Things Still Weren't Right....
V
ictoria glanced at her watch and sighed. It was eight o'clock on Wednesday evening, and she had completed only half of the things on her long to-do list. The week had been busy, filled with meetings, site visits, and food tastings for upcoming events. Divine Occasions had become so lucrative that she would soon need to bring another full-time staff member on board. She loved growing her business and following her dreams, but it often caused an internal conflict over balancing her professional aspirations and her family's needs.
At times she resented the uneven load she was expected to carry. Ted could be out of town for days on end and could work late nights at the office for weeks, all in the name of corporate business. But if she stayed away too frequently, or for too long, her absence was felt more than his, making her feel guilty whenever her work took her away from home.
She wanted to be home right now, having dinner with Alexandria, but her duties as a businesswoman had kept her chained to her office all day. It was times like the present that she was thankful she had a dependable child-care service. She picked up the phone and made a quick call to say good night to Alexandria, and to let the babysitter know that she needed her to stay for another hour. She'd already talked to Ted to let him know that she would be working late, and not to her surprise, he had told her that he would be working late, tooâagain.
Over the past couple of weeks they had barely spent any time together or interacted outside of their parenting duties. She shuddered when she thought about the current state of her marriage. They were becoming passing shadows in the night.
Two weeks had passed since Ted's return from his trip to Boston, and she was more worried about him than ever. Alexandria had come home a few days after, which had made her feel better, because at least her daughter was back to her old self again. Victoria knew the trip to North Carolina had made all the difference. Since her return, Alexandria hadn't asked once if her mommy or daddy was going to go away for eternal sleep like her granny Carolyn had. Her short-lived concern about mortality had been replaced by the excitement of her upcoming enrollment in what she called “big kids' school.”
Now Victoria's biggest concern at the moment was her husband. She'd hoped that Ted would return to his old self, too, or at least open up to her about whatever the real secret was that his mother had been keeping. But to her disappointment, neither had happened.
Although she felt guilty for doing dirt of her own, she knew that Ted was hiding something as well. She tried to empathize because of the grief and loss he had suffered, but her gut told her that he was lying, and that whatever Carolyn had been hiding must have bordered on the criminal. It was the only explanation she could think of to justify his change in behavior and his constant preoccupation with hidden thoughts, which seemed to be pushing him further and further away from her.
Victoria paused, rubbing her eyes as she looked at the wall clock across the room. It was approaching eight thirty, and she was still stuck on the same two lines of the catering contract she'd been looking at for the last half hour.
She rose from her desk to stretch her limbs, trying to shake off the bad feeling that had overtaken herâthe knowledge that her marriage was in deep trouble. She and Ted were drifting toward shaky ground, not just because of his suddenly strange behavior, but also because of what she had done with Parker.The guilt was slowly eating at her like a sore that would not heal, and she knew it was impacting her interaction with her husband.
The fact that Ted hadn't noticed that her behavior had changed, and didn't seem to care that their intimacy was eroding, gave her even more reason for concern. She thought about what had occurred between them a few nights ago, while they were in bed. They were lying uncharacteristically apart, he on one side of their California kingâsize mattress and she on the other. He hadn't touched her in days, so she asked him outright about her suspicions.
“If your mother did something bad, I mean really terrible, you know that you could confide in me, right?”
Ted was silent for a moment before answering. “V, why are you still asking me about that? I told you everything there is to know.”
Victoria reached out and draped her arm around his shoulder. “I'm asking because I know you,” she replied. “And I know that there's something you haven't told me... . I can feel it.” She said this while peering deep into his eyes, thanks to the sliver of light that shined in from the hallway. She saw fear and vulnerability staring back at her, and it frightened her, but at the same time it was the most honest expression she'd seen and the most connected she'd felt to him in weeks.
Her heart sank because in that moment she felt like shit for what she had done with Parker. A single tear slid down her cheek at the thought. “I love you... . I've made some mistakes”âshe paused, trying to hold back the flood that threatenedâ“but I promise you, I'll work hard to be a better wife. Just don't shut me out.”
Ted's entire body exhaled, releasing the weight of his guilt into Victoria's arms. He pulled her close to him. He didn't know what to say to explain himself, so instead, he spoke a language that didn't require words. He stroked her back, kissed her lips, and removed her silk nightgown. Their lovemaking veered between moments of sweet, gentle passion and raw, untamed heat. Their bodies swayed in sensual rhythm. Victoria dug her knees and the palms of her hands into the mattress, balancing herself on all fours as Ted knelt behind her. She gritted her teeth, taking in each powerful thrust as he gave her what they both wanted and neededârelief.
Afterward, they lay wrapped in each other's arms. They wanted to stay in the safe place their heated passion had created, because despite what they had just shared, things still weren't right between them. There were unanswered questions, secrets, and lies floating in the air, and neither of them had the courage to touch them.
Now, standing in her office, with her mind on everything except work,Victoria knew it was pointless to stay any longer. Her thoughts weren't focused, because the only thing on her mind was the fragile state of her marriage. She longed to skip over the next two days so she could get to the weekend. Even though she had a mountain of work to tackle, the weekend represented an opportunity for her to begin to repair the mess she had made of things. She planned to start by taking Ted out on the town for a romantic dinner at his favorite restaurant, followed by a quick stop at his favorite jazz club, before capping off the evening with a moonlight stroll in the park.
Victoria was preparing to pack up her things and head home when a strange feeling hit her. It was a sense of impending danger that ran through her bones. She lowered her head. “Lord, please forgive me for what I've done, and give me the strength to make things right again. So help me, from this day forward I'm going to act like I have some sense and hold my family together.”
Just as she was about to turn off the antique art deco lamp on her desk, her cell phone began to ring. When she looked at the name that flashed across the screen, all she could do was close her eyes and pray harder.
Let It Go ... ?
Parker was glad that his long day had finally come to an end. It had been one full of frustrations, starting with a difficult emergency surgery that had stretched into the late afternoon, preventing him from picking up PJ from school. He was diligent about having his Wednesday and Friday surgeries scheduled for the early morning hours so he would have the afternoon free to spend with his son, but when emergencies came, he had to act. Then his new assistant abruptly quit, leaving him with a mound of paperwork and dozens of fires to put out. But even those complications didn't compare to the disappointment he felt when he thought about Victoria.
He steered his black Navigator out of the hospital parking lot, thinking about their last encounter. It had been two weeks since he had seen or heard from her. Even though she had tried to act tough by telling him that she didn't want to pursue anything with him, he knew it was simply a matter of time before she would come back into his arms. So he decided to play along, resisting the urge to contact her. But now he was feeling agitated, and he realized that his plan to exercise patience wasn't going to work.
He was a man of means and unrelenting determination. The word
no
wasn't in his vocabulary. He had been an overachiever all his life and was used to getting his way. If there was something he wanted, he went after it, regardless of the roadblocks that threatened to sideline him. He'd always believed that life was too short to settle for anything less than what he wanted.
As he turned the corner, switching lanes, Parker shook his head when he thought about the fact that the woman he loved was married to another man. It killed him to know that Victoria was with someone else, but he withstood the injury to his heart and the insult to his ego because he knew he was responsible for his fate, and he knew that if he hadn't messed up, they would be a family today. So instead of continuing to dwell on past transgressions that he couldn't change, he decided to work on what he could. He turned down the volume on his truck's CD player, made a right turn onto Peachtree Road, and hit Victoria's number on speed dial. Just when he thought the call was going to voice mail, she picked up.
“Can you talk?” he asked, not giving her a chance to say hello.
Victoria let out a heavy sigh. “Parker, I thought we already discussed this. It's over.Why are you calling me?”
He felt like telling her that he was a grown-ass man, that she was his woman, and that he would call her anytime he damn well pleased. But only one of his points was valid, so he held his tongue. “I need to talk to you.”
“We have nothing to discuss. Please let this go.”
“Let it go?” he said with incredulity.
Victoria sat silent on the other end of the line. “I'm hanging up now.”
Parker tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He knew she must still be at her office, working late, because if she were at home, she wouldn't have answered her phone or called out his name.
He made a sharp left and headed in her direction. “I'm turning into the business park now. I'll be at your office door in less than a minute.” And with that, Parker hung up and stepped on the gas.
Something Bad Was in the Air ... .
Ted sat at his desk, consumed by a sinking feeling that had settled over his body. He was thinking about the conversation he'd had with Victoria only moments ago.
He had managed to push his heavy personal burdens out of his mind in order to concentrate on the business at hand. His day had been surprisingly productive given his dour frame of mind when he first arrived at his office earlier that morning. He oversaw an executive board meeting with prospective shareholders, held a brainstorming session with key members of his executive management team, and then conducted a conference call with the VPs of ViaTech's six remote locations. Things had been going as well as could be expected until his cell phone vibrated and he saw Victoria's number light up the screen.
She had called to let him know that she was still at her office, working late, and that she would be there for at least another hour or more.When he told her that he planned to work late as well, he heard the gentle concern in her voice.
“Ted, you've been working day and night since we got back from Boston.You must be exhausted,” she'd said.
“I'm fine, but you, on the other hand, should probably head home.”
He knew that Victoria always made a concerted effort not to work late on weekdays unless an event pulled her away.The fact that she was still at her office let him know that one of two things must be going on with his wife: either she was snowed under with work that couldn't be put off for another day, or she was so stressed that she needed a few hours to herself in the empty solitude of her office. He suspected it was the latter, given that she was well organized and never let her workload get beyond a controllable size.
“V, I really think you should call it a day,” he said. “You know I'm always uncomfortable when you're over there by yourself late at night.”
“I'll be fine.”
Ted tapped his expensive fountain pen against the edge of his desk. He could hear an underlying tension in her voice. “Are you sure you're okay?” he asked.
“I'm just a little tired, but I'm good. Listen, I've got to go so I can call the sitter.”
She ended their call abruptly, and it left him with the distinct feeling that something bad was in the air.
As Ted leaned back in his chair and replayed their brief conversation, his thoughts plunged deeper and deeper, until they reached a place that was cold and unfamiliar. He was losing Victoria, and he could feel it. “I can't sit back and let my marriage fall apart,” he said to himself. He knew he had to take action. He logged off his computer, grabbed his suit coat and attaché, and walked out the door, heading straight for Victoria's office.