Bora Bora.
Brown as a nut and eating berries.
He hasn't found his soul yet.
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The next six months passed in a blur of pain and heavy sedation. Nealy neither knew when the sun came up nor when it set. She cried with the pain, with her inability to remain silent. And then on a glorious morning in April, she woke knowing something was different. She opened her eyes and for the first time, saw everything in the room clearly, thanks to the permanent contact lenses that had been implanted in her eyes. But more than that, she felt no pain. She moved her head, her arms and legs. Everything seemed to be working properly. She lay quietly, wondering if she was dreaming. Her hands went to her face. It felt smooth to her touch. Her heart leaped in her chest.
Was this the end of the road? Was it all over? Was it time to go home?
She could hear the birds singing in the garden.
A knock sounded, and then the door opened. A pretty little nurse with black shiny eyes and a fat pigtail going down her back said, “Dr. Vinh thought you might like to have your breakfast in the garden. I will set it up for you, Ms. Clay.”
“Yes, thank you. Breakfast in the garden sounds wonderful. Thank Dr. Vinh for me.”
Nealy slipped into her robe before she headed for the bathroom. She felt a little wobbly, but that was to be expected. She had spent the better part of the last six months in bed. The miracle was she was free of pain. Free of pain. Someone should write a song using those exact same words.
Nealy laughed when she saw the breakfast tray. A bottle of beer, a plate of cheese crackers, and a pack of American cigarettes. This, then, must be a celebration. She laughed, a funny little sound, but her lips did stretch into a smile. She could feel the pull and tug of her facial muscles. A miracle. A wonderful miracle.
Her hatred for the surgeon disappeared, and she winced when she thought about how she'd screamed at him, calling him a quack and even worse. Would he ever forgive her? Obviously he had, she thought, looking down at the tray. A celebration meant she should celebrate. She would smoke two cigarettes and throw the rest away. She would drink the one beer and make a mental resolution to have no more than one drink a day from now on. If that much. A new life and a new beginning didn't need to be cluttered up with tobacco and alcohol.
There was only one thing missingâa mirror. Perhaps today was the day one would be provided.
Would she miss this place? Yes and no. She would miss this small, private, walled-in garden with its exquisitely pruned shrubs and flowers. She would probably miss her room, too. It had been a haven for her all these months. She'd cried here, slept here, cursed here, vented her hatred here, and now, just maybe, she could rejoice here.
Was today the day?
Nealy looked up to see Maline standing in the doorway. She was dressed in street clothes. How different she looked without her starched white uniform and little cap perched on her dark curls. “Are you going somewhere, Maline?”
“You are not dressed, Nealy.”
There was such dismay in her voice, Nealy smiled. “I didn't know I was supposed to get dressed so early. Why?”
“Today is the true test of Dr. Vinh's work. Quick, you must dress, for we have to be back here by noon for your scheduled appointment.”
“Why? Are we going somewhere? No, I'm not ready . . . no one said . . .”
“Dr. Vinh's orders, Nealy. Hurry now.”
“Tell me why,” Nealy said.
“I told you, it is your true test. We are going shopping.”
“Shopping?” Nealy said stupidly.
“Yes, for looks. To see if people look at you. You know, stare. When I am satisfied with what I see, then we will really
shop
.”
Fifteen minutes later, Nealy was dressed, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Do I look all right, Maline?”
“You will look even better in minutes. Sit quietly now while I apply your makeup.”
“That's the makeup?” Nealy said, looking at the jar Maline held in her hands. “It looks like putty. You know that stuff they use to fill in the cracks when something gets broken.”
Maline giggled. “You're half-right. This will last for about six hours, and then you have to reapply it. Now sit still and don't move your facial muscles.”
Her touch was light and sure. Twice she stood back to view her handiwork only to advance and dab and smear. “Yes, I think that will do it. You must wear a hat, Nealy. I brought one for you. We do not want any sun on your face. That is another reason why I want us to get out early.”
Nealy plopped the wide-brimmed straw hat onto her head. “When can I see what I look like?”
“When Dr. Vinh says you can see and not one minute before. We are going to the market, where you will buy fresh vegetables and fruit. Here is some money. You will engage the vendor in conversation, and I will watch for his reaction. We will do this again and again until I am satisfied. You will not see any mirrors or windows where we are going. We must hurry.”
Nealy could feel her heart racing as they arrived at the huge open-air market where Maline shopped. She did as instructed, watching each person she came in contact with. No one paid any attention to her. They wrapped her purchases, took her money, made change, and smiled. She was almost ready to jump out of her skin with excitement when they reached the last vendor, where Maline bought a small carving of a mermaid for her husband. She explained away her last purchase by saying, “There is little in Sinjin's life to make him smile. Everything is work and dedication. When he smiles he makes me so happy. I think the test worked and you passed, Nealy. Sinjin will be so happy. And you, my friend, what is it you feel?”
“I don't know, Maline. I'm excited. I'm wary. I'm afraid. I feel like I have glue on my face.”
“You will get used to the way it feels in time. I think you look beautiful.”
Nealy stopped in her tracks and reached for Maline's arm. “Is that the truth?”
“But of course. I would not lie to you about something so important. Now do you want to really
shop
?”
“I'm your girl,” Nealy said happily. “I have so many presents to buy.”
They arrived back at the private clinic with minutes to spare. “There is just enough time for me to remove your makeup and clean your face. Quickly now, Nealy, Dr. Vinh doesn't like to be kept waiting. He is most anxious to hear my report.”
The moment.
That's how she would always remember it in the years to come. The moment when Dr. Vinh viewed his surgical skill with a clinical eye. The moment when he would shake his head, and, if she was lucky, he would smile. The moment when he would hand her a mirror. The moment when perhaps he would say something nice.
The moment.
She took her seat in the high familiar chair and closed her eyes when the bright magnifying lights shone down on her face. She waited, hardly daring to breathe for what he would say.
“How did your excursion go, Maline?”
“Very well, Doctor. No one paid the slightest bit of attention to your patient. The makeup worked superbly. I saw no problems.”
“And you, Nealy, how do you feel?” the doctor asked, taking a step back from the chair.
“Scared out of my wits. I'm afraid to look into the mirror.”
“You do remember what I told you about your expectations, don't you?”
“Yes, I remember. I remember every single word. Can I see now?”
“The mirror, Maline.” The nurse reached for a large mirror with a bright blue handle. She handed it to the doctor who in turn handed it to Nealy.
Nealy stared at her red face. It was her, but it wasn't her. Her scarred fingers reached up to touch first her nose and then her cheeks. Both were smooth to the touch, but she already knew that. “I don't think Gabby will be afraid of me, Doctor. You exceeded my expectations. I don't know what to say. I need to say something. I'm sorry for my anger. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for your marvelous skill. It doesn't seem enough to say thank you.”
“It is enough, Nealy. It is what I do. Everyone I operate on is not as fortunate as you. I know it wasn't easy. In time some of the redness will disappear. It will never go away entirely. The makeup works wonders. We will send you home with a generous supply. This afternoon one of my nurses will teach you how to apply it. A total makeover if you like. A hairstylist will also be here this afternoon to add the finishing touches. Tomorrow you can go home.”
Nealy froze in the chair. “Tomorrow? So soon? I don't know . . . I'm not sure . . .”
“Mr. Tanner is on his way as we speak. He said he made a promise to you to deliver you back to your home safe and sound. You will leave tomorrow at ten in the morning.”
“But . . . my bill . . . I haven't called anyone. You want me to surprise them, is that it? Don't you think I need a few days to . . . you know . . . get used to looking in a mirror? I think I need . . .”
“A surprise is a wonderful thing. Think how happy everyone will be to see you. Your bill was paid in full the day you arrived by Mr. Tanner. And no, you do not need any more time. That's a polite way of saying we need your accommodations for someone else who needs my help.”
“Oh, well, that's different. I understand, Doctor. Thank you for everything.”
“Have a good life, Nealy Clay,” Dr. Vinh said, shaking her hand.
“Men shake hands, Dr. Vinh. Women hug.” Nealy wrapped her arms around the portly doctor and gave him a paralyzing hug. He laughed. Something she had never heard him do before. Even Maline seemed startled at the sound.
The rest of her day was spent in a frenzy. Seated in front of a portable mirror, she paid rapt attention to the nurse who instructed her on how to apply her makeup. Even she was stunned at the difference it made. She almost looked like her old self. She was no longer the hideous Halloween creature.
I'm me again. I am Nealy Clay
. She was even more convinced when they took a break for the hairstylist, who snipped and layered her curly hair. She actually looked fashionable when she was done. She felt like singing.
“I think I have it now,” she said to the nurse an hour later.
“Yes, you have done very well, Ms. Clay. I will bring you several jars to take home with you. The rest will be sent through the mail. There will be enough to last you three months at which point, call us and another shipment will be sent. We'll adjust the tint as the redness fades. You look wonderful,” she said shyly. “Can I help you with anything else?”
“No, but thank you for asking. I want to pack myself. Then I want to spend the rest of the day in the garden.”
“Very well. Ring your bell if you want anything.”
Fourteen operations and eleven skin grafts later and she was finally going home.
Thank you, God. Thank you.
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Nealy was waiting in the lobby when Cole Tanner stepped through the doors. She ran to him. “How can I ever thank you for bringing me here. How?”
“Tell me you forgive my family's stupidity. That's all I want, all my family, our family now, wants in the way of thanks.”
“I forgave you the day I walked out of the kitchen at Sunbridge. It's a new day now. Life is too short to look backward. I learned a lot here, Cole.”
“I bet you did. You look wonderful. Are you happy with the results, Nealy? Does your family know you're going home?”
“I'm delighted with the results. Truthfully, I didn't think it would turn out this well. I was prepared for the worst and, no, my family doesn't know I'm going home. I didn't know myself until yesterday. I want to surprise them.”
“I like surprises.” Cole grinned. “Time to say good-bye.”
Nealy looked around. Where was the doctor? Her eyes questioned Maline.
“Dr. Vinh is in surgery, Nealy. He said to say good-bye. I will miss you, Nealy. Have a good trip. Call me or write to me when you have time.” They hugged one another before the tiny nurse fled down the hall.
Nealy and Cole walked out into the sunshine. She turned back to raise her eyes to the second-floor surgery unit. She waved.
Sinjin Vinh stood at the window watching his patient as she walked away. Both his fists shot in the air, a wide grin stretching across his face.
“I saw that!” Maline said, entering the room. “You did well, my husband. Nealy Clay will have a good life now, thanks to you.”
“I hope so, Maline. I could do nothing for the deep sorrow in her eyes. I hope she finds the happiness she seeks. I want her to be as happy as you and I are.”
Maline smiled.