Authors: Mahalia Levey
Jimmy caught the cello and set it to the side as she let go. “Nothing about this is right or fair, Sam. I know how you feel.”
He knelt down and looked up into the tragedy playing before him. “One day we’ll be okay.” God, he hoped he wasn’t lying to her. She nodded and limply put her hands on him. “Let’s get you back in bed, okay. Do you want a pill?” He knew the family doctor gave her a prescription of pills to help her sleep.
“No. Just don’t leave me right now.”
“All right.” He shucked his shoes and dress pants. “Get under the covers. I’m not laying in those uncomfortable pants.”
“Okay.” Sam climbed under the sheets. Jimmy tucked her in and settled on top of them. Sameera turned to him and curled into his side.
“Remember when you used to sneak into my window to sleep on the floor? I miss those days. We were best friends, J.J.”
“Yeah, I know but we grew up. You knew that couldn’t last forever.” He stroked her hair wanting to say he missed those days too.
“You mean you got popular, and then the band took off.” She yawned.
“Yeah and you were a prodigy. We left each other, you to a performing arts school and me to—well around the world.”
“Miles was our True North. I begged him not to join Special Forces. I was away with the symphony a lot of the time, while he was on top secret assignments. I feel like if I’d have been home more or given up touring with the symphony he wouldn’t have made that decision.”
“Hey,” Jimmy shushed her, staring into her sad brown eyes. “My brother lived and breathed the military life, the crazy assignments, the brotherhood. He would’ve joined not only because he was made for it—but because above all else he lived to please the colonel. Don’t put negative thoughts in your pretty head like his choice in how he lived his life is in anyway your fault.”
“Just hurts so bad,” she whimpered.
Jimmy let out a breath. “Yeah,” he agreed, his voice breaking with emotion. He cleared his throat. “I’ll hold you until you fall asleep, then leave.”
“I know. Thank you.”
Jimmy slipped under the covers with Sameera face to face. They’d cuddled in the past, one more night wouldn’t hurt. “Nothing to thank me for. Close your eyes. I got you.” He trapped her leg with his and caged her in his arms. For her, he’d put aside battling his demons, battle their hurt—until at least one of them came out unscathed.
Quiet sobbing woke him from a fitful sleep. On the nightstand the blinking clock read four in the morning. Jimmy stroked Sameera’s hair and trailed a finger down the side of her face. He couldn’t take much more of the despair ripping her apart. He promised he’d shoulder her grief, shoving back his own, he kissed her on the cheek and swiped the tears rolling down her face.
“S-sorry. I was having a good dream, and then woke up and realized it was fantasy.”
“Sam, stop apologizing.” Her sorrow tore at his soul.
“J.J., I’m afraid to go back to sleep. I don’t want to see his face. I keep seeing his smile.”
“It’s gonna take time, meerkat.” Her body shivered in his arms. “You’re cold.” He rubbed her skin. Sameera scooted her body into his, wrapping her arms tight around him. Jimmy groaned. They weren’t kids anymore. She was a woman, he a man. She smelled of sunshine, and her skin soft as cotton. She tucked her face into his chest. His dick lurched against her naked stomach. Sameera knew. The absence of her breathe on his chest told him so. “Sorry. I should go.”
“No. It’s okay we can ignore what I just felt. Please don’t leave yet.” Sameera tightened her hold.
Ignoring the awkward moment seemed illogical, as the affliction hadn’t subsided. Each time her body squirmed, the more coiled his arousal became.
“Maybe forgetting for a little while isn’t a bad idea.” Her quiet voice penetrated the silence.
“Sam,” he hissed. She had no idea what she was suggesting, asking of him, if she did, she wouldn’t put him in the position of being a dick either way in the outcome. Jimmy closed his eyes.
“I’m broken and feel like I’m dying. Please, just one time. Give me something besides this unbearable grief.”
Jimmy swiped a tear from her face. How could he tell her no? He tipped her face up to his and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Sameera’s breathing quickened. One taste wasn’t enough. He dipped in and stole another, drank her in, feasted on her sweet tasting mouth. As he slid his fingers in her hair, she plastered her body over him. Jimmy growled and ripped her lace panties off, giving into the unrelenting need to sink his fingers into her tight core. Using his other hand, he tore the shirt over her head, and feasted his gaze on her breasts confined by black lace. Taking her breast in his palm, he flicked her nipple. Her intake of breath and quivering thighs teased him.
“J.J.,” she moaned, as he speared his fingers in and out of her core, then brought the sopping digits into his mouth. The combination of her taste and her hand wrapped around his dick made him groan, which turned into a harsh wheeze as she dragged the tip over her folds, wetting his appetite for more. Jimmy took the reins and propelled forward. Sameera’s soft gasp rung in his ears as he penetrated her.
“So tight.” Her body loosened as he worked farther into her welcoming body, strumming her clit between them, easing her to his size. Sameera ran her hands up his chest, around his neck, surging her mouth to his. He swallowed the sweet taste of her as he rocked in and out of her luscious body. When she fell back onto the bed, he followed her. Her nails bit into his arms, he relished the sting. Welcomed the scars she’d leave along his arms, down his back, and in his soul.
Their passions mounted as they formed their own rhythm devoid of music, other than the cadence of their hearts beating in furious sync, their breathing signaling the inevitable crescendo. Jimmy slowed his pace while kissing a path down her neck, stopping to sample her pert breasts. Sameera’s body trembled each time he nipped her budded nipples, her pussy gushed and clenched around him, drowning him in her undertow. He fought for control, finding purchase in gripping the sheets bunched around him. Her long legs felt too good around his hips as he drove home tirelessly.
“I’m so close.”
Jimmy swallowed the words in his mouth with a final kiss as she convulsed around his cock. The feel of her tight, warm haven sent him spiraling over the edge of insanity, he came in her.
“J.J.”
“Hmm?”
“Nothing.” Her voice belied sleep.
“Get some sleep, I’ll be back in a few.” He slipped out of her and kissed her head. Guilt shredded him as his body left direct contact with hers. The bottle of Jack wore off. He gave her a final look before leaving the room in search of a new bottle. The voices in his head spiraled out of control as he walked through the too silent house. Fighting his conscience, Jimmy took the steps two at a time, groaning when his hip hit a stationary piece of furniture.
Fuck
. His mom must’ve changed the furniture arrangement.
In the kitchen, he searched for the two hidden bottles of aged scotch, the colonel hid from his mother. Hitting pay dirt, he pried off the top and took a healthy swig to washout the sweet taste of Sameera from his mouth. His stomach churned from betraying his brother. He barely made it to the sink before the roiling grew too much. His stomach hardened in a flurry of spasms, emptying its contents. He turned on the faucet and ducked his head under the water, then tilted his head to wash the foul taste of alcohol laced bile from his mouth.
After swiping his hair back, he picked up the bottle and tipped it back. Finishing the first, he tossed the empty bottle and opened the second while the burn washed away everything but the fire chasing his stomach. Unbidden tears wet his cheeks. The more he wiped at them the more they came. He crashed into the table as he walked across the room to head outside. Remembering the house alarm gave him pause. He slid down the wall in the corner of the room, bottle in hand and gave into desolation, draining half the scotch in a few chugs.
“J.J.” Would he ever find reprieve from her sweet voice.
“Go away, Sam.”
“Where are you?” she whispered.
“Down here. Go away,” he slurred a little louder.
“I can’t leave you like this.” Her voice drew closer to him.
“Trust me, isn’t the first time I’ve been drunk.” He swished the bottle before tipping the glass rim to his mouth for another dose of medicine. Her hand touched his as she slid down the wall next to him. Jimmy wiped his face as if she could tell he cried.
“I’m worried. You didn’t come back.”
“You should go back to bed, I’m fine. I’ll be up in a while. Go get your rest.”
“No, you’re not. You’re naked and drunk in your parent’s kitchen. You didn’t even put clothes back on.”
“Yeah, I had to get away from you. What we did was wrong on so many levels. Go to bed. I’m no good for you.” Her startled intake of breath at his words bothered him, not enough to stop spiraling downward though.
“Is that Jimmy speaking or the colonel?”
Jimmy drank as if she wasn’t there. “Does it really matter whose voice is in my head right now?”
“I think you should stop drinking now.” She made a play for the bottle, but Jimmy slapped her hand away.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t be here for you?” As Sam reached over his lap to grab the bottle on the floor, the belt around her waist unraveled. She fought to grab the bottle and to cinch the satin material around her waist.
“Being near me isn’t smart—right now.” His gaze dropped to her small perky breasts.
Fuck, I love her A cup tits.
The memory of her dusk colored nipples caused his dick to stir.
A flush stole across her cheeks as she secured her clothing. “How badly do you want this bottle?” He held the bottle out to her only to bring the lip back to his mouth for a sip.
“Enough to save you from drowning.”
“Too late.” He chuckled. “Drowning, what a novel idea. I’m already dead in here.” He tapped his fingers over his heart, licked his lips and took another shot.
“It’s never too late,” Sameera whispered.
Jimmy ran a hand through his hair and snarled, “Leave me to my bottle or get on my dick. Either way, I’m done talking.”
She did the craziest thing. Instead of running for her life, Jimmy’s gaze followed hers as she hurriedly released the sash holding her robe closed and climbed over his lap, sinking her perfect tight pussy over his rampaging dick. Her slender hands stole the expensive bottle from his grasp before he dropped it and wasted good liquor.
“Fuck, Sam.” He closed his hands over her breasts and watched her ride his cock, her long hair tapping against his thighs. Hot and wet, she set a fast pace. Her beautiful face intense as she rode out her pleasure. Her hands roamed over his chest. Open to her, he couldn’t bust a nut and run. Fuck no, she made him see her, want to possess her.
“J.J.,” she moaned, her body moving over his in jerky movements as she hit her first orgasm, fisting his dick in decadent wetness.
Jimmy didn’t wait. He lifted her off him. “Get on your knees.” He wrapped his hand in her hair, helping to put her in the position he wanted. “Fuck yeah, face down, ass up. Sexy.” He slapped her ass and slammed in. He rode her like a possessed demon. Her breath came out in a rush each time he hit balls deep.
“J.J.” Gasped, she pushed her ass back against him to take the brunt of his jarring thrusts. He loved a woman who could take it rough, liked a savage fuck.
“God damn.” Her silken pussy, contoured for his dick, caressed him, brought his balls to an aching unbearable need. He reached his hand over her hip to play with her clit, reveling in her whimpers and equally hungry need to climax again. He fucked the rage out of his system, using her body as a tool for his grief. Her body convulsed. He didn’t need the lights to see her cream covering his dick, he felt the sticky sweetness of her release. With a groan, he let her constricting heat wrench an orgasm from him.
“Joquan James.” Bright light flooded the room.
A glass shattering behind him brought him and Sam out of the post coital bliss. He set her aside and reached over to grab her robe. Jimmy covered her nude body, not caring about his own nudity. When opened his mouth to speak, the weary, bone-tired look on his ma’s face got to him. His ma cut him off with a raised palm and tears in her eyes.
Great more water works.
“Sam dear, will you please give my son and I a bit of privacy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Sam locked a gaze on him, letting him know she’d stay if he asked her to. He nodded his head toward the stairs telling her to go. As soon as she cleared the room, his mother threw a kitchen towel at him, slapping him in the face.
“You are the most self-centered, disrespectful man I have ever known.” A sniffle accompanied her words. “We just buried your brother and here I find you having intercourse with the woman he loved.”
“The woman we both loved. We both loved, Ma. I didn’t ask him to join the military. He chose to leave us.”
“I know you love her but you are not the right fit for her. Which is why you left and let your brother pick up her broken heart. She lost her family during her senior year, while you were out making a name for yourself. We are the only family she knows and what did you do? God, what if she chooses not to have anything to do with our family now, thanks to you. Can’t you ever keep your pants on? You always did ruin things.”