Authors: Nikki Winter
“You
don’t have anything to let go of because I
won’t
break.”
Grinning,
Eli reached into his pocket and came away with a notepad and pencil. He
scribbled something on the paper, ripped it off and handed it to her. “
That
is my address. If you should be so
inclined to change your mind, you’re
very
welcome in my humble, manly abode.”
He
spun away from her, whistled between his fingers and made a circular motion
with his hand. “Let’s round it up boys! The lady would like to get a bag!”
The
rest of the team cleared the way and another fireman was kind enough to escort
her inside so she could retrieve a few essentials from her bedroom. Her next
door neighbor promised to watch the house for her after it was temporarily
sealed off.
Once
finished, she climbed into car and followed Addison. The moment the grease fire
had gotten too big to attempt putting out, Carmen had ducked out of the kitchen
and ran down her porch steps without another thought. In complete shock, she’d
stood and watched the smoke rise higher as her neighbors left their homes, one
being gracious enough to call the fire department. Eli’s arrival and the medic
were all a blur. To say she was weary would be an understatement.
No
matter how right he may have been about Addison and Maikao, Carmen couldn’t
risk the damage that would come from being in his home. There were certain
things she’d rather endure.
“Sooo…”
Addison hedged after Carmen picked up the Bluetooth call in her two-seater.
“You uh…you gonna stay with Eli?”
“Why,
in God’s name, would I even
attempt
that
train wreck?” she questioned. He’d been right. Carmen didn’t want the temptation
of being just down the hall or anywhere else near him. It would be like
sticking her hands directly in fire—no puns intended—and expecting not to get
burned.
“Because
you really want to,” the other woman answered.
Carmen
blinked as both cars reached a stoplight. “What?”
“You’ve
been waiting to slam your labia into the man’s face for how long now?”
“This
conversation is over.”
“Let’s
be honest, dude. You want to fuck him. I know it, you know it, your
vagina
knows it…”
Staring
at her friend’s license plates, she said, “You’re doing this because you know I
can’t rightfully punch an emotionally vulnerable woman, aren’t you?”
“All
I’m pointing out are the facts. And you always want to hit me when I point out
the facts.”
“That
facts
are, that if I go anywhere near
Eli’s bed, the good Lord will attempt cleansing me. That place is a breeding
ground for sins, misdeeds and bad decisions.”
Addison
chuckled. “And it could very well be the place you finally allow yourself to
feel something other than mild annoyance and anxiety. As someone in the medical
field, I can tell you that not using it, certainly means it may just fall off.”
“You
work in pediatrics!”
“And
I got an A in every biological course I took in med school! Stop being a dick
and help yourself to Eli’s! The bounty is there, just waiting like a Thai
barbeque buffet.”
“You
want Thai barbeque now don’t you?”
Addison
sighed. “I’ll settle for grilled fish tacos with that lovely chipotle-lime
dressing you make.” She hummed a little. “I’m much better at convincing you to
have sex with people on a full stomach.”
“If
I make coconut-pineapple
paletas
can
we just spend time in quiet…just not talking…
about anything that involves Eli’s penis?!”
“The
yelling seems excessive.”
“Addison!”
“Alright!
Alright! How about we make it apple
enchiladas
instead?”
Two days and there had been no knocks, no doorbells rings and no
Carmen. All of what he’d heard had been delivered through Maikao after slaps
and death threats. Apparently it was going to take just another week for the
damage done to her kitchen to be repaired—just in time for the wedding. Of
course, this meant she’d have to bounce in between her restaurant, her mother’s
condo and supervising the contractor. He didn’t know what annoyed him more; her
clear determination to avoid him or her clear determination to exhaust herself.
Either way, it as exasperating.
Why she couldn’t just admit that she wanted him, Eli didn’t know.
However, he had every intention of making her see exactly how enjoyable it
could be for the both of them if she just. Gave. In. This was why he was using
his day off to harass her rather than sleep. If he did this right, he’d be
sleeping well soon enough…hopefully with Carmen curled up and purring next to
him.
Slipping through the doors of
Mi
Aliento,
he headed straight towards the back, weaving through tables,
chairs, patrons and waiters until he came to the service kitchen, a door that
led to the restrooms and an office. His lips curled slightly.
Carmen’s
office.
He didn’t bother with knocking, he knew she was inside, had seen
her two-seater in the lot. Twisting the knob, Eli strolled in and immediately
closed the door behind himself. He was prepared for yelling, for threats and
for flying objects coming entirely too close to ruining the beauty of his face
but he was
not
prepared for a Carmen
lying face down on the love seat a few feet away from her desk. Her hair was in
a disarray, her blouse was unbuttoned, her skirt was riding her thighs and she
had a grip on a throw pillow that looked distinctly…
gropey.
His grin turned into a leer almost instantly. Reaching backwards,
he flipped the lock into place on the knob and stepped forward, tipping across
the carpeting until he was standing just over the woman who was softly snoring.
It was adorable and off-putting all at once.
Eli reached down and ran his fingertips just over the backs of her
velvety thighs, enjoying all too much the way her silken skin felt beneath his
hand. The muscles there jumped and he felt like a perverted freak. Pulling
back, he dropped to his knees near her head and pushed her hair back.
As he leaned forward, he whispered, “Carmen?”
She shifted a bit.
“Carmen?”
Her shoulders rolled. “Hmm?”
“Can I put my hand up your skirt?”
One hand reached out and pushed at his face. “Not right now. Tired.”
He bit his lip and rubbed his palm along her shoulders. “Please?”
She waved that same hand. “Gimme ten minutes.”
Brows winging, Eli sat back on his haunches and waited. He waited
for the slow tensing of her back. He waited for the way her head lifted. He
waited for the glare full of hellfire and retribution that was focused on him
within a matter of seconds. Eli waited and then he smiled. It was a smile so
wide and bright, so viciously
cheerful,
that
it
hurt.
Carmen’s lashes fanned once. “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to
kill you and then I’m going to drag you out to the desert. Afterwards, I am
going to dig a hole just large and deep enough to contain your height, leaving
only your head in view so that the first thing the predators go for are your
eyes and tongue.”
Eli’s mouth twisted. “Will all this be happening ten minutes from
now, when you’re done with your nap and welcome to me putting my hand up your
skirt or…?”
She stared and he stared back. Without another word, she rolled to
her side with the clear intent of going back to sleep.
“So you’re just going to pretend I’m not here?” he asked.
“Not difficult,” she answered.
“Really?”
“
Really.”
“You’re saying you have the ability to ignore me while I am
this
close?”
“Pretty much.”
“What you’re telling me is that you can literally go
back
to sleep and not think twice about
my being four inches away?”
“Thought we already established this,” she mumbled before making a
flitting motion with her hand. “Now, quiet.”
“Heh.” Eli watched her for all of five minutes. Saw the way she
relaxed in degrees, and he even heard the soft murmur of her snore again. It
was all so serene.
So when he pulled his hand back, flicked his wrist and slapped her
on the ass? Yeah, totally necessary.
“What the actual fuck?!” Carmen jerked upwards and spun towards
him.
His head tilted. “Oh, sorry, hand slipped.”
“Why are you even here?!”
“Because my mission in life is to aggravate you!” he yelled back,
leaning forward. “Until you cut the bullshit stubborn act and do what’s best!”
“Which would be what? Throwing my vagina at your face?!”
“Yes!”
Her eyes narrowed.
His narrowed in return. “You’re exhausting yourself to prove a
point. I get it but this isn’t healthy and quite frankly, I want to have sex
with you already. Why can’t we all just be happy?”
Carmen’s lids closed. “I am
not
sleeping with you, Eli.”
“Who said anything about sleep? I mean
after
sex we can sleep but—”
“We’re
not
having sex!”
He frowned. “You won’t have sex and you won’t sleep? I don’t
understand what it is exactly you want from me. Cuddling? We can cuddle. I
like
to cuddle. Although, it generally
does end with erections and murmured apologies.”
She slowly shook her head. “Why do I attempt rational
conversations with you? Why do I torment myself this way?”
Eli sighed, leaned backwards. “Because on some level you enjoy
that I won’t stop fighting for you.”
Her eyes opened and what he saw there was nowhere near what he’d
thought he’d see.
Irritation.
“You’re
not fighting for
me,
Elijah. You’re
fighting for sex that will go literally nowhere. You’ll fuck me constantly.
We’ll laugh, have breakfast, and fight over the remote during the Monday night
lineup of reality television and football. Then one day it’ll all be over.” She
snapped her fingers. “Just like that. I’ll pack up my meager belongings and go
back to my side of town, my breakfast, and my remote. I’ll have to see you at
dinner occasionally and maybe a barbeque or two. We’ll cross paths during
birthday parties and friendly get-togethers, and I’ll have to pretend like I
don’t know what the muscles in your jaw do when you’re trying not to come
before I have. We’ll be cordial and polite and even smile at one another every
once in a while.”
Eli’s lips parted.
Carmen leaned forward. “But do you know what the fatal flaw in all
of this is?”
He slowly shook his head.
“
One
of us will part
with a lingering question as to why they
knew
shouldn’t but did so anyway. They’ll wonder why they’re thirty-five with a
home of their own, a thriving business and so many amazing qualities
yet,
all they’re ever wanted for is a
good dance or a great
fuck.”
She
leaned back. “Your attention is exasperating and a sure fire waste of my time
so let’s just take a ride on the honesty train, eh? I believe you, when you say
we’ll sleep together and no one else will ever be good enough. I believe you,
when you say I’ll scream and shout and want to compose a song in your name. I
also believe that you’ll ruin me. I’ll fall for you and you’ll
ruin
me.”
She didn’t say another word, just sat there. She sat there and she
stared.
Eli’s mouth suddenly felt dry. For the first time in a long time,
he had no idea what to say to a woman. He had no idea what to say to
this
woman. There was this strange
feeling in his chest.
Disappointment.
The
way she saw him, it brokered no argument. In Carmen’s eyes, he was someone that
would undoubtedly hurt her. And knowing that she believed he had that type of
power fucked with his head something awful.
He got to his feet slowly and pushed his hands into the pockets of
his jeans. Rolling his shoulders he told her, “I’m just not sure what—”
Carmen lifted a hand. “I don’t need an explanation as to why we won’t
ever be in an actual relationship, Eli.
Your reasons don’t matter because they boil down to one very basic thing—there
is no wizard at the end of the yellow brick road. All the magic, all the wonder
will be a means to an end until you decide that you want something else.”
“I would
never
purposely
hurt you.”
Her smile was sad. “That’s what makes you so tempting.” She shook
her head. “But I just…can’t.”
Something was changing here and he didn’t like it. He should’ve
been running the other way, knowing what she truly wanted. He should’ve been
able to call it a loss and find something or someone else to occupy his
time…but he couldn’t. That didn’t sit right with Eli. Having been able to walk
away from women with ease, he found himself hesitating here. He found himself
rooted to the spot that his boots were grounded on.
His fists clenched in the fabric of his jeans. “Give me the week
in Mexico.”
She closed her eyes. “Eli—”
“Just a trial run,” he said. “The wedding, that’s for Addie and
Mak but the other days—the sun, the sand, the feel of kelp, the food, the
music,
can be for us.” Rocking back,
then forward again, Eli continued. “We keep circling around one another and I
can’t help but feel like we’re missing out on something. Something…
good.
That’s the only way I can describe
it. Good. Despite how long it lasts or when it ends, I just can’t allow myself
to walk away from it because, the thought of someone else touching you is
making me fucking ragey.” He looked down and back up in time to catch her
smile. It wasn’t sad but held a bevy of secrets. Eli wanted to taste those
secrets, sift through them, and roll them across his tongue until he understood
each and every one. “I feel trapped, Carmen—in limbo. I’m hovering just over
the ground but can’t step on it. The drifting is driving me crazy. Give me those
days. Days of dry land. Days to show us both something that will quite possibly
be fucking
terrifying.”
The way she chewed her lip, lashes resting against her cheeks,
made him distinctly determined to see that expression again. “I’ll think about
it.”
That wasn’t a
solid
no.
Which technically meant that it
was
a,
“I want to say yes but I need to be
convinced.”
Heh.
Eli bent down and brushed his lips just across the tip of her
nose. “I think the honesty train’s run its course,” he whispered. “Last stop is
home with blue balls.”
The lifting of her mouth was so soft, so fucking sweet, that for a
moment he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. He was completely absorbed in that
slow grin. Carmen’s smiles didn’t come easy and they were rarely anything
outside of mocking, so for her to gift a small, vulnerable piece of her humbled
him. It humbled every single preconceived notion he’d had up to this point. He
wanted to bottle this moment, uncapping it whenever he needed to be reminded of
why she was dangerous. It took no more than the tilt of her lips to make him so
hard that he would’ve challenged Obi Wan to a fucking battle.
He didn’t step back and she didn’t ask him to. Eli’s mouth touched
her nose again, then the side of that slight smile. Her exhales changed,
stuttered. Tentatively, he pushed his lips against hers and when she sighed, he
deepened the kiss. Carmen didn’t hesitate to meet the lazy roll of his tongue
before she shuddered. Her mouth had become an obsession, an addiction. He’d
found himself fantasizing about how he could run his teeth over the bottom rim,
sucking it in, soothing the sting caused by his nips. The whimper of surrender
he received for his efforts, made him return to kneeling, his palms resting on
her bare knees.
Eli rubbed her skin in small circles with his thumbs, running them
just inside her knee pits. Her legs parted a quarter of an inch and his dick
jumped against the zipper of his jeans. He broke the kiss and pressed his nose
to her throat, listening to her breath harshen while he continued the
ministrations of his hands.
“How’s your burn?” he queried innocently.
“Fine.” Carmen gasped when he flicked his tongue against her
pulse. “It was uh…it was uh…”
He nuzzled her collarbone. “It was what?”
She swallowed. “Sore. It was sore.”
Tsking, he told her, “That sounds uncomfortable.” His hands
steadily inched up the exposed flesh of her thighs. “Can I see?”
The muscles beneath his palms tensed.
“I want to make sure you’re okay,” Eli continued calmly. “Make
sure its healing properly.”
Carmen’s breath rasped out and he took her small nod as consent.
His fingers worked her skirt up and his gaze trailed over the small bandaged
wound on her skin. He brushed a thumb across it gently. “Still sore?”