Authors: Linda Opdyke
Jack's heart thumped. Was there anything this dog could do to Kelly Jo? Was she able to control her fright and remain still? He held his breath, hoping she realized just how unmoving she needed to be.
The huge black dog sniffed the painting, then circled the tree and came back to his original spot at the painting...and lifted his leg.
Chapter Nine
Kelly Jo's shriek sent the dog jumping backward in panic.
Jack roared so hard with laughter he nearly fell from the tree, clutching hold at the last second, straddling the limb and hanging on for dear life, letting the tears roll down his face as his loud, unchecked laughter hit the air.
Kelly Jo's second shriek of indignation sent the dog racing for home, yelping in fright.
Jack's laughter continued unabated and though he tried to carefully throw one leg free and to jump down, he failed. He hung in the air, right leg dangling, his left leg and both arms still wrapped around the thick limb as he slowly, involuntarily, slid over the side. His stomach hurt from laughing so hard but he couldn't stop, his mind kept replaying the moment.
This payback was the greatest, most appreciated thing he'd ever seen.
Finally the pull of his weight was too much and his arms and left leg followed the path of his right leg, pulled loose from the limb and Jack fell to the ground.
Still roaring with laughter.
"This isn't funny!" Kelly Jo wailed in distress. "Look at what he did to me!"
Jack rolled over onto his stomach, still blubbering with mirth and belly-crawled the short distance to where Kelly Jo, both the frame and the person drenched, stared at him in shock. "You're wrong," he informed her. "This is
definitely
funny," Jack choked out between spurts of laughs.
"Help me!" she cried. "I'm...I'm...
wet
!"
"Oh...oh, yes, you certainly are," Jack managed to get out, not a shred of sympathy in his voice as his gaze rested on the thoroughly soaked naked woman. The cascade of golden curls were now a mass of ringlets flat on her head and down her body. Kelly Jo grimaced as her fingers only tentatively held the ringlets over what she needed covered.
Still prone, Jack put his hands on the ground in front of him and rested his chin on them, wrinkled his nose and made a face, but his tone remained one of sheer bliss. "You also have one God-awful awful stink to you."
"You have to wash me," she said flatly. "Right now. I can't believe you let this happen to me."
Jack shook his head, still grinning. "I'm not washing you," he told her. "I’ll get you some wet leaves or something, but..." he stopped and stared back at her. "What do you mean
I
let this happen to you? If you had kept quiet like I told you..."
"Go get the leaves," she ordered, then added hastily, "Oh, never mind. There's a creek not too far from here. Take me over there and I'll see what's handy for a bath. You can gather things..."
Jack threw his head back and laughed. "You're out of your mind if you think I'm touching that frame, let alone carting it around."
"This is all your fault," she seethed. "The least you can do is try to be helpful, try to find a way..."
"I am
not
touching that painting," he repeated. "Think of something else."
Kelly Jo's blue eyes had turned to clouds of battle, but Jack grinned as various thoughts raced through those clouds.
"What if," she began, "you put dirt on the frame. Will you touch it then and carry me to the creek?" Sarcasm colored her added, "Or will that still be too much for your delicate hands to endure?"
"You know," Jack warned her, still fighting fits of laughter. "You don't exactly present a great case for people to come to your aid."
She opened her mouth and he saw the venom coming. He grinned ear-to-ear but put up his hand in a gesture of peace. "Okay," he conceded. "We'll try the dirt trick. But I absolutely am not washing you, Stinky. You're on your own."
Jack sat up and crossed his legs, facing the painting that rested against the tree trunk. He reached out his hand and ran his fingers in the dirt, gathered up a short amount and then screwed up his face as he held a careful finger to the painting's frame. If at all possible, he had no intention of touching that frame. "I have a better idea," he told Kelly Jo. "Close your eyes."
Her expression said not only did she not like the suggestion, but that she didn't trust him. "Why?"
"I'm going to try to drop the dirt onto the frame and see how much sticks. If enough sticks, then I'll pick up the frame and hurl you to your bathtub."
"Very funny," she shot at him. "Just hurry. I can't take much more of this."
"Close them," Jack ordered and when she had he gently began dropping dirt onto the picture frame, doing his best to avoid even small drops going into the actual painting. Despite his unending glee at her predicament, he felt a small pebble of sympathy growing. And did his best to beat it back.
Kelly Jo jumped and grabbed her face. "Jack...
stop
," she cried.
Jack stopped immediately, guilt stabbing him at enjoying her helplessness. "Are you all right, Kelly Jo?"
Was she crying?
Jack grabbed the frame with both hands, aghast that he'd put dirt in her eyes.
Jack froze at Robert's, "What are you doing?"
Without thinking, Jack shoved the painting up his shirt just as Robert circled around where Jack sat in the dirt.
"Why aren't you in Covey's Creek?" Robert asked.
Jack blinked several times, then asked, "Wha...what?"
Robert sighed. "You're late so I came looking for you. What are you doing here at this house?" His face crinkled. "And what
is
that odor?"
Jack squirmed, but tried to keep his discomfort from his expression. He hadn't wanted to touch the offensive frame, but it would have been a cakewalk compared to the naked, urine-soaked woman now laying against his bare stomach.
"I...uh...I got lost and came to ask directions. A dog chased me," he finished lamely with a weak smile up at Robert.
Robert looked down at him like he was stupid. "Lost? Jack, all you have to do is follow Covey's Creek, about two hundred yards that way," he stated, pointing to the left. "You're ten minutes from town."
Jack's jaw dropped open and from the way Kelly Jo went suddenly still he knew she'd heard what Robert said, and that she was now the one in big trouble. With Jack. Kelly Jo's soft, soothing caress of Jack's stomach wasn't going to help her in the least. Especially since all she was doing was spreading the dog's stench.
"I...I..." Jack stammered.
Oh, boy, was she going to get it.
Robert's nose crinkled. "Smells like the dog caught up with you. You stink," he added flatly. "I advise you to get to that water without delay. Do what you have to do to wash out your clothes. And then get into town. I'll see you there."
Robert disappeared.
Jack inhaled a deep breath, then realized there was no fighting his growing anger. He pulled the painting out and held Kelly Jo up in front of him, his hazel gaze locked with innocently-blinking blue eyes.
"Okay,
Pee Wee
," he said curtly. "Start talking."
Chapter Ten
Kelly Jo's look remained innocent while she casually rearranged her dripping, smelly ringlets. "Sure. What would you like to talk about?"
"Game time is over," Jack stated flatly. "
Ten minutes away?
Yet you found it necessary to make a breaking-and-entering pit stop?"
"I did," she agreed, then further infuriated Jack when she added nothing more.
"Kelly Jo," he warned. "I'm not playing."
Kelly Jo sighed, then stomped her foot, the first visible sign she wasn't as in control as she wanted Jack to think. "I couldn't just stroll into Covey's Creek like this and you can hardly fault me for that, Jack," she said curtly. She then extended her hands to the side and pitifully wailed, "Look at me!"
"Not buying it," he informed her, battling to do the gentlemanly thing and avert his gaze from where her long hair now barely covered. "You weren't dirty and smelly before we stopped here. You told me that Covey's Creek is a small town many miles north. Robert called it a fairly large town about ten minutes from here."
Kelly Jo sniffed. "Well, obviously one of us exaggerated. And it wasn't me."
Jack glared at her. "No. One of you
lied
. And it wasn't Robert."
Kelly Jo exhaled an annoyed breath. "Split hairs if you want to, but..."
Exasperated and unwilling to listen to anymore of her attempts to double-talk him, he stood and interrupted with, "Which way to the creek? I want to get out of these clothes."
Desperation crept into Kelly Jo's tone. "I don't even
have
clothes...thanks to you. Since you know now that there's a dog there, can't you do the right thing and try to get in the house again?"
Jack bit back on his instant reply, then curtly said, "I should have done the right thing back at the oak tree and handed your sorry butt over to Robert."
He looked at the road they'd just come down and started retracing his steps.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "That's the way we came."
"Yep," he said flatly. "If you won't tell me which way to the creek I'll just find it myself." He gave her a quick
too bad for you
glance. "This stench has put me in a bit of a hurry so your ride may get a little bumpy."
Kelly Jo shot him a dark, frustrated look, but instead of arguing her point of Jack making a second attempt to enter the house she wisely stayed quiet, her arms folded across a chest heaving in contained anger.
Jack walked and got nowhere, ignoring Kelly Jo's occasional "hey!" from being jostled and her vocally vibrating "slow down!".
Finally she yelled, "Stop, Jack, just STOP and I'll tell you how to get to the creek."
Jack said nothing, but he stopped, his face impassive as his gaze met hers. "Why should I trust you?"
Kelly Jo shrugged. "I wouldn't if I were you..." she was cut off by Jack again walking down the road.
"Wait!" she cried.
He didn't.
"I'm sorrrrry," she conceded.
"I doubt that," he said, noting that his long stride still jarred her where she sat.
"There's a narrow path a few yards from here, to the right," she told him. "Turn in there and stay on the path through the woods. It'll take you straight to the creek."
Jack stopped and gave her a cool, evaluating look. "This isn't a backtrack to that house, is it? Because if it is and you think you're sorry
now
..." he warned.
"It isn't," she said quickly. "I promise."
"Spare me the innocent act, Kelly Jo," he said flatly. "I've pretty much got your number...1-800-lying-self-centered-con-artist."
"Hey," she protested. "That's a little harsh."
Jack spotted and then stepped onto the path to the creek. He welcomed the sheltered coolness of the trees, but his brows raised as he looked at Kelly Jo. "I notice you didn't say it was untrue. Just harsh."
"Oh," she burst out. "I don't care what you think. Just get me to that creek."
Jack remained silent for the rest of the walk. The sun was now dipping in the west, but the moon was rising in the east. One of those dusks when you could enjoy the sight of more than one heavenly body. With that thought his glance went to Kelly Jo. Even with the short view he'd inadvertently been given, he definitely considered hers a heavenly body...in every conceivable way.
Jack heard the creek long before he laid eyes on it. When he came around the last large boulder he gave a start. The water in front of him was a lot wider than what he called a creek. Not as vast as even a small river, but a lot larger than a normal creek or stream.
"At last," Kelly Jo said in relief. "I thought you would bounce my brains out," she complained.
"Not possible," he informed her, still watching the peacefully moving water.
"Very funny," she said with a grimace. "The middle is pretty deep if you want to swim, but about ten yards out it's still only waist length."
Trees overhung the sandy bank and rocks lined the shore, with several bigger ones interrupting the serene motion of the water.
"Okay," Jack said. "I'm going to put you over there behind a tree and I'm going to strip and then wash myself and my clothes. When I'm done..."
Kelly Jo was aghast. "When you're
done
?" She shook her head and her voice was firm. "I'm sorry, Jack, but you're going to have to wait your turn. I have to get this...this dog stink...off of my skin, out of my hair..."
"Pick a tree," he interrupted flatly. "And you'd better hope that there's no stray dogs in the area. Or badgers. Or..."
"Don't you do it," she warned. "I'm going first and that's all there is to it."