– Where should we go now? – with this phrase Vika sets the command upon me. It's so fluttering to be trusted… I wish I could justify this trust. I try to remember role-playing spaces' maps but abandon this idea immediately, these are drawn by whoever wants to.
And at this moment I hear a quiet drumming from behind the nearest cliff, either a mad horse with castanets on its legs or a giant with jaws clattering of cold.
There's no time to think.
– Here, quick! – I whisper and dive into wilted fir grove, put Unfortunate on the snow and press a finger to my lips, – Tsssss…
Vika and Unfortunate can't be seen from the path. I stand on it, outstretching my legs widely and pull off the belt. 'Warlock' unwraps into the fiery lash with a rumble.
I must look pretty scary, a gloomy male naked down to his belt, with the shoulders powdered with snow. I ve modeled Gunslinger's body sinewy and strong, it's immediately seen that he's a mighty fighter… and this glowing lash in his hand too… any troll would be scared.
The clatter comes closer.
I make a bloodthirsty grimace and wait.
A little figure, hardly as high as my chest comes out from behind the cliff.
A giant with clattering jaws indeed…
The face and build of the traveler is like the child's but something is definitely wrong with his hormones: his legs, bare up to his knees, are covered with thick fur. Oh yeah, with such paws it's cozy even in the snow. A little drum hangs on traveler's chest and he beats on it with sticks as he walks.
A hobbit.
That's good.
Noticing me, the hobbit stops dead on his tracks, even one drumstick falls in the snow.
– Hee-hee… – I say evilly.
The hobbit doesn't drum anymore but his jaws really start to chatter.
– Who? – I demand, stretching 'Warlock' towards the hobbit. The lash starts to lengthen excitedly and I have to pull it back quickly.
– Harding, s…sir! – whispers hobbit.
– Who? – I ask again in a normal voice this time. But poor hobbit is in utter panic now, he even doesn't try to grab a small dagger carelessly stuck behind his belt.
– H-harding, kind sir. S-sam sired Frodo, Frodo sired Holfast, Holfast sired Harding…
– You, huh?
– Me, kind sir!
– Quite in vain!
– Yes, kind sir, – agrees Harding obediently.
– Don't 'sir' me! – I bellow, – And even more – I'm not kind at all! I'm… – the sudden inspiration strikes me, – Conan! Brave Conan the Kimmerian!
Hobbit definitely have heard of Conan, he starts to nod frequently, not asking how the hell had Howard's character got into Tolkien's world. Though, role-players are the folks that are easily carried away and such trinkets don't limit them. I could even call myself Koschej The Immortal {
a Russian folklore evil character
} if my build would allow me to.
– Where are you going? – I go on with questioning circling around the hobbit. He turns around trying not to lose me from his sight.
– Catching up with the a-army…
– What the hell army?
– The Elvish one… We go to beat the Orcs and the Dwarves!
– Why?
– Because they are bad!
I start to be more and more sure that it's a little kid in the hobbit's body. An adult would find more serious arguments and of course would try to fight.
– Army… – I say thoughtfully, – Ah, yes! I remember, there was one…
The dread is in hobbit's eyes. He squints at the fiery lash, not doubting the sad fate of the Elvish army anymore.
– I've heard that you hobbits are marsupial, – I inform, – Huh?
The hobbit shakes his head in shock and presses his hands against his stomach.
– Any grub?
Brave Harding gives me his rucksack, where I find a couple of cookies, a chunk of smoked meat, a flask; I soften.
– Provident you are, hobbit… And what is this?!
I hook out 'Snickers' from the sack's bottom.
The hobbit bursts into tears immediately. Yeah, the kid alright.
I tear the wrapping from the candy with teeth, bite off a half, the rest of it I return to the hobbit. He stops crying at once.
– How do you think, will you beat the Dwarves? – I inquire. One can't just rob the guy and let him go. What about to chat?
– We will! – nods the hobbit, – They make arrows from yew-tree, and these are bad! And also they fight in 'hird', and this formation is bad… {
Hird – a native Dwarvish battle formation, a kind of phalanx, described by Nick Perumov in his book "The Ring of Darkness"
} I don't have even a bit of eager to get into details of the quarrel between the Elves and the Dwarves.
– Is a city far from here?
– Lorien is 5 miles away…
Something is wrong with geography here… oh well, never mind. If I also could find out the server name…
– Who is ruling this land?
– Fair Legolas the Elf!
Alrighty, this information is enough.
– Go, – I say hanging the hobbit's sack on my shoulder.
Harding doesn't protest against the robbery. Even more, he shyly asks:
– Can I go with you Conan? They'll beat the Dwarves without me, I guess.
Yeah right… I do really need that… I make an evil grimace again and whisper:
– Don't you know that the hobbit is not only costly fur? Also it is 30-40 kilos of tasty, easily digested meat!
Books don't lie, hobbits really can run fast: just furry heels blink away in the snow dust.
I return to Vika and Unfortunate in the best mood. They heard the talk, so I don't have to repeat it for them.
– Here's the food, – I hand the sack to Unfortunate, – Now we'll make a bed for you and will exit the Deep. We'll return openly, through Lorien, with normal gear and will get you out of here. Okay?
Unfortunate nods.
– You'll have to wait for three-four hours… – I say thoughtfully, – Is it okay?
Though we don't have any other choice anyway. I won't be able to drag him under the snow, half naked, for five miles. Together with Vika we make a bed from twigs under the old fir tree, put Unfortunate on it and hand the sack with trophies to him. A light alcoholic beverage is in the flask, one better not use it to warm up in the real frost but why not in virtuality?
– Let's surface? – I ask Vika, – We'll meet in three hours… say, at the entrance into Legolas' server.
She nods, a moment – and her form dissolves in the air.
– Take care Unfortunate, – I say.
Abyss-abyss, I'm not yours…
100
I exited right in time, it's 9:45 AM.
– Immersion completed, – I ordered to Windows-Home and attacked the fridge. Without any result, of course.
– Downloading the mail, – informed the computer.
Hurriedly dressed, I ran out to the street. Fortunately it was almost nobody in the shop around the corner, and I was back by 10, just in time to tap Maniac on the shoulder who was dolefully ringing my doorbell.
– Gonna down some nourishments?
– Yup. Will you?
– Me too. But later. – Maniac squeezed into apartment before me. While I was shaking off my shoes, he was by the computer. When I padded to him, he had already shut down Windows and was squirting along the Norton cube marking file by file.
– What are you doing? – I asked in shock.
– Trying to save you from debtor's prison, – replied Maniac deleting programs, – 'Warlock' was rehabilitated: a clean, not spreading virus, never damaging data. Allowed to use in virtuality. Allowed to be used at one's own risk…
My computer have lost a couple more files. The winged slippers seemed to perish too…
– … But "Labyrinth" and Al-Kabar have hung two and a half million dollars in damages on you.
I even feel joy of such an amount.
– Why not a billion? There's no difference, I won't ever earn this much anyway… and even never steal.
– Sure… it might have been billion… – agreed Maniac jerking the mouse across the mousepad, – When did you clean the mouse last time? Now, listen here. Gunslinger is no more, and never existed – on your machine. Insert a different personality in the seventh position. If possible, provide alibi… How did you manage to get them so, Len'ka?
– I've dragged one guy right from under their grasps… Saved.
– That's good of course…
Maniac have stuffed a diskette into the drive, started some program from it.
– Now we'll clean your winchesters so well, there'll be no trace even on the physical level. – he threatened, – Or, even better, just sell these and buy new ones. Or throw them into the Neva river from the bridge.
I felt discomfort. Maniac would never panic without a reason.
– Got some vodka?
– Cognac…
– Not so good, but will do, – he frowned.
I gave him the bottle, ready for Shurka to pour an alcohol into computer guts, for the complete guarantee of success… But he took a mouthful himself, then extracted the ball from the mouse, breathed on it, rubbed it against his sleeve and put it back. Then he informed:
– We'll commemorate the sale of three viruses. You advertised 'Warlock' well.
– Shur, I need to go back…
– Gee, you can't be serious, diver! – laughed Maniac without turning around, – You must hide now!
– I can't. Impossible.
He just shrugged and advised:
– Sell your winchesters anyway.
– I was going to upgrade the whole thing…
– Really? Well, so go ahead and sell it with all its guts. Or donate it to some kids' club. You won't earn much for this piece of crap, while kiddies will kick it to death in a week, nobody will be able to restore it.
Remembering the robbed hobbit I nodded uncertainly.
Maybe I really should rejoice the young generation with an old comp?
And just how proud I was when I bought it… Pentium! Two megs of video memory! Sixteen megs of RAM!
– How can you live with this video card? – replied Shurka to my memoirs, – Shit, it even doesn't receive TV?!
For around five next minutes I was lectured about cutting edge technologies in hardware. Then Maniac sent me to cook breakfast and went on with cleaning my machine.
I was cooking scrambled eggs – maybe 10000th portion of it in my life. It's high time to invent single's anniversaries: 1000th tin of canned stuff, 100000th loaf of bread eaten dry…
– Shurka, I only have two and a half hours! – I shouted from the kitchen, – Then I have to work!
– You'll not be late…
– I also still need to draw the new personality!
– Which one?
– A fairy tale one. An Elf or a Dwarf… No, an Elf is better. The Dwarf will be beaten immediately.
– Since when are you befriended with role-players?
– It's a work., – I said setting the pan by the keyboard, – I need to take a walk in their server.
– Lord, what can you steal there?! They are all beggarly! – Maniac shook his head, – Brrr… Texts of Elvish anthems? The secrets of wooden swords' manufacturing?
– No, I… forgot one thingy there.
– Ah… – Maniac nodded. Maybe he thought that 'Warlock' had gnawed the exit into the role-playing server directly. – Just don't hurt them, okay? They are funny folks, I wandered into those places a couple of times…
– You set up security for them?
– Me? For them? Come on, there's plenty of their own specialists! – Shurka waved his hand, – There's lots of cool programmers.
I didn't like this news.
– Well, tell me at least what 'Warlock' looked like in action?
– Well… a blue crater, sparks and mirrors under my feet with reflections of other servers in them.
Maniac raised his head:
– Wasn't there an elevator? – he asked in confusion.
– Come on, what elevator?! Just a hole in the floor…
– It's always like this, you invent something and it turns out like…
– growled Shurka, – Shit. Do you have cognac only?
We poured in a little, touched cups and drank. Shurka's programs were still 'rustling' inside my machine.
– I've tried it yesterday… that rhyme… – said Maniac after the second cup, – That "abyss-abyss" one…
I didn't ask him about results. If Maniac could manage to exit the Deep, this would be what we are drinking for now.
– Lenia, if you ever find out why it happens… – began Shurka.
– I'll tell you immediately.
– Geez, and what a mess was it in one brothel yesterday… – Maniac changed the topic. – Haven't you heard in the Net news?
I even felt confused.
– No…
– Some punks attempted to break the security of "Any Amusements" brothel. There is one with this name… – Maniac half closed his eyes in a sweet and delighted expression.
– They attempted?
– Well, they almost broke it but then their security have just cut off all channels completely. That fight was worth seeing if Zuko doesn't tell the bull.
– Who?
Obviously the expression on my face became too stupid. Shurka gazed at me, then said quietly:
– A-ha… I see.
– You know Zuko? Computer Wiz?
– Don't you tell me you don't know him.
– Only in the Deep, – I don't attempt to lie.
Shurka shook his head.
– You think so? It's Sergey… the one who worked in the bank.
Uh-oh, what a news.
I know Sergey for ages. When I was working in that computer games company, he was working there too, but I felt it absolutely impossible to correlate the ever silent and phlegmatical programmer with the noisy Computer Wiz.
– It's him?!
– Yup.
– Gosh, what a disguise… – I was only able to say.
– Well, just imagine if he would confess that he works for a brothel! Isn't it a great topic for jokes? He still keeps everybody believing that he botches proggys for that bank…