Knight of Desire (40 page)

He approached cautiously. “You look a little tired,” he said, trying to show his concern for her. “Perhaps you should retire?”

“I am not in the least bit tired,” she snapped.

He sat down on the bench beside her and tried to think of something else to say.

“It has been too long since I visited the tenants,” she announced. “I want you to take me for a ride around the estates tomorrow.”

Her suggestion was so unexpected, he forgot his resolve to keep his patience and not rile her.

“I shall not permit it,” he said flatly. “There are too many dangers outside the castle walls.”

She slammed closed the prayer book she had been reading and banged it down on the table.

“Will you keep me under lock and key in my chamber, husband?” she demanded, her eyes burning holes into him. “You are a worse
jailor than my Welsh captors!”

Her eyes flicked to the table. Before he knew it, she picked up a pitcher and threw it at him. She stormed out of the hall,
so angry she did not appear to see Eleanor near the entrance.

He caught the pitcher, but cider splashed onto his clothes and was dripping from his hands. As he shook his hands, he looked
up to see Eleanor watching him from across the room. She arched an eyebrow at him.

“How long have you been there?” he asked.

“Long enough to see you are going about this all wrong.”

She walked over and handed him a cloth from the table. “Perhaps I did send you off to your father too soon,” she said, shaking
her head. “It is remarkable how little you know about women—at least about the woman who is your wife.”

William wiped himself off as best he could and tossed the cloth on the table.

“Come, sit down,” Eleanor said, gesturing to the chairs near the hearth. “Let me help you.”

His mother had made colossal mistakes with her own life. So far, she’d caused nothing but pain and trouble in his. It was
a sign of how desperate he was that he was willing to listen to her advice.

“You are forgetting whom you married,” she said once they were settled by the fire. “A woman who would cross her husband to
spy for the prince is not like other women.”

“Of course she’s not like other women,” he grunted.

“You did not marry a demure child, so you should not expect your wife to like it when you treat her as one.”

“I do not treat her like a child,” he said through clenched teeth. “I merely wish to keep her safe.”

“What you do not seem to understand is that Catherine takes pride in her strength,” Eleanor said. “It is important to her
that you value that in her as well.”

“Are you suggesting I let her ride alone—pregnant as she is—all over the countryside at her whim?”

His mother sighed deeply to let him know he was trying her patience. “What I am saying is that you mustn’t cosset her. If
you do, she will find a way to defy you. Or worse, she will comply and become a different woman from the one you love. Either
way, you will make her unhappy.”

William thought back to when he arrived to take the castle. Catherine was magnificent that day, bold as brass, coming out
alone on the drawbridge to meet them.

“I admired her courage from the start,” he said.

“Then you must let her know that,” his mother said. “A woman enjoys having her looks and charm appreciated, but she wants
to be loved for what is best in her, for what she values in herself.

“Go to her now,” she said, patting his knee. “She loves you, so it should not take much to set things aright.”

For the first time since he was a very small boy, William kissed his mother’s cheek. Long after he had gone, Eleanor gazed
into the fire, her fingers stroking the place where her son’s lips had touched her.

William searched their rooms, but Catherine was nowhere to be found. With his mother’s warning that Catherine would defy him
ringing in his ears, he looked about her bedchamber more carefully. There was no sign of hurried packing. No open chest with
gowns hanging over the side, as when she had run off to the abbey. Praise God.

What a fool he was. She must be up in Jamie’s chamber. He turned to go, then turned back. Everything was in its place….

Her riding boots were missing.

He grabbed his cloak and ran down the stairs two at a time. As he raced across the bailey, his breath came out in white puffs
in the cold night air. How long had it been since she left the hall? He prayed it was not time enough for her to escape.

As he slipped through the stable door, he saw the glow of a lamp in the far corner. He was not too late.

When he saw her hooded shadow, the memory of their first meeting at Monmouth swept over him. As he thought of the straightforward
and determined girl he found in the stable that night, it struck him with sudden clarity that his mother was right.

He was a wiser man back then. Though he was young and she a stranger to him, he had understood her intuitively. That night,
they managed to find a compromise between her determination to do what she felt she must and his equal resolve to keep her
safe.

It gave him hope they could do so again.

Taking care not to make a sound, he crossed the stable. When he stood just behind her, he said, “I see you still have not
learned to saddle a horse in the dark.”

She let out a short scream and whirled around to face him.

After a long moment, she cocked an eyebrow and said, “I suppose I should be grateful you did not knock me to the ground this
time.”

“Just as I am grateful you do not have a blade aimed at my heart.” Tilting his head, he added, “Though I suspect you wish
you did.”

“I pray you do not drive me to it.” Her tone made William hope she had left her blade behind.

Without another word, she turned to take her horse’s bridle from its hook.

He clasped his hand over hers. In a quiet voice, he said, “Let me do that for you.”

She looked at him sharply. But as she examined him, her expression softened. “You will go with me?”

“I shall go with you, or you shall not go,” he said. “Just as before.”

His heart felt tight in his chest when she responded with the first genuine smile she had bestowed on him in much too long.

The men at the gate were not able to cover their surprise when he ordered them to open it. Telling himself it was safe enough,
he stifled the impulse to grab her reins and turn around. God’s beard, even rebels had more sense than to be out on a night
as cold as this.

She led the way around the castle to the path by the river. He was relieved to see that, in deference to her pregnancy, she
kept her horse at a walk. Despite the fact that she had him out riding at midnight on a December night, he must try to remember
she was usually a sensible woman.

They dismounted and walked up the bank overlooking the dark river. The moon and stars were bright in the night sky. William
wrapped his cloak around them both and held her close against him.

“Are you warm enough?” he asked.

“Mmm,” she murmured, leaning back against him.

“I know why you came riding with me that night at Monmouth,” she said. “You were afraid of what would happen if you carried
me kicking and screaming to the keep.”

“Aye, that was one reason.” He chuckled, remembering, and rubbed his chin against the top of her head.

“But later, after just one kiss, I wanted to forget my honor and steal you away.” He closed his eyes and tightened his arms
around her. “That is what made it so hard for me to believe about Jamie’s father. If I’d had you in bed even once, I could
not have left you as he did. I would have killed Rayburn and defied the king if need be, but I could never have let another
man have you after that.”

After a time, she asked, “Why did you come with me this time? What made you change your mind about keeping me in the castle?”

He took a deep breath and let it out. “I wasn’t hovering over you because I thought you were weak,” he said, though it was
hard to admit. “I did it because I knew I was.”

She turned around to face him. “You don’t have a weak bone in your body, William FitzAlan. What can you be talking about?”

“I never felt true fear until I knew Edmund had you behind that barred door. And then, when I saw you covered in blood and
believed you were dead…” He swallowed hard against the memory. “I was lost in a darkness so deep I thought I would never come
out of it. And I did not care if I did.”

She took his hand and held it against her cheek. “I should have realized how it was for you to find me like that.”

“I would not change you from the strong, bold woman I love, but you must help me find my way,” he said, wanting to make her
understand. “Twice I have nearly lost you. I live in fear another disaster will befall you—and that when it does, I shall
fail you again.”

“You are a good man, William. A man of honor.” She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest.
“I do not know why God chose to bless me by making you my husband, but I am very grateful.”

Later, as they rode back to the castle, William felt light, as if a burden was lifted from him. A feeling of happiness welled
up inside him. They pulled their horses up in a clearing to take a last look at the river. When Catherine suddenly threw her
arms up to the heavens and laughed with the same joy he felt, he knew he had all he ever wanted.

They stopped in the hall to warm their hands before the hearth. As soon as Catherine could feel her fingers and toes again,
she raised an eyebrow at William and cocked her head toward the stairs.

When they reached the solar, he removed her cloak and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

“ ’Tis late,” he said, and kissed her forehead. “You must be tired.”

She pulled away from him and went to the door to slide the bolt. Then she turned and gave him her best wicked smile.

“What is it?” William asked.

She nearly rolled her eyes, the man was so thick.

Keeping her eyes fixed on his, she dropped the blanket at her feet. She began undoing the buttons at the back of her gown.
When he rushed over to help her, she grabbed the front of his tunic and pulled him against her.

“Kiss me.” It was not a request.

He gave her a slow smile, then leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.

She was having none of that. Clasping her hands behind his neck, she gave him a kiss to remember. When they finally came up
for air, she grabbed his belt before he could get away. She unfastened it and slipped her hands under his tunic and shirt.
When her fingers touched warm skin and rough hair, she smiled.

Victory was within her grasp.

William grabbed her wrists to stop her. “What are you doing?”

“You did tell me I would have to help you find your way,” she said, fighting a grin, “but I thought you would remember this
part.”

He released her wrists and took her face in his hands. “I do not think you are ready for this, love.”

“Oh, but I am.” She tilted her head back for another kiss, confident he was losing his will to fight her.

When she felt him melt into the kiss, she ran her hand along his erect shaft. He sucked in his breath and tried to pull back.
She drew him deeper into the kiss and lifted his hand to her breast.

Thankfully, he did not need further direction.

She was breathless when he turned her and lifted her hair to finish unfastening her gown. He kissed her neck, sending thrills
down her spine.

“Are you sure?” he whispered against her skin.

“Aye,” she sighed as he worked on the buttons, “I have grown weary of waiting for you.”

He chuckled and eased the gown down to kiss her shoulder. Impatient, she tugged the gown down to her waist.

No more hesitation, no more light humor. His passion exploded. He pulled her hard against him, his mouth hot and wet on her
neck, his hands cupping her breasts. She closed her eyes and dropped her head back to rest against his shoulder. This is what
she needed to wipe away the memory of Edmund’s touch.

William scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the bedchamber. Again and again through the night he told her he loved
her.