Authors: Susan Sey
The doorbell pealed, a solemn
bong
.
James
Harper. He’d insisted on picking her, and she’d agreed. It was going to be a long evening in his toxic company, but she’d made a bargain. At this point, she had nothing left to lose by keeping up her end of it. Let the press get a few good shots of them walking the red carpet together and maybe he’d be satisfied enough to leave early. If his daddy let him.
She
put on her most
professional smile
and opened the door.
“Karl!” She stood back, let him march into the apartment. “Wow. It always surprises me how good you look in a tux.”
He p
ulled a
hanky from his pocket and mopped at his glistening scalp. “I hate dressing up. Such a waste of money and resources.”
“I know.” In spite of everything unresolved between them,
she smiled.
He was just so...dependable. Maybe they didn’t always agree but at least he never surprised her.
“A necessary evil.”
He looked at the hanky with disgust. “I don’t know what the hell the hotel’s washing these with, but it’s like wiping my head with sandpaper.”
Nixie rubbed a corner between her fingers. “Somebody starched the crap out of that.”
“
God
, I miss Africa. Don’t you?”
Nixie turned around, presented him with her back. “Can you get this zipper for me?” she asked. “I can’t reach.”
He yanked it up and Nixie gave an alarmed squeak. “Easy, Karl. This is a
Badgley
Mischka
.
And I have to give it back in the morning.
”
He frowned at her bare shoulders. “That’s a lot of skin, Nixie. Is it going to stay up?”
Nixie crossed her arms over her chest. “
Is that a crack at my figure?
”
“What?” He colored slightly. “No.
God
. I’m just saying, it’s kind of
--”
“Hot?”
His flush deepened. “You didn’t have to
do this, you know. Taking Harper
to the g
ala tonight was a good
move, but nobody expects you to, um...” He waved a hand up and down toward her dress.
“To out-hot Sloan?”
Karl looked uncomfortable. “Yeah.”
“Don’t worry. I know my limits. Out-
hotting
Sloan isn’t on the agenda.”
She
moved
toward the mirror at the far end of the living room, leaned into the enormous mirror and slicked her mouth
a
deep bronze. She dropped the lipstick into her useless confection of a purse
and turned to face him.
“Well? Will I do?”
He
frowned at her
. “
As long as your dress stays up
.
I am
not
in the mood to smooth over a wardrobe malfunction.”
She sighed. Had she really been expecting a compliment?
“So, we have a few minutes.” She
perched on the edge of the wretched
sofa. She was going to burn it one of these days. “
I know you too well to think you’re
just
here to say hi.
What’s on your mind, Karl?”
He didn’t sit, just watched her with those
sharp pale
eyes. “You know what’s on my mind.
Bumani
.”
She smoothed the silk over her knees while
what was left of her
heart twisted in her chest. “I’m not going to
Bumani
.”
“Why not, Nixie? Jesus!” He flapped his arms and paced th
e
length of the room. “I don’t understand what’s gotten into you!
Is this still about that damn doctor?
”
“
This has nothing to do with Erik
.” She stood and cla
sped her hands calmly in front of her, as if speaking his name didn’t make her stomach ache with regret and loss. She
watched Karl
stalk through the room,
raking his hands
through
his hair until what little he had stood out like a frazzled halo
. “This is purely my decision.”
He shot her a
narrow
look. “
Bullshit. Don’t stand there with that martyred face and lie to me
.
I know he dropped you. Everybody knows.
”
“
Lovely.
”
Karl
glared
.
“
Nixie, come on. I don’t begrudge you the detour
, okay? You’re young. Y
ou deserve a wild hair every now and then. But you had your fling and now it’s over. The guy doesn’t want you.
”
Nixie flinched
and he rel
ented with
a great, gusty sigh.
“
Listen, honey,
I know you’re hurting
.” He moved toward her, took her cold hands in his big warm paws. “
For what it’s worth, he doesn’t deserve you. Never did
, the a
sshole.
”
Tears came into her eyes in a wild rush and for a moment, she couldn’t speak. A choked noise escaped her--a laugh? A sob?--and she shook her head. She
let herself bask in
the
solid press of
the hands that had picked her up from every fall she’d ever taken. And God knew she’d taken a
doozy
this time.
“Karl?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve had a very bad week.”
His laugh was a familiar rumble that eased the aching vacuum in her chest a degree or two. “I know, kid. What
do you say we get out of here?”
“What? And stand up my date?”
He patted his chest pocket. “I have three first-class tickets to
Bumani
right here
that say
Harper can
go stag tonight
.”
Nixie pulled her hands back, a sudden chill sweeping over her exposed skin. “
You want me to go to
Bumani
tonight?
”
“Of course.”
I
mpatience
warred with warmth in Karl’s eyes
. “Where else? The doctor screwed you. Why don’t we screw him right back
? We’ll
go help some folks who’
ll appreciate you instead.
”
“You’d screw a bunch of kids to avenge my train wreck of a love life?”
Karl put both hands on her shoulders, and they bowed under the weight of the responsibility he placed there. “
This isn’t about your love life. It’s about doing the right thing.”
“The right thing.”
“Listen to me, Nixie. What you’re feeling right now? This whole dramatic life’s-lost-all-meaning heart-break
crap
? It isn’t real. Love is bullshit. Temporary at best.” He bent until she had to meet his gaze. “You want to know what’s real? Paying your debts. Recognizing what you’ve been given and giving back accordingly. P
eople are dying
--
literally
dying
--
because you
’
re chasing
a
fairy tale
.
It’s time to be the woman you were meant to be, the woman I raised you to be. And that means putting away these childish dreams and getting on the damn plane
.
”
Nixie
’s eyes slid away from his while
her stomach twisted inside her. “And if I don’t?”
she whispered.
He straightened, let his hands drop away from her
shoulders. “Then you’re no
body I care to know.”
A panicked weightlessness shot through her limbs and for
once she was glad for the couch. She sank onto the arm and tried to give him an ironic smile.
“
What does that mean, exactly? Nobody you’d care to know. Are we talking
about
a shunning
? Disownment? Would I be dead to you, or would all be forgiven if I start behaving?
”
He shook his shaggy head slowly, sorrowfully. “
Don’t joke about this, Nixie. I was there when you were born.
W
hen you
were baptized. Phoenix
Kasmira
isn’t
just a name
. It’
s a responsibility.”
“To rise up from the ashes,” she murmured, “and command peace.”
How many times had she heard that growing up? Hundreds? Thousands?
“A responsibility,” he said again, “that I raised you to fulfill.
I won’t stand by and watch you deliberately sentence innocent people to poverty, disease and death just so you can chase
rainbows
.
I love you, but I have to do what’s right. I want to do it with you just like we always have, but
if you refuse
,
I
will
replace you
.
”
Nixie’s heart
fluttered like a
wounded
bird inside her chest
.
What was it with her and men with extreme ideas about the personal and professional? Maybe Erik was a little insane about keeping the two separate, but for Karl the distinction didn’t even exist. The professional
was
his personal. Which meant, she realized now with another twist of her battered heart, that if Nixie wouldn’t be his star, if she refused to be the face of his campaign to save the world, there was no room for her in his life. At all.
“
I
can’t believe
this, Karl
. You’ve been my mentor, my guide, my father. You taught me what it means to be good. To
do
good.
”