“
Is there a chance for us
now?”
She turned away from him.
Her face felt like it was on fire. She wanted to blurt out that
she’d love to go out with him, but she knew that she’d never do it.
She planned to shove her feelings for Garett as far down as they
would go. She didn’t know how easy that was going to be though.
This easy flirtation between them had become the norm. If she
stopped returning his casual flirtation, she was sure that he would
know something was up with her. And the last thing she wanted was
for Garett to find out how she really felt about him.
“
Did I make you
uncomfortable darlin’?”
There was both a teasing and
a cocky quality to his voice. He sounded so much like Gavin
sometimes that she had to stop herself from calling him Gavin.
Falling in love with Garett almost felt like falling in love with
Gavin all over again and it made her want to run away from her
unwanted emotions even more.
Though physically Gavin had been much
more her type than Garett was. He was barely taller than her at
5’11 and more wiry than big like Gavin was. Gavin was 6’3 and 200
pounds of solid muscle. Garett had grown into a handsome man, but
she normally preferred her men to be bigger so she didn’t feel so
damned big herself.
She turned back to Garett,
hoping that the last traces of blush had left her cheeks. She
rolled her eyes at him, and then forced herself to look directly
into the frank beauty of his hazel eyes. Sometimes he looked at her
in a way that made her think he wanted her. But he had spent so
many years trying to mimic Gavin that she could never really be
sure when Garett was being serious and when he was just putting on
the cocky airs that his older brother had worn so well, constantly
flirting whether he meant it or not.
“
Give me a break Garett. You
don’t play the game as well as Gavin does. And why would you want
to anyway? We both know that Gavin can be the world’s biggest
jerk.”
“
He’s my brother Acasia.
Maybe he can be an ass, but deep down he’s really a good
guy.”
“
Okay, so I admit that Gavin
does have redeeming qualities, but he made the choice to run away
from everything without bothering to tell anyone why. You’re
different Garett. You’re more like Jay, steady and
reliable.”
Garett sighed. “Steady and
reliable is so boring. How am I ever going to catch your eye when
the last thing you seem to want is steady and reliable?”
Acasia snorted. “Are you
kidding me Gar? I learned the hard way that bad boys aren’t all
they’re cracked up to be. I’m almost thirty. I don’t want to have
to worry about thinking that I found the right man, getting
pregnant and then finding out that my man thinks that he deserves
to have his cake and eat it too. Jay is devoted. How did Nikki get
so damned lucky?”
“
Jay’s pretty damned lucky
himself. I don’t think anyone ever argued about who the hottest
girls in town were. Stop talking like you’re an old lady Cas. I
could be devoted if you wanted me to be.”
He fluttered his long eye lashes at
her. He used to do the same thing when he was trying to sweet talk
her into something when they were kids, whether it was sharing her
candy or snacks with him since his parents were health food nuts
and never kept any unhealthy food in the house, or his later
attempts to convince her to teach him to French kiss.
She had to turn away from
him again when she thought of the day he had talked her into
teaching him to kiss with his tongue. It had been right after Gavin
had left town, she’d been depressed and had accepted an older
friend’s invitation to get drunk. She was still a little hazy on
how she had ended up at the Blacks’, but it had led to a make-out
session with Garett in the basement.
He had been a quick learner,
and had been much better at French kissing by the end of their
teaching session than some of her early boyfriends had been. Those
had been the only the kisses they had ever shared and she’d been
mortified that she had done such a thing afterwards, but the
reality had always been that she was even more embarrassed about
how kissing Garett had made her feel than she had been that she’d
given in and kissed her ex’s youngest brother.
She took a deep breath and
let it out before she turned back to him, wondering how much longer
she was going to be able to take the agony of being near him. She
had had so many dirty thoughts about Garett in the last few weeks
that she was sure it had to be written all over her face every time
she looked at him.
She didn’t want to feel this
way, but she was beginning to think that the only way she was going
to get away from her budding feelings for Garett would be to run
away from him. She pondered the idea that Gavin had indeed run away
from a woman just to take her mind off of the handsome man in front
of her, and quickly banished the unwanted idea that it WAS her
little sister that he had run away from.
Garett was giving her an amused grin.
“Earth to Acasia. Were you picturing me naked again?”
“
Enough. I’m going to start
calling you Gavin the second if you don’t start remembering that
you have a personality of your own.” She gave him a tight smile.
“What can I get for you Mr. Black?”
He faked a wounded look. “You’re cold
woman.” Then he brightened. “But it’s the ones that seem so cold
that are so hot in bed isn’t it?”
She shook her head at him,
hoping her cheeks weren’t red yet again. He was driving her crazy
and she could see that he was enjoying it. “Stop it or I’ll have
you banned and you’ll have to learn to cook.”
“
I know how to cook. I know
how to do many things, very well.” He winked.
“
Garett Elijah Black, I
swear if you don’t stop, I’m going to call your mother and tell her
all about the way you’ve been talking to me.”
“
Must you forever remind me
that our families were so entwined that you not only witnessed
practically every awkward teenage drama that I put myself through,
but that my mother loves you and all of your sisters like you were
her own daughters? If any other woman made that threat to me, it
wouldn’t hold water because my Mama doesn’t trust just any woman,
especially when it comes to where her sons are concerned. But you
Acasia, she would trust every word that came out of your mouth,
exaggerated or not.”
“
I wouldn’t need to
exaggerate now would I Garett? What can I get for you tonight, now
that you’ve managed to take up so much of my time that you owe me
the tip for two or three tables?”
“
I will take my usual
beautiful. Pardon me, now that you’ve threatened to tell my mother
on me, I suppose I can’t even call you beautiful now can
I?”
She rolled her eyes at him
and walked away, glad to be away from him. He really did drive her
nuts, especially when he was doing his best to hide behind the
façade that Gavin had put on so well.
Gavin had never taken anything
seriously. He certainly hadn’t taken their relationship seriously.
He hadn’t been unfaithful to her, but he had broken up with her out
of nowhere and had never really given her an explanation as to why
he had done so. Then shortly after he had disappeared without a
word to anyone. It had made her think that there had always been
another woman on his mind, even if he hadn’t gone so far as to
actually cheat on her.
She tried not to let her
mind drift back to the past as she quickly made her way through the
rest of the tables in her section, but it was hard not to. She had
often gotten the feeling that something had happened between Gavin
and Demi before his unexpected departure, and it had always
bothered her. Demi had been more than a little naïve, and had
seemed even younger than her age. It bugged the hell out of Acasia
to think that Gavin had taken advantage of her. Though it was
unlikely to hear her openly admit her adoration, Demi had always
looked up to the eldest Black brother in a way that was almost akin
to hero worship.
Acasia had been asked one
morning to retrieve Demi’s forgotten homework assignment from her
bedroom and had stumbled across a picture of Gavin. He was smiling
at the person taking the picture in a way that he had never smiled
at her. Acasia had always known that Demi had been the one holding
the camera and that whatever had happened between them, Gavin had
shared something with Demi that he had never shared with
her.
So her feelings for Garett were made
even more uncomfortable by the nagging voice at the back of her
mind that told her she had never gotten over Gavin and that she was
just trying to find a suitable substitute. Her mind raced with
confusion as she picked up Garett’s food from the window, and she
wondered again if it wouldn’t be easier to run away from it
all.
Garett’s grin faded when she approached
him. “You look like you’ve got storm clouds in those beautiful eyes
of yours. I didn’t really upset you did I? If I did, I’m
sorry.”
She forced an uneasy laugh.
“Don’t flatter yourself Gar. You know I’d never let YOU get to
me.”
“
Funny Acasia. Seriously,
are you okay? I know it sucks to live at home with your mom, but I
think it would be preferable to living with mine.” He winked at
her.
She could tell that he was
trying to lighten the mood, but she wasn’t in the mood to continue
with their usual flirting. She made an excuse and quickly excused
herself since the restaurant had chosen the perfect time to get
busy. She had to stop herself from breathing a sigh of relief as
she walked away from him, and cursed herself for how much she was
letting him get to her.
It was even more obvious
that night when she fell asleep as his face was the last thing she
saw in her mind before she closed her eyes. She woke up sweaty, and
feeling like her cheeks were on fire as well, having had a vivid
dream of making love to Garett. But it had only ended up making her
mind even more conflicted since she had called him Gavin in the
dream.
She sighed as she got out of bed. She
wished again that Gavin had given her some kind of explanation when
he had broken it off with her. Then maybe her mind wouldn’t cling
so stubbornly to the memory of him, forever wondering if she could
have done something differently. She had been so convinced then
that he was the one for her, that they would get married and have
gorgeous children. Then again she had thought the same of Colton
and that certainly hadn’t turned out like she had planned
either.
She used the restroom and
then took a quick shower, glad that she didn’t have to work that
day and that she wouldn’t have to face Garett, but wondering what
she was going to do to occupy her time. Her mother would come up
with something for them to do together, probably already had, but
with as much as Acasia loved her mother, she couldn’t take her
mother’s motherliness today. She had too damned much on her mind,
and her mother always seemed to know when something was bothering
her, whether it was something she wanted to discuss or
not.
Her mother was an early
riser and she knew that Heather Brown was probably in the kitchen,
preparing the “real” breakfast she had always insisted on them
eating while growing up, consisting of eggs and toast, sausage or
bacon, hash browns and some sort of fruit. The sisters had often
joked while growing up that they wished their mother would work
outside the home so they would be able to eat a bowl of cereal for
breakfast every now and then. But Heather Brown had always been
involved in activities outside the home, various women’s clubs,
volunteering, PTA, etc. and probably would still have managed to
get up at 5:00 in the morning to prepare what she considered a
proper breakfast for her family even if she had worked outside the
home.
Feeling like a teenager
sneaking out for a midnight rendezvous with her boyfriend, and more
than a little silly since it was eight o’clock in the morning and
she was hardly a teenager, Acasia pondered her window. The girls
had been lucky enough to sleep in the basement rather than the
second story with their parents, making their windows somewhat
easier to escape through; but the windows were small and Acasia’s
had been a tight fit for her even then. She figured she had
probably gained ten pounds since high school, and while she was
grateful that it hadn’t been more, she knew that the added weight
certainly wasn’t going to make her chances of slipping out her
window any better.
She shook her head at
herself and sighed, feeling like an idiot for thinking of climbing
out her window. She felt a little bitchy for wanting to avoid her
mother, but she was so tense that she figured she was going to buy
a pack of cigarettes. She knew that it wouldn’t help her quit, but
she’d been so on edge lately that she’d almost pondered the idea of
smoking a joint, an idea she hadn’t entertained since her early
college days. Suddenly the phone rang upstairs and Acasia found her
way out.
She grabbed her shoes and
her purse and crept up the stairs, knowing well from experience the
spots to avoid. The only phone in the house was in the upstairs
hallway so that no one would be tempted to pick it up during
dinner. She wasn’t sure why her mother had never added another
extension, but she was glad that she was able to avoid her as she
slipped out the kitchen door.