Keeping You: KJ Elite Inc. (8 page)

My mind was reeling; I felt high and delirious; my body swam in this foreign emotion. I was outrageously...Jesus Lord, I was turned on.

His tongue ran from left to right against the seam of my lips, urging me to open to him.

When I hesitated, he swept back from right to left coaxing me to his will.

So I did.

No one was going to control what I wanted anymore – well, okay maybe Noah was helping me but even he wasn’t keeping me from doing what I wanted to do. I wanted this, he was only helping to give it to me.

Noah’s silky, long tongue slipped into my warm mouth, stroking mine like it was doing the dance of lovers. My hands clutched at his shirt, my body wiggled closer to his as if I wasn’t in control of my body.

Not that either of us were complaining.

My fingernails nearly hooked into his chest as the kiss became needier, more passionate and faster, deeper.

I moaned into Noah’s mouth and he pulled back, sucking in a deep breath.

“Jesus Christ.”

I cringed at the use of the Lord’s name in vein but wasn’t about to scold him. Also, I didn’t know if that was good or bad, his exclamation.

“I’m sorry.”

Winded, I pulled back but Noah gripped me tighter.

As he opened his mouth, two loud pairs of feet came stomping up the staircase as a warning.

“Jamie!”

“Noah!”

They called out.

Noah pulled back and straightened my clothes before sitting up and moving a foot away. An easy feat considering how he had a King size bed. I imagine they all needed King sized everything, the Kane and Jameson men, even growing up.

Taylor was the only girl and somehow she was a teeny tiny little thing. I told her on numerous occasions how I just wanted to put her in my pocket, she was adorably fun sized. It shocked me to find out her identical twin was just as tall as the other guys while she was a good foot shorter. Apparently it is an incredibly rare thing, but totally possible.

Their heavy footfalls told us where they were and it jolted me to my senses; I jumped up and away from his bed. Surely they’ll know what we’ve been up to.

If only the ground would hurry it up already and open to swallow me whole. Figures I was going to die of embarrassment.

“In here.” He called back.

Victoria and Cynde found us sitting in the awkward silence, smiling at us knowingly.

“We wrapped you some food to go, baby.” Victoria said to me sweetly. Her accent was the thickest, sweetest thing I’d ever heard. I couldn’t deny that I was a sucker for the southern accent given that Noah’s voice is pretty much all I need, if you know what I mean.

“Huh? Oh, thank you, very much, ma’am.” I said, praying I didn’t look like some call girl that just assaulted their son.

“Now, Noah, remember what we said and call us if you need anything.” Cynde told him.

“Yes ma’am, ma.”

I’m not sure what was sexier, the accent or the absolute respect of women.

“You two might want to skedaddle now. We have the girls coming over in just a few minutes!” Cynde said as they turned to go.

Noah looked over at me but I couldn’t face him just yet. Then his mother stopped and looked back between us and pointed to her lips.

“Oh, and sweetheart, you have a little…just there. Might want to wipe it off. It’s not exactly your shade.” She winked as Victoria cackled furiously.

“Goodbye, baby.” Victoria said, waving to me.

“Bye.” I croaked, thoroughly embarrassed. As soon as I heard them hit the bottom of the staircase I proceeded to fling myself onto his bed, face down.

Noah just laughed.

“Trouble, those two.”

“Well, I see where you get it from.” My voice muffled from the blankets and mattress; I wasn’t so sure he heard me until I felt the bed shake from his erratic laughter.

Picking up my head and looking over to him had him calming down a bit as he turned to me and grinned that panty melting signature Kane smile.

Standing up, he walked over to the end of the bed and grabbed my feet. Noah pulled and brought me up against his tight body; face to face, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis and so on.

I expected him to make some wise crack, hit on me or carry me away like a caveman but he didn’t move; he stood there, studying me.

Noah rendered me speechless with such close proximity, especially after sharing a kiss like that – my first kiss, ever. Of sorts.

As I looked into his eyes, my only thought was, if I thought his eyes looked like a storm before, they had nothing on the roiling black his eyes were now.

Chapter 5

Jamie is the most perfect thing I have ever touched, ever looked at. There’s not a doubt in my mind. She was pure and delicate. Even with her past, she seemed unaffected by this cruel and terrible world; I only wish she were.

Looking into her eyes, tasting her, was the most bittersweet feeling. Conflicted didn’t begin to cover it. I was a monster for all the things I’ve done in this life, if only she knew that there were worse things out there, right here.

Memories of all the lifeless faces and bodies flashed through my mind’s eye, reminding me why I don’t deserve to hold something so remarkable. The idea of having her in my reach, holding her but not being able to keep her was like a knife to my heart.

Jamie eyes me, doubt creeping into her beautiful syrupy irises. She struggles to pull away from me and I tighten my grip, afraid to let her fall - let her fall on the floor, let her fall in her recovery, let her fall for me. It would be so easy to love Jamie; coming home to her and knowing she would be in my bed every morning and night. I try reminding myself that I don’t even want to settle down. Easy, hit it and quit it pussy is the best. They know the score and they don’t have enough humility to fight for what they deserve. The women I spend time with are not women I sleep with or make love to; we fuck and we fuck hard. I am upfront about what I want and they’re not exactly looking for love, either. My past is full of women begging me to do the things I do to them long before I make it known that it’s the only way I’ll touch them. After the first handful, you learn quick how to spot those kinds of women. Jamie is undoubtedly the farthest thing from that kind of woman. Any fool could see that she was not one of them, and more importantly, I didn’t want her to ever be.

My mother would be ashamed if she could hear those degrading thoughts, and just that knowledge made me mentally kick myself in the balls. Even if it was all or mostly true.

Regardless of how I ought not to treat other women shouldn’t be a thought in my mind with the flawless beauty sitting in my arms like a puddle.

Words don’t fail me, but the right one’s do.

“Noah, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a tease. I just…” She began.

“Stop. I don’t expect anything from you, Jamie. Nothing.” I replied, coldly.

She flinched back at my words. I set her on her feet then let go of her and turned to walk out.

My shit excuse for a brain might not be able to tell her what we both need to hear, want to hear, so I don’t say anything. She deserves more than a lame let down or empty words. I can’t tell her I don’t want anything because that’s a lie. I can’t tell her I don’t want her, because that’s a lie. I can’t tell her that I’ll leave her alone and let her heal because the lie detector test determined that’s a lie. I’m selfish but I ain’t stupid. No matter how badly I want to fuck her brains out, turn around and make sweet, sweet love to her and call her mine, I want to and have to protect her all the more.

Jamie Wright is my Achilles heel and Lord help us if there truly is a dark force at work against us because I haven’t exactly made it a secret. Now I’m going to have to be a total dick and hide my infatuation with her.

I’m throwing out a pretty big number here, but I give myself ten minutes til’ I blow that brilliant plan.

“Where are we going now?” Jamie asked, trailing behind me.

“I’m going to take you back to Taylor and Tommy’s to sit with Matt while I check on some stuff.”

And workout until even my brain hurts.

Thirty minutes later, Luke finds me punishing my body in the gym, underground of Betty.

“Heya Happy, what’s up?” My youngest brother stands behind me to spot me at the weight bench.

I can only manage to grunt a hello so I don’t lose count. Not like I’m actually keeping count; tonight is all about makin’ it hurt.

“You gotta be more careful.” I dock the bar and look up at him.

“It’s only 300, Lulu.” Luke narrows his eyes at me and gives me a warning growl.

Lulu is what I call his bitch name; whenever he acts like a chick, or is being a pussy, he’s Lulu.

“I meant your leg, dickwad.”

I look down at my knees and realize I threw on basketball shorts. Fuck. It was so easy to forget sometimes, oddly enough, and automatic for me to suit up in this same outfit when hitting the gym.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep, much needed breathe and shake my head.

“Thanks.”

“Where’s your head at?” He asks, switching places with me.

“Take a guess.” I huff.

Luke and I are pretty close. We had “buddies” growing up; Tommy and Mike were pair one, Luke and I were pair two. It helped us to teach one another and look out for each other. Older kids with younger helped the parents in public, while working on the farm or cooking, etc. The buddy system was implemented after Tommy was born, working not only for our family but the Jameson’s as well.

Yeah, Luke and I didn’t have many secrets; it didn’t help that you couldn’t really hide a secret from Luke-almighty with his ridiculous computer secret powers. If he didn’t know something, give him five minutes alone with his gadgets and he would be an expert. Kid was crazy smart with technology but also had a near genius IQ and eidetic memory. Though the memory thing was pretty fun when he was being especially troublesome; all it took was one comment and he had a perfect memory of walking in on me buck ass nekkid after a little happy time. I was embarrassed then, but man his reaction to this day gets me every time.

“Why not just tell her? Tay and TJ got me full up on chasing women.”

“That’s a different story and you know it. Plus…”

He slammed the bar into place, shot up and turned on me.

“Don’t give me that bullshit again, No.”

He knew where I was going.

Between the two of us, he seemed to be the only one who was vehemently arguing my morality. Or defending it – whichever.

“You were a Navy-fucking-Seal, brother. Don’t give me this crap about you being morally bankrupt or waiting for your spot in hell to open up. There is a lot of shit you might not have liked, but I know you wouldn’t have done it if you knew it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“You don’t know the half of what I’ve done.” I argued.

I knew I was wrong; Luke knew everything.

“I’ve seen your non-existent file. Don’t play that. There’s a reason Seal’s exist, and there’s an even better reason why you were selected. You’re a leader and you’re a champion of this country’s – hell, this whole world’s safety and fight for freedom. It takes a strong person to run those streets and you dominated. Don’t be sorry because you knocked off some piss-ant terrorists to save a school of kids or the nation’s capital. I can’t guarantee you there wouldn’t be people who would berate you and call you a baby killer but don’t go turning into P.C. Polly on me now. You’re created for a reason and if you didn’t exist, chances are we would all be living in New China or ISIS Land.”

I just nodded. I had run out of defenses and didn’t want to appear the martyr, even though that’s probably exactly what I am.

“How’s the house coming along?”

“It’s coming. I guess. I don’t know, man. I’m not a pro at this shit. All I need is a bedroom, bathroom and computer room. Ma and Aunt V keep tellin’ me I need a dining room, extra rooms for babies one day, a garage, a living room and family room, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

He used his hand to mimic mouthing a puppet or a runaway mouth.

I just laughed at him.

“You better listen to them or they’ll take turns whoopin’ you. Just let them design it and Tommy’ll walk through it all with you. I could even call J.R. up here.”

J.R. was the dude you wanted to see if you needed anything built. I’d known J.R. since we were in diapers all through school; he had taken over his family’s carpenter business but added a construction sector to the company, tripling their profits and income. I reached out to him my last year in the Navy when I knew for sure what I was going to do. Mike and I planned KJ Inc. well before the government released our balls back to us. It took us a few months to get everything moving but J.R. was our go to and he really nailed it. No pun intended.