Kev (30 page)

Read Kev Online

Authors: Mark A Labbe

Tags: #scifi, #adventure, #universe, #comedy, #game, #hell, #dark comedy, #amnesia, #satan, #time travel

“If I don’t have the nightmare, how can they
use me to end all creation?”

“You do have the nightmare, but you don’t
remember it. All this time, Clive has believed that you would have
to remember the nightmare for his plan to work, but now he believes
that isn’t true, so he is trying to catch you.”

“Won’t he think to find me here?” I said,
suddenly quite alarmed, wondering at the same time who this Clive
fellow was and why I didn’t remember him.

“You have time, but you will have to leave
soon. You have to figure things out. You have to figure out how to
stop Clive.”

“How do I do that?” I said.

“I don’t know, but it is what you have to
do.”

“Well, I have nowhere to go. What should I
do?”

“Do you have the cubes?” said the girl.

I had left the cubes on my desk next to the
communications device, the only decoration I had on my desk. I had
no clue what they were and now wondered why the girl wanted to know
if I had them. “They are at home.”

“Shit. Crap. Rule twenty-one. Rule
twenty-one.”

“What?”

“It’s nothing. Look, you have to get the
cubes and you have to figure out what they do. Do you understand,
Kev? Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I guess, but won’t the Canadians be
looking for me there?”

“I’m not sure. You are going to have to find
a way. Maybe wait it out a couple of days. Go to the inn. Do you
remember it?”

Yes.”

“Good. Go there and wait. I will get you when
the coast is clear.”

“Well, can’t you just go and get the cubes
for me?”

“No, Kev. I’ve already broken enough rules.
Let’s go to the inn.”

We appeared outside of the inn. “What the
hell? How did you do that? Did you do that?”

“I did it. You can do it too if you remember
how.”

“Can you tell me how to do it?”

“No. Against the rules.”

“What rules?”

“I can’t tell you. Look, stay here. I will
come back. I shouldn’t, but I will. I hope you’re not going to be
mad at me for breaking the rules.”

“What rules? What are you talking about?”

Ignoring me, the girl said, “Look, if anyone
tries to give you a blue cube, do not touch it. Do you understand?
Never touch the blue cube. You will end up on The Show, and if you
do, B24ME is going to torture you for all eternity. Remember.”

The girl kissed me and disappeared.

 

The Cubes

Three days passed with no sign of the girl. I had not
forgotten anything, and thanked God for that, praying I would be
able to keep my memories, desperately afraid of being responsible
for the end of all creation.

I wondered if the Canadians had captured the
girl and thought I might have to risk going to my house to retrieve
the cubes. I waited another day before making my attempt.

I walked back to my house, staying within the
woods, out of sight of the road. When I reached my house, I stayed
in the woods for an hour, watching the house, making sure nobody
was there.

I entered through the window I had come out
of days before and grabbed the cubes, pocketing them. Then I
started climbing out of the window, stopping myself before I exited
the house. What if the girl had sent me a message?

I climbed back in and checked my messages.
There were at least a thousand messages about the Flogulator, which
I ignored. There was one message from the girl. It read, “I love
you, Kev. Be safe. I’m sorry I couldn’t come back. Stupid
rules.”

I heard a noise in the house and quickly
scrambled out of the window. I ran back into the woods and headed
back toward the inn, thinking I would hole up there and try to
figure out what these cubes were.

A minute or so later, I arrived, still in the
woods and unwilling to leave the woods. A black SUV with a red
maple leaf painted on the front door was parked outside the inn. I
could see two men in black, both with red maple leafs painted on
their chests, both carrying guns of some sort, maybe tasers. I had
to find someplace else, someplace safe, but I was miles away from
anywhere that might offer any safety. I had to find transportation
of some sort.

I remembered a car dealership some twenty
miles from my home. If I could make it there, I could buy a car and
drive somewhere safe. I knew I had a twenty-five thousand dollar
limit on my credit card and knew that my bill was completely paid
off. That should get me something.

Five hours later, I arrived at the
dealership, having seen no sign of the Canadians. I paid twenty
grand for a bright orange compact and drove off the lot, heading
south, but to where?

I decided to go to Glastonbury, my first
home, making it there a few hours later, late in the afternoon.
There I got a room at a hotel, now confident the Canadians would
not find me.

In my room, I sat on my bed, placing the
cubes on the mattress. First, I picked up the black cube, the cube
with a button that didn’t seem to do anything. How many times had I
pressed that button? I could not remember. I pressed it once.
Nothing happened. I pressed it twice, and still nothing happened.
The girl said these were the key. This cube must have had some
purpose. I pressed the button three times and appeared in a small
city on a river. I was pretty sure I was in Peoria, having been
there once before as a child.

I realized in that moment that I had left the
clear cube and the red cube behind in my hotel room. How could I
get back to the hotel? Maybe if I pressed the button four times, it
would take me back. I pressed the button four times and felt a
little dizzy. Maybe if I pressed it five times, I thought.

“Don’t do it,” said a familiar voice, a voice
I knew as my own.

“Why?” I said.

“I don’t know, but you shouldn’t do it.”

“Whatever. What do you know, anyway?” I
pressed the button five times and blacked out, waking up in a
hospital bed thirty-seven days later. I jumped out of bed, put on
my clothes that were in a drawer in the table next to my bed, and
then teleported to the hotel in Glastonbury, to the front desk.

The young man standing behind the front desk
didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see me appear out of
nowhere. He smiled and said, “I take it you are looking for these,”
placing the red and clear cubes in front of me.”

I thanked him and immediately teleported to
my home on Uthio Minor, surprising the girl.

“Kev, what are you doing here?” said the
girl, rushing over to hug me.

“I don’t have much time. Have you seen Clive?
Where is Soph?”

“I’m right here, dad,” said Soph, behind
me.

I let go of the girl and hugged Soph,
overjoyed to see my daughter, relieved to remember her and all the
time we had spent together.

“What’s going on, Kev?” said the girl.

“I pressed the button five times,” I
said.

“I can see that. Have you figured out how to
stop Clive?”

“Not yet, but I will. Have you seen him?”

“Not for weeks. I don’t think he is going to
come here. I think he knows I am onto him.”

“Well, I know he was holed up in Canada at
the time I pressed the button five times. Before that he was all
over the place. I think he was searching for the Proth Sphere. He
might have found it, but I’m not sure.”

“So, what are you going to do, dad?” said
Soph.

“I’m not sure. Don’t you think it is just a
little odd that Clive hasn’t tried to use you two or Ruby and the
Kev’s for leverage? That seems odd to me.”

The girl gave me a funny look, saying, “Yeah,
that is odd, isn’t it? Maybe Soph and I should go get Ruby and the
boys and find somewhere to hide.”

“Good idea. Okay. I’m going now.”

“Where are you going?”

“Glastonbury. I need to look at my old
journal.”

I had told the girl about my journal before
and how I was reluctant to read it. I was reluctant no more. I knew
I had to read it, that it held the key.

“Why do you need to look at your old
journal?” said the girl.

“Because somebody named Stacy Pierson read
part of it forty days ago, an interesting part of it. I need to
find out what else is written in it.”

Return
Contestant

I teleported outside of my fort behind my old home in
Glastonbury, surprised to find a pale blue, bipedal alien with a
cigarette dangling from its mouth staring at me from inside the
fort. I knew who this alien was and I knew that there was no way on
Earth that I was going to take the blue cube from him.

“No way,” I said. “There is no way I am
taking that thing from you.”

“You really don’t have much of a choice,
Kev,” said the alien, Chit.

I searched all of my memories, looking for
some bit of information that would allow me to know what Chit
meant, but found nothing. “Why is that?” I said.

“If you don’t take the cube, you will never
see Soph again,” said Chit.

I paused before saying, “You’re lying.”

“I never lie. It is a genetic thing. Anyway,
unless you take this,” he said, holding the cube out to me, “you
will never see her again.”

None of my knowledge could help me in this
situation. I knew that if B24ME had taken Soph, it had to have been
in the last minute or so. I had none of B24ME’s knowledge from the
past thirty-seven days, so had no way of knowing if Chit was
telling the truth.

“I am going to have to verify your claim,” I
said.

“Well, you won’t. I’ll give you five seconds
to take the cube. If you don’t, you will never see Soph again,”
said Chit.

Over the next five seconds, I teleported to
thousands of locations in the universe, looking for the girl and
Soph. I could not find them anywhere, so I returned to Chit.

“So, are you going to take it or what? I
don’t have all day, you know.”

I took the cube and soon heard a familiar
voice. “Why, hello, Turd Fondler. Where have you been for the last
thirty-seven billion years?”

“Shut up, B24ME. Just tell me what the
challenge is.”

Chit disappeared and B24ME said, “Well, you
know, I’ve had quite a bit of time to think this one up, something
special, something I think you will really enjoy.”

“Just tell me what it is,” I growled.

“Patience, Turd Fondler. Let me enjoy the
moment. You know it has been more than a little frustrating waiting
for an opportunity to get you back on The Show. You can at least
give me a few moments to gloat.”

“Whatever,” I said, now looking into the fort
and seeing my journal on the table, the journal I needed to unravel
things and save all creation.

I knew B24ME wouldn’t let me get it. I
suspected he knew I wanted it and wondered if he would say anything
about it. Of course, he did. He couldn’t pass up on an opportunity
to screw with me.

“It’s right there, Kev. Why don’t you take
it? I know you want it. What do you think you’ll find? To be
honest, I would really like to read it myself. What could possibly
be scribbled inside? I would love to see inside your mind.”

I knew I could not win, so I said, “What is
the damned challenge?” I would have to come back for the journal
later, if I ever managed to get off The Show.

“Fine. You have to survive in the vacuum of
space for an hour.”

“That’s not a challenge. It’s a death
sentence. You know I could never do that without a spacesuit or
containment field or something. I take it I don’t get anything like
that, right?”

“Absolutely right you are. This isn’t really
a challenge. It is more of a goodbye. I gave up on you long ago.
Now I am going to let you die over and over, an infinity of times,
a fitting end for a less than fitting man.”

In that moment, my chief concern was that
Clive not find me while I was dying over and over in space.

“You know, if Clive finds me, something
terrible is going to happen.”

“Trust me, he will never find you. You are
going to be teleporting to a random location in the universe every
second. Clive will never be able to find you, so at least you don’t
have to worry about the end of all creation. That is what you’re
worried about, isn’t it?”

“Where is Soph?”

“How should I know? You know, you should keep
better track of things. If you did, you wouldn’t get trapped on The
Show.”

“So, you don’t have her?”

“Of course not. I would never do something
like that. You should know better. However, I did kind of break the
rules.”

I tried to teleport away, but found I could
not. B24ME had some hold on me.

“You are a real bastard, you know that?” I
said, ignoring B24ME’s reference to the rules. I was sick of
hearing about the rules.

“Well, you hired me to be a real bastard. You
should be happy I’m doing such an excellent job.”

I found myself in space, exposed to extreme
cold and vacuum. The scene shifted every second as I teleported to
a different location in the universe. I died within twenty seconds.
Each time I came back to life, breathless, but healed, I died even
faster than the previous time. I tried to teleport away over and
over, but found I could not do that, still held by B24ME.

I died an uncountable number of times, each
time I died, losing part of my memory, until there was little left
of me. I forgot who I was. I forgot the girl, Clive, Soph and all
of the others. I wasn’t even sure I existed. Who was I? I felt a
vibration in my pocket. What was I? The vibration continued. I had
no answers other than this one. I thought, “I am.”

I stopped dying, now unaffected by this
hostile environment, having no need to breathe and no sensitivity
to the coldness of space. I felt memories returning to me slowly,
bits and pieces that I could not quite connect. Years passed, then
decades and centuries, my memories slowly returning. Tens of
thousands of years passed before I knew who I was. Thirty-seven
million years passed before I remembered my purpose and remembered
how to teleport, now teleporting myself to Glastonbury, outside of
my fort back in two thousand sixteen, B24ME having released me from
whatever hold he had on me.

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