Authors: Beth Goobie
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, #JUV000000
But Darren had said that Mom and Dad were afraid of me too. Maybe he was right. They sounded angry, but maybe most of their anger was pain, like mine. Did I want all my time with my parents to be like the past — full of hurting and yelling? They’d never slapped me around or anything like that. I started to wonder if this was a family that could be fixed.
So, on the last Saturday in May, I picked up the phone and called my parents. It felt strange. Since I’d left, they’d called me but I hadn’t called them once. I got Dad, halfway through reading the morning paper.
“Dime?” he said. His voice had a funny wobble in it.
I mumbled, “Dad. I was wondering…”
Suddenly, I didn’t know what to say. When you need it the most, English seems to turn into a foreign language.
“Yes?” he asked after a long pause.
“Would you and Mom like to come over for supper? I promise I won’t make hamburgers,” I said quickly. I knew I had to get off the phone fast. My brain was headed for a major blank.
“How about tonight?” he asked.
“Tonight?” I squeaked. This was going too fast. I’d been thinking maybe Christmas, so I could work up to it.
“We’re free tonight,” said Dad, sounding excited.
I swallowed. Tonight.
“Um, okay,” I said.
“We’ll bring dessert,” he said cheerfully and hung up.
Darren and I worked all afternoon on macaroni and cheese. He figured out the recipe while I did the hard labour. It was lucky he was in charge of the thinking part, because I kept blanking out. Just before five, I looked
at him and said, “My stomach hurts.”
“What are you worried about?” Darren asked.
What was the first thing?
I wondered.
“Should I take out my nose ring?” I asked.
“D’you like wearing it?” Darren asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Then wear it,” he shrugged.
The buzzer went at 5:30. I opened the door. My parents stepped in and stood there as if they were afraid to move.
They are afraid
, I thought.
Afraid this isn’t going to work
.
I didn’t step forward and give them a Walt Disney hug and kiss. But I took their coats and hung them up — even in May, my parents wear coats. Mom had brought an apple pie and ice cream. With a nervous smile, she asked if she could put the ice cream into the fridge. It made me think of Gabe. And seeing how nervous they were made me less nervous. After all, they were visitors in my home!
“Sure, Mom,” I smiled.
They didn’t stare at my nose ring, though they took a few runs at it with their eyes. And they sure perked up when I told them I was studying. They even handled the bike lessons with Larry all right.
Who are these people?
I thought.
Surely not my parents!
But then, I wasn’t yelling at them either. They were probably wondering when I’d had the brain transplant.
“Would you like more coffee?” I asked, standing up.
Dad looked at me and smiled. Suddenly his eyes were getting red, as if he was about to cry.
“Could you sit down a minute, please, Dime?” he asked.
My heart started going like a heavy metal concert. I sat.
“Dime, we want you to move back home,” Dad said.
Mom played with her wedding ring. “The house is so quiet without you,” she said.
“Maybe we could figure out something that would work for all of us. A 9 p.m. curfew
is too early on Fridays,” Dad said.
“We just wanted to make sure you passed Grade 10,” Mom added.
“I am passing,” I said.
Without a curfew
, I added to myself.
“But you weren’t before,” Mom said quickly.
“Y’know why?” I asked.
My chin went up and I looked her in the eye. Mom blinked but she kept looking at me.
“Why?” she asked quietly.
“I wondered what you’d do if I flunked out,” I said.
Mom looked as if I’d hit her. So did Dad.
“Or what you’d do if I wore a nose ring. Or if I dated Gabe,” I went on. Things were making more and more sense as I talked.
Mom and Dad glanced at each other, then down. They were actually listening to me!
“I figured you were looking for a reason to kick me out. You seemed so tired of me all the time,” I said.
“We didn’t kick you out. Darren offered his place for a while. Until you worked
things out,” Dad said.
I stared at Darren in shock. Was
he
going to kick me out now — back to Mom and Dad?
“That’s not what I said, Dad. I said Dime could come and live with me. And that’s for good, if she wants to. I’d like that,” said Darren. He smiled at me.
Tears stung my eyes. I took a deep breath and smiled back. I couldn’t have handled it if Darren had said he was sending me back to Mom and Dad. But he hadn’t. He’d said this was my home.
It felt like home.
“You sound as if you think we hate you,” Mom said. She played with her coffee cup.
“We don’t hate you,” Dad added quickly.
It was a far cry from saying “We love you,” but I guess that doesn’t come quickly. At least we could sit at the same table now and talk — without yelling.
“I like living with Darren. I’m doing okay here. I’m making good decisions,” I said.
“And she’s a great cook,” Darren said. I’d made chili the night before.
“But we’re your parents — you should live with your parents,” Mom said.
“I don’t want to get rid of you. I still want my Mom and Dad. But this is where I’m doing okay — with my brother. I want to stay here,” I said.
There was a long pause while Mom and Dad stared at the wall.
“Well, you do seem to be doing better. And Darren has company now,” Dad said finally.
“And Dime’s a great cook!” Darren repeated.
“You will come to visit? And talk to us on the phone?” Mom asked.
“If you take me out for dinner on my birthday,” I grinned weakly.
Everyone smiled then. It was a smile with some sadness. I guess we realized we’d never be the picture-perfect family. But there were other ways of getting along. Maybe we could find what worked for us.
Chapter Ten
Well, I did it — passed everything, though math came in at fifty-three percent. And when I got an A on my driver’s exam, my parents looked relieved. Mom even got on the back of the secondhand Kawasaki Ninja that Darren bought me. Then I drove her up and down the alley. She just about cut off my air hanging onto me. When I suggested she come along on our trip, she went white
and leaned against the fence. It was a major blank for her. Twenty kilometers per hour on the back of a bike was a big step.
Then I took Dad for a spin. He wanted to ride all over, even out of the city — at the speed limit. When I brought him back, he took off the helmet I’d loaned him, and handed it to me. The hair he combs over his bald spot stood up with excitement. He got all stiff for a moment. Then he pushed his hand toward me. It landed on my shoulder like a grenade.
“Dime, you’re a good driver. I’m proud of you,” he said.
A smile cut through my face. It had been so long since I’d smiled — really smiled — around my parents. It just about wrecked my face.
“Thanks, Dad,” I beamed.
I practiced driving around with Larry and my brother. Darren rode in Larry’s sidecar. At first, he wanted to stop every five minutes to look at this and that. It was like taking your grandmother to a garage sale.
Darren kept pointing at everything and rocking in his seat, taking a hairy if I kept going.
“Darren, if you do this on our trip, we’ll never get to California,” I complained.
He thought this was a great joke. “Just drive a little closer to those blue flowers,” he grinned.
Darren is really into plants … and opening bottles with his teeth. That’s my engineer brother!
My sixteenth birthday came the last week of school. Mom and Dad took Darren, Tiff and me out for dinner. They gave me a helmet called a Skull Cap. After dinner, I loaded Tiff onto the back of the Ninja, and we left the family behind. I’d passed my license that afternoon and it was my first time driving alone. We cruised Winnipeg for hours and dropped in on a few house parties. Not for long, though. I’d get to a party and all I’d want to do was stare out the window at my bike. Tiff finally got tired of cruising, so I took off on my own. There I was — just me and the road and the huge night sky. Sixteen
was going to be one great year!
Darren and I finally got our things packed for California. Mom and Dad stood next to Tiff to watch us roar out of the parking lot. By now, we could hug and kiss and say “I love you” again. It felt good. My whole life felt good.
Dad hugged me. Then he said, “Now, you listen to Darren. He’s your older brother.”
I got stiff.
Dad grinned at Darren. “Now, you listen to your sister. She knows how to drive and cook.”
Darren and I both laughed.
“We’re looking forward to you coming back,” Mom told me. Then she even tugged on my nose ring!
Driving out of the city, I was on such a high. I think I was traveling faster than the bike. Then I saw a 7-Eleven up ahead. I signaled to Larry and Darren and pulled into the parking lot. A group of kids was sitting around Gabe’s bike, admiring his biceps. Larry pulled his Harley up beside me. As I took
off my Skull Cap, Gabe’s eyes bugged.
“Hi,” I grinned.
“Awk,” he said.
“Just wanted to wish you a good summer,” I said.
“Huh?” he asked.
“We’re on our way to California. Right, Darren?” I asked my brother.
“Right, Dime,” he replied.
I put my Skull Cap back on. My life sure had changed. I could have been spending the summer in this parking lot with Gabe, going nowhere. But now I had better things to do. I reached over and touched Darren’s hand.
“Thanks,” I said.
And then, we were off.
Table of Contents