Kiss Me (Fool's Gold series) (18 page)

He swore under his breath, going through multiple combinations of words until he’d run out of all that he knew. Feeling marginally better, he pushed Phoebe from his mind and concentrated on reaching the campsite by four.

Fifteen minutes later, Maya rode up next to him. She gave him one of her sassy smiles.

“So, big guy, how’s it hanging?”

He didn’t even look at her.

“Not feeling chatty, huh?” She sighed. “That’s hardly noteworthy. I know you probably think I’m here to bug you, but if that happens during this conversation, it’s only a side benefit. My actual point is to say that everything seems to be going well. You must be pleased.”

He eyed her warily. “I’m hopeful we’ll make it through without a disaster. We’ve been lucky, so far. Frank said there’s a big storm due in, but I’m hoping it will stay away until Saturday.”

“I’m betting our luck will hold. You’ll get the greenhorns back to the ranch without them being the wiser as to their purpose. Best of all, I think Chase has learned his lesson.”

Zane wasn’t so sure.

Maya sighed. “Come on, Zane. Give the kid a break. You’ve busted his ass and he’s come through. He earned all the punishment you gave him, but you have to admit he’s done well. Every now and then there’s stark panic in his eyes. That has to make you feel good.”

Zane allowed himself a slight smile. “Panic’s good.”

“So you’ll give Chase credit?”

The smile faded. “He’s taking his punishment like a man. I wouldn’t expect any less of him, but if he hadn’t screwed up in the first place, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

She took off her hat and slapped him on the arm with it. “You’re so stubborn. If I thought I could take you, I’d pull you off your horse right now and beat the crap out of you.”

Zane looked at her.

She shook her head. “I said ‘if.’ I just wish you could see things differently. You complain that I only look for the best things in Chase, but I swear you’re always looking for the bad.”

“That’s not true. I see both sides.” He hesitated, remembering his conversation with Gladys. “I care about him.”

Care. It was as much as he could say. Love would be better, but that word had never passed Zane’s lips. He’d only heard it once in his life—from Sally. She’d screamed it at him the day she’d found out why he’d really married her.

You sonofabitch, I loved you. Doesn’t that matter?

He’d been so shocked, he hadn’t known what to say. By the time he’d realized it had mattered a little, she’d been long gone. Then winter had set in, and if he’d had any thoughts of going after her, they faded with time, telling him they hadn’t been that strong in the first place.

“I don’t want Chase to have regrets,” he said.

“What are your regrets?” Maya asked.

He didn’t answer.

“Zane? Tell me.”

“No.”

She made a strangled sound low in her throat. “You are the most stubborn man. It’s that great mystery I’ve heard whispers about, isn’t it? That’s what you regret?”

He didn’t speak. No way he was going to talk about that with her.

“Did you kill a man?” she asked.

“No. I didn’t kill a man.”

“Then what?”

After a couple of minutes, she gave up waiting and returned to the subject at hand. “You need to give Chase room to succeed as well as screw up.”

“I’m happy to do both, but so far he’s only doing the screwing up. You’re pretty quick to pass judgments, considering you’re here for all of a weekend a couple times a year, then you take off.”

“That should make you happy,” she said curtly. “You never wanted me around.”

He considered her statement. “That’s not true. I liked having you around, and I missed you when you were gone.”

“Yeah. Like a rash.”

He slowed his horse and turned to her. “No, Maya. Not like a rash. I missed you. This was your home, and I always wanted you to feel welcome here.”

Her green eyes widened. “For real?”

He nodded.

She swore. “Don’t you dare get all mushy on me, Zane. It would completely creep me out.” She rubbed her nose. “Okay. Maybe I knew this was my home. I liked being here. Not just with Chase, but with you, too. I always admired you, and if you tell anyone I said that, I swear I’ll castrate your prize steer.”

He grinned. “Castrating a steer would be tough, but I won’t repeat it. Besides, who would believe me?”

“Good point.” She pressed her lips together. “You’ve done good with Chase. I wish you could let yourself see it.”

“That’s not part of the job.”

“Then it should be.”

He hadn’t thought of it that way. “Maybe you’re right.”

She touched her chest. “Be still, my heart.”

* * *

P
HOEBE
FELT
LIKE
a character in a musical. Everything in her day made her want to break into song. Zane liked her. At least Chase thought he did, and she was gone enough on the man to be willing to accept the gospel truth from a seventeen-year-old.

That being the case, when she walked into the clearing before dinner and saw Zane sitting in a camp chair with an empty seat so conveniently next to him, she gathered her courage and walked straight toward it.

“Hi,” she said as she sat next to him.

Zane nodded.

Trying not to be discouraged—just because she knew he liked her didn’t mean that he knew she knew—she offered a bright smile.

“Things went well today.”

“Uh-huh.”

Okay, so maybe Chase was right. Maybe Zane wasn’t that great around women. Maybe he was shy.

She squirmed slightly, not sure she could reconcile “shy” with the intense passion she’d felt during their kisses. But if not shy, then what?

Uninterested in her was the most logical explanation, but she didn’t want to go there.

She nodded toward the small group by the campfire. “I’ve noticed C.J. spending more time with Lucy and Tommy. At first I thought she didn’t really like kids, which is weird for someone who’s a foster parent. But I guess strange things like that happen. Anyway, it’s better now, don’t you think?”

Zane pulled off his hat and ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair. Then he stared at her.

“C.J. braided Lucy’s hair this morning.”

Phoebe beamed. “I noticed that, too. Didn’t it just give you a lump in your throat?” She fingered her own hair. “When I was little, I would have loved a braid like that. With a ribbon on the end.” She stared at the fire. “A green ribbon.”

But ribbons and braids hadn’t been a part of her life, and now that she could do that sort of thing herself, it wasn’t that important. But the memory would have been nice.

She leaned close to Zane. “Martin ate chicken at lunch. When Andrea went off to chant to the trees or something, he took a piece of fried chicken. I was so proud.”

“Andrea can’t be an easy woman to live with.”

Phoebe glanced at the woman in question. She was hovering by Cookie, no doubt asking questions about the meal.

Zane followed her gaze and sighed. “I’d best take care of that before the old man gets violent.”

With that he rose and crossed to the cook fire.

Phoebe watched him go. Once she was able to pull her attention away from the fine shape of his butt and his long-legged walk, she sagged back in her chair.

They’d been talking. Sort of. Zane had actually been chatty, in his taciturn, cowboy kind of way. But she hadn’t been able to figure out what he was thinking. Did he really like her, or was Chase just saying what she wanted to hear? If only she could get someone else’s opinion on that.

She thought of Maya, but dismissed the idea immediately. Her friend was already suspicious, and confirming her affection for Zane would mean opening herself up to friendly teasing for the rest of the trip. She loved Maya and normally wouldn’t have minded, but her feelings for him were too tender to appreciate mocking, however gently meant. She only knew one other source of information.

The cattle had stopped in an open field for the night. Phoebe found Manny right away and crossed to stand next to him.

He acknowledged her with a soft head bump, followed by a brush with his shoulder. Unfortunately the latter sent her staggering back a couple of feet, but she knew he meant well. She scratched his ears.

“It’s Zane,” she said softly, knowing her voice could carry in the early evening. “Chase said he likes me, but I’m not sure. What do you think?”

Manny raised his head and gazed at her soulfully.

Phoebe bit her lower lip. “Okay. Was that a yes or a no?” She sighed. “Wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to get my hopes up. It’s just...” She paused, not sure how to explain her feelings to herself, let alone a steer.

“Something happens when we’re together. I like how I feel when I’m around him. He’s so tough and strong and together, and yet I feel there’s something underneath all that I connect with. Is that too crazy?”

She smiled, knowing Maya would point out it wasn’t much stranger than talking to a steer in the first place.

“The thing is, everyone else belongs. Martin and Andrea, C.J. and Thad. The kids have each other, Maya has Chase. Eddie and Gladys are almost like family to each other.” She glanced around at the herd. “You have your friends here. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have anyone. And I know this is really weird, but I sense the same thing about Zane. Sure, he’s got the ranch and everything, but that’s not always enough. It’s like there’s this empty place inside, and when I’m with him, it gets filled up.”

She leaned against Manny and rested her head on his back. He was warm, if a little dusty, and she could hear the faint beating of his heart.

“You’re a great listener,” she murmured.

Manny munched on grass while she contemplated her next move.

“So what are the odds of you letting me ride you?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t try it,” Zane said.

She jumped and screamed, then turned and saw him standing right behind her.

“I didn’t hear you,” she said, wondering how foolish she’d looked draped across the steer.

“I didn’t want to interrupt your bonding.”

She squinted, trying to tell if he was teasing or making fun of her.

“Manny and I like hanging out,” she said, tucking her hands into her back pockets. “So I was wondering. You said that each of the members of the herd has his own place and that if they get sick and fall back, they’ll return to it when they’re better.”

Zane looked more than a little cautious. “Right.”

“What happens if Manny gets sick? Who takes his place? Do you have a leader in training?”

“We make do until Manny’s better. If he weren’t a part of the herd, another steer would take his place.”

She considered that and had a bad feeling that “not part of the herd” meant something really permanent, like death. Better to not go there.

“Cookie’s about ready with dinner,” he said.

“That’s subtle,” she told him and gave Manny a last pat before heading for the campsite. “See you in the morning,” she told the steer.

Zane fell into step beside her. After a couple of seconds he said, “You know Manny can’t actually understand what you’re saying, don’t you?”

She grinned. “I have an active imagination, but I’m not an idiot. Yes, I know that.”

Zane looked relieved. “I’m sure he likes you and all...” His voice trailed off as if he’d just realized what he’d admitted.

“I like him, too,” she said, keeping her expression serious. “We’re friends.”

Zane muttered something under his breath, then turned to her. “I can’t figure you out. You’re not crazy, but sometimes you’re strange.” He shrugged. “I don’t get it. Or you.”

“I like to connect with people or animals. So I talk to them. Sometimes they talk back.”

“The people, right?”

“Sometimes the animals whisper me a secret or two.”

One corner of his mouth curved up, then the other. When Zane smiled, her entire body felt lighter. Almost as if she was filled with helium and could float.

“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he admitted.

“Is that good or bad?”

His dark gaze zeroed in on her mouth. “Good. Definitely good.”

Her throat twisted up tight, and her skin tingled all over. “Even though you think I could bond with a rock?”

“Rocks need friends, too. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know.”

She figured that had to be a compliment. After all, being told she had a big heart was nothing like hearing she had a big butt.

She thought of Chase’s words, that Zane liked her. Maybe, just maybe, it was true. Wouldn’t that be the coolest thing ever? Because she sure liked him. More than a little. And she wasn’t just talking about the tingles, either.

Phoebe took a step toward him. At that same second, there was a noise in the bushes next to them. Off balance, she started to turn and found herself falling over a partially covered log. She fell at an awkward angle and landed directly on her back. All the air rushed out of her. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but lie there gasping.