Kingdom Come (13 page)

“Do you think anyone we know is left out there?” Danny asked. “Or is everybody just dead?”

That type of question should have made me cry. The thought of everyone I’d ever known, gone, should have reduced me to tears. Instead, after the week we’d had, nothing really affected me anymore.

“I’d rather not think about that anymore,” Haven said. “I hated my parents when they threw me into Sunrise, but the thought of what they probably went through?” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I can’t stand it. So, let’s focus on what’s in front of us. What do we do?”

Nate turned, glaring at the four of us before sitting at the mouth of the cave. Danny’s words from earlier in the week played over and over in my mind.
No loyalty there.
Truer words had never been spoken. He was treating us like we were the enemies. I wondered what happened to make him so angry at . . . well, everything.

Ethan shifted beside me, and lay back on the ground. He winced, trying to get comfortable. I followed his lead and lay down next to him. I immediately realized why he winced—the ground was hard as rock and freezing. So, this was my life now: sleeping on the cold floor of a damp cave while the world burned around us. Ethan lifted an arm, and I scooted into his side. Reality sucked. But he made it a little better.

“Now?” He wrapped his arm around me before kissing the top of my head. “We rest. We recuperate—again. And when it’s safe, we get back on the road.”

The road. I hated the freakin’ road.

~*o*~

I woke with a start during the night, covered in sweat and panting even though the cave was freezing. My nightmares had returned with a vengeance. I hadn’t had one in over a week, and I’d nearly forgotten just how terrifying they were. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to calm my nerves, my heavy breaths echoing in the small space.
No luck
.

I looked around. Haven and Danny were still out cold, oblivious to my state of panic. Danny had his arm tossed across her stomach, which made me smile a little. A week ago, I never would have imagined him to be the sweet type. Of course, I’d learned an awful lot since then.

I vaguely made out Nate, who was curled up on the ground just ahead of us. But Ethan . . .  I whipped my head from side-to-side, then jumped up to look behind me. There was no sign of him anywhere.
Damn it.
I made a beeline for the cave’s opening, stopping short when I remembered why we were here in the first place. Cautiously, I poked my head outside to glance up at the sky. All seemed quiet. Despite the burning smell lingering in the air, there was no sign of the fire that drove us into hiding. And still no sign of Ethan.

I groaned, my anxiety rising. The mere thought of him disappearing, of not being around anymore, was like a stab in the gut. We’d been together day in and day out, and I couldn’t imagine trying to take another step down that road without him. I was hooked on that boy—there was no denying it. Whether or not that was a good thing was yet to be determined, but I didn’t want to find out by having him ripped away cold turkey. I looked down at my wrist, where the bracelet he gave me was still tied. No guy had ever given me a present, let alone something so thoughtful. Having feelings for a guy like Ethan—someone who put me before himself so often—couldn’t be wrong. There was no way.

I took one tentative step outside, then another until I stood on the narrow dirt path running in front of the cave. “Damn you, Ethan,” I muttered, struggling to see in the darkness. “Where are you?”

“Right here.”

I yelped and whirled around. He walked toward me with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I slapped a hand over my chest, having to catch my breath yet again. “Not cool,” I said. “I’m going to have a heart attack before the night’s over.”

“Sorry.” He stopped, and even in the darkness, I saw the smile tugging at his lips. “Want to talk? Away from the others, I mean. I found a place with a little more privacy.”

I very nearly melted at the sight of that smile. “Sure.”

He held out his hand, and I grabbed it as he turned back toward the cave. He headed for the side of it, and only then did I notice the tiny,
tiny
path leading up to the cliff’s overlook. I planted my feet in the dirt, shaking my head as my pulse skyrocketed.
Oh, hell no.

“Hey,” he said. He drew me closer until I stood flush against him, and if he didn’t hear the steady
thump-thump-thump
of my heart, he had to have felt it. “You trust me?”

Though my head was spinning, I managed to whisper, “Of course,” because I did trust him. With everything.

With my hand in his, I followed him up the patch of dirt, ignoring the voice screaming that I’d probably plummet to my death at any second. He walked slowly, gripping my hand tightly until we stood above the cave, overlooking miles of destroyed forests whose remains still burned.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “Found the path and decided to scope things out.”

“Alone?”

He shrugged. “Haven’t exactly had much alone time lately. The quiet was kind of nice.”
Ouch.
As if sensing the sting of his words, he groaned. “I didn’t mean that as rude as it sounded. Sorry. I’m just . . .” He dropped my hand and rubbed his face. “I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. So, what are you doing awake?”

I tapped my head. “Nightmares. Story of my life. Then I woke up and saw you were gone, so . . . yeah. Here I am. I was scared something had happened to you.”

He grinned. “Thanks for coming to my rescue.” He sat on the ground, allowing his legs to dangle over the side of the cliff. I sat just behind him because there was no way my legs were getting within inches of the edge. Walking up here was enough excitement for me.

“Well, you’re always rescuing me, it seems.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. There was a light breeze blowing, but it was nothing compared to a normal December night in . . . wherever we were. It was hard to remember anything anymore. “You know, for once, I’d kind of like to be the hero. Despite what you guys may think, I’m not some damsel in distress. I may be a little whacked in the head, but I’m not totally helpless.”

He looked over his shoulder and laughed, the sound echoing off the rocks around us. Even in the darkness, his eyes held a sparkle that made my stomach all topsy-turvy. “Never once have I thought you were helpless, Kerri.” He scooted back until we were side-by-side. “And you’re about to be a hero. As soon as we walk, oh, another few hundred miles or so.”

“How long do you think it’ll take?” I asked. “Be honest with me, Ethan. Do you think we even have a chance of making it? Or is this a waste?”

“Dr. Fowler told me it was around a four hundred mile walk from where we started. He estimated about two weeks of walking almost around the clock, and that was before we all caught the crud. Now?” He cringed. “I’m not so sure if we’ll make it or not. As for whether or not it’s a waste? I say no. Either we stay here and risk dying, or we go there and risk dying. At least there, we’ll have a chance to put an end to this craziness.”

I nodded, and the two of us looked back to the scene before us. I remembered the stories I heard in Sunday school when I was little, about how God spoke to Moses through a burning bush, or something like that. And wasn’t he on a mountain, too? Maybe God had a message for us.
Hah
. I turned my gaze to the sky, wishing that I could see the stars shining above just one more time. Instead, I saw nothing but darkness. I missed the stars. We were trapped beneath an endless night sky.

“By the way,” he said, turning to me again, “I never got the chance to tell you, but happy birthday. Well, happy late birthday, anyway. Sucks you had to celebrate like this.”

I chuckled. “Thanks. And for what it’s worth, you made it suck a little less.”

He grinned.

“Can I ask you something?” I ventured. “You don’t have to answer, and I’m sorry if it’s super insensitive, but . . . were you two close? You and the doctor? ”

His grin wavered, but he held my gaze as he replied, “Sort of. I wasn’t at the center much longer than you. I’d only been there a couple of weeks when everything went to hell, but Fowler was there for me from the get-go. Always made me feel like I mattered, like I had some sort of purpose, you know? He was almost like a dad, in a way. And I never got a chance to thank him for that.”

I thought back to my own arrival at Sunrise, and how welcoming Dr. Fowler was in my first group session the day everything started. That doctor was a far cry from the helpless man in the middle of the road. I shook my head, trying to clear the memory. I didn’t want to remember him that way. He was too good for that.

“Before he . . . you know . . . he told me to finish what we started,” I said. “But I don’t know
how.
And Nate may be a jerk, but he had a point. What are we supposed to do when—if—we get there? Bennett will be surrounded by guards. That’s a given. So how are we going to even try to stop him?”

Ethan remained quiet for a minute, then stood and brushed the dirt off his jeans. I barely concealed a laugh; our clothes were all a permanent shade of brown from days of wearing the same thing. He offered me his hand, which I took, and he pulled me to my feet.

“We’ll think of something,” he said. “We still have a few days to come up with a plan, right?”

“True.” I paused, then asked, “Why
do
you care, Ethan? About all of this? Why not just, you know, let it happen?”

“Well, why do you care?”

“Because the world’s a good place,” I replied without hesitation. “I mean, it’s got its faults, but all in all, it’s good. I think that’s something worth fighting for.”

He smiled. “That’s as good an answer as mine. Great minds think alike.” 

With his hand still in mine, the two of us walked back toward the path, prepared to endure another night of hell on earth. But when Ethan paused long enough to press a soft kiss to my lips, I realized that I had a little piece of heaven right beside me. And I knew that somehow, we’d be okay.

Chapter 13

It’s hard to put one foot in front of the other when your stomach is twisted in unimaginable hunger. It’s hard to focus on where you’re going when your body is screaming for something—anything—to drink. It’s hard to comprehend what anyone is saying when your head is fuzzy from mind-numbing exhaustion. We’d come across a handful of buildings that were somehow still standing, which kept us going with a few precious packages of food and some bottles of water. It’s amazing how satisfying dry noodles can be when there’s not much else to be found. Unfortunately, that’s where our luck ran out in the sustenance department. It was nice while it lasted.

According to Ethan and the map, we were near a tiny lake. I didn’t have the energy, nor any reason to question him. There was no way I’d know any differently, anyway. There were no signs. Heck, there were barely any roads. That said, my dehydrated body was desperate for Ethan to be right. Being so close to a body of water was almost too good to be true. My body trembled with anticipation at the very thought.

The fires were fizzling to sparks, but smoke lingered in the air, creating a thick fog that burned my nose and irritated my already-weak stomach. As much as I tried to cling to Ethan’s words from the days before, as much as I tried to remember there was a reason for all this . . . it wasn’t doing much good anymore. My resolve faded with every minute we went without food, or a bed, or just
somewhere
to lie down without fear of never waking up.

We’d traveled down the same narrow, crumbled road for a couple days now—one nestled between trees that’d been singed from flames, but somehow spared from total destruction. The creaks and groans echoing through the forests made it clear some of those remaining trees would collapse anytime. I couldn’t find it in me to care. Sure, we had a mission to carry out. But there were plenty of moments when all I wanted to do was curl up at the base of one of those trees, close my eyes, and wish the world away. But it only took one glance at the others to push me on.

Ethan and Danny led our group, walking ahead of the rest of us by a few yards. Nate was driving me insane with his constant grumbling. His tension rubbed off on me and made me irritable. That being said, I would listen to Nate mumble all day and night if it did anything to drown out the noises in my head.

My earlier vision of Haven turned into nightmares that haunted me each time I drifted to sleep. And each time I woke, her screams remained in my mind. It was torture to have no idea what it meant. All I knew was that my visions always became reality. For her sake, that terrified me. I turned and found her trailing behind me, staring at the ground. She looked so sad, so lonely. My heart ached for her. Taking a deep breath, I started in her direction. 

“Son of a mother fucker!”

I whirled back around. Danny lay on the ground, cursing as Ethan crouched in front of him and pushed up his pants leg.
Crap, crap, crap.
I rushed over, cringing the second I saw Danny’s knee, which was already swelling. No blood, thank God, but it had to hurt. Danny’s face was scrunched in pain, and that was a bad enough sign. Danny was a lot of things, but he definitely wasn’t a wimp.

Ethan tried to straighten the leg, which made Danny groan through clenched teeth. I squatted beside him, and ruffled his hair to try and distract him from the pain. “You all right there, tough guy?” I asked. “What the hell did you do? Kick the road too hard?”

He grimaced while Ethan continued to work with his leg. I had an idea that probably wasn’t best for that type of injury, but we were already crunched for time, and I knew Ethan would never leave Danny behind. Even if he tried, I wouldn’t let him. Despite his pain, Danny forced the tiniest of smiles.

“Tell that damn brother of yours to stop screwing with the world,” he said, cutting his eyes to the side. “Stupid fucking road’s all torn up and I tripped. Mother fu—”

“Language,” I said, attempting to lighten the tension. “There are ladies present, don’t ya know.”