Knockout (20 page)

“Or Laney,” I added.

He nodded vaguely. “Or Laney.”

Mom made a disgusted sound as she reached for the call button. “Jenna, that’s reckless and thoughtless of you. What if he’d gone under again? He still might!”

“Mom, he’s sitting right here.”

“And he knows I’m right,” she said angrily.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“Don’t be sorry,” she snapped. “Be smart about things. How hard is that?!”

“Hey,” Kellen said, his voice angry.

“I’m gonna go,” I said as nurses began pouring into the room. I stepped quickly out of the way, inching along the wall to stay clear. “I’ll go meet Laney in the waiting room.”

No one answered me. No one said a word as I left and the chaos Kellen was dreading erupted around him. But I felt the weight on my back. The weight of his eyes and his words and something else. Something I hadn’t thought of in years. Something like Sublime and sweets and a song I couldn’t forget.

Laney blew past me in the waiting room with barely a glance. I didn't blame her. She tore through that hospital like a blonde blur, a nurse recognizing her, nabbing her and securing a mask to her face as they broke through the swinging doors. I wasn't really sure what I had thought my part to play was out there. She knew the way to his room and I didn't know any more than mom had told her on the phone. I was pretty ineffective at the moment and that's exactly how I felt.

I also felt weird leaving now that he was awake, but I went outside. I stepped into the damp sunlight, breathed the fresh air and wondered what would happen now. How long would it be before we could take him home? Now that he didn't need a translator did I even have a place here? A right? It felt like I had been pushed away but by who I wasn't sure. It definitely hadn't been Kellen. Was it me? Was I running? He was awake and alive, I should have been thrilled. I should have been shouting in the streets and dancing on air. I should have hugged him. So if that's what I was supposed to do, why was I out here in the rapidly cooling air shaking like a leaf in the wind about to welcome the Fall?

"Shit," I muttered to myself.

I needed to sleep. I couldn't keep going half awake, half dead like this and expect to think straight.

As I walked down the busy New York street toward our hotel, I decided to call my dad. I didn't know if my mom would have called him already but once I thought about talking to him, I couldn’t shake the desire to do it.

"Hey, Jen," he said happily, answering on the second ring. "How is everyone?"

"Awake," I told him, though when I heard my voice I realized I sounded half asleep.

Dad hesitated. "Kellen is awake?"

"Yeah. He just woke up this morning. Mom and Laney are with him now."

"Where are you? Sounds like you're outside."

"I'm heading to the hotel to sleep. I was just coming off watch with him when he woke up."

"Did you talk to him? Did he remember you?" he asked anxiously.

"Yep. He knew me immediately." I grinned, remembering. "The first thing he said was my name."

Dad hooted loudly with excitement. It hurt my ear but my grin grew to a smile. I listened as he shouted for another couple of moments, I think I heard a 'booyah!' in there somewhere, then he was back.

"That is such a relief," he said breathlessly. I could hear the smile in his voice. "When can he come home? What do the doctors say?"

My smile faded. "I don't know exactly. Mom and Laney are talking to the doctors with him now."

"Why did you leave?" he asked, becoming lawyer alert.

"I was tired."

"Which one did it?"

"What?"

"Which one of the girls upset you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Kellen is awake but you left. Just like that. You're tired, I believe that, but you're also his closest friend. You wouldn't have just up and left him. He didn't upset you enough to leave, men don't intimidate you, but women do."

"They do not!" I cried indignantly.

"They do," he countered firmly. "It's because you don't understand them. You're better with men. You get them. You can handle yourself with them. Women, especially women like Laney and your mother, they don't make sense to you and they get under your skin. So I'll ask you one more time, which one was it that upset you enough to make you leave that room?"

I glared at the ground wishing it was him, wishing he wasn’t right. "Mom."

"Uh huh."

"She thinks I'm stupid."

"And irresponsible."

"Thank you,” I said sarcastically. “I'd almost forgotten."

"She's wrong, you know."

"Want to tell her that?"

"You think I haven't? You're brilliant, I know that. You know that. Laney and Kellen know it. But your mom can't see past the tattoos and the hair."

"My hair is almost completely natural!” I exclaimed, tugging gently at the strand of brilliant blue mixed in with my natural black. “She's not a real blond. Who is she to judge?"

"For my sake please never mention that to her. The point is, as much as women don't make sense to you, you don't make sense to her. It's not that she doesn't love you, honey, it's that you freak her out. She doesn't get you."

"What's to get? I’m simple. Stupid."

"Do you get the manicures? The pedicures? The facials? The designer dresses, shoes and purses? The parties? Cocktails?"

"I like cocktails."

"You like Corona,” he corrected. “And whiskey."

"Tell me you don't."

"I'm a guy. In your mom's eyes I'm allowed. You get what I'm saying, though. You don't get her any more than she gets you and it makes things tough for you guys. She and Laney are two peas in a pod. They can relate. Just like you can relate to Kellen and I."

I leaned back against the rough brick exterior of our hotel, unwilling to go inside even though I was exhausted. I closed my eyes as I took a shaky breath.

"It was so good to look at him and have him look back," I whispered.

"I can only imagine,” dad said gently.

"He was weird."

"Weird how?"

"I don't know. He was almost... angry."

"Hmm.” Dad did his famous thoughtful pause. "He was probably confused. I can't imagine waking up from something like that is easy. Is his hand still casted?"

"Yeah. He was annoyed by that."

"No surprise there."

"Did you know he'd stopped boxing?"

"Yeah," dad said reluctantly. "He told me. I was shocked."

"Me too. It's not like him to give up on something like that."

"He did it for Laney and love," he sang. It sounded flippant. I didn't ask, but I knew he wasn't convinced it was for the best. He wasn't alone.

"I think I should come home," I said suddenly, surprising us both. "He's awake and speaking English. I have school and work waiting for me."

"Jenna," dad began.

"He doesn't need me. He has mom and Laney here."

"Yeah, exactly."

"What does that mean?"

Dad sighed heavily. "Okay, look, never repeat this but if I were Kellen and I needed to rely on someone, I'm not sure I'd want it to be those two."

"Why?"

"Because they need comfort more than they give it. Did your mom cry when he woke up?"

"Yes."

"Did you?"

"No. I probably should have."

"There is no 'should have'. Either you did or you didn't, that's you. And you didn't cry. That's what he needs. He's a rock but he's wounded. He needs another rock he can count on. I guarantee you that your mom will call me soon and ask me to come out to organize everything for getting you all home. But do you think you can handle that?"

"Of course I can. It's plane tickets and cabs."

"You see? Rock. Don't you leave him."

"Fine," I grumbled. "Can I go to sleep though?"

"Of course. He's not leaving today. Get some rest. Get ready."

"For what?"

Dad chuckled softly. "The whirlwind."

***

He wasn't kidding.

It took another week and a lot of tests, a lot of time, but they finally released Kellen to go home. I was put in charge of prescriptions and schedules, making appointments with specialists back in California and arranging our flight back home. Dad was right. Mom begged him to come take care of it all and help us get home, but he handed it off to me. I got mom's credit card and the reigns. What I didn't get was any complaint from her, something I was sure I needed to thank dad for later.

I was never alone with Kellen during that time. Laney or mom were always there in the room, usually all of us at once, and I could see it wearing on Kellen. That cranky, angry feel he had to him when he woke up didn't go away. He was snappier than usual. Not mean or cruel, but his patience wore thin easily.

“What do you want to wear on the plane?” Laney asked him as she rummaged through his suitcase.

We were leaving today. I had checked us out of the hotel and all of our bags, all except Kellen’s, were waiting in a car outside that would take us to the airport. Mom was waiting with them to make sure no one stole them which meant she was making sure the cab driver didn’t drive off with her Prada. I told her she was being paranoid. She told me that if I ever stopped shopping at the Gap I’d understand the value of things. I walked away, mostly because I was insulted at the idea that I’d ever buy anything from the fucking Gap.

“I don’t care,” Kellen replied easily.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed still in his hospital gown. All of the tubes and wires had been removed from his body but he still looked frail to me. I’d never tell him that ‘cause I’m not a jerk, but I felt it. His hair was shaved off in one section where
they’d drained some fluid and both of his surgeries had taken place. The massive gauze wrap was off his head but there was still a small white bandage covering the bald patch and the scar that would probably always be there. But all of that aside, what made him feel small to me was his actual size. He’d been lying in a bed for weeks without any activity. His bone structure demanded he be a big guy no matter what his muscles said, but I’d never seen him so… diminished. I knew he felt it too. How could he not? He was a gym rat, hooked on the high of going every single day and now he was forced to stay in bed and watch his body fade. I would have found it heartbreaking if he’d let me.

“Does he have any sweats?” I asked. “Or gym shorts?”

“There are gym shorts in there,” Kellen told Laney. “Blue ones.”

“You’re not wearing gym shorts to the airport,” she mumbled, still searching his bag.

“Why not?” I asked. “It’ll be comfortable. He should wear sandals too so the security shoe bit is easier.”

“I didn’t pack any,” he said, shaking his head and pointing at Laney. I got it. She wouldn’t let him.

“There’s a Target near here. I can go grab you a pair for like $2.”

“Do it. Thanks.”

“Do not do that,” Laney shouted, finally looking up. “He has loafers. They slip on and off just as easily.”

I scrunched up my nose at her. “Yeah, but they’re loafers.”

“Wasn’t I wearing them…” He paused before saying it. Before referencing the accident and both Laney and I physically froze as we waited. “They’re dirty, aren’t they?”

Laney shook her head, looking at me. Her eyes were pained. “I had them cleaned at the hotel.”

“Here,” I said, stepping forward and tossing clothes aside. I’d seen something in the bag, something that could fix everything. “You have running shoes. We’ll knot the laces so they stay on but they’re loose enough to slip on and off. Problem solved. Now let’s find him some shorts or he’ll have to board the plane in a hospital gown with his cheeks to the wind and mom will just die.”

Laney stood firm on the no shorts issue but Kellen demanded his favorite jeans. And by ‘demanded’, I mean he told Laney to quit bitching at him about every little thing and let him get dressed in peace. I took that opportunity to head outside and wait with mom. I wasn’t getting in the middle of that mess.

When we finally made it into the cab, to the airport and through security, Kellen was wasted. He was breathing unevenly and his body was obviously spent.

“Jenna, help me find someone who works here,” mom told me. “We need to get him a wheelchair. Or have them come by with one of those golf cart kind of things to take him to the gate.”

“No, I’m fine,” Kellen said firmly.

He was absolutely not fine. A thin sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead and he was swaying slightly. But he was also proud. Too proud to get in a golf cart kind of thing or another wheelchair.

“Baby, you’re exhausted,” Laney cooed, running her hand up and down his arm.