Keep Me Still (21 page)

And that’s all that matters.

Reaching my hands up higher and placing them on either side of his face I stare into his eyes until reality shifts and we’re connected on a level that surpasses the physical realm. “I want to keep you always.”

He nods without breaking eye contact and something passes between us that bonds us even more than our bodies are about to.

“Oh God,” I moan as his thick, swollen head parts my folded flesh, stroking up and down from cleft to center and I almost lose it.

“You’re so wet, baby. That should help ease the pain, I promise.”

I can’t speak so I nod. I trust him.

A guttural sound tears from his lips as he presses slowly into me.
Oh my dear Lord in Heaven
. It hurts, worse than I expected. I’m consumed by the pressure of him, pinching and tearing into me. A pained whimper from low in my stomach pushes past my lips, and Landen freezes above me.

“I’m okay,” I try to assure him but I’m not really. His eyes blaze down into mine, but he doesn’t move. Something’s wrong. “Landen? I’m okay. Really. Please don’t stop.”

“Say you want me,” he says, ferocity changing his voice to one I don’t recognize.

I clench, desperately trying to cling to him as he starts to pull out of me, and I’m torn, in more ways than one. It hurt, but now that he’s been inside of me…I can’t stand the feeling of him not being inside of me. “I want you,” I tell him, need thickening my own voice.

“Say you want me here, Layla. Say you’re glad that I’m here.” It’s a plea and a command, and I don’t know where he’s going with this.

I’m turned on and scared at the same time. Why is he angry all of the sudden? Reaching up to touch his face once more as I wrap my legs around him, I do as he says. “I want you here, Landen. I’m glad you’re here.”
I love you.

And then I kiss him, needy for his mouth in so many ways. He groans again as he slides himself all the way back into me. I’m raw and aching, but when the tip of him hits that spot in me, every tense muscle in my body softens around him.

“Landen,” I whimper, his name straining out of me as I lift my hips until our hipbones chafe against each other. “Yes, please,
oh God
, yes.”

Harder. I’m ready for it harder, faster, but I’m not sure how to tell him, so I deepen our kiss, hoping he’ll get the message. I’m sweating and so is he, our damp bodies sliding against each other, and I wish this could go on forever. But I’m not going to last that long. My insides grip him so tightly it’s a struggle for him to move inside me.

“Baby, I need you to come for me, okay?” he pleads as he pulls back from my mouth. “It will last longer next time, I swear.”

I whimper because I’m there, now, and it’s so much more intense with him inside of me. My back is arcing off the bed so hard I’d be afraid my spine was going to snap if I could think straight. My fingers dig into his muscular shoulders, probably hurting him, but he doesn’t complain.

“Come in me, Landen,” I say because I want to feel him pour himself into my pulsating walls—I want him to be a part of me even after this is over. It’s reckless and insane, and if my last EKG hadn’t said what it did I would never do something so impulsive, but who knows what our relationship will be like after this.

“Layla—”

“Please. I-I
need
it.”

He doesn’t answer as his neck veins bulge and he squeezes me so tightly it’s painful but in the best kind of way. I’m flung over the edge into bliss-filled rapture, shuddering and shivering on my way out of into and out the darkness. He thrusts into me once more, and I feel it. Searing and filling the inside of me in scorching bursts.

The sensation sets off a series of aftershocks and I’m clenching and tightening around him, rhythmically pulling him in deeper as he comes.

“Look at me,” I say softly, wanting him to open his eyes so we can have this shared memory. “Please.”

His previously green eyes are so dark with his dilated pupils that they’re practically black as he releases everything he has into me. “You’re mine, Layla,” he whispers when he finishes and eases down on top of me, never once breaking our eye contact. “Your mine.”

I nod because he’s right. Partially. I am his. Until my secrets ruin both of us. “I know,” I whisper back, wishing I could promise to be his forever.

L
ayla’s
body should be sculpted and displayed in a museum somewhere.

She’s dozing in and out, lying on her stomach next to me with her slender arms tucked under her and a peaceful smile on her lips. Her dark comforter is pulled up to her waist but not far enough that I can’t see the perfect curve where her back dips and rises at the top of her divine ass. I held her for a while afterward, but we were both burning up, so she rolled away from me.

It was her first time and she seems content, happy even. Hell, she’s practically in a coma, so I’m feeling pretty good about myself. But as much as I enjoyed releasing myself inside of her, I’m all jittery and wound up with emotion. Like I’m the one who just gave up my virginity. In a way, I guess I did.

I’ve had sex before. Layla knows that. But what I didn’t tell her was that I’d never actually made love to anyone. Never done anything more than screw whatever random girl I was dating at the time, and not really even all that well, because I never gave a shit before. It’s been over a year since I’ve slept with anyone. There’s been no one else since I met Layla, so it’s a wonder I lasted as long as I did.

And I damn sure never went in without a condom on. Ever.

Just the memory of sinking into Layla’s tightness, the perfect fit of her warm, wet opening around my dick, is enough to make me hard all over again. And looking into her eyes, her voice pleading with me to come inside of her, I was so gone—beyond reason, beyond sense. So totally and completely bound to this girl. And what’s worse, I’m goddamn
thrilled
about it. And terrified, because I have to tell her how I ended up here and why. I should’ve already told her. Maybe it’s too late now.

I let go of the breath I’ve been holding, hoping it will take some of the tension in my chest with it. No such luck.

“Was it okay for you?” Layla’s sleepy voice asks, tearing me from my thoughts.

“Is that a serious question?” I turn over on my side to face her. “Because pizza is okay. Hell, perfectly cooked steak is okay. That was…that was not even in the same universe as
okay
.”

Her smug little grin calms my nerves and eases the tension from before, though it tightens some other vital parts of me. “Mm.”

“Was it okay for you?” I ask, running my hand gently down her arm and hoping she’s not too sore.

“Mmhm,” she murmurs. “Milkshakes are okay, Landen, and I love milkshakes, but that was…that was extra cherries and chocolate syrup and warm caramel and—”

My laughter cuts her off, and three words I’ve been dying to tell her catch in my throat. But until she knows the truth, I can’t burden her with that. Before I lose myself in thoughts of the many ways I can royally fuck this up, she leans forward and presses her mouth to mine.

“Is it normal that I already want to do it again?” she asks against my lips.

“Who the hell cares about normal?” I reach out, pulling her still naked body onto mine.

“What if I can never get enough?” she asks just before she slips her moist tongue into my mouth.

“Hmm,” I groan against her lips. “I’m sure we could work something out. I’m not going anywhere.”
I won’t leave you like before, swear to God.

My words must be enough to reassure her because her eyes flash with mischief and she grins. “Won’t they miss you at the scrimmage tomorrow?”

“Nah, I’ll be too drained to play anyways.”

She growls a ferocious little sound from her chest, probably the sexiest sound I’ll ever hear, and pulls herself up onto me. “But I was planning to come tomorrow,” she pouts, thrusting out her swollen lower lip and looking down at me like she’s an expert in seduction. Maybe she is. Maybe some people are just born with these abilities, and they don’t come from experience.

“Oh, you will come tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day.” Sitting up, I pull her to me and kiss her until my head swims from lack of oxygen.

“Landen,” she says softly, pulling back and using a finger to trace the round bruise forming on my chest from our accident.

“It’s okay. My arm hurts worse than that, to be honest.” Thank God they put a bandage over the stitches, or I would’ve probably already pulled those fuckers out by now.

“Will you really be okay for tomorrow?” The concern filling her eyes sends my heart thudding against my chest.

“I will be…if you don’t kill me, that is.”

Concern turns to something darker and more dangerous as she slides herself over my erection. Condom, we have
got
to use a condom. But as she brushes her slick, folded flesh up the length of me, I don’t care if she wants to get pregnant, get married, move to the ass end of Georgia, and do this every day for the rest of life. Whatever she wants, I will give it to her.

Forever if she’ll let me.

“I
should get going so you can get some rest,” I tell her as the sun beats in through the window.

She grunts her disapproval, too weak from what we’ve been doing to each other to formulate words, so I don’t make a move to leave. But we both have class in a few hours, and I have practice at noon, followed by a team meal before the scrimmage. I know Dean and the others are going to the Intro class, but she and I both have classes right after, so it’s not like we can sleep in much.

Though I would if she wanted to. Knowing her, she won’t want to miss class, even for this. I lean over, grab my phone from my jeans, and set an alarm. Her grip tightens on my chest. “Relax, I’m staying.”

“I know you are,” she murmurs.

I chuckle, kissing her on top of her head. Fuck, this girl makes me
chuckle
. Skylar is going to give me so much hell. “Just need to set an alarm, babe.”

And I should sleep, I really fucking should. But I can’t stop staring at her. Running my hands through her silky hair and down her smooth back as she drifts to sleep in my arms. Because she’s mine now. So utterly and completely mine. Even though I’m an undeserving bastard.

I’ve parted her, broken her, filled her, and stared into her eyes as she came. Surges of pleasure and possessiveness have me hot and tense, so I push the covers away and let the image of her naked body burn itself into my retinas until I pass out.

“D
ang
girl, did you guys get
any
sleep?” Corin asks as I walk into our room after class.

“Mmm, a little.” This must be what it feels like to be a zombie.

“Well, you have the glow of someone who just got spectacularly laid, but the dark rings under your eyes say you could use a nap,” she informs me.

There’s nothing I can do to stop the grin that sneaks onto my face.

“Yeah, like I said, must’ve been good,” she says.

Part of me wants to rehash every detail just to remind myself it really happened. But I can’t even imagine speaking the words out loud to describe what Landen and I spent the night doing to each other. “It was,” is all I say.

She shakes her head and grins back at me. “I’m glad your first time was nice for you.”

“Me to. It
so
was.” As was my second and third time. I’m still all warm and tingly when I remember the position I put her in last night. “Oh God, Corin. I’m such a crap friend. I felt so horrible about sending you off alone with Skylar knowing…what I know.”

She rolls her eyes and gestures for me to sit next to her on the futon. I notice that
Pitch Perfect
is paused on the screen, and I laugh. She made so much fun of me for being obsessed with it, and now she’s addicted too.

Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart-topper is not lame!

“It was fine. We talked, and he was…understanding,” she tells me with a sly little smile that says there’s more to the story.

“Wait. You
told
him?”

“Yeah. I mean, he wasn’t like super excited about it, but like I said, we talked. We kind of bonded, I guess you could say.”

“Traumatic experiences will do that to you,” I mutter.

She shrugs. “Yeah, um, we didn’t bond quite like you and Landen obviously did.”

My face warms, and I take a deep breath before settling into the cushions. “It was kind of…a long time coming, you know? I mean, I pushed him out of my mind for so long that it just seemed natural to push him away. But…”

“But he won’t be pushed,” she finishes for me.

I nod, grateful that she understands. “Do you think I’m crazy?” I’m worried my changes of heart can’t be counted on one hand since Corin met me.

“Who the hell am I to judge you?” she asks with a sad smile, the one that hints at shame in her past. Maybe we have more in common than I initially thought. She’s wrong—we’re not opposites. At least, not completely.

“It just seems dangerous, and kind of scary, and so unlike me. But I’m tired of being afraid, you know?” I shrug, but my own words stab me in all me weakest places. “I want him, and life is short.”

“Uh, yeah, and he obviously wants you too. But he might be able to resist you tonight if you show up to the game looking like a corpse.”

She’s right. I need sleep. It’s still a few hours until the scrimmage. After casting a longing glance at Anna Kendrick on the screen, I struggle to my feet. “Wake me up in an hour?”

“How about two hours?” Corin suggests.

“Yeah, okay. Sleep is my friend.”

Collapsing onto my bed, I grab my phone so I can set an alarm in case she falls asleep, too. I am not the only one who appears to have been up all night. When I unlock the screen, there’s a text.

Can’t stop thinking about tonight.

Heat sparks in my center, flowing outward until the darkened room is nearly glowing.

Me either. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you play. I’ll see you at the arena.

His response takes a few seconds so I go ahead and set my alarm.

Yeah, that too. Rest up. Might be a long night.

Oh Lord, help me, this boy. And I’m wet just thinking about him, but I’m sore too, so hopefully he’s not completely serious. Definitely going to get some rest just in case.