Authors: Jillian Dodd
The minute she walks out of our room, Riley grabs me and throws me on the bed.
“Hey, I need sustenance.”
He rolls on top of me, pins my arms above my head, and says, “I need something to sustain me too. God. You don’t have a bra on.”
“Oh, shit. I forgot. I’m sorry.”
He breaks out into a wide grin. “Oh, no. No apologies necessary.”
“So you have a muffin for me too?”
“Yeah, you want me to butter your muffin?”
I know he’s just playing around. Teasing me. But his teasing and pinning me to the bed remind me so much of Cush. I start to get tears in my eyes. Then my mind flashes to Vincent holding my wrists. I start to shake and my breathing speeds up.
Riley’s face scrunches up. Then his eyes narrow. “What? Why?” He jumps off me. “Did you think I was going to hurt you? Like hold you down? I wouldn’t do that. Ever. I was just messing around.”
I nod. I can’t even say that I know. I just put my hands over my face and start crying.
Riley gathers me up into his arms. “Did that happen to you before?” he asks quietly. “Is that why you’re so upset?”
I shake my head no and start sobbing on his shoulder. He’s holding me like Damian did the night I almost got kidnapped. Which makes me cry harder.
I have a complete breakdown.
I must have emotional jet lag.
Like, it just all hit me.
Right now.
At the most inopportune time.
I’ve been so good at holding it in. Pretending to act like it didn’t affect me. That I’d be fine going away by myself. Being on my own. But I don’t want to be on my own. I miss my family. I miss the girls. I miss Cush. Sweet, sexy Cush. I thought I could come here and start over, but I can’t. This isn’t my life.
He pats me on the back. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I suck in a big breath and shudder. Calm myself down. “I’m sorry. I just, like, when you did that. It reminded me of someone. Someone I miss. Someone I had to leave when I came here.”
“The surfer guy?”
I lean my back up against the headboard while I wipe under my eyes. “No. It’s a long, complicated story. I don’t want to bore you with it. Let’s just say my coming here was not exactly by choice.”
“Tell me about the guy.” He laughs. “Or should I say
guys
?”
“Guys, I guess. You really want to hear about it?”
He hands me a coffee and says, “I’ve got all morning.”
Now I have to figure out what to say. What can I say that is close to the truth? What I end up with is a weird combination of truths.
“I sort of got sent here because of a guy.”
“Your parents not like him?”
“Um, there was some trouble. My parents decided to move to France. Told me I was either coming with them or coming here. They deleted my phone, Facebook, everything. I told a guy I thought I loved him, that we would get back together, then I left. Didn’t even get to say goodbye.” Tears trickle down my cheeks. I brush them away quickly.
“That sucks. But you get to talk to the B guy?”
“Yeah. My parents, um, liked him.”
“I can relate.”
“How?”
“I got kicked out of here my freshman year. Parents sent me to military school. Same deal. No friends. No phone. No social media. Very strict. We all have to go to school somewhere. Trust me, there are worse places you could be than here.”
“Did military school suck?”
“For the most part, yes. At least there are girls here.”
“What did you do to get kicked out?”
“Let’s just say I was being pretty reckless and deserved it.”
“Are you still reckless?”
He laughs. “Hell, yeah. Military school is supposed to strip the life out of you. I didn’t let it. You can’t let it. And don’t worry. I’m sure you won’t have any trouble finding a guy here.”
“I already found a guy here. I’ve never felt such an instant connection with anyone ever before.”
“You like Aiden a lot, huh?”
“Yeah. He, like, speaks to my soul. He makes me feel nervous and tongue-tied and I want to run away from him because it scares me. But he’s, like, magnetic. He has this pull on me.”
“Maybe you’re just horny,” he laughs.
“It hasn’t been that long.”
“Oh, do tell.”
“There’s nothing to tell. Even though we broke up, I slept with B my last night at home. It was breakup sex or goodbye sex. But now when he texts me he acts like it was makeup sex.”
“So you need to get over him and the other guy before you can be with Aiden? Is that what you’re thinking?”
“I’m thinking I can’t like Aiden at all.”
I don’t tell him that I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall in love here.
Or that I forget that promise every time Aiden is near me.
“I should suggest we have some revenge sex, but I can’t even bring myself to hit on you. You look pathetic.”
“I don’t want to be hit on, Riley.”
“I know. But the good news for me is that you’re not wearing a bra.”
“Is there any good news for me?”
“Yeah. At least your parents didn’t send you to military school.”
“Maybe they should have. I could do nothing but study and get buff.”
He nods his head, agreeing with me. “That was the one good thing. Wanna see?”
“See what?”
“How buff I am.”
“Only because I know you’re dying to show me.”
“Maybe it will sway you. Make you change your mind about us just being friends. It’s important before we go too far down the friendship path that I know how much willpower you really have.” He pulls his shirt off over his head and shows me a lean, buff, and tan chest. He doesn’t quite have a six-pack yet; more like an adorable four pack. “So what do you think?”
“I’d say military school does a body good.”
He smiles.
Then he raises his eyebrows and says, “Okay, so now it’s your turn.”
“My turn for what?”
“To take your shirt off.”
I laugh at him. “You’re incorrigible.”
“It’s a gift. And, more importantly, I made you laugh.”
The paths you choose.
1:30 pm
Katie was really nervous about getting to dance on time. About fitting into her uniform. About dancing at the scrimmage when we only know one routine. I tell her to go ahead and I’ll meet her later, knowing I need to call Garrett.
But as I scroll down my contact list, I see a D. And I hit it instead.
I figure I’ll have to leave him a message, but at least I can hear his voice.
“Are you okay?” Damian answers right away.
“I’m fine. Where are you?”
“Stockholm, getting geared up for tonight’s concert.”
“I just called to thank you. I never thanked you for taking care of me that night. I’ve been a bad friend. I’m sorry.”
“You’ve never been a bad friend to me. And even if you were, I’d forgive you.”
“I broke down and started crying in front of a boy I barely know today.”
“You had a traumatic experience. Not to mention leaving your friends and family and going off on your own. Are you pretending it’s a new adventure?”
I think about my little sisters and want to start crying again. “I forgot it was your dad who started that when we were little. That’s what we told the girls. I’m worried about them. Do you think this is going to work? Have you heard anything? Are
you
taking precautions?”
“Yes, to all of the above. We have security built in with the tour. I’ll be fine. James sent me a photo of the guy that I shared with the team. Didn’t tell them why, but they will be on the lookout for him and we’ll get a heads up if he leaves the country. James also said that they had eyes on the guy when you left. That he was in his office all day. It worked. He doesn’t know where you went. You’re safe, Keats. Do you like it there? Is it nice?”
“It actually is. I feel safe. And so far people have been nice. And I met this guy.”
“That doesn’t really surprise me.”
I remember what else Brooklyn told me. “You know how I was maybe going to come here when I was a freshman, before I decided to stay in Malibu?”
“Yeah.”
“B suggested that maybe I fought fate. That fate was sending me here now because there was someone I needed to meet. Do you think that could actually be true? Or did he plant a thought in my brain and now I’m trying to fulfill it?”
Damian laughs. “All that fate stuff is just a little too deep for me. I think you make your own fate by the paths that you choose.”
“I’m not on a path that I chose, Damian.”
“That’s true. Just be safe, try to have some fun, and let fate take care of itself. Hey, I have to go. Break a leg.”
“You break a leg too.”
I scroll down and call Garrett.
“Mom said you wanted me to call?”
“Just wanted to let you know that things are looking good. Vincent has been following some of your friends around looking for information—”
I interrupt him. “Garrett! Did you lie to me? You told me my friends would be fine if I didn’t tell them anything. Where did he follow them?”
“Your friends are fine, because they don’t know anything. Thursday night, your friend Cush got together with, I believe it was, his soccer team. Does that sound right?”
“Yes. He’s the team captain.”
“They were having some kind of party at a pizza place. Let me look at the report. Yeah, it says they were having some kind of going away party.”
“Going away party? For who?”
“Not sure. But the report says Vincent sat beside them and listened to their conversation.”
“Did they say anything about me?”
“There was some discussion about you. All rumors. Really, the more rumors Vincent hears the better, as far as I’m concerned. Then, last night he was at the same club as Vanessa and RiAnne. He even danced with Vanessa.”
“Oh my God! I forgot that Vanessa knows him. Well, she met him once anyway.”
“She did? When?”
“When I came back from Europe. We were at The Chateau pool. He was there. Asked me to go to his room to see the script. Vanessa got introduced to him.”
“That shouldn’t matter. As long as we keep your friends in the dark, they will be safe.”
“You keep saying that. I’m sort of sick of hearing it.”
“And I’m trying to keep you from doing something dumb. Like contacting them.”
I feel like I’m going to cry again. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me?
“I feel like I should warn them or something. I feel guilty.”
Garrett says in a soft, fatherly voice, “Keatyn, move on. You’re at a great school. Try to enjoy it there. It may be your life from now on. I know we said that maybe after six months or so you could come back, but based on what we’ve seen so far, I honestly don’t think you’ll ever be coming back. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the reality of the situation.”
I feel like an elephant just stepped on my chest and crushed the breath out of me. Smashed all my ribs. I grab my chest and try to breathe.
I just need to keep breathing.
Shake my ass.
3:30pm
I pull myself together and put on a happy face for the football scrimmage. I think the shock I feel when I see myself in my dance outfit helps me push it all to the back of my mind.
The outfit I’m wearing is a teeny gold glittery spandex dress. The sides are slit high up on my thighs. The halter neckline shows off my cleavage and leaves my back fully exposed. The
briefs
we wear under the skirt are gold glitter thongs. Okay, they are bigger than thongs but, still, they do not cover much up. As in, when I dance, I’m pretty sure you can see my ass cheeks—well, part of them anyway.
I know the dance team at my old school wore skimpy outfits and they looked adorable in them. I just never realized how small they are. And I practically lived in a bikini. But when you are in a bikini and everyone else is in pads and full uniforms, you feel kinda exposed.
No wonder all the boys are gaga over the dance team.
I’m out here practically naked!
Peyton comes and stands next to me. “So, I heard you kissed Dawson at the party last night. And my brother.”
“Dawson kissed me. I think he was pretty drunk.”
She sighs. “He was super drunk. Probably why he’s playing so badly today. I’m sure he’s very hung over.” She points out at the field, where Dawson is struggling at quarterback. “He’s a good guy. He took their breakup pretty hard.”
“She kinda glared at me at the party when she saw us talking.”
“Talking? More like he was pawing your chest.”
“I made him stop. So what’s the deal? They’re broken up, right?”
“Yeah, they are. She has a boyfriend in college. Well, we both do now.”
“And let me guess, she broke up with Dawson because you got a college boyfriend, so she had to have one too?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“I know how girls like her work. Dawson was a pawn. She traded him up for a rook.”
“It seemed like that, yes.”
“So you’re best friends, huh?”
Peyton kicks the ground. “Yeah.”
“How come you’re always so nice to me when she’s not around but completely ignore me when she is?”
She sighs. “She doesn’t like you.”
“Why? She doesn’t even know me. Never said one word to me.”
“She’s pissed about Dawson. She doesn’t want him, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have him. He kissed you. She’s automatically gonna see you as a threat.”
“I’m not a threat. I don’t have any desire to be like her. I was friends with girls like her at my old school. I don’t care how many friends I end up with here. I just want to know they’re not going to stab me in the back as soon as I turn around.”
“That’d be nice,” she says wistfully. “How do you know all this?”
“Stuff gets around here really fast. Like gossip, rumors. Plus, quiet, cute little Dallas hears
everything
.”
“You’re right. Stuff does get around. In fact, I’ve heard my brother kinda has a thing for you.”
“He doesn’t. He kinda did, maybe, like on the Ferris wheel and with the clover, but last night he decided that I’m not it.”