“Ryland!” I panted between screams, calling to him, desperate for him to make a connection. “Remember the tree… the old guard… at the hospital… Remember when we… ran away…” I screamed and panicked as the pain increased. He only laughed as he looked at me through the depthless pit of his black eyes.
“Remember when you kissed me…” I tried one last time before my voice broke; my mind too dizzy and confused to focus properly. My head slumped down; I focused on my own heartbeat, hoping that Ilyan would find me, that someone would see me, before it was too late.
“Joclyn.”
My head rose slowly to see him—Ryland, blue eyes and all—looking at me. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything; I just looked at him. His eyes looked me over, stopping in a panic when he saw the dagger that still remained in my chest, his hand and my skin covered with wet, sticky blood.
“Oh, God, what have I done?” he asked as he released his magical hold on me and I fell into his arms. He held onto me tightly as his magic surged into me; I felt the warmth fill me all over as the dizziness retreated and the flow of my blood seemed to stop. I looked up at him carefully, the obvious request lining my face.
“We have to get out of here,” he whispered, not waiting for me to respond before he exploded into the air, my body still pressed tightly against his.
We didn’t even make it past the hole in the ceiling before the entire process was reversed. A gust of wind I knew neither of us controlled pushed against us in the opposite direction, dragging us back down to the destroyed floor below.
Ryland’s arms went limp and I tumbled out of them, heading down toward the ground, fast. My fear of falling only lasted a moment before Ilyan’s wind grabbed me and pulled me, soaring across the room, straight into his arms.
“It’s time to go,” he hissed in my ear.
I turned from Ilyan, searching for Ryland. He stood across the room from us, his body tall and still as he looked intently in our direction, his eyes back to the colorless cast. He didn’t move; he didn’t flinch; he stayed still, just as his father commanded him to do.
Edmund’s hand was placed on Ryland’s shoulder, the fingers curved aggressively as they dug into Ryland’s skin. Edmund seemed to taunt us from across the room, his stance just willing us to come and attack him. I knew we would lose if we tried, but I did not want to accept it.
“Ryland!”
“We can’t take him, Silnỳ,” Ilyan said. He wrapped his arms around me as he pulled me away from them.
“No!” I yelled out in a panic, reaching for Ryland.
“I can’t get him away from Edmund and get you out of here safely, Joclyn. You are my number one priority now. We have to go.” Ilyan grabbed me tightly around the waist, and jumped us back. Edmund had just released Ryland’s shoulder and Ryland was now advancing toward us surprisingly fast.
“No! I can do it! I can save him!” I don’t know what made me say that; I knew I couldn’t. My heart beat wildly as I fought against Ilyan’s arm; my body, my heart, desperate to get back to Ryland.
“I can do it! Let me go!” Ilyan held me tighter as I fought against him, my hands clawing uselessly at his strong arm.
Ryland kept advancing as Ilyan restrained me, the members of the guard surrounding us again in an attempt to escape together.
“Ryland. Ryland!” I screamed until my voice broke, my mouth filling with the taste of blood. “Let me go! Ryland!”
Ilyan tightened his grip and I felt us take off into the air, the wind blowing against my skin as Ilyan took me away from the one person I wanted, the one person I needed.
“Ryland.” I continued to fight, not caring if I fell. I needed him.
I fought Ilyan, calling Ryland’s name in a desperate hope that he would change back, that he would see me and follow me. Our eyes locked as Ilyan flew me through a wide hole in the roof, the night sky swallowing us up and taking me away from him.
Now, I knew it was too late. His eyes faded to blue just as we passed beyond the roof of the building, but Ryland only looked at me in confusion, no trace of recognition on his face.
No matter if I came back, no matter how hard I would try, it was too late now. Edmund had erased every part of him.
I watched the fire that had embraced the building; I watched the purple and green flames lick the roof and reach their slinky arms up to the sky. I saw the red and blue flashing lights of the emergency vehicles that surrounded the mansion, the hordes of people who came, either to watch or to huddle around the ambulances in panic. I watched as the bodies became indiscriminate specks and the flames became tiny orbs of colored light. I watched as the building became nothing more than a colorless speck in the midst of the city lights. I watched as it all disappeared into the blackness of a starless, moonless, hopeless night.
Through it all, I cried; my heart calling to Ryland as he disappeared from my life forever. I clung to Ilyan as my chest was wracked with sobs, my breathing ragged and broken. I drenched his shirt with my tears and any other gross secretions that joined my broken heart. He didn’t seem to care.
Ilyan held me close to him as he flew us through the air, his arms holding me securely. In the back of my mind, I knew that he was singing to me. I could feel the rumble of his chest; hear his deep, comforting voice in my ear. But I didn’t know what was being said, though; I didn’t understand what the words meant.
“Teď tiše, moje malá. Upokoj se, buď klidná. S novým úsvitem se svět změní. A když se změní, uvidíš, jaký bychom měli být, ty a já.” He sang it to me slowly, over and over.
My tears slowed, but the pain didn’t go away. I had lost everything. My father had left me, only to disappear shortly after renewing contact. My beautiful mother had been murdered, a casualty of the war I had been thrust into. Moreover, my best friend, the new love who was so ruthlessly torn away from m
e—
his mind had been erased and all memory of me had been stolen from him.
I was only vaguely aware when Ilyan landed. His arms loosened as he attempted to lower me down, but I held onto him tightly, my heart terrified of losing one of the last things I had. I clung to him like a terrified child, locking my fingers together in a panic.
“It’s okay, Silnỳ.” He tried to release my arms again, but I only held on tighter.
“No!” I wailed into him, clinging to him. “Don’t leave me.”
“I am not going anywhere. I will be right back.”
I felt his magic surge through my blood stream, and my body instantly relaxed. I sank to the ground, my eyes only barely registering Ilyan’s retreating footsteps. I looked around myself, not really taking in the dirt, dried leaves and pine needles.
I had barely registered where I wa
s—
the fire pi
t—
before Wyn kneeled before me. Her pants were torn and covered in dirt, the brightly-colored ‘Queen’ t-shirt burned and ripped at the hem.
“He’s gone.” My voice broke with my tears.
“I know.” Wyn’s voice wasn’t condescending, or comforting, but my heart still rent open to hear it from someone else.
“I failed him, Wyn.” I sank down further, my body falling forward into Wyn’s lap. She wrapped her arms around me, her head resting on my back. I felt her warm breath against my skin, her tears falling like dripping ice against me.
“It’s all right, Joclyn. We will get him back.”
I sat up, throwing Wyn off me, my blood heating to a sudden boil.
“Get who back, Wyn? He’s gone! There is no more Ryland! He’s gone!” I screamed as loud as my sore and broken voice would let me. It was probably a good thing Wyn’s battle-worn face already looked like someone had punched her or I probably would have.
“I was supposed to save him, and I failed. I was supposed to protect him from his father, and I couldn’t. He’s not there anymore!”
“He has to be there, Jos. He loves you so much, h
e—
”
“Loved me. The Ryland who
loved
me doesn’t exist anymore. I lost my father because of a stupid mark! My mother was murdered because you people cursed me! And now I have lost Ryland, the one person who meant the most to me!” I felt that uncontrollable anger seeping into my soul again; the desire to fight and yell and scream hit much stronger than it should have been.
“Enough, Joclyn.” I heard Ilyan’s commanding voice flow over me; Ilyan’s magical barrier freezing my emotions in place.
I felt the anger vanish, leaving me with the soul-crushing sadness of my heartbreak. I sank into the ground, my body curling in on itself. I ran my fingers over the dirt as I looked to the tops of the trees I had climbed so many times.
“It’s okay, Ilyan; she’s just hurt. She doesn’t mean what she’s saying.” Wyn’s voice was tiny; I could barely feel her hand against my shoulder.
“I know, Wyn.” There was a pause and I heard Ilyan exhale deeply, his magical restraints peeling off me a bit. “It’s time to go. You and Talon are going to carry the tail of the western evacuation and go home through Los Angeles.”
“And Joclyn?” Wyn’s voice was hesitant.
“Joclyn will be going into hiding with me. Ryland marked her, the Zȇlství is complete. I am not sure if Edmund is going to use their connection to track her down or not. Until I know for sure, she is staying with me.”
“Then I am staying with you, too.” Wyn’s voice was forceful, but sad; I couldn’t imagine what it had cost her to say that, to commit to leaving Talon. I unwound myself from my cocoon of pity to look at her, my heart melting.
“You can’t leave Talon, Wyn.” My voice was soft and broken. “I left Ryland, and now he is gone. Please, for me, stay with Talon.”
Our eyes locked as she reached forward to take my hands. A million thank yous, a million emotions passed between us before she stood, our hands extended between us in a last goodbye.
“I’ll see you soon,” I whispered. She could only nod. The phrase “going into hiding” did not bode well for quick reunions.
She squeezed my hands before turning away from me and then she and Talon took off into the inky night sky.
“It’s time to go, Silnỳ.” I looked up at Ilyan, surprised to see tears falling down his own cheeks.
Ilyan didn’t expect me to stand; he leaned down and lifted me securely into his arms. He didn’t cradle me as he had before, but held me against him in a bone-crushing hug that took my breath away. He pressed me against him as we soared into the air, the wind whipping his hair and what was left of mine around us. My emotionally drained body sank into him, a few soothing lines of his calming melody sinking into me before I fell fast asleep.
I woke up the next morning in a gray apartment. The walls were gray, the curtains were gray. It was an ugly gray palette that I had no interest in seeing. I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head, trying to block out the light. I breathed deeply, but it came out ragged and torn. I had cried all through the night.
“Did you get everyone out?” Ilyan’s voice was calm and even. I could tell he was on the phone by the way he switched back and forth between Czech and English.
“We made it to the third safe house. I made everyone go before us, so they all should be safe.”
I rolled over to lie on my back, throwing the blanket away from me. As I moved, the necklace shifted onto my skin; I had almost forgotten about it.
“Yes, get everyone to Prague. I will start the evacuation on my end. The more of a trickle we can form, the safer everyone will be.” He came around the corner, surprised to see me awake.
“I am still keeping her with me, Ovailia; we have a lot of work to do and she is safer with me.” He snapped his phone shut and leaned against the wall.
“How are you doing?” he asked, his voice tentative and quiet.
I looked at him before turning away, fixing my eyes on the ceiling.
“I’m sorry, Joclyn.” His voice was deep and soothing, but I brushed his condolences away. I just wanted to be mad. “Everything will be all right, Silnỳ.”
I just nodded at him; I didn’t trust myself to say anything polite.
“We are going to be staying here for a week, maybe two, so make yourself comfortable. But please, stay inside. It’s not safe to go out right now.”
I nodded again, my head falling to the side, looking blankly at nothing. Ilyan smiled sadly at me before leaving, calling behind him his plans to take a shower. I heard the door click and desperately hoped there was another bathroom I could hide in; somewhere I could lock the door. Judging by the fact that I could see the kitchen from the bed I lay in, I wasn’t holding out much hope.
I exhaled heavily, my voice shaking at the action before beating my head against the pillow. My tears came strong, my heartbreak increasing the more I tried to ignore my emotions.
“I’m sorry, Ryland. I failed you.”
I didn’t want to be here; all I felt was an overwhelming sense of loss, of failure. I continued to bang my head against the pillow until my head began to ache, my temples throbbing. I focused on the pain until a new throbbing interrupted me.
The necklace was beating.
I sat up in one movement, desperately clawing at the fine chain around my neck. I didn’t care about what Ilyan had told me; I didn’t care about the danger. I just needed to see him, to know he was okay. I plunged my magic into the necklace, my efforts draining me. I closed my eyes as I fell back against the bed, the white room appearing before me.
“Ryland! Ryland!” I screamed the second I entered the open space.
“Yes?” I spun around, eager to face him, and saw nothing.
“Who are you?” a little voice asked.
I cried out, falling to my knees as my eyes came level with his. My heart broke as I looked at him. He was only a child, younger even than when I had first met him. My hand flew to my mouth as I sobbed, his blue eyes growing wide at my reaction.
“It’s okay,” his little voice was soft as he placed his small hand on my shoulder. “Are you hurt? I can make it all better; my mommy says I am very good at making things all better.” He smiled widely, his mop of curls bouncing.
I just shook my head no.
“Are you scared then? I get scared sometimes. The cook, Marie, taught me a song about whistling that takes the scares away. Do you want to hear it?”
I shook my head no; there were fewer tears, now. I was gaining control, trying desperately to ignore the heartbreak.
“I’m... just... sad...” I choked out.
“Why?”
“I lost someone very important to me, someone I love.”
“Who?”
“My very best friend.”
“Oh.” He paused and dug his toe into the ground. “I don’t have any friends. You can be my friend if you would like.” He was so eager, so much like he had been that first day when we had met.
“I would like that very much.”
“I’m Ryland.” He stuck out his hand; I took it eagerly, expecting something to happen, my heart breaking when nothing did.
“Joclyn.”
“What a funny name,” he giggled, his body shaking.
I couldn’t even bring myself to smile.
Ryland looked at me with all the innocence, all the sparkly-eyed, new-world wonderment a youngchild ha
s—
a child who has known no pain and felt no heartbreak.
“You have very pretty eyes,” he said softly. “They look like diamonds.”