“Because you don’t think she can keep me safe,” the lad said with wisdom far beyond his years.
“Aye, that’s a lad. Ye will be safe here, though. But mind Lady Bess, right then?” As far as the earl was concerned, Bess was right when she had suggested that Mary was not a good judge of character if she didn’t see Holland for the villain that he must be.
He made his way to his room and stood as he looked around. A few hours ago, he had wanted to strip the lass of her clothes, but he had remained a gentleman, unable to do what his entire body was begging him to do.
He wanted to lay her down and look at her naked. He wanted to touch her pert nipples and suckle there before he made a trail of kisses down her midriff to her belly, and further. He wanted to spread her legs and tease her sweet honey nest with his tongue.
Och, yes, ye want what ye want, but this time, John of Dunkirk, yer wanting is taking ye to a storm ye canna handle. Ye canna have this one. She deserves better than ye. She is a bonny lass, aye, as bonny a lass as ever there was one, but yer intentions are not respectable, and she deserves more, so much more.
Control. He was practiced in the art of control. He didn’t allow the manhood between his thighs to lead him. No, he did not, but he knew that wasn’t stopping him right then. Right then, he couldn’t even think of really touching her while she was in pain. Would he be able to continue to stop himself from taking her to his bed when she was feeling more the thing? That was the question at hand.
Or was the question
did he want to stop himself?
~ Seventeen ~
BESS, FEELING BETTER after her rest though still quite sore, was comfortably seated at the card table with Donna, Robby, and Thomas, playing a simple child’s card game, when the butler announced Mary Russell.
Shock made them stare at one another for a moment. The earl had told his staff to await Lady Bess’s instructions before allowing any visitors to intrude on his guests, so they were safe for the moment, as the earl’s butler would no doubt hold Mary Russell at bay.
They regarded one another, and Bess could feel the tension escalate as Robby stood up and growled, “If that toad is with her, I think I shall have a round with him.”
“Hush, Robby,” Donna said, giving him a meaningful eye towards Thomas.
Thomas felt the tension in the air and looked around, visibly distraught, as he asked, “What are we going to do? Lady Bess, I won’t go with her.”
“You won’t have to, Tom, because you are upstairs, too ill to receive visitors. No one shall bother you while you are here at Searington with us. Understood?”
He nodded, his eyes wide and his face solemn.
She turned to Gideon, the Searington butler, and said, “If you will show Mrs. Russell into the parlor, we will be there in a moment, and thank you, Gideon.”
The butler, an elderly man, inclined his head and closed the door at his back as Bess took Donna’s hand and said, “Well, then, I suppose, we must do this
thing.
Are you ready?”
A moment later Donna and Bess entered the cozy parlor to find Mary Russell pacing by the window. Something about her seemed off to Bess, but she put on a smile and went forward, saying, “Please, Mary, do take a seat, and I shall call for refreshments.”
“Refreshments? How can I when my poor cousin lies ill in your host’s home?” Mary said on a troubled frown.
“Well, as to that, one must eat, and, faith, Thomas will make a recovery,” Bess returned.
“I, for one, wouldn’t mind if we enjoyed some tea,” Donna said, apparently trying to appear at ease.
“Take me to my cousin at once,” Mary said in a tone that was slightly edged with irritation.
“Oh, did you not read the note I sent round to you? Aside from the fact that he is infectious, he cannot be disturbed. He is sleeping now, after a very bad night of nightmares and fever. The best thing you can do for your cousin is to leave him to rest.”
“He can do so in
my home
, where he belongs, where his father meant him to be,” Mary snapped.
Bess was surprised by the woman’s attitude. “That does not,” she said, squaring her shoulders, “sound very considerate to me. Thomas is resting, and we will not allow him to be disturbed. And as to his father sending him to you, here is a problem, as, you see, he did not reach you, did he?” Lady Bess watched the woman’s eyes. “No, he did not. I think that changes matters.”
Mary stiffened, and her face was a mask of fury. “You are impertinent. I am his family. You are a stranger. This is unacceptable. I shall return for him in the morning, and be certain I shan’t leave without him.”
“Really? We shall have to see about that,” said Lady Bess, her chin up. “And as to being family, as such, I would have thought you would have done more to find him.”
“Humph!” Mary turned on her low-heeled shoes and stomped off, obviously very annoyed.
Donna shrugged. “She doesn’t seem her usual sweet self, does she?”
“Hmm, I suppose she is frustrated, and as she said, we are not family. But, Donna, I had the oddest feeling when I was speaking to her … and can’t quite put my finger on it. We of course are not looking for gratitude. We are not looking for thanks or wanting to sit down and having to relate how we found Thomas and under what conditions. Yet I find it odd that she did not express some thanks for his safe return and some curiosity as to who had him and where.”
Donna gasped. “You are right. Oh dear, this grows darker, doesn’t it, Bess?”
“It does, for my suspicions grow darker,” Bess answered.
“Mine as well.” Donna nodded. “What is to do? We can only keep him away from her so long, and we can’t accuse Holland without some kind of evidence.”
“I know. I am hoping when the earl returns … well, perhaps he will know what next is to be done.”
“You know, when your father comes back here, he means to take you off to London,” Donna said with a question in her voice.
“I know,” Bess said softly.
“Well, Robby says we shall join you, as he says we should open our town house and enjoy the season for a time.”
Bess reached over and squeezed her friend’s hand. “Oh, thank you, Donna. I know Robby would rather travel to hell and back than spend a month in London. This is your doing, and I am ever so grateful, for I would be bored to tears without you in London.”
“But, Bess, don’t you want to go to the routs and balls and meet someone suitable?”
“No,” Bess said and sighed heavily.
“Because …?”
“Because I have met someone suitable.”
Donna was moved to take her friend’s shoulder in both her hands and shake her. “Bess, Bess … I don’t know about this.”
“Why, because you don’t think he cares for me?” Bess asked, feeling sick, because a chance existed that she had been fooling herself into thinking he did care for her.
“No, I think he does care—more than he wants to, and there is the crux of the problem
. He doesn’t want to care
. A lesser man would have thrown his single life to the winds by now and fallen a slave at your feet, Bess. I have witnessed the way he looks at you, and there is no doubt that he feels a great deal more than he means to admit to even himself. He won’t come up to scratch, Bess, and then what?”
“Shall I tell you, my dear, dear heart, that I think he will,
for if
I tell you that, you will say I am not thinking clearly. Instead, I will say that I mean to do what I have to do and the future is the future. I can handle the outcome.”
“I don’t like the sound of this,” Donna said, eyeing her.
Bess laughed. “Come on—I have no doubt that by now Robby and Thomas are looking for something to eat!”
* * *
Restless, Bess pushed away her dinner plate and played with the pretty pearl ring her mother had given her when she had turned sixteen.
Earlier, in the late afternoon, when high tea came and went and the earl had not returned, she had begun to pace. This did not satisfy her, so she took a long walk alone to sort out her thoughts. When she returned to the house and discovered he had not yet returned, she was aware that both her lips and her shoulders drooped.
She told herself it was because she was so anxious to know the outcome of the earl’s travels, but she felt the weight of the truth.
She had become far too attached to the Earl of Dunkirk and was fairly certain she would never feel this way again. This was not the discomfort of infatuation. Infatuation, she knew, would fade for a woman when she began to see the object of her affection lose his glow and become human. She, however, saw the earl with all his foibles. She saw his dark side as well as his good side and had weighed each in her mind. She knew she could not change him, did not in fact, wish to change him. She wanted him just the way he was.
She was also aware that the earl, for her, always stood out like a glorious god, capable of deep, undivided love.
Could he love her? Had he begun to love her?
He saw her as an innocent. He saw himself as jaded. She had to do something to change that vision he had.
She had to place herself in a position that would make him confront what he felt—and her instincts told her he did feel for her.
She sensed that he believed he had been too much a libertine to offer for an innocent. So, she had made up her mind and conceived a plan. What if she were not an innocent? What if she were as naughty as he? As saucy as he? What then?
Dinner had been served late, as she had told Anna they wanted to wait for the earl, but when eight o’clock came and went she finally gave in to Robby’s whining, and they sat to a quiet meal.
Maddy had taken Thomas up soon after he finished his dessert, while she had still been playing with her food, unable to swallow very much.
Robby eyed her and asked, “Not going to eat that?”
“No, not really hungry,” she said on a half smile.
He reached for it, and his wife slapped his hand. He turned to her and exclaimed, “No sense it going to waste.”
“Robby!” Bess laughed and shook her head. “
Where
do you put it all?”
He sat up straight and grinned. “Muscle.”
His wife roared with laughter and then sat back to look at Bess, who sat across from her. She said soothingly, “When the earl left, Bess, I did have the impression he thought it might take all day.”
“Yes, but it is quite late,” Bess said on a frown.
Donna said nothing to this, and Bess sighed and got to her feet to do a tour around the room while Robby gobbled up the contents of her dinner dish.
“You will choke if you eat so fast,” his wife said to him.
He simply grinned and continued to stuff himself. The women exchanged glances as Donna rolled her eyes and laughed.
Robby was done soon after this, and Bess followed them to the library, where a fire was waiting for them. Robby poured the ladies some sherry and a glass of brandy for himself.
Anxious, Bess downed her glass and handed it to Robby to refill. He raised a brow but did just that, and once again Bess downed it.
They sat in comfortable silence for a time, and then Bess got to her feet and refilled her glass. Robby barked a laugh. “You’ll end foxed, m’dear.”
“Oh, let her—it is just what she needs,” said Donna, who stretched out her hand with her own glass and said, “Another, Bess, for me as well.”
“Well, if you are serving, then I shall have another brandy.” Robby grinned widely.
Bess laughed, and then once again they fell silent.
With no sign of the earl, the next hour ticked by slowly. Bess sighed heavily, got to her feet once more, and said, “Well, then, I’m for bed.” She poured herself a larger glass of sherry and inclined her head before she started off.
“Wait—we’re going up as well,” Donna said.
At the top of the stairs, they bid her a ‘sleep tight’ and went off to their own guestroom suite. Bess turned down the hall and went into her room. A chill caught her as she undressed, and she shivered as she climbed naked into the bed and pulled the covers over her head.
She’d lain there for an hour, unable to sleep, when she heard a man’s footsteps outside her door.
The earl
. Breathless, she waited, but though she heard the sound of the latch, as though someone had lightly touched it, no one knocked, and no one entered.
She heard retreating footsteps and for a moment was caught up in a grand state of disappointment. It was then that she made up her mind.
She took up her warm velvet wrapper and donned it as she padded to her bedroom door. She opened it slowly and stuck her head into the hallway. Of course, it was late, and no one was about.
Hurriedly and yet quietly she made her way down the long, wide hallway to the earl’s suite of rooms, where she stood in the dark, undecided.
Should I knock?
Idiot
,
she told herself.
Knock, indeed. You want to go in and climb into his bed and seduce him with passionate love. Does a woman like that knock?
Nooo.
Be that woman
, she told herself. And there she stood, unable to go back to her room, unable to go into his.