Lacy (The Doves of Primrose) (13 page)

He couldn’t find one incident that would have brought Lacy’s back up. Slowly he drifted into sleep. On the verge of plunging into oblivion his eyes snapped open. Dancing across his mind was the vision of Eric laughing and jabbing Sam with his elbow while talking to a couple of girls, he couldn’t quite remember their names. They stopped
their antics and turned nervous when Kyle approached.

He recalled the question that had nagged him for months after he left for college. It had seemed to slip out and Sam had turned
red after he said it then instantly changed the subject. The moment was awkward, nobody was making eye contact but Kyle had just thought maybe the guys were trying to impress the girls and he had interrupted.

“Girl problems?”

Those two words had a hidden meaning. An agenda. Kyle just hadn’t known it at the time. His friends didn’t know he and Lacy were seeing each other, the two of them had been so careful to hide it. They had met at night or in out-of-the-way places, they had never gone on an actual date, but they were the best times of his life. She had listened to him when he confided in her. It seemed like they were the only people on the planet and with the help of seclusion they were. Lacy knew his deepest secrets and thoughts and eventually he knew hers. She was a tough safe to crack but once he did the payoff was unbelievable.

“Girl problem
s?”

He was going to find out just exactly what that meant.

A sliver of sunlight beaming in his eye woke him a moment before the rooster. He had forgotten how nice it was to wake up early and get the day started. He had the urge to go out to the barn and milk the cow like the old days at home.

Kyle dressed and hurried downstairs
, anxious for the day, and the butterflies in his gut told him why. However, when he made it to the dining room she wasn’t there. They hadn’t ended the night on a good note but he could fix that. Spending more time with her would guarantee that. He opened the kitchen door.

“Hi, Scarlett.
You’re sure here early.”

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and he knew she was on to him. She played along anyway. Cracking eggs into a bowl and glancing back
at him she spoke with a half-smile, “Yeah, with all of you here Lacy needs the extra help and you know I’ve really enjoyed it. Emmylou is the baker, but I like the cooking. It gives me a chance to use the things I grow in my greenhouse.”

“I bet having this group has really given you that chance. By the way, I wanted to tell you how much I liked the tea you made
yesterday. It really was just what I needed.”
Now if you have some kind of love potion you could whip up I’d sure appreciate that, too.

The
gleam in Scarlett’s eye told him she knew what he was thinking.

“Well, I experiment with things. Sometimes they work, som
etimes they don’t.”

He nodded and smiled. “So are you here all by yourself?” He wanted to smack himself in the head. Scarlett could barely co
ntain her laughter.

“For now.”
She sprinkled something into the egg batter then wiped her hand on her apron. “Lacy will be in shortly. I’m sure sleeping in the barn makes it hard to get any real rest.” Her blue-green eyes shot straight to his soul. All that dark hair made them stand out even more. She was a beautiful woman, inside and out, and also very protective of her friend.

“I’m sure it does. Well, I’ll let you get back to it. You don’t need me distracting you. I’ll see you on the set?”

“I’ll be there.” Her hair was concealing most of her face but he was pretty sure she understood what he was doing next. “Kyle?” Holding the door open he turned back. “Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes.”

“Thanks.” He wished she wouldn’t look at him like that. It was disturbing to know that she wasn’t fooled by him.

He took the roundabout way to the barn just in case Scarlett was looking from the kitchen window to see if she was right. He snuck in the door, patted the beautiful bay that poked her head over the stall to see who was interrupting her sleep and continued on to the back. He listened at the door first. Satisfied that she wasn’t awake, he entered the room. He smiled and paused, completely taken with how beautiful she was in the morning light. Her tousled hair and arm draped over the pillow above her head. She was still wearing her clothes from last night. He crept towards the cot and stretched out next to her on the sliver available for his large frame.

Leaning over her he kissed her soft cheek, brushed the hair
back and whispered in her ear, “Good morning, sweetheart.”

She stirred, moaning from a rough night’s sleep and peeked one eye open. As soon as she recognized who was in bed with her, she tried to push him away and roll over. “How did you get in here?”
she shrieked.

“You didn’t lock your door.” He nuzzled behind her ear. She bucked deliciously against him.

“Hmm, I’ll be addressing that.” She took a deep morning breath of wakefulness. “Get out. Wait, did you bring coffee with you?”

“No.” He grinned down at her.

“Then get out.”

“No, I haven’t ever experienced waking up in the morning with you. You’re surly. I like it.” He raised his hand to her cheek but she shoved it away. He had to clamp onto her waist to keep her in the cot.

“I would think you were used to waking up with several different women in your bed.”

“Oh, come on
, Lacy. I told you that was nothing. I don’t want Emmylou. I want you.”

“Right now.
And that’s a pretty shitty thing to say. Em is great.”

“I didn’t say she wasn’t, but she’s not you.”

She looked at him for a split second and he thought she might cave. “Tell me again why you’re here and how I can get you to leave.”

She was so delectable he wanted to peel every piece of clot
hing from her. He wasn’t sure he could keep from doing it. He chanced loosening his grip and just keeping his hand at her hip. “We didn’t get to talk last night because you were too busy jumping to conclusions.”

“Whatever. I wasn’t jumping to anything. She’s my best friend I think I know a thing or two about her love life.”

“Then why am I here with you instead of with her?”

Her pretty pink lips pursed. “Because I live here and Emmylou is at her bakery furiously getting everything ready for the day.”

“Wrong.” He felt her breath stop before it continued unsteadily. “As you made me yell after you last night, I don’t want this to be like last time. We’re different people, we’ve grown up.” He had to pause and look up to keep a straight face.

“At least one of us has,” she countered.

He lowered his head slowly, directing his steady gaze right into hers, their faces inches apart. “I would agree with that.” He hitched an eyebrow when she opened her mouth to protest. “I don’t want to argue with you. I would rather be doing something much more enjoyable but I can tell that isn’t an offer you’re willing to take me up on at this moment.” He turned his head and lowered another inch, toying with her, testing her. She half-closed her eyes and sighed against his mouth. It took all he had to pull back. “I would like you to give me time. That’s all I’m asking for. Time without comparing everything to the past. And I’ll do the same.”

She pushed her head back into the pillow, eyeing him susp
iciously. “I’ll think about it.”

His heart dropped. “That’s all I can hope for.”

Several seconds passed while they lay motionless, looking into each other’s eyes.

“Get off me. I need to go and help Scarlett.”
She shoved at his chest and swung off the cot. He let her go, wishing she would return. Instead she walked to the door and held it open for him.

He stood and moved to her. “Tomorrow is Sunday and we have it off. We won’t film. I’d like to spend the day with you.” He ran his hand over her hair, tucking it behind one ear.

“Sunday is when all the locals come for dinner after church and Marcus said he didn’t mind if I kept the dining room open to the public on Sundays. Your parents will be there. I’m sure they would like to see you.”

That popped his balloon. “I doubt it.”

Lacy’s forehead creased. “They talk about you all the time, Kyle. They miss you.”

He kissed her forehead. “Think about it.”

Chapter 12

Lacy was still tucking her shirt in when she entered the kitc
hen door. She came face to face with Scarlett who was pulling out some biscuits from the oven.

“Hi.”

Lacy hoped her face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Hi. What can I start on?”

“Gravy.”

What was it about Scarlett that made Lacy feel like she knew every secret Lacy ever had? Maybe it was because she was so quiet.

She got the skillet out to fry up the bacon. “Is anyone even g
oing to eat this?”

“You’d be surprised. I think the country is having an effect on them.”

“You can say that again,” Lacy mumbled under her breath.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Lacy appreciated the opening but what she wanted to discuss probably wasn’t what Scarlett wanted to talk about. But Lacy waited a second too long.

“I saw Kyle coming out of the barn.” Scarlett kept working as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb in the kitchen.

“We didn’t sleep together.”

“I know.” Scarlett smiled and looked up from slicing the ca
ntaloupe.

“Oh, so you don’t think I’m a cheap
floosy?” Lacy asked as she stirred the sizzling bacon.

“He was in here earlier looking for you.”

That wasn’t exactly answering the question.

“Lace, can I ask you something?” Scarlett put the knife down and rested her hands on the counter.

“Sure, honey, you can ask me anything.”

Scarlett chewed on her lip. Lacy’s stomach clenched.

“What happened between you and Kyle? You know, before.”

“Anything except that.”
Lacy turned her back on her friend to face the stove.

“I don’t mean to pry. I’m trying to understand. He’s so nice and thoughtful. And let’s face
it, he’s the hottest guy you and I have
ever
seen. I can’t believe that he came from this town. It’s not fair to look like that.”

“I get it,” Lacy interrupted.

“Well, even back in high school I can remember him being the nice guy. So it makes me wonder what happened between the two of you. You never talked about it, at least not to me. The subject was always off limits and then you married Brice and I never brought it up again.”

Lacy closed her eyes and sighed against the squeezing of her heart. “Scar, I never talked about it to anyone. Actually, with what went down I’m surprised you didn’t hear the details from someone else.” Lacy felt like her insides were literally being torn apart. She had kept it in for so many years it had become a tumor in her soul. How do you tell your best friend that you were a complete idiot? In comparison, Kyle’s betrayal was more mort
ifying than Brice’s. Kyle gave her more than her injured pride and fruitless years.

“Who would I have heard it from?” Scarlett’s pained voice cut Lacy deep.

“One of Kyle’s friends.” She scoffed at her stupidity. “Or Kyle. It was all a sham, Scarlett. Every bit of it. I thought-” Lacy bowed her head, trying to speak the words. “I thought we were in love, but he-”

Scarlett was by her side
, wrapping her arms around Lacy’s shoulders, holding her close and leaning her head against Lacy’s. The lancing of festering old wounds was supposed to be cathartic, but the roots of youthful escapades dug too deep. And she had been stupid enough to think about letting him back in. He had crawled in her bed this morning, his sweet earnest words capsulated her heart and she had considered it.

“Sweetheart
,” Scarlett spoke into her hair and the warmth cracked the ice wall. “What did he do?” Lacy was Scarlett’s injured child. She would do anything to absorb the hurt into herself, to take away the offense and make the world right again.

“It wasn’t so much what he did but what he allowed to happen to me.” The words
were pulled from the memory Lacy had tucked into the dark recesses of her mind but never really forgot. “We were at the pond. The sun was low on the horizon. I remember how it shimmered on the water. The air was so still, but for August that’s not unusual.” Scarlett nodded against Lacy and held her tighter. “You would think I would’ve heard the car doors slam or maybe they just walked in from the road. Well, Kyle and I had just talked about our-” she paused, trying to think of how to describe it, “situation. I think what I said upset him, but he hadn’t said how he felt either so I wasn’t going to be the one to say the words first. I’d never told anyone that I loved them, not even you or Em, and Kyle and I had just been sneaking around all summer. It wasn’t like we were an official couple. But Scarlett, the summer had been so amazing with him. He was sweet, he brought me little gifts, nothing expensive, just little trinkets, mementos, something that I saw in the store that I liked.”

She chanced a look at Scarlett
. She needed her understanding, validation that she wasn’t a complete idiot. She got it in the depths of those sea green eyes twinkling with tears. Lacy sniffed and garnered more strength.

“Kyle said he was going to the truck
to get a blanket. That’s usually what he did right before we…” Lacy clenched her jaw shut. “You know. And we did it by the pond a lot. Oh my God, that sounds awful.” She dropped her head onto the hand not pinned by Scarlett.

“It does not. It sounds special and wonderful.”

If that were true then why did Lacy feel so cheap?

“What happened after that?”

Lacy took a fortifying breath. She really would have preferred to be drunk if she was going to say the next part. “I…” She shuddered as the memory shot to the forefront of her mind. “I got into the water. After I took off my clothes.”

She felt
Scarlett tense but say nothing.

“I had my back to the shore looking out over the water and the
bit of prairie in the distance, watching the sun disappear. I heard footsteps crushing the grass and branches. At the time I should have recognized that there were more than one set, but….” She shrugged and closed her eyes. “When I turned around it wasn’t Kyle that was standing there. It was his friends, Sam and Eric. They were laughing and-” Lacy shook her head, trying to dispel their sneering faces. Scarlett placed her hand on Lacy’s head, her tears blended with Lacy’s. A pact of sorrow.

The quivering and clogged voice that came from Lacy made Scarlett try to press closer. “They got in the water. I thought I was safe until then. I thought Kyle would be coming any second. I tried to swim away when they got closer but one of them grabbed my ankle.” She sniffed, trying to avoid what came next. “They kept taunting me, and touching me. Telling me how Kyle offered to share me. Their hands were all over me. They kept sa
ying things like ‘we know you like it’ and talking about my mother being a tramp, that I was just like her. ” A ragged breath pressed into her lungs and she couldn’t stop the shiver of disgust. “I didn’t want to scream, didn’t want to give them the satisfaction, you know?” Scarlett’s head grazed hers in a nod.

“I fought them off and ran out of the water. They didn’t follow me. But I was naked and it was so humiliating.” Every word sliced, every moment replayed. She felt their hands, heard their words, hot and coarse on her wet skin. “I kept thinking Kyle was coming. He would rescue me.” She shook her head hard.
“The things that they said to me about Kyle, the stuff that we had done. They knew. I was so horrified and revolted.”

She wiped her nose on her wrist. “I grabbed my stuff and sprinted home
, never looking back. I’m sure I was a sight with my butt cheeks flapping in the wind.” Now that it was out she was numb and the river of tears that were free flowing a moment ago had stemmed. The ugly words they used against her still echoed in her head, but somehow they didn’t have the same effect on her. She had purged the incident. It didn’t hold the same power.

The chuckle that escaped Scarlett’s throat wasn’t cheerful. “Oh Lacy, that’s why you’re my best friend.” She sighed and swayed the two of them. “Butt cheeks. Only you would think of that in the midst of an assault.”

Lacy laughed a little and wiped her face with her fingers. “Well, I’m sure I looked ridiculous.”

“You were scared. Who cares what you looked like?”

“I do. I didn’t want to give those bastards that kind of gratification.”

Lacy
recalled how she avoided contact with everyone except Scarlett and Emmylou and they had to come to the B&B. Kyle never called her, the coward. And now he was here begging her to forget about the past and damn if she didn’t almost do it. He was good.

Slowly the
women separated.

“I better get these out to the table.” Scarlett picked
up the dish of lukewarm eggs. “I think I’ll nuke them for a minute first.” She placed the bowl in the microwave and turned with that thoughtful, Scarlett’s-going-to-impart-wisdom look. “I didn’t know Kyle that well back then, but Lace, I don’t think he’s that kind of guy. Are you sure Kyle knew what his friends were doing?”

“I’m sure.” Lacy turned and caught her reflection in the shiny top of the stove. The gravy was
ruined, she would have to start over. As she rinsed the pan in the sink, she stared into the water spray feeling like a troll.
She had just lied to her best friend, again.

Just then the door swung open.
“Is there anything for breakfast?” a voice asked, startling the women.

“Sorry Lauren, we had a little mishap with the gravy. It’ll be just a second
,” Lacy spoke over her shoulder while swirling the water in the pan. Lauren sounded much more like herself this morning. Lacy had wondered if she would even see her after her outburst last night. Lacy thought she may hide in her room in favor of trudging through hell again.

“Gravy?”
Yes, persnickety Lauren had returned in full force.

“Beli
eve me, Lauren, it’s fat free.”

Lacy pressed her lips together to keep from laughing at Sca
rlett’s honey-coated lie and took the clean pan to the stove.

“Well, I was looking for some fruit, not that what you have here can be constituted as fruit. But I guess it’s better than not
hing.”

“Why
, yes we do, Lauren. Here ya go. Now, I know that this isn’t the high grade produce that you’re used to but I did grow this in my own garden.” Scarlett handed the bowl of sliced cantaloupe and ripe strawberries the size of a baby’s fist to a dismayed Lauren. The fruit was probably fresher than anything the frosty old automaton had ever tasted.

“Thank you,” Lauren sputtered out
. Poor Lauren had been bested. Lacy had the urge to high-five Scarlett and her crafty sweetness.

“Thank
you
for understanding.” Scarlett patted Lauren’s arm then subtly pointed to the door. She did as she was told with a bewildered haze.

“Man, that woman bugs me,” Scarlett confided. “She just has a look about her. I don’t like it.”

“It’s all that silicone she’s had injected into her face. She doesn’t have a look.”

“You know, yesterday I found her in Kyle’s trailer. I was looking for you, but when I went up the stairs she turned faster than a newly elected politician. I swear she was hiding something behind her back. Do you think she could be a thief?”

“No, I think she just has a stick up her butt and she hates being here and all of us.” Lacy stirred the new batch of gravy. “Speaking of thieves…” Lacy waited a beat before finishing. “I didn’t want to say anything but I was doing some paperwork in the office last night and it was late when I got done.” Lacy felt Scarlett’s eyes on her back. “I might have seen a stolen something when you were leaving.”

**********

Kyle wished his parents talked to him as much as they seemed to talk about him. Of course what they said to Lacy were probably half-truths and embellishments. He had never lived up to their expectations, not like Adam. And in the end even Adam had disappointed them. The night of Adam’s accident flashed across his mind, stopping him under the shade of the trees. The bark cut into the flesh of his arm as he leaned against it for support.

That was the worst night of his life.
The yelling, the hurt. On both sides. Their parents couldn’t understand why Adam was throwing his life away. They had railed at him for a solid hour calling him every name in the Bible, every nasty term for his sin, his “condition” as they referred to it later. Kyle had listened from his room in a haze of tears and anger and confusion.

Those same feelings were zinging through him now. He had been in town for three days and he was already a ball of sick anger. For three years he had tried to be the model son that his pa
rents had pursued in Adam and settled for in Kyle. It never worked. It was never enough, never right. Later, during his years of therapy, he had begun to understand his parents’ motives and desires. He realized that their pain of losing a son was channeled into Kyle’s accomplishments, realized and otherwise. Kyle grew up in the Ring of Fire: volcanic explosions, earthquakes, deep trenches and constant uncertainty.