Kisses After Dark (19 page)

He loved the way her body felt pressed against his. The overly abundant breasts she hated so much, the still-flat belly where their baby resided, the heat between her legs and the sweet smell of summer flowers in her hair… He was filled with gratitude to be able to hold her and touch her any time he wanted or needed to, which was pretty much all the time.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. I just wanted to hold my wife for a minute.”

“I’m glad you did, but we need to get going. Victoria is always on a tight schedule.”

He brought his hands up to cup her face. “One kiss and then we can go in.” He stared at her precious face for a long moment before he brought his lips down on hers, keeping his eyes open and focused on her.

“What’s gotten into you today?”

“Nothing that’s not in me every other day.” He slung his arm around her as they headed for the main doors to the clinic.

“Mac?”

“Hmm?”

“Love you.”

“And now my day is made.”

She laughed and nudged his ribs with her elbow. “You already knew I love you.”

“Hearing it is the best part of my day.”

“You’re so easy.”

“So you tell me.”

They checked in at the main desk and were told to take a seat and that Victoria would be out for them in a few minutes.

“So tell me what kind of traumas I can expect to experience at this appointment.”

“What kind of traumas
you
will experience? Are you the one half-naked with your feet in stirrups getting probed in front of your husband, whom you hope will still want to have sex with you after what he’s about to see?”

He swallowed hard. “Um, no, I’m not the one in the stirrups, and newsflash, babe, your husband will
always
want to have sex with you.”

“Good to know. Vic said she’s going to do an ultrasound at this appointment, even though I’m only at eight weeks. The usual routine is to wait awhile, but because we’re on an island, they like to do it earlier in case there’s anything to be concerned about.”

A pang of fear stabbed his belly at the thought of anything wrong with her or the baby. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“It’s perfectly routine, and if there’s anything going on, wouldn’t you like to find out now so you can whisk me to the mainland and boss people around at the hospital?”

“I can’t even think about anything going on.”

“Don’t worry, Mac. When you worry, you stress me out.”

“Sorry. I’m trying, but Hailey’s birth is still fresh on my mind and then P.J. ...” He shuddered over how close his sister had come to bleeding to death when her son was born. Once again, David Lawrence to the rescue. Thanks to his heroics in both cases, Mac had all but forgiven the guy for cheating on Janey.

“Stop. You’re spinning. Breathe.”

He panted in an imitation of Lamaze breathing, which made her laugh as she patted his leg.

“Very good.”

Victoria called them back a few minutes later. The dark-haired nurse practitioner-midwife greeted Maddie with a hug. “You look great!”

“I’m being more careful about what I eat this time around,” Maddie said with a frown. “I was way too indulgent with Hailey and paid for it after.”

“You were gorgeous when you were pregnant with Hailey,” Mac said.

“Gorgeous and fat.”

“Not that I ever saw.”

“You have to say that. You did this to me.”

“Oh no. Not this time. This one is
all
on you.”

Victoria laughed at their banter. “I’m not even going to ask…”

“Suffice to say there was champagne involved,” Maddie said with a laugh.

After Maddie was weighed and provided a urine sample, Victoria handed her a gown. “You know the drill. Everything off from the waist down.”

“Oh joy,” Maddie said.

“Victoria,” Mac said, “before I forget. Do you know Lisa Chandler?”

“Sure, she comes in with her kids to see David. Haven’t seen her in a while, come to think of it. The boys must be healthy.”

“They are, but she’s got an awful cough. She told my cousin Shane she can’t afford to come to the clinic.”

“Ugh,” Victoria said. “I’ll tell David. He’ll stop by to check on her.”

“Thanks,” Mac said, relieved to know Lisa would get some help.

“I’ll be right back,” Victoria said.

“I’d be happy to help you out of your clothes,” Mac said to Maddie when they were alone.

“Stay over there. This is a no-hanky-panky zone.”

“You’re no fun.” Deciding to make his own fun, he started opening drawers in the exam room, checking things out. Some of the items were positively draconian and made him cringe as he imagined what they might be used for. “Holy shit, they’ve got a gross of condoms in here. Wish I’d known that when I was sending Janey out to buy them for me. Could’ve saved me a ton of grief.”

“Mac! Knock it off. Close that drawer and don’t touch anything.”

“What? I’m just looking.”

“You’re stressing me out worrying that she’s going to come in here and catch you.”

“What’ll she do? Kick me out?”

“
Mac
.” She pointed to the spot right next to the exam table.

Because she was adorable and he loved her, he moved to the appointed spot. “Happy now?”

“Stay. Behave.”

“Yes, ma’am. Am I allowed to put my arms around you?”

“That and nothing else.”

“I love when you’re stern with me. It turns me on.”

“Mac! Shut
up
.”

He was still laughing when Victoria knocked on the door and came into the room.

“Sorry for the delay. Things are crazy as usual here today.” Always efficient, Victoria got right down to business, moving Maddie to the edge of the exam table and settling her feet in the stirrups.

“Do not look down there,” Maddie said to him. “You’re allowed to look right here and nowhere else.” She pointed to her eyes.

“Yes, dear.”

While Maddie grimaced her way through the internal exam, Mac did as he was told, even though he’d much rather be watching the goings-on below. But he knew his wife well enough by now to know when she was being dead serious.

“Don’t you know most guys don’t want to see what goes on down there when their wives are being probed?” Maddie asked.

“Very true,” Victoria said. “Most of them require smelling salts after their wives have a routine pelvic exam.”

“I’m not most men.”

Maddie grunted out a laugh. “No, you’re not. You’re a freak show.”

“Thanks, love.”

Maddie rolled her eyes at him.

The snap of latex gloves indicated the end of the invasive part of the program.

While Victoria washed her hands, she said, “As I mentioned last time, we do a quick ultrasound at eight weeks to make sure everything’s going according to plan. If we see anything that needs further examination, we send our moms to an OB on the mainland. It’s all perfectly routine, okay?”

“Yep,” Maddie replied, reaching for Mac’s hand.

Victoria covered Maddie’s lap with a sheet and raised her gown over her belly. Next came some gel stuff followed by the ultrasound wand.

Even though he’d seen this done before with Hailey, Mac was fascinated by the view that appeared on the screen. Not much more than a blob, but that blob was his kid. Mac’s heart melted at the first sight of their baby.

Victoria ran the wand around on Maddie’s belly, watching the screen intently. “Hmm,” she said.

“What?” Maddie asked.

“I’m going to have you turn onto your left side for me, if you will.”

With Mac’s assistance, Maddie shifted into the requested position.

“What’s wrong, Vic?” Maddie asked.

“Just give me a minute.” She moved the wand around while continuing to watch the screen, almost without blinking.

A tingle of anxiety went down Mac’s spine.

“Let’s try it vaginally.” They moved her to her back for the more invasive procedure that ended when Victoria removed the wand.

“Hang on just a second, Maddie,” Victoria said before she left the room.

“What’s going on?” Mac asked.

“I don’t know.”

She sounded scared, and Maddie never sounded scared. While they waited for Victoria to return, Maddie gripped his hand tightly.

After about five very long minutes, Victoria returned. When Mac saw that David was with her, his heart sank. That couldn’t be good.

“Hey, guys,” David said, his tone friendly and relaxed.

“What’s wrong?” Mac asked the man who would’ve been his brother-in-law.

David glanced at Victoria, who took a deep breath before she spoke. “I wasn’t able to find the baby’s heartbeat.”

“Oh God,” Maddie said, her eyes filling. “No.”

Victoria rested her hand on Maddie’s shoulder. “David is going to give it a try before we jump to any conclusions.”

David went through the same ritual with the gel and the wand, but the room remained stubbornly silent.

In all his life, Mac had never heard a louder silence.
God, please. Please don’t let this happen
.

After a thorough exam with lots of clicking on the computer screen, David removed the device from Maddie’s belly and used a paper towel to wipe up the gel.

Mac felt like he was going to be sick or pass out or something equally unpleasant while he waited to hear what David had to say. The small room was suddenly closing in on him. Since flaking out on Maddie, who was crying silently, wasn’t an option, he forced air into his lungs and swallowed frantically to keep from puking.

“We’d like to do a blood test to get some more information,” David said.

“Am I… Did the baby…” Maddie fumbled over her words as she continued to sob.

“We don’t know anything for certain yet.” David rested his hand on Maddie’s shoulder. “The blood work will tell us more.”

Mac had only felt this helpless one other time—the night Hailey was born during the storm.

“I’ll get that going right away,” Victoria said, scurrying from the room.

“David, please…” Mac cleared his throat. “Be straight with us. What do you think is happening?”

“I’d hate to say before we have all the information.”

“Please,” Maddie said, hiccupping. “Just tell me.”

David sighed. “I’m so sorry to say that we could be looking at a miscarriage, but we won’t know anything for certain until we run the blood work.”

Mac’s chest ached as he tried to comfort Maddie from an awkward angle. Her heartbroken sobs destroyed him.

Victoria returned and made quick work of drawing the blood.

“We’ll be as quick as we can,” David said before he and Victoria left the room.

When they were alone, Mac said, “Let me hold you, sweetheart.”

Maddie let him help her up so he could sit behind her, his arms around her.

“It’s m-my f-fault,” she said.

“Why in the world would you say such a thing? It’s not your fault. You’re a wonderful mother.”

“I-I didn’t want to be p-pregnant again. How many t-times did I say that?”

“Maddie, honey, of course you didn’t want to be pregnant again so soon after Hailey was born. But just because we didn’t plan this baby doesn’t mean we didn’t want him or her.”

“I wanted him. He’s a b-boy. I know he is. I wanted him.”

“I know, honey. I did, too.” Mac wanted to weep and wail, but more than that, he wanted to comfort her. “No matter what happens, sweetheart, it’ll be okay. I promise.” He would make it okay for her or die trying. “We have each other and our two beautiful kids.” With the back of his hand, he brushed away his own tears, determined to stay strong for her.

David and Victoria returned, and their grim expressions told the story.

“I’m so sorry,” Victoria said, “but we believe the fetus is no longer viable.”

“Why, Vic? What did I do wrong?” Maddie asked.