Authors: Susan Sey
Grow up, Nixie. Grow the fuck up.
The words were still rattling around Nixie’
s head when Karl appeared at Sloan’s
elbow. “
I need Nixie.”
Sloan
cut
her eyes
toward the crowd of rapt eavesdroppers who were trying valiantly to pretend they weren’t listening
. “We’re kind of in the middle of something here.”
“It’s important.”
She shrugged.
“
Your call.”
“It’ll have to do,” Karl said
and
turned to Nixie. “
There’s so
mething
you need to
see,
”
he said.
“Come with me.”
Mary Jane
pulled back and swiped a couple fingers under her eyes in the way women did when they were trying to salvage a makeup job.
Erik was no expert but he didn’t think it was going to help.
“Thanks
for doing that
,” she said, then gave up
swiping
and just scrubbed at her cheeks with both hands.
“What are friends for?”
Erik fished a hanky from his pocket and handed it over. She took it, but instead of mopping up her face, she crumpled it into a tight ball in her fist.
“In our case, I’m starting to think it’s being a fake fiancé upon request.” She sighed and plunked
down on the edge of huge concrete
planter squatting in the corner. “You know we’re not getting married, right?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Are you in love with Nixie?”
“Yep.” Erik tucked his hands in his pockets, amazed at
how good it felt to just admit that. “Are you in love with
Tyrese
?”
Mary Jane shrugged. “A hundred years ago, maybe. Now? I don’t know. He’s completely wrong for me.”
“
Yep. Nixie, too. Doesn’t seem to matter.
”
“He
works for a
gang
, Erik.
He teaches them how to squeeze the maximum potential profit out of their
guns and
drugs and lord knows what
.
All the love in the world isn’t going
to fix that.”
“Yeah.
I guess not.” He poked a finger into her shoulder and said, “Still, he’s really good looking. Doesn’t that count for something?”
She shook her head and
pinched the bridge of her nose
. “
To think I ever considered getting married to you.”
“Hey, I have it on good authority that I’m an excellent catch. You’re sure you want out?”
Mary Jane’s mouth quirked up in a shadow of her old, sly smile. “Yeah, I’m out. Besides,
that thing about you being such an awesome catch? Y
ou don’t want to believe everything your mother tells you, all right? She’s a politician.” She twisted the ring off her finger and held it out. Erik took it and tucked it into his pocket. He wondered if he’d still run into Nixie immediately, now that he wasn’t trying to propose to Mary Jane.
“
At least we didn’t make a formal a
nnouncement or anything,” she said. “
Can you imagine
how hard it would be to back out of
--”
She broke off as
the balcony doors burst open
.
Framed there in the brilliant lights of the ballroom were Karl,
Nixie
and Missy Jensen of Channel Four
news.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Missy poked a microphone in
Erik’s
face and said, “
Dr. Larsen! Dr.
Riley
!
I understa
nd congratulations are in ord
er?
”
Erik g
lanced
at the crowd of curious onlookers behind the camera, saw
Tyrese
there and felt his momentary optimism deflate like a day old balloon. He shifted his gaze to
Karl
--smug, beaming Karl
--
then to
Nixie
.
Who wasn’t smiling. Who wasn’t frowning. Who wasn’t...
anything
.
Something was very wrong with Nixie. He moved toward her, but she pushed a hand toward him, stopped him dead.
“You’re engaged?”
she
asked.
“He is
,”
Karl boomed cheerfully
. “
Has been, actually
.”
“A secret engagement?” Missy asked, her smile tickled.
Erik didn’t answer. Nixie’s eyes hadn’t left his, and her gaze had him pinned.
“Is that true?” she asked, her
voice low, urgent
.
He glanced at Mary Jane whose gaze was fixed on
Tyrese
. Ah, shit.
“
Yes,” he said, forcing the words out through lips that wanted to clamp down and keep the lie inside. “I’m...sorry.”
“How long?”
Nixie heard the words, heard herself speak th
em, but they were dull and distant over the roar in her ears. Something was happening to her, something terrible.
The emptiness inside her chest stretched, strained, and
it took both
hands on her sternum
to force
in a thin breath.
She saw
Mary Jane sho
o
t to her feet
next to Erik, saw her clutch
at his sleeve. “Erik, no. You don’t have to
--”
“How long did you wait?” she asked, cutting through Mary Jane like she didn’t exist. She didn’t, really. Not for Nixie. Nothing existed for Nixie except Erik and the noise in her head
that
twisted and rose and reached like a funnel cloud
. It fed on t
he guilt in his eyes,
and the horrible pressure inside her grew until it was everything and she was nothing. Until her skin went hot and tight and fragile. “How long did you wait between fucking me and asking another woman to
marry you
?
”
She was dimly aware of the people around them, their nervous eyes, their worried glances. Hands came toward her, touched her elbows, her shoulders, her back, but she shook them off with a fierce shudder and stepped forward.
She put
her face
right into Erik’s
.
Wanted to see the truth of his answer chase itself through his eyes.
“
How long
did you wait
?”
“
I didn’t
,” he said, and
his eyes
were
stark and honest
. “I
didn’t wait at all
.
I left you and I went to her.”
The roaring in her head died abruptly, leaving behind one awful beat of ominous silence. Then everything in Nixie exploded. The pain layered under the numbness buried under the pure, aching emptiness--it all went up in a molten jet of rage
that snapped and roared like fire, leaping and dancing and destroying
. Fury spurted into the hollow at her core, filling her,
consuming
her. It shot along her skin, danced up into her head and
turned the air around her hot and dangerous.
Power coursed through her and she glo
ried in the sharp slap of it. In t
he sting of coming back to life a
fter
so many
years
of playing dead. Of pretending the insult
s didn’t hurt, the rejections were
deserved, the debts of the world were somehow hers to pay.
“Nixie?” Erik reached toward her, his brow creased in concern. A concern that she’d have given the world for an hour ago, but now just fed the beast inside her that devoured pain and turned it into this sparkling, heady rage.
“Don’t touch me.” She shook off his hand. “You don’t get to touch me. I’m not yours, and that’s your fault. I offered. Offered you everything. You
took it, then
gave you
r ring to somebody else. So
don’t bother
pretending to care now
. It’s too late.
I don’t want your concern and I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you. Not anymore.
”
And then Karl was beside her, sidling up to her shoulder, touching her elbow, murmuring in her ear.
“Enough, Nixie,” he said softly. “Enough. It’s time to
make your speech, wrap this up and move on
.”
She switched her focus to Karl, to the small smile hiding in his beard. A small smug smile. She’d pleased him, she realized. She’d finally shoved Erik aside, just as he wanted.
Just as he’d planned.
She’d
behaved
.
He hooked a hand inside her elbow and drew her
into the ballroom
.
The crowd
parted for her as if she were on fire. Maybe she was. Karl didn’t seem to notice.
“You’ll want
James
beside you
at the podium
,” he said. “He doesn’t need to speak, just be seen in the position of honor next to you.
After Sloan’s little scene, it’ll be enough.
You’ll want to mention Senator
Harper
, of course, his invaluable assistance in addressing this sham
eful problem going unnoticed three
miles from the Capitol
--”
He went on and on as he steered her toward the podium, kept dropping his words into her ear, one after the other, without waiting to see if she wanted more. Jus
t like always.
The
boiling lake of fury
inside her sent up a fresh streamer of
lava
as Nixie arrived at the steps to the stage.