“Because you will not be strong enough to fight any of them. You are going with the sole purpose of getting Ryland out, and that task requires you to run away. You must know how to run away from Edmund, from Timothy, and maybe even from Ryland.”
I followed him slowly to the courtyard Wyn had shown me last night. I didn’t know what to say; my anger had lessened, but now I felt somewhat worthless. All my life, Ryland had protected and supported me, and now it was my turn to protect him, and I couldn’t do it. Even with all the power that I now had buzzing under my skin, I couldn’t. There wasn’t enough time to learn how to do that.
The courtyard in the middle of the motel was the type of place I would gladly waste days in. The large branches of the tree that stood in the center of the space reached far over us, shading most of the courtyard throughout the day. What light seeped through the canopy speckled the stone paths and grassy patches with pools of warm sunlight and golden color.
I sat in one of the sun bathed pools of light, Ilyan by my side as he gently taught me to stretch and bend my magic. At first, all the pent-up energy came out in a rush and I covered us with dirt as a small area of ground exploded rather than causing the flower to grow, as I was supposed to do. I was elated; if it was really that easy, then perhaps I had a chance to actually help Ryland after all.
After the initial use however, getting the magic out was a different story altogether. I could still feel it tingle and move under my skin, but I could no longer get it to move beyond my veins and into my control. The buzzing grew and swirled around inside as my frustration twisted into anxiety. Perhaps this was all just a pointless exercise; my magic had been hidden too long. My magic simply didn’t know what to do and was just as stubborn as I was. It made me feel dead inside.
By the time the sun had cleared the roof of the old motel, Wyn and Talon had joined our group. They sat off to the side, a sleepy Wyn curled up against Talon. I was happy they were there, but grateful that they weren’t offering their own advice. I didn’t know how much more failure I could take anyway. After about three hours of trying, I slunk away and leaned against the giant tree that was shading us.
“I give up,” I moaned as Ilyan came over and joined me.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You give up and Ryland dies, simple as that.”
I flinched at his brutal honesty, his stern voice cutting through me.
“Are you still going to give up?”
“No.”
“Good. Now, I have an idea, but it involves breaking a rule. Are you okay with that?”
“What rule?” I wanted to agree, but I was apprehensive about what he was going ask.
“Just answer the question, Joclyn.”
“Fine,” I grunted at him, folding my arms across my chest. I could hear Talon laugh at me from across the clearing; it didn’t do much to improve my mood.
I followed Ilyan back to the space where we had been working, my foul mood increasing as he invited Wyn and Talon over to join us. Wyn bounded over with a wide smile on her face as she barreled into me with a bear hug before settling in next to Talon.
“All right,” Ilyan began, “I need you to take off the necklace.”
“What?” I clutched it in a desperate panic; I couldn’t take it off—I had promised Ryland.
“Don’t worry; you can put it on the second we are done.”
“Why? Why do I need to take it off in the first place? It’s just my magic, right? You said it probably just doesn’t know what to do.”
“While that may be the problem, I think it is something else. I think Edmund’s magic, that is repressing Ryland, is repressing you as well.”
I heard Wyn breathe behind me, but I could only stare.
“But I thought you told me... you told me Edmund couldn’t affect me.”
“I thought he couldn’t, but it looks like he might be able to. If that’s the case, we need to get you using your magic so we can train you to block Edmund’s barrier. Do you understand?”
I nodded solemnly before moving to take off the necklace. My stomach flipped around inside of me. Not only was Edmund hurting Ryland, but he was hindering me as well. I sincerely hoped Ilyan’s guess would be wrong. I handed the necklace to Ilyan, who wrapped it up in a cloth.
“Now,” Ilyan looked at me eagerly, “make the seed grow.”
I exhaled deeply, flexing my fingers as the buzzing shifted into the tips of them. I closed my eyes and focused. I could feel the energy; I could feel what it wanted to do. I placed my hand onto the ground and felt my magic move out and into the ground. Everything shifted under my fingers and a loud popping noise filled my ears. Talon and Ilyan yelled out in irritation while Wyn laughed hysterically.
My eyes popped open. Instead of being surrounded by large craters or flames, I sat in the middle of long grasses and prairie flowers up to my head. I hadn’t conjured all of these, had I?
I looked around in a panic before jumping to my feet. Ilyan, Talon and Wyn all sat in the same places they had a moment ago, except that now they were all covered in dirt and sticks. Wyn continued to laugh hysterically as Ilyan spat and wiped dirt out of his mouth and ears.
“Well, I don’t think we have to worry about how strong your magic is, just how to control it,” Ilyan said between dirt clumps.
I was devastated that Ilyan was right, that Edmund’s restraints had moved through the necklace into me. I didn’t want to think about what Edmund could do to me if he knew about the necklace, about the connection. What worried me so much more was the thought that if Edmund’s magic was restricting me that much, what was he doing to Ryland? I couldn’t get the image of Ryland’s blood-covered bedroom out of my mind; it added to my tortures.
“I can’t believe it was that easy. Especially after all the trouble I had before,” I spoke quietly to myself as I stared at my hands. I almost expected them to catch on fire.
“Evil overlords can do that to you,” Talon said as he handed the wrapped necklace back to me.
I took the necklace and looked at it solemnly. I desperately wanted to put it on, but wasn’t sure if I could, or even if I should. The thought of how much it hindered me, of what it was now beginning to mean, was a heavy, choking weight.
“Go ahead,” Ilyan urged as he sat beside me again. “Put it on.”
“Do you think I should?” I carefully peeled away the folds of fabric to look at the jewel nestled there, the fine silver chain circling around like a snake.
“Yes, I do. I want you to try something,” Ilyan replied.
I removed the necklace from the cloth and carefully placed it around my neck. At almost the exact moment that the ruby touched my skin, I felt my magic slow down, the energy lose some of the wriggling nature that I was becoming used to.
“How bad is it?” Ilyan asked, and I knew what he was referring to.
“Everything slowed down; it almost feels like my body has become sludge.”
Ilyan nodded his head in understanding.
“Your magic is very strong, Joclyn. I think you can fight through this. In fact, if you can master it, it might help everyone in the future, especially Ryland.”
My head perked up. I leaned closer to him, even though my instinct was to move away. My dark hair fell around my face as I bent toward him.
“How, Ilyan? How do I do it?” I asked.
“I don’t know. You will have to figure it out yourself.” He smiled, and I had the distinct impression he did actually know what I was supposed to do.
“Can’t you just tell me?” I pleaded. I needed to know if it could help me save Ryland.
“I would, but I have never actually witnessed something like this. I have ideas, but they will probably not work for you.”
“Why not?”
“Well, Joclyn, because your magic is not developed. For example…” His voice had taken on that deep, commanding tone that I had heard in him the first moment I had met him, in front of the school.
I flinched away.
“…if I told you to try to perform a double barrier and reverse it, would you be able to do it?”
I just stared.
“Or, how about an extended growth spell? No. You would not know what to do. I could teach you all that in a month, maybe two, but not today, not when your knowledge of magic is so limited. You have to figure it out for yourself because you don’t know all of the basics yet.” He looked away from me with superiority.
Wyn rubbed my back sympathetically, whether because Ilyan had just put me in my place or because I looked absolutely forlorn, I had no idea.
I lay back in the grass, dejectedly. Of course, it couldn’t be quite so simple. I looked through the grass to the dirt, my mind spinning as I tried to figure out what to do. I could feel the low buzz of my magic. I still felt the desperate need for it to get out, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t come.
I flexed my fingers and placed the very tips in the dirt, digging them in a bit. The warm earth and the electric hum from within me combined aggressively, but the magic would not move. I had the foolish thought to cut my skin to simply let it out. While probably a very natural progression, the image of cutting my own skin brought visions of Ryland being tortured to the forefront of my memory.
I flinched at the image, wiping it from my mind. Then I paused; the image had instigated something. I could still feel the super-charged buzz as the magic released into the ground where my fingers touched it. I now knew what I needed to do, and although I sincerely didn’t want to, I brought a vision of Ryland to my mind.
This time, I chose the gentle image of him placing the necklace around my neck. The beautiful memory caused my heart to swell, and with it, a tiny bit of energy expelled itself. It wasn’t enough to do anything, but it was something. I felt the warmth of it leaving my fingertips before it subsided.
I tried again, this time remembering the first time we had climbed the trees and how he had gently coaxed me down and hugged me tightly. My soul flew at the imagery, the magic surging momentarily and shooting out of me, causing the grass to grow about an inch. It was more, but it still wasn’t enough.
I sat up, staring at my dirty fingers in amazement. I had felt it; felt the change. I could have sworn I could almost feel the restrictive cover that the necklace placed over me shift. If only I could shift it enough to overcome it.
“What is it, Joclyn?”
My head snapped up to see all three of them looking at me, confused. I could tell they had just been laughing about something; Wyn’s shoulders still stuttered, as if trying to restrain a latent laugh.
“It’s... I thought...” I paused. No matter how much I was learning to trust Wyn and was growing to like Talon and Ilyan, I still wasn’t sure I was ready to go into everything quite yet. “It’s nothing,” I finished lamely.
Talon turned away from me, returning easily to whatever conversation they had been having a moment before. Wyn stared at me a moment longer before shrugging and returning to jabber along with Talon. Ilyan, though—Ilyan continued to look at me curiously. The intensity of his gaze locked me in place, the familiar blue shooting into me, sending shivers up my spine.
I didn’t like the sensation that his gaze gave me. My stomach glittered with the attention, while simultaneously shying away from him. I was thankful when he looked away, releasing me from my inner turmoil. I shouldn’t be as comfortable with him as I was; I didn’t want to be.
I threw myself back into the grass and focused on what should be my only thought: getting my magic under control so I could help save Ryland.
Last year, when the spring flowers had begun to bloom, Ryland had taken me up the mountain to have pie. We had arrived right at dusk, and Ryland had been quieter than usual during our trek through the forest. When we had gotten there, he had produced not only the pie, but a chicken dinner he had obviously bribed my mother to make; he knew it was one of my favorites. I could still see his broad grin as he produced the food, the memory surging my magic. I plunged my fingers into the dirt again as a small amount escaped. I pulled my attention back to the memory, desperate for more magic to find its way out.
I think it was that night in the mountains that I had started to fall in love with Ryland. After we had eaten and laughed and joked as we always did, we had chased each other through the forest with the water guns that Ry had brought along. I had snaked through the trees, unable to keep my giggling contained, giving Ryland more than one opportunity to soak me. My sneakers had squished as I walked, another sure give-away. I had caught sight of Ryland ahead of me and prepared to make my attack when a perfect circle of flowers caught my attention.
Purple pansies grew among the pine needles and forest decay in a dainty, four foot wide ring. It was such an odd flower to find in the forest, and the circle so perfectly round. I had walked around it slowly, something pulling me to stand in the middle of it, even though I was sure it was taboo.
“Go ahead,” Ryland had said. Now, even a year later, his voice remained crystal clear in my mind.
My magic surged again, but none escaped.
I had stepped over the border of flowers slowly, laughing at the intent of this new game. Ryland had walked around me, hailing the king of the fairies and urging him to accept me as a gift and to treat me well, his voice barely able to contain his laughter. Ry had leaned down slowly and plucked one of the beautiful flowers, presenting it to me with smoldering eyes…
“How did you do that?” Wyn said.
I shot up, surprised at the garden of pansies that had grown around me. Ilyan and Talon had disappeared, leaving only Wyn to witness my amazing breakthrough. I reached out and touched the soft petals; they were almost identical to the ones from my memory.
“Ryland. Our memories together,” I whispered, fighting the tears that still fought their way out from my extended visit with such beautiful memories.
“Really?”
I didn’t dare look at her; I only nodded.
“You think of Ryland, and your magic can move? What do you think of? Kissing him, his rippling muscles...? What?”
My heart thudded as I looked up to her: I didn’t know what to say. “No, nothing like that. Just him. Memories of him.”
Wyn’s shoulders slunk sadly. “Like kissing him?”
“No, Wyn,” I whispered. “I have never kissed him.”
She stared at me in shock; she almost looked scared. “Never?”
“No, never. I mean, we got close,” I added, just in case she got the wrong idea, “but we never actually made the connection.”
Wyn continued to stare at me with that strange look on her face. I ran my finger through the flowers again in an attempt not to look at her.
“Is that bad?” I asked when the silence had become too much.
“No, no, no.” Wyn reassured me. “It’s just that... normally to have a connection as strong as yours, you would have at least kissed.”
I began to feel even more uncomfortable. I looked down into the carpet of flowers as the blush crept up my cheeks.
“Your souls must be connected,” she sighed.
I couldn’t help but hear that teenage longing in her voice.
“It’s like you are meant to be.”
I rolled my eyes at her, but secretly, I hoped she was right. At least then I would be able to save him.