Keeping Your Head After Losing Your Job (26 page)

Let’s take a closer look.

Keep track of your sleep:
Write down the time you go to bed, fall asleep, wake in the middle of the night, and finally wake up. What time do you get out of bed? By keeping track of your sleep, you will get a better estimate of how much sleep you are really getting and whether the program I am describing here will help you. Many people with insomnia underestimate how much time they actually sleep. You may find that your sleep patterns vary from day to day. That will be valuable information to see what might interfere with your sleep.

EXERCISE: KEEP A SLEEP LOG

Keep track of the time that you go to bed and fall asleep every day, using the chart below as a template. Place an “s” in each box when you are sleeping and a “w” in the box when you wake. (The table begins at 7.00 pm and ends at 11.00 am. If your sleep occurs at other times, keep track of those times). Also note the naps that you take during the day, since these will affect your sleep patterns. What is the total amount of sleep that you get on each day? Ideally, you should do this for the next eight weeks.

Have regular times for going to bed and getting up:
Many people have dysregulated sleep because they go to bed at irregular times. As we have seen, your circadian rhythms need to be regularized. I suggest that you try to go to bed at the same time—
if you are tired
—and wake at the same time each day. If you have to choose between regularizing going to bed and waking, choose waking. Let’s say you want to start getting up at 7:00 a.m. If you are sleepy, go to bed at 11:00 pm. If you are not sleepy, go to bed later—but get up at 7:00 am. You might be tired the first day or two, but your brain will start sending messages to go to sleep at 11:00 pm. Avoid naps during the day, since they throw off the circadian rhythms.

Develop a wind-down time before bed:
At least one hour before you go to bed, do something relaxing, or even boring. For example, you might take a warm bath before bed, listen to relaxing music (not agitating and irritating music), read something that is not too intellectually stimulating (I like to read history books because they tend to put me to sleep). Avoid using the computer, avoid intense emotional discussions, and avoid anything that is too emotionally provocative. You want to wind down.

Use the bed for sleep and sex—only:
One of the problems for many people is that they associate the bed with a lot of mental activity. Don’t use the bed for watching television, checking email, reading (other than a quick read before sleep), or talking on the phone. The bed needs to be a “signal” for sleep. It’s OK to have sex in bed, since this will help to relax you. Your sleep environment should be relaxing. Is it too hot, too cold? Is there excessive noise? Try to remedy these problems if you can. Getting a relaxing night’s sleep is essential. Your bed and environment should be comfortable.

Write down any worries or negative thoughts
three hours before bedtime. Since much of insomnia is due to excessive mental activity, you need to get those thoughts out a long time before you go to bed. I suggest writing these down at least three hours before bedtime and then examining them using some of the techniques that we have discussed. You can use the form below to write down those thoughts and challenge them. Get this done hours before bedtime.

EXERCISE: CHALLENGE YOUR
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Identify your negative thought and use the questions below to test or challenge it. Sometimes negative thoughts reflect certain distortions in thinking (mind-reading, fortune-telling, catastrophizing, labeling, all-or-nothing thinking, discounting your positives or over-generalizing). Which distortion are you using? You might also think about productive action that you can take. Problem solving is often a useful technique for dealing with negative thoughts. Not all thoughts have an answer and you might consider the advantage of accepting some uncertainty or some unfairness. Do you really need the answer right now?

Negative thought
What thinking distortion am I using?
How would I challenge this thought?
Is there any productive action to take tomorrow?
Can I accept some uncertainty or some difficulty—and still get on with life?
What advice would I give a friend?
Conclusion

Eliminate food and drink before bedtime:
Many people eat heavily before bedtime, or drink excessively. Any liquid may interfere with sleep since it may lead to urinary urgency during the middle of the night. Similarly, heavy or spicy foods interfere with sleep—as will alcohol. Try to eliminate these from your diet at least four hours before bedtime.

Get up if you are thinking too much:
You don’t want to lie in bed ruminating and worrying. If you are lying in bed for more than fifteen minutes with your mind racing with thoughts, get out of bed and go into another room. Sit quietly and do something boring. Don’t do anything that requires a lot of mental activity. If your mental activity in bed was based on worry, use the form above for handling these thoughts. For example, identify your negative thought, the distortions you might be using, then challenge these thoughts, use problem solving, if that is relevant, and consider accepting either uncertainty or difficulty for now.

Practice healthy habits during the day:
The quality of your sleep at night will depend on the healthy habits you practice during the day. This includes eating, drinking, smoking, and using drugs. Reduce caffeine intake, because this can stay in your system for many hours. Increase exercise during the day and get more sunlight. Sleep quality will reflect the quality of your daily life.

Give it time:
You won’t reverse insomnia overnight. It takes a while to practice new habits and to reprogram your brain’s circadian rhythms. Sleep time is surrender time, so you might find that it will take a while to let go, abandon the active negative thoughts running through your mind, and slip into sleep. But it can be done.

If you follow this plan of sleep hygiene and reducing worry, you are likely to improve the efficiency of your sleep. It will take time. You are retraining your brain, stabilizing your circadian rhythms, and developing new “associations” between your bed and sleep. The good news is that with proper sleep hygiene—and by challenging and dealing more effectively with your negative thoughts—you may find yourself more alert, less moody and more able to concentrate on important goals.

EXERCISE: ADDRESS YOUR SLEEP PROBLEMS

Use this list to recap on the importance of dealing with sleep problems if they arise.

•
Sleep problems are common for unemployed people.

•
Your sleep is affected by your worry, your sleep habits, and your increased mental activity.

•
Keep track of your sleep: when you go to bed, when you fall asleep, if you wake during the night and when you finally wake. How many hours of sleep are you getting?

•
Use the sleep hygiene program:

1.
Have regular times for going to bed and getting up.

2.
Develop a wind-down time before bed.

3.
Use the bed for sleep and sex—only.

4.
Write down any worries or negative thoughts three hours before bedtime.

5.
Eliminate food and drink before bedtime.

6.
Get up if you are thinking too much.

7.
Practice healthy habits during the day.

8.
Give it time.

3: Develop healthy eating habits

One of the great risks of this time between jobs is that you may be developing some harmful eating habits. We have already seen how a history of unemployment is associated with an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol and many other preventable health risks. This is a good time to focus on healthy eating and becoming mindful about what you put into yourself. It will require patience and attention, and will probably involve some frustration.

Sometimes you have to do what is hard now so that it can be easier, and better, in the future.

EXERCISE: YOUR FOOD INTAKE PATTERNS

Look at the questions below and answer each one honestly (remember you can write answers in your notebook if you prefer). It’s important to recognize your eating patterns since they can affect your energy, attitude and overall health. When you are completing the questions, keep in mind that this can be a guide to what you might need to change.

Do you eat a balanced diet from the five food groups (grains/pasta/starchy vegetables, dairy, vegetables, fruit and meat (fish, meat and poultry)?

Yes _______ No _________

Which of the above food groups do you not eat enough of?

Do you eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables each day (example: 3 fruits, 2 vegetables)?

Yes _______ No _________

Are half the grains you eat whole grains?

Yes _______ No _________

Do you eat a diet high in saturated fat (you eat mainly from fast-food restaurants, or you eat a lot of hamburgers, sausages, cold cuts, cheeses, biscuits, cakes, fried foods, butter)?

Yes _______ No _________

Do you drink soft drinks, fruit juices, sweetened foods, or cakes, pastries and other foods sweetened with sugar or other sweeteners’

Yes _______ No ________

Do you eat large portions (one serving of pasta is one handful; one serving of meat is the size of a deck of cards)?

Yes _______ No _________

Do you eat salty foods such as canned soups, processed foods and fast foods?

Yes _______ No _________

EXERCISE: YOUR HEALTH HISTORY

Put an X next to any of the following medical problems you have now or have had in the past (or write them in your notebook).

Problem	Past	Present
Diabetes: —type-1 —type-2
High blood pressure
Cardiovascular disease
Stroke
IBS (irritable bowel syndrome)
IBD (inflammatory bowel disease or Crohn’s)
Lactose intolerance
Bowel irregularities (chronic diarrhoea or constipation)
Obesity
Underweight
Cancer – type:
Osteoporosis
Alcohol intake of more than two drinks per day
Smoking
Renal (kidney disease)
Drug addiction (including marijuana)
Swallowing problems
For women only
Are you:	Yes	No
Pregnant
Lactating
Perimenopausal (a few years prior to menopause)
Menopausal (cessation of your period for over a year)

Look at your responses to the medical questions and discuss your medical history and your needs with your doctor. It is important to get the proper medical attention during your period of unemployment—just as it is at any time. Since we know that unemployed people have both short-term and long-term risks for health problems you should be sure to see your doctor, practice the best health habits, take whatever medication is required and have regular checkups. You can use your period between jobs to get a better handle on your health—through diet, eliminating tobacco, increasing exercise, and practicing meditation and relaxation.

EXERCISE: THE EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

The following problems can all result in erratic food intake (lack of balanced meals), inadequate food intake, loss of appetite or overeating. Tick—or write in your notebook—any that have had this effect on you.

Depression

Anxiety

Loneliness

Feeling emotionally empty

Anger

Feeling ‘spaced out’

Now, look back at your answers to these questions. In terms of your current diet, is there a balance in your diet? Are your portion sizes too big? Are you eating high-fat, unhealthy foods? Is your eating related to your emotions? Each of these factors is important. While you are unemployed you will have a lot of opportunities to overeat, to eat while you are emotional, and to eat the worst kinds of junk foods. Because you have more time to act on your emotions, you may find that your eating has gone out of control.