Authors: R.J. Lewis
Chapter Twenty-Four
I trust you
He had a guarded expression when he opened the door to me.
I looked apologetically back at him. The only way this was going to work was by channelling all the good things I felt for him. Lying with the truth, right?
“Can I come in?” I asked him, appearing unsure.
He widened the door and I stepped in. He slammed it shut and I jumped at the force of it. He was still in a shit mood, his face twisting into a frown. I faced him and immediately dived into apology mode.
“Ben, I’m sor –”
“What the hell happened this morning, Claire?” he snapped.
I shrugged. “I don’t really know.”
“You don’t know? You can’t tell me what was going through your goddamn head when you started interrogating me?”
“Maybe I’m PMS’ing?” I didn’t give him an opportunity to respond. “Look, I messed up. After your left, I was alone and had all these thoughts in my head. I felt so insecure and inadequate. You could be with anyone you want, and yet you choose me and…”
He didn’t
rescue me with reassurances. He just stood there, waiting for me to continue. I didn’t like his indifference. It worried me.
Be. Honest.
I sighed and said in a harder voice, “I was stupid. It was all my fault. I… I led myself to believe for a minute that I couldn’t trust you. That what we have isn’t real to you. That you never really gave me your heart. It destroyed me and I lashed out at you, and it was wrong.”
The tension in his bones gradually gave out. He relaxed and exhaled long and slow. I watched that anger trickle away, replaced by warmth. He took my hand into his and ran his thumb over my knuckles. His other arm wrapped around me and brought me against his chest. I buried my face into him, suspending my current hate in order to live and breathe all of him in now. I hated the way my body responded to it.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he told me. “I love you, I won’t deceive you, and I will catch you every time you fall. Because I trust you, and I know you’d do the same for me.”
My being split into two. I couldn’t cope when in these moments I felt like he was telling the truth. But the voice inside my head pushed on through, telling me to focus.
He pulled back and I felt his fingers around my neck. I looked down to see him running them over the opal necklace. “I see you opened your present,” he murmured.
I smiled softly at him. “Yes. It’s beautiful.”
“Beautiful on
you
. I walked up and down the jewellery aisle, looking for something that was perfect for you. I was around three other men doing the same thing, and we were all equally lost.”
“Yeah, well, you knocked me away with this one.”
“It sort of represents you. I saw the green shimmering in the light while it went blue in different angles. Like an opal, there are so many different sides to you, and they’re all equally beautiful.”
I hardened my heart, not allowing his words to find their way in. “That’s really romantic, and that actually reminds me. I got you something too, as a thank you for this.”
His eyes glowed and his brow shot up. “Is that right?”
I nodded. “Sit on the couch.”
I pulled the “gift” out of my purse when he sat down. Standing behind him, I took several deep breaths before I took a seat next to him and held the gift out. I stared at the terribly wrapped box and suppressed the panic that burst through me, making my skin break out in sweat.
Completely oblivious of the havoc raging inside of me, he took it out of my grasp, and it was then I realized that the wheels were now in motion. He eyed me with a radiant smile on his face, remarking jokingly about my wrapping skills before he tore it apart. All the while I stared on with indecision, like this was all a mistake and I needed to take it back. It was getting harder to breathe, harder to think, and harder to keep still when my body was throbbing at this deception.
He looked at the box, turning it over before he pulled off the lid and stared at the watch. He stared at it long and hard with a thoughtful expression.
“Wow,” he finally muttered, “this must have been expensive, beauty.”
It took me longer than normal to answer. When he glanced up at me, I shrugged. “I told you I have a bit of money from my inheritance.”
He raked his eyes over my face, not sparing an inch as he studied me. Then he looked back down at the watch and pulled it out.
“Help me put it on?” he asked.
I took the watch from him and shakily set it over his wrist. Meanwhile, he continued to observe me closely. “You alright?”
I nodded, unable to speak. By some miracle, I managed to strap it on, and when I did, I drew in a deep breath and relaxed into the couch. It felt unusually cold against my flesh. In fact, everything felt cold.
“Thank you, Claire,” he then said, faraway in thought. “It’s the first time I’ve been gifted a watch. You really shouldn’t have.”
Still unable to speak, I offered him a smile.
“Did you have a hard time picking it out too?” He asked, taking my hand in his. “Was it hard for you as it was for me?”
Avoiding his eyes, I cleared my throat and said, “No. It was my first and only choice.”
“Lucky you.”
I looked down at the hand he took with mine and stared at the watch. I felt sick.
“I’m going to the bathroom for a second,” I told him a short while later. I didn’t wait for a response. I stood up and hurried away from him.
I locked myself away in the bathroom gripped the basin with each hand. This was so much harder than it was supposed to be. After everything I’d been told I shouldn’t have been feeling anything for him. Yet watching him wear that watch had split me open. I felt weak and conflicted, and I was still on the verge of rushing back out there and tearing it off.
I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. Minutes passed and soon he would be questioning my disappearance. I stood up straight and stared at the mirror. I didn’t like the person staring back at me. Her eyes looked dead, and her confidence had disappeared.
I turned back around and opened the door. I walked quietly back to the lounge when his hushed voice halted me.
“No, we’re not doing it there. I want you at my warehouse in two hours’ time. You meet me there and hand me the key and tell me where the drop off is. We’ll sort the details when I get there. Understood? Good.”
I heard the sound of a phone beep and knew he’d gotten off. I waited a few more moments before I strolled back in. Ben was still seated on the couch, looking down at his watch with a look of melancholy I’d never seen before.
“Hey,” I said, sitting back down next to him.
He didn’t look up at me. “Hey, beauty.”
I took his hand into my own, surprised to see he was a little stiff. “You alright?”
He looked up at me and nodded. “Yeah. Unfortunately I got a call. I have to go and run some errands. Will you be here when I get back?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
He got up and changed into a business suit, taking his time wandering the house as he got ready to go. I recapped the words he said on the phone, knowing this was what Hardman and his partner had been waiting for. Which meant I needed to start that watch.
He’d taken his watch off as he changed into his clothes and left it on the dresser in his bedroom. I nervously took it and pressed the button twice as instructed and placed it back. He joined me moments later, straightening his suit jacket before grabbing the watch.
“You don’t have to wear it,” I told him, figuring reverse psychology might work.
He eyed me as he buckled it up around his wrist. “Why?”
“Well, you took it off. If you don’t like it –”
“I like it just fine, Claire. I took it off to wash my hands. Wouldn’t want this to get wet and all.”
I simply nodded in return. “Okay.”
His pace was slow on his way to the foyer, like he was weighed down my something. When he made it there, he turned to me and landed a soft kiss against my mouth.
“I’ll be back soon,” he told me.
I nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”
He stood still for a few moments, watching me intensely. Then he turned and opened the door. His name was on the tip of my tongue just begging to be let out so I could stop him from leaving, but I kept my mouth shut.
He shot me one last look before closing the door behind him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kill you with my bare hands
As soon as he left the apartmen
t, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared down at Hardman’s number. This was it. This was the exchange he’d been waiting for.
My body was screaming to put the phone down. For a short while I contemplated this, tried to rationalize it in my head. He scarred me in the most abominable way, sure, but maybe he truly fell in love with me. Maybe he never felt this way for anyone else, and maybe he hated himself for hurting me.
I set the phone down on the bed and nodded at my desperation. Yeah, when he got back, I’d tell him I knew about everything, and then he’d beg for my forgiveness and have the perfect explanation for all of this. Then I would stop hating him and everything would be alright again.
My stomach knotted as I paced the room.
Body was conquering mind, and I was allowing it. But mind fought back until it was screaming at me internally.
Stop and think, Claire! Think of everything you’ve been through. He was there that night. He sent that man to ruin you.
I stopped and stared at my reflection. I was going to love myself again. I was going to look at the face staring back at me and see someone normal and strong. But the only way that was going to happen was by stepping out of this cage and doing it on my own. Because when you started depending on someone else to make you happy, they had the power to hurt you too.
I turned around and grabbed the phone. I dialled the number and put it to my ear.
“Miss Landon,” Hardman said tentatively. “Any news?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, fighting away the pain. “He made the call.”
******
There was nowhere in my being I could escape the tension tightening with every passing second. I felt helpless, and the silence didn’t make matters any better.
I shook as I gathered my belongings, making sure I left nothing behind. I needed to get out of here. I stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the hallway. It was done and I was numb.
But just as I reached the stairs, the front door of the apartment opened. I froze and held my breath. What was he doing back? It’d only been twenty minutes. Did he forget something? Or did he know what I did?
Fuck! What if he figured it out? I turned around, fear gripping me, and stared into the hallway. There was nowhere I could go to escape him.
I pulled my phone back out of my pocket and dialled the police. My finger lingered on the call button when voices broke through the air.
“Are you sure it’ll be just us?” asked a woman. “I don’t want to be around if Ben’s here.”
“Yes, he told me he’ll be out for a couple hours and had the place to myself,” answered Jamie. “So we can get down to business straight away if you’d like.”
“As long as we’re out of here right after.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I felt confused. Why would Ben tell him he had the place to himself if he knew I was already here? Was Jamie lying?
The sound of kissing and moans followed. Ugh. Not wanting to intrude, I looked back at the bedroom. I couldn’t go back in there though. I had to get out of here as soon as possible.
With a sigh, I went down the stairs just in time to see them collapse on the leather couch, the woman on top of Jamie. My footsteps were heard, and her blonde head shot up to look at me.
“Oh, fuck, Jamie,” she cursed, moving right off of him.
Jamie followed her line of sight and then exhaled exasperatedly. “It’s fine. She’s Ben’s girlfriend.”
“Then he’s here!”
“No, he’s not.”
“And I’m about to go,” I said, plastering a fake smile on my face. “So don’t mind me.” I moved quickly in the direction of the door.
“Wait!” came the woman’s voice.
I stopped and turned around, watching her stand up and straighten her dress. She then came to me. She was tall and remarkably beautiful with long blonde hair and pale green eyes. And she was looking at me like I was the most exciting thing to ever grace the earth.
“You’re Ben’s girlfriend?” she exclaimed in awe.
Not anymore. “Um…” I struggled, wanting to just get out of here.
“Yes, she is,” Jamie answered, moving to stand beside her. He smirked at me. “Unless of course he’s proposed to you, which I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“Proposed?” The woman looked shocked. She glared at Jamie and said, “You told me he was having a hard time after me –”
“Well, I thought he did until I crashed here a short while ago and saw otherwise.” He then cringed and said to me, “You know, it would be best if you didn’t tell him about this. Her place is really far away, and I thought since I’d have the place to myself that –”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she interrupted him.
He sighed. “Because you would have reacted like this.”
“Like what?”
“All weird.”
“I’m not weird. I’m happy!”
I eyed the front door. “Look, I gotta go.”
“What’s your name?” she then asked, moving in closer to me. Her eyes flickered to my scars, but she still smiled, radiant as ever.
“Claire,” I said tiredly. “And you?”
She put her hand out. “Melinda.”
I froze. My body roared with the noise of my blood whooshing in my ears, and I gaped at her. “What?”
“Melinda,” she repeated, waving her hand now so I could shake it.
But I stumbled back a step. “Melinda
what
?”
She dropped her hand and glanced at Jamie in confusion. “Melinda Warren.”
And now that blood drained straight out of me as I hardly withstood the shockwave upon hearing her answer.
“No.” I shook my head violently. No, no, no.
NO!
“Claire?” said Jamie concernedly.
I pointed at the fake and moved away from both of them. “She’s not Melinda. That’s-that’s a lie.”
“What do you mean?” Jamie asked, moving to me slowly, as though I was a caged animal that had broken free.
I continued pointing at her. “That’s not Melinda. I saw Melinda Warren, and she… she was scarred, and she didn’t look like her, and…”
“Where did you see this person? Because I promise you, this is her.”
My back hit the wall as I stared between both of them in bewilderment. Tears fell down my face, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
“The same Melinda that use to be with Ben?” I anxiously asked.
The woman frowned. “I was with him for a few months, sure. But we weren’t serious or anything. I broke it off because…” She looked guiltily over at Jamie.
Oh, fuck. The truth was staring at me in the face.
This
was why Ben was angry I’d been around Jamie. This woman had cheated on him. With his brother.
“And you two are together?”
She shook her head, but I could see the struggle in her face as she denied her feelings. “No, we just have fun every now and then.”
Jamie was still staring hard at me, inching to me. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I put a hand over my mouth as the shock continued to run through me. Puzzled, I tried to put the pieces inside my head together, but I was so lost. So confused.
Why would they lie to me?
“They said he scarred her,” I choked out. “They said he planned my attack. They said it was all a lie and –”
“
Who
said this?” Jamie demanded, getting red with anger.
“The police,” I stammered out.
His back straightened, and something dawned on his eyes. “Oh, fuck. Hardman?”
I blinked at him. “What?”
He moved to me and gripped me harshly by the arm, twisting it as he pulled me into him and screamed, “Was it Hardman?!”
“Yes!”
He let go and I stumbled back. The horrified look on his face confirmed what I had been desperate to believe.
I really had been lied to.
“The bastard has done nothing but try and get at him for years,” Jamie said grimly. “Not the first time he’s tried to turn Ben’s own against him with lies.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean they’re desperate. They said these things to you, but did they have proof?”
“They have footage of Ben around the place I was attacked –”
“Did you actually
see
it?”
“Well…no, but…” The room spun and my stomach churned. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I told him… I told him about the deal he’s on his way to. I’m so sorry!”
“What?” Jamie froze. “You what?”
“We have to go and stop him! I told Hardman he went to make a deal –”
“FUCK!” He raced into the lounge room and grabbed the keys off the table. Then he turned back and stormed straight to the front door.
I took off after him. “Stop! Let me go with you. We have to stop him and –”
He opened the door and faced me. His cold face halted me immediately as he took a step forward and shoved me back. Pointing a finger in my face with stormy eyes, he growled out, “You fucked up big time, woman. You get the fuck out of here before I’m back. And if I don’t have Ben with me when I walk back through this door, I’m going to find you and kill you with my bare hands.”
Then he turned around and slammed the door shut behind him.