’s time for you to look after someone else, and let him look after you. It’s what husbands and wives do. I think Balthazar will be good at it. He reminds me a bit of your father, you know.”

Rachel couldn’t help it. The dam burst, and all the tears she’d held at bay came pouring forth. She’d become such a watering pot lately! Lord, it felt good to let it all out.

Somehow, her mother had struggled to her feet, because she came to her and wrapped her thin arms around her.

“I’m so sorry, dearest,” she murmured against Rachel’s hair. “I never knew how much all of this affected you.”

“You laughed at me.” Rachel sniffed. How petulant she sounded.

“But not cruelly, dearest. Not cruelly. I only meant that I knew how stubborn you could be once you’ve made up your mind. And I’m thankful for that stubborness. Truly, I am.
Were it not for that I might very well be dead now.” Her hands stroked Rachel’s hair and lifted her head. “You’ve always been my little warrior queen.”

Rachel couldn’t help but laugh. Drying her eyes with the backs of her hands, she pulled away. “You shouldn’t be standing,” she said, once she’d found her voice. Sniffing, she accepted the handkerchief her mother pulled from her sleeve and soundly blew her nose.

“I’ll be all right for a few moments,” her mother replied blithely. “What about you? Are you all right?”

Rachel nodded. “Yes.”

Her mother smiled. “You’ll see, everything will work out for the best, as it usually does—thank heaven.” Her smiled faded. “I’m very sorry I didn’t tell you about my plans earlier.”

“I understand why you didn’t. I probably wouldn’t have told me either.” She sniffed. “I have no intention of trying to follow you, Mama. I don’t think I could leave him if I tried.”

Gingerly, her mother drew her into a soft, perfumed embrace. “I hope he knows what a lucky man he is, dearest. If he’s smart, he won’t ever let you go.”

Gabriel and Julian were waiting for Brave in his study. His friends hadn’t planned to stay for long. They’d only returned to finish the hunting trip they’d first embarked upon weeks before at Julian’s, and to see how Brave’s marriage was faring, but Sir Henry’s accident had persuaded them to postpone indefinitely their ill-fated hunting trip at least until this mess was resolved.

And it didn’t get any more resolved than death, so why were the two of them still there?

They were like two nosy old women, those two. It was a trait Brave despised in most people, but easily forgave in those closest to him. He couldn’t blame them for wanting to know what was going on, for checking up on him. He’d cer
tainly given them enough reason for concern over the last couple of years.

“How did the will reading go?” Gabriel asked as he sipped brandy in a chair by the fire.

Brave strolled across the room to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink. He opted for scotch, not brandy.

“It went well all things considered. The heir got the house and the title, Lady Marion got the horses and the personal effects.”

Julian let out a low whistle from his chair opposite Gabriel. “That should bring her a fair price.”

Brave drained his glass in one gulp. “She plans to take an extended trip with my mother. They hope to leave within the week if Lady Marion’s well enough to travel.” He poured another measure of scotch into his glass and moved to the sofa closest to his friends.

“That must give both you and Rachel some comfort,” Julian remarked, “knowing that Lady Marion will be well looked after.”

With a sigh, Brave leaned back against the padded brocade. “Speaking solely for myself, I do like the idea of Mama having someone with her when she traipses across the Continent. I’m not sure how Rachel is taking the news. Today is the first she’s heard of it.”

Something in his voice must have given away his concern, for both Gabe and Jules turned to stare at him.

“You don’t think she’ll want to go with them, do you?” Julian asked, his tone incredulous.

Julian always did have a knack for seeing deeper than Brave was comfortable with. “I don’t know,” he replied.

“What do you plan to do?”

Gabriel scowled. “What do you mean, what does he plan to do? He’s her husband. If he wants her to stay, she stays.”

Brave smiled at his friend. “I’m not that much of a tyrant,
and you know it, Gabe. I’d never force Rachel to stay with me against her will.” He gazed into his glass. “I tried to control a woman once before, and we all know how that ended up. I’ll not do it again.”

“So you’ll just toss her aside?”

“I’m not tossing her aside,” Brave chided. “I’m not doing anything yet. Rachel hasn’t even told me what she wants to do. I don’t plan to let her go without a fight, but neither do I plan to dragoon her into doing something she doesn’t want to do.”

Gabe was like a dog with a bone. “But she’s your
wife.
You made vows—”

“What I vowed was to protect her and her mother from Sir Henry. I promised to help her mother obtain a divorce. There’s no need of that now.” Brave swallowed another mouthful of scotch. It was true. He’d made a promise to Rachel, and fate had made it impossible for him to keep it. How did Sir Henry’s death affect his own hope to make amends for Miranda? Was her death still on his soul? And why didn’t the thought of her fill him with that familiar guilt? All he felt when he thought of Miranda was sadness.

“And so your vows mean nothing?” Gabe looked angrier than Brave had seen him in some time. “What of the promises she made you?”

Brave couldn’t help but wonder if Gabe was talking about him and Rachel, or something else.

Rachel had promised him an heir, but he didn’t want an heir. He wanted a child. His and Rachel’s child.

“I can’t very well expect her to keep her word when I couldn’t keep mine. It would be dishonorable of me, and I don’t want to behave dishonorably with another woman.”

“I really hate it when you hide behind my sister, Brave.”

Brave froze, his glass halfway to his mouth. Both he and Gabriel stared at Julian in stunned silence. Brave had never heard his friend speak with such vehemence.

“Miranda is dead,” Julian informed him from between clenched teeth. “Let her be. You weren’t the one who made a mess of her life. You weren’t the one who killed her.” He held up his hand as Brave opened his mouth to speak. “No. I don’t want to hear it.”

Wisely, Brave closed his mouth.

Julian continued, “You had every right to refuse to help her after the way she treated you. Miranda could have come to me after you rejected her. I would have done everything in my power to help her. There were a number of things that could have been done, but my sister was a foolish girl who believed her life was over because some blackguard used her and rejected her. Miranda alone is to blame for her death, and I am heartily sick of you wallowing in all this unnecessary, ludicrous guilt!” He tossed back the rest of his brandy.

Brave could only gape at his friend. “Julian, I—”

“You would have been miserable married to my sister. I know how much you thought of her, Brave. I loved her dearly, too. I still do, but even I can see her faults. You never would have been happy with her, and neither of you would have loved each other like you both deserved.” Rising from his chair, Julian went to the sideboard and poured himself another drink.

Astonished, Brave turned to Gabriel, who simply flashed a rueful smiled and nodded. “He’s right, you know. This has gone on long enough. You really must stop blaming yourself.”

“And just what would the two of you have me do?” he demanded defensively. His friends—his best friends—had sided against him, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Tell Rachel the truth,” Julian suggested. “Tell her that you love her.”

Brave stiffened. “I never said I loved her. Besides, I don’t know how she feels about me.”

“If you don’t, then you really are mad,” Gabriel remarked.

“That woman loves you. I can see it in the way she looks at you. And any woman brave enough to love a blighter like you deserves to know the feeling’s returned.”

Brave opened his mouth to respond, but Julian cut him off. “Tell her the truth about why you married her. And not that you-married-her-to-save-her-mother nonsense. Tell her about my sister.”

“She knows about your sister,” Brave snapped. “I told her about Miranda.”

Julian raised a brow. “Did you tell her you married her because of Miranda?”

Leaping out of his chair, Brave slammed his glass down on a table and whirled around to confront his friend.

“What do you want me to tell her? That I married her because I stupidly thought I could make amends for the past by marrying her? That if I helped her it would somehow make up for not helping Miranda?”

“Yes!” Julian cried.

Exhausted, Brave sagged against the back of the chair. “But it doesn’t matter now,” he said quietly. “That might have been my reason in the beginning, but it’s not my reason anymore.”

“She needs to know that.” Stepping forward, Julian placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Brave, you have to be honest. If you don’t tell her, this will always be between you, and she’ll always doubt your feelings.
You
will always doubt your feelings. And Gabe’s right. She deserves better. You both do.”

Brave knew when he was beaten. His friends were right. If he and Rachel were to have any kind of future, he was going to have to tell her the truth. He honestly didn’t know what he’d do if she rejected him as Miranda had, but he also knew he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life wondering what might have been.

Rachel had saved him from the darkness. She’d brought
light back into his life, and when he thought of his perfect match, he no longer thought of Miranda. He thought of Rachel. Julian was right. He and Miranda would have made each other miserable, but Rachel…Rachel made him smile. Rachel made him happy, even with all her quirks and faults. And she seemed to like him despite all of his.

“You’re right,” he announced with a decisive nod. “I have to tell her. I trust the two of you plan to stay on?”

Julian grinned and raised his glass in mock salute. Gabe followed.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I’m leaving.”

Frozen, Brave stood in the doorway between Rachel’s room and the dressing room and watched as she tossed clothes into a trunk.

Surely he hadn’t heard her correctly. “I beg your pardon?”

She didn’t turn. She didn’t even pause in her packing. “I’m going to Tullywood to oversee the inventory of Mama’s belongings” She sounded so cold, so impersonal. Not like his Rachel at all.

“Obviously Mama isn’t in any condition to do it herself, and since she wants it done before she and your mother leave, the task falls upon me.”

Something wasn’t right. “Surely you don’t have to stay there? Can’t you travel back and forth each day. It’s not very far.” Just a little over a mile in fact.