Katie's Way (17 page)

“For sure.” She quickly finished the center braid she put her hair in at night.

Rhoda came in, carrying two mugs of steaming cocoa.

“This is so thoughtful of you.” Katie took a mug and sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. “Komm, join me.”

Rhoda, looking like the little girl she'd been so recently with her hair in a braid, nodded, curling up against the footboard. “I thought cocoa would warm us up.”

“Gut idea.”

But Katie suspected Rhoda had more on her mind than cocoa. For a moment she was tempted to shirk her responsibility, tell Rhoda she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. That would be true, but it would also be irresponsible.

She patted Rhoda's knee. “You were such a help today. Denke.”

Rhoda nodded, but it was as if she hadn't really heard Katie's words. She frowned down at the quilt, tracing the scallop edging with one finger.

“You never asked me what I did that made Mammi and Daadi send me here.” Rhoda thrust the words out, as if wanting to get them away from her.

“No, I didn't.” Katie paused. Should she have asked? “It's not that I don't care. But I thought you should tell me when you wanted to.”

Rhoda pressed her lips together, and then sniffed a little, as if tears were not far away. “I want to tell you now. Like you told me about Eli and Jessica.”

That truth had been painful to share, but maybe it would have a benefit she hadn't expected. “I would like to hear, Rhoda.”

“I ... I went to a party with some older kids. There were Englisch kids there, too, and I knew they would have beer and that I shouldn't go.”

“So why did you?” Katie kept her voice neutral. Sometimes knowing what was right didn't keep you from doing something foolish.

Rhoda made a face. “It was dumb. But one of the kids dared me to go, and Louise had been lecturing me all afternoon about how I had to behave now that she's going to marry the bishop's son, and I just—well, I just went.”

“I see.” Katie did see. She wasn't sure she wouldn't have done the same, if Louise had been lecturing her. Which was a sad comment on her maturity.

“So, anyway, I didn't enjoy it that much. They were all drinking and acting stupid.”

To Katie's relief, it sounded as if her little sister had had the right reaction. “I think maybe drinking and acting stupid go together sometimes.”

“Ja. Well, anyway, I wanted to go home, but I didn't have a ride, and I couldn't make the kids I came with take me.” Her fingers clenched the quilt. “There was an Englisch boy . . . he seemed really nice. He had his car there, and he said he'd take me home.”

Katie thought she knew where this was headed, and her heart ached for her little sister. “What happened?”

“Just what you're thinking,” Rhoda said. She tried to smile, but tears glistened in her eyes. “He didn't take me home. He kept driving, and then he wanted to park up by the lake, and he wouldn't listen when I said I wanted to go home.”

Katie took her hand. “You must have been scared.”

“I was, but I was mad, too. He kept trying to kiss me, so I gave him a shove and got out of the car. And he said if I felt that way about it, I could just find my own way home. And he drove off.”

A completely non-Amish desire for vengeance swept over Katie. “I'd like to—” She stopped, took a deep breath. “That was a terrible thing, leaving you out there all alone.”

“Ja, but it was better than being in the car with him. So I started walking, but I didn't know how I was ever going to get home, and I knew how Daadi and Mamm would be worrying.” Rhoda wiped away a tear that had spilled over. “I had plenty of time to think about that while I walked, that's certainsure.”

“But you were all right? Nobody else tried to bother you?”

Rhoda wiped away another tear. “A car stopped, and I was scared, but it was two of the Englisch girls from the party. They said the boy came back and bragged about leaving me up there, so they told him off and came after me.” She sniffled. “They were really nice, and they tried to make me feel better. But all I could think was how disappointed Daadi would be.”

“I know,” Katie said softly. Somehow that had always been the case with her, too. The fear of seeing disapproval instead of love in Daadi's eyes had kept her from doing some foolish things, too.

“But it was the middle of the night when I got home, even so. And Mamm cried and said how I'd embarrassed the family, and Daadi was disappointed, and Louise kept lecturing me . . .” Rhoda's voice trailed off, and she put both hands over her face, surrendering to tears.

Katie pulled Rhoda into her arms, her own tears spilling over. Poor, foolish Rhoda. Of course she'd done wrong, but surely she didn't deserve being made to feel like an outcast.

“It's over now,” she said, holding her close. “Over and done with, and it will soon be forgotten. We all do foolish things, ja? Even Mamm, even Louise, even me.”

Rhoda looked up at her through swollen eyes. “Not Louise.”

“Ja, Louise,” Katie said firmly. “She's just being a different kind of foolish. Now, you dry your eyes and finish your cocoa. You made a mistake, but you learned from it. That's all any of us can do, ain't so?”

Rhoda blew her nose and nodded.

“Gut.” She patted her sister's cheek. “Now let's forget it, as if it never happened.”

Forget.
That was good advice for herself, too, if only she could take it.

 

 

Katie
spent much of the next day trying to avoid Caleb. At the moment he was in the cellar, mopping the floor, so she had sent Rhoda down to help him, saying she'd watch both shops.

Not that he had made things difficult for her. His attitude toward her seemed the same as ever. No one watching him could guess that just yesterday they had been smooching in a wet basement.

Fine. That was how she wanted it. If they could both forget it had happened, she'd be happy. The trouble was that she couldn't forget.

Annoyed with herself, she set one of the boxes from the basement onto the counter and pulled off the packing tape that sealed it. There was a perfectly logical reason why she'd been . . . well, maybe
vulnerable
was the best word. Yes, she'd been vulnerable to Caleb's kiss because she still felt adrift after learning of Eli and Jessica's expected baby.

That wasn't a very admirable way to feel, but it was better than thinking she'd begun to care for Caleb. She couldn't.

She jerked her thoughts away from that particular treadmill, knowing she'd just go round and round on it. Much better to focus on the work at hand. Mamm had packed this box, judging by her printing on the outside, and Katie couldn't think what it contained.

The bell on Caleb's shop door jangled, and she stepped away from the counter to see who it was. Not a customer who needed attention—it was Becky and Naomi. Seeing her, they walked through the archway to her side.

“Naomi, how nice to see you. And Becky.”

“Not such a nice weekend for you, ain't so?” Naomi came to clasp her hands. “What a thing to happen so soon after you moved in. Did you lose much?”

“Not as bad as it would have been if Rhoda and I hadn't gotten home when we did. A box of thread got soaked, and some fabric will have to be washed to see it if can be saved. Mostly it was just the mess.”

“And Caleb tells us that you and Rhoda were already moving his materials out of danger when he got here. That was ser gut of you.”

“It was nothing,” she said quickly. “He did the same. We helped each other.” She could only hope she wasn't blushing.

“Is Rhoda here?” Becky asked, looking around hopefully.

“Down in the basement, helping your onkel Caleb with the last of the cleanup.”

“I will go and help, too.”

Naomi watched her granddaughter head for the stairs, lips curving in an indulgent smile. “She means she and Rhoda will visit together until their chatter drives Caleb out of there, I think.”

“Probably.” Katie returned to her box. “It is nice of you to stop and see how we're doing.”

“Not chust that.” Naomi took off her bonnet, smoothing her graying hair back. “I will help, too. Are these things to be unpacked?”

“Ja, but . . .” Katie wasn't sure spending time with Caleb's mother was the best way to forget about that kiss. “You don't need to help. I think half the town has been in at some time today to see if we needed anything. Some of the other shops had a little water, I hear, but none as bad as we did.”

“Ja, I saw Bishop Mose out in the backyard with Sam Troy-er's crew. They will make sure the cellar doesn't flood again. But I want to help you.” Naomi pressed her hands against the counter, looking down at them for a moment. “It has been too long since I have done for others. Too long since I realized that God still has work for me here, even though my George has gone ahead of me.”

It felt as if she had squeezed Katie's heart with her words. “You have been grieving. Lonely. Everyone understands that.”

“Others are grieving, too. Others miss him.” Naomi shook her head. “I cannot use that to excuse myself. George would be ashamed of me.”

Katie put her hand over Naomi's. “I never knew him, but I am sure he loved you too much ever to be ashamed of you.”

Naomi's eyes shone with tears, and she squeezed Katie's hand. “Denke, Katie, for understanding.” She shook her head, as if to shake off her sorrow. “Now, let us get to work. Until you got me started on quilting again, I had forgotten that work is a cure for many ills.”

“Or at least it makes us forget them for a while,” Katie said, thinking how often that had been true for her. She glanced at the pieces she'd cut for the Lancaster Rose quilt. The challenge of making it might be a cure for her, too.

She caught Naomi's gaze on her face and managed a smile. “Well, this is a box that my mamm packed, and I have no idea what's in it. I should have unpacked it long ago, instead of leaving it in the basement.”

“At least no harm was done.” Naomi's words were practical. “Let's see what it is.” She pulled off tissue paper. “Ach, another quilt. Sunshine and Shadows, one of my favorite patterns. This should be out for sale.”

Katie couldn't find an answer. All she could do was stare at the quilt that had been unearthed, her stomach twisting in rebellion.

“Katie?” Naomi's voice was filled with concern. “What is wrong?”

She shook her head, trying to think through the shock of seeing the quilt. “I . . . I didn't know this was here. I thought it had been left at home.”

“It means something to you,” Naomi said gently.

“Ja.” She cleared her throat. She didn't have to say anything. She didn't.

But Naomi was looking at her with caring and concern, and the need to unburden herself was suddenly too strong to resist. “I made this . . . I made it for my wedding.”

Naomi was silent for a moment, probably filling in all the things she didn't say. “I'm sorry, Katie. What happened to him? Did he die?”

“No.” She would not let herself think that her situation might be easier if he had. That would be evil. “Eli and I . . . we had intended to wed since we were hardly more than children. I never imagined a future without him. We had set the date. Our families were planning the wedding. And then he came to me and said that he couldn't marry me. That he loved someone else.”

She felt as if she hadn't breathed in a long time, and she sucked in a breath.

“I am so sorry.” Naomi's hand tightened on hers. “Who was it? Someone you knew?”

“Jessica. My best friend.” She felt her lips twist on the words. “I never dreamed of such a thing. Maybe I was blind, not to see it coming.”

“They must have been very careful. Very ashamed, too, if no one else knew about it.”

Oddly enough, that had never occurred to her.

“If they were really ashamed—” Katie stopped before she could say something really mean-spirited. “Well, I would not want Eli to marry me if he loved someone else, after all.”

“No, you wouldn't, but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard to forgive.”

“I forgive. Really.” She shook her head. “But I can't forget. It still hurts. And now ...”

“Now this quilt has surfaced to remind you.” Naomi put her hand on it.

“Not just that.” Katie tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “My mother has written that Eli and Jessica are expecting their first baby. She thinks I should be happy for them. I know that I should, but I can't. I must be a terrible person.”

“Just a normal person, I think.” Naomi's voice was soft and comforting. “You said that I should not be ashamed of my reaction to George's passing. And I think that you should not be ashamed of your reaction to this hurt. We must chust each go on and do the best we can, ain't so?”

Katie searched Naomi's face, finding nothing there but caring and sympathy. This conversation had started with her comforting Naomi and ended with Naomi comforting her. Oddly enough, the words eased her heart.

“Ja,” she said finally. “I'll try.”

“Gut.” Naomi patted the quilt. “Maybe you should start by selling this. What do you think?”

Her heart hurt, but she nodded. “Ja. I think that would be best.”

T
he
cleanup was finally done to his satisfaction, but Caleb took a few extra minutes in the cellar to measure for shelves. He would build those for Katie, and he certainly wouldn't take any money for them. The very idea was ferhoodled.