King John & Henry VIII (46 page)

CHANCELLOR
    Then thus for you, my lord: it stands agreed,

    
I take it, by all voices, that forthwith

    You be conveyed to th’Tower a prisoner,

    There to remain till the king’s further pleasure

    Be known unto us: are you all agreed, lords?

ALL
    We are.

CRANMER
    Is there no other way of mercy,

    But I must needs to th’Tower, my lords?

GARDINER
    What other

    Would you expect? You are strangely troublesome:

    Let some o’th’guard be ready there.

CRANMER
    For me?

    Must I go like a traitor thither?

GARDINER
    
Receive
¹⁵⁶
him,

    And see him
safe
¹⁵⁷
i’th’Tower.

CRANMER
    Stay, good my lords,

    I have a little yet to say. Look there, my lords,

    By virtue of that ring, I take my cause

    Out of the
gripes
¹⁶¹
of cruel men, and give it

    To a most noble judge, the king my master.

CHAMBERLAIN
¹⁶³
    This is the king’s ring.

SURREY
    ’Tis no counterfeit.

SUFFOLK
    ’Tis the right ring, by heaven: I told ye all,

    When we first put this dangerous stone a-rolling,

    ’Twould fall upon ourselves.

NORFOLK
    Do you think, my lords,

    The king will suffer but the little finger

    Of this man to be vexed?

CHAMBERLAIN
    ’Tis now too certain:

    How much more is his life
in value with him
¹⁷²
?

    Would I were fairly out
on’t
¹⁷³
.

CROMWELL
    My mind
gave
¹⁷⁴
me,

    In seeking tales and
informations
¹⁷⁵

    
Against this man, whose honesty the devil

    And his disciples only envy at,

    Ye blew the fire that burns ye: now have at ye!

GARDINER
    Dread sovereign, how much are we bound to heaven

    In daily thanks, that gave us such a prince,

    Not only good and wise, but most religious:

    One that, in all obedience, makes the Church

    The chief
aim
¹⁸³
of his honour and, to strengthen

    That holy duty out of
dear respect
¹⁸⁴
,

    His royal self in judgement comes to hear

    The cause betwixt her and this great offender.

KING HENRY VIII
    You were ever good at
sudden
¹⁸⁷
commendations,

    Bishop of Winchester. But know I come not

    To hear such flattery now, and in my presence

    
They
¹⁹⁰
are too thin and base to hide offences:

    To me you cannot reach. You play the spaniel,

    And think with wagging of your tongue to win me:

    But whatsoe’er thou tak’st me for, I’m sure

    Thou hast a cruel nature and a
bloody
¹⁹⁴
.—

    Good man, sit down.— Now let me see the proudest

    
He
¹⁹⁶
, that dares most, but wag his finger at thee.

    By all that’s holy, he had better
starve
¹⁹⁷

    Than but once think his place becomes thee not.

SURREY
    May it please your grace—

KING HENRY VIII
    No, sir, it does not please me.

    I had thought I had had men of some understanding

    And wisdom of my council, but I find none.

    Was it
discretion
²⁰³
, lords, to let this man,

    This good man — few of you deserve that title —

    This honest man, wait like a lousy footboy

    At chamber door? And one as great as you are?

    
Why, what a shame was this? Did my commission

    Bid ye so far forget yourselves? I gave ye

    Power as he was a councillor to
try
²⁰⁹
him,

    Not as a groom. There’s some of ye, I see,

    More out of malice than integrity,

    Would try him to the utmost, had ye
mean
²¹²
,

    Which ye shall never have while I live.

CHANCELLOR
    Thus far,

    My most dread sovereign, may it
like
²¹⁵
your grace

    To let my tongue excuse all. What was
purposed
²¹⁶

    Concerning his imprisonment, was rather —

    If there be faith in men — meant for his trial,

    And fair
purgation
²¹⁹
to the world than malice,

    I’m sure, in me.

KING HENRY VIII
    Well, well, my lords, respect him:

    Take him, and
use
²²²
him well: he’s worthy of it.

    I will say thus much for him: if a prince

    May be beholding to a subject, I

    Am for his love and service so to him.

    Make me no more
ado
²²⁶
, but all embrace him:

    Be friends, for shame, my lords.— My lord of Canterbury,

    I have a suit which you must not deny me:

    That is, a fair young maid that yet
wants
²²⁹
baptism:

    You must be godfather, and answer for her.

CRANMER
    The greatest monarch now alive may glory

    In such an honour: how may I deserve it

    That am a poor and humble subject to you?

KING HENRY VIII
    Come, come, my lord, you’d spare your
spoons
²³⁴
:

    you shall have two noble partners with you: the old Duchess

    of Norfolk, and Lady Marquess Dorset: will these please you?

    Once more, my lord of Winchester, I charge you

    Embrace and love this man.

GARDINER
    With a true heart

    And brother-love I do it.

CRANMER
    And let heaven

    Witness how dear I hold this confirmation.

KING HENRY VIII
    Good man, those joyful tears show thy true heart:

    The common
voice
²⁴⁴
, I see, is verified

    Of thee, which says thus: ‘Do my lord of Canterbury

    A
shrewd
²⁴⁶
turn, and he’s your friend for ever.’

    Come, lords, we trifle time away: I long

    To have this young one made a Christian.

    As I have made ye
one
²⁴⁹
, lords, one remain:

    So I grow stronger, you more honour gain.

PORTER
    You’ll
leave
¹
your noise anon, ye rascals:

    do you take the court for
Paris Garden
? Ye
rude
²

    slaves, leave your
gaping
³
.

[VOICE] WITHIN
    Good master porter, I
belong to
⁴
th’larder.

PORTER
    Belong to th’gallows, and be hanged, ye rogue! Is

    this a place to roar in?— Fetch me a dozen
crab-tree
⁶
staves,

    and strong ones:
these
are but
switches
⁷
to ’em.—

    I’ll
scratch
⁸
your heads: you must be seeing

    christenings? Do you look for ale and cakes here, you rude

    rascals?

MAN
    Pray, sir, be patient: ’tis as much impossible,

    Unless we sweep ’em from the door with cannons,

    To scatter ’em, as ’tis to make ’em sleep

    
On
May-day morning
¹⁴
, which will never be:

    We may as well push against
Paul’s
¹⁵
, as stir ’em.

PORTER
    How got they in,
and be hanged
¹⁶
?

MAN
    Alas, I know not: how gets the tide in?

    As much as one sound cudgel of four foot —

    You see the poor remainder — could distribute,

    I
made no spare
²⁰
, sir.

PORTER
    You did nothing, sir.

MAN
    I am not
Samson
, nor
Sir Guy, nor Colbrand
²²
,

    To mow ’em down before me: but if I spared any

    That had a head to hit, either young or old,

    He or she,
cuckold
²⁵
or cuckold-maker,

    Let me ne’er hope to see a
chine
²⁶
again,

    And that I would not
for a cow
²⁷
, God save her!

[VOICE] WITHIN
    Do you hear, master porter?

PORTER
    I shall be with you
presently
, good master
puppy
²⁹
.—

    Keep the door
close
,
sirrah
³⁰
.

MAN
    What would you have me do?

PORTER
    What should you do, but knock ’em down by

    th’dozens? Is this
Moorfields
to
muster
³³
in? Or have we some

    
strange
Indian
with the
great tool
³⁴
come to court, the women

    so besiege us? Bless me, what a
fry
³⁵
of fornication is at door!

    On my Christian conscience, this one christening will beget a

    thousand: here will be father, godfather, and all together.

MAN
    The
spoons
³⁸
will be the bigger, sir. There is a fellow

    somewhat near the door, he should be a
brazier
³⁹
by his face,

    
for, o’my conscience twenty of the
dog-days
now reign
in’s
⁴⁰

    nose: all that stand about him are
under the line
⁴¹
, they need

    no other penance: that
fire-drake
⁴²
did I hit three times on the

    head, and three times was his nose
discharged
⁴³
against me:

    he stands there like a
mortar-piece
, to
blow us
⁴⁴
. There was a

    
haberdasher
’s wife of small wit near him, that
railed upon
⁴⁵

    me till her
pinked
porringer
fell off her head, for
kindling
⁴⁶

    such a combustion in the state. I missed the
meteor
⁴⁷
once,

    and hit that woman, who cried out
‘Clubs!’
⁴⁸
, when I might see

    from far some forty
truncheoners
draw to her
succour
⁴⁹
,

    which were the
hope o’th’Strand
, where she
was quartered
⁵⁰
.

    They
fell on
: I
made good
my place: at length they
came to
⁵¹

    th’broomstaff to me: I defied ’em still, when suddenly a file of

    boys behind ’em,
loose shot
⁵³
, delivered such a shower of

    pebbles, that I was
fain
⁵⁴
to draw mine honour in, and let ’em

    win the
work
⁵⁵
: the devil was amongst ’em, I think, surely.

PORTER
    These are the
youths
⁵⁶
that thunder at a playhouse,