Landlocked (Atlas Link Series Book 2) (35 page)

“Nothing.” I wriggled out of her grasp. “I said I’m fine.” Minutes ago I may have begged for help, but not from her and not when General Allen’s threat remained untested.

Mara grabbed me by my bad arm, not about to let me get away. I yelped and pulled it from her fingers.

Her jaw set, eyes hard. “Say you’re fine one more time, Chelsea.” She wasn’t judging me, just trying to get answers. Answers I couldn’t give without risking her life.

I stared her down. Something gnawed its way out of my stomach and back up into my throat. My vision blurred and I cursed all the gods out there for that betrayal.

Keep it together, Danning
.

Mara’s jaw ground left then right. “Who did this to you?”

“Let go of me.” I tried to rip out of her grip, panic flooding my system, but she held firm.

Her eyes lit on fire with protectiveness and an anger she couldn’t possibly know where to place. “Was it Josh?”

My eyes shot to hers. A laugh crept into my throat. Nervousness swallowed it back down.

Her nails dug into the fabric of my shirt, almost slicing straight through to my skin. “Tell. Me.”

Why was she so insistent? “If I tell you, it won’t end well.” But it didn’t seem like enough to convince her and the way my vision swayed convinced me to speak more. “He’ll kill you, or someone else I care about. My hurt arm is worth hiding what happened.”

The world spun like a Tilt-A-Whirl carnival ride. I touched a hand to my forehead to try steadying it. Mara couldn’t find out. She couldn’t put her life on the line for a stupid broken arm. It wasn’t the worst I’d had, it wasn’t.

A phantom pain starburst through my lower abdomen.

Her eyebrows rose, but she didn’t yield. “You didn’t answer my question, threat of death notwithstanding.”

I staggered to the back of the couch. I leaned over it and sucked in a deep breath with my mouth wide open. Why was it so hot in here?

Mara moved beside me, her footsteps careful. Slow. “Chelsea?” She placed a hand between my shoulder blades.

I needed help. She wouldn’t yield. “I can’t do this,” I said. There it was. Out in the open. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t play God and juggle lives.

Mara’s voice was low now, treading as lightly as her steps. “What do you mean?”

I turned my head and shouted, “Don’t coddle me!”

Mara bowed a little, trying to make eye contact. “I’m not trying to coddle you, Chelsea. I’m trying to help.”

“I can’t be responsible for another death again,” I whispered.

The pressure of her hand on my back increased. Supporting.
Trying to help
. “Tell me what’s going on. I won’t tell anyone.”

I shook my head, swiped the air in front of me with my hand. “I’m not going to get one of you killed because of me. I swore I’d never let that happen again.”

“Who did you lose?” Mara asked carefully. Cautiously.

Oh no. We were
not
playing this game. “I keep my secrets, you guys keep yours. That was the deal.”

“I got my buddy killed overseas on a mission,” Mara said. “And Josh’s brother.”

Peering up at her with disbelieving eyes, I asked, “How can you be so cavalier about it?”

Mara shrugged. “I told you a secret, now you tell me one.”

“I…” I couldn’t say it. How do you? I didn’t kill Michael. I’d let it happen. My vision slid away from her, down to the black leather finish. “You know about how SeaSat5 was hijacked, right?”

Mara nodded. “Weyland’s told us about it.”

“Exactly how much has he told you?”

“That it went on for a while and ended with a bang.” Another pain shot me through me at the word “bang.”

“A crewmember died during that time,” I said. “The public reports only state the terrorist died. But there was another.”

Mara’s eyes asked the question.
Who?

“An engineer. A friend. I watched him die because I didn’t tell them what they wanted to know.” I couldn’t tell her that secret was Atlantis, or that seconds earlier, he could have easily died for an artifact. “I
let
it happen. He died because I couldn’t choke out two words.”

That’s when the guilt I felt over Michael registered on Mara’s face. Why Weyland would keep it a secret. Why I wouldn’t want to risk a life again. Why I wouldn’t tell her what happened now. “Chelsea…”

“Trevor and I lost someone for good that day, someone who won’t come back even if SeaSatellite5 is found. If I tell you what happened to me, then I’ll lose someone else that I can’t get back.” But it was more than that. Trevor meant so much more than that. “Someone I can’t afford to lose.”

“Who?” she asked.

Something made it simultaneously hard to swallow and way too easy to start crying. The tears fell halfway down my face before I knew what was happening. Some of the pressure from that creature in my throat relieved itself, but I felt myself falling apart.

Mara wrapped her arms around me. “It’s okay.”

“No,” I said, my head shaking from side to side. “It’s not. I think… I think I love Josh. I haven’t told him yet because it’s way too soon, but I think… and if I tell you what happened today and why I’m keepings the things secret that I am, this guy will kill him, or you, or Weyland—I don’t know. You guys are like family and the only people I have left—especially after Juxe.” I felt like I got punched right in the gut as I said it aloud.
Family
.

SeaSat5 welcomed me with open arms, and I let them get taken away by the enemy. I left Phoenix and Lobster behind for scattered shows and an intense TAO mission list. Hadn’t been to TAO in longer. And Trevor…

“Chelsea, please tell me what’s going on so I can help you.”

I pulled back so I could see her face when I said it. “They think I told out SeaSatellite5. They think they know what happened during the hijacking, that there was more than one spy on board SeaSat5 when it happened, and that’s how the terrorists were able to take it for so long. Then SeaSat5 magically disappeared not three weeks later. But they’re wrong. So wrong.”

“Then what did happen?” Her expression was confused. She couldn’t put the answers together because she didn’t have the corner pieces with which to form the framework of the puzzle. Too bad I couldn’t give her anything else to work with.

I swallowed back more tears and shook my head. “I can’t. Not all of it.”

“Then the pertinent stuff.”

My breath came ragged as I dragged enough air into my lungs to regulate my quick breathing. “There were two spies—maybe three—on SeaSat5 that day. One is still imprisoned in SeaSatellite5’s brig. The other two are not. One’s not even really a spy. But he thinks they are. And SeaSat5 isn’t really missing, per say, so all of it doesn’t even matter.” I didn’t want to say it. I couldn’t say it.

“Spit it out,” Mara commanded.

Our eyes met for a few seconds before it came spilling out of me. “We know what happened to SeaSat5. We know kind of where it is. We know that the third mole wasn’t involved.”

“Then why can’t you go get the crew and the station?”

I turned back to the couch. Couldn’t I lie down and pretend this wasn’t happening? “It’s more complicated than that. I wish I could tell you more but I can’t. What you guys do here, it’s great and the security clearance is high.”

“But not high enough?” she guessed.

If only she knew what General Allen had kept from them. About the Lemurians he sent them after and the experiments he conducted on them once they’d been brought in. Where would I begin telling Mara about that?

“All you need to know is that the person threatening me thinks I’m the third mole, the one walking free. But I’m not. I swear I’m not. I was an archaeologist who came on board at the wrong time, under the weirdest circumstances, that’s all. Mara, you’ve got to believe me.”

She placed a hand on my forearm. “I do, Chelsea.”

“I can’t tell the truth about who the spy really was, because he’ll go after who it is, too. Either way I lose.” I shook my head. “I’d rather take the heat for this than let him.”

Mara looked at me, making some sort of deduction. “It’s Trevor, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“The third spy. I mean, why else would you go to these lengths to protect him?” She held up a finger. “What I don’t get is why? He hurt you bad enough that you singled him out on stage in front of five thousand people.”

“Trevor didn’t choose that life,” I whispered. “We met as he tried running away from it. He wasn’t playing for the enemy, they just thought he was.”

“Who’s the enemy now, Chelsea?” she asked, turning back to the original conversation.

Several deep breaths rushed and deserted my lungs. I couldn’t tell her. “He’ll kill you.”

Her eyebrows scrunched as she thought it over. Then her eyes shot to mine and fear finally registered on her face. She moved her chin ever so slightly to the side. “Say it and I’ll protect you from him.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “And you can’t. If he can hurt me, especially me, there’s nothing you can do to stop him.”

“But Chelsea—”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Vomit sloshed in my stomach, up my throat. I couldn’t put her in danger. Or them. Or Trevor. Or anyone, ever again. But my resolve crumbled under the pain eating away at me and from the intensity of her stare, the fierce fire of protection burning beneath. I’d seen the same in Freddy’s eyes when he shielded me from gunfire on the Bridge. Mara reminded me so much of him, it hurt.

I closed my eyes as tears spilled out. “General Allen. But it’s my fault. I—”

Her body grew taut enough to snap, and she knew: there was nothing she could do. “You’re staying at my place tonight.”

I shook my head again. “It’s not what you think. He’s not…” Not what, assaulting me? That’s very much what he did. “He usually drugs me, takes away my powers so I can’t fight back. It makes me dizzy. I think he hopes it’ll make me weak enough to answer his questions. Threats are exchanged. That’s it.” I paused, looking toward the door to make sure no one stood nearby. “But he knows I’m lying, that I’m protecting Trevor. General Allen thinks he knows exactly what happened on SeaSat5 that day, and I can’t risk Trevor getting hurt or taking the fall. I can’t risk what would happen if people think either of us had any hand in SeaSatellite5 and her crew disappearing. I can’t—”

“I get it.” Mara’s expression softened and she loosened her grip on me. “But you’re still staying over my place tonight, all right?”

“But Josh—”

“Will think we’re having a girl’s night and can deal with it,” she insisted. “It’ll be fine.” She slid her phone from her pocket and flashed the metal backing at me. “Do you really want to go to him and Weyland looking like this?”

My reflection from her phone terrified me. My eyes were puffy and red around a growing black eye. Tears still streamed down my face. Most would be repaired by morning, even my arm, once the drugs wore off and my super soldier healing could take over, but tonight I was a mess. “Mara…”

She wrapped her arms around me again, careful of my injured arm, and held me until I stopped crying. I sent Josh a text saying I’d be out with Mara all night.

spent the night throwing together a stupid flash game. It’d never do well and it’d never be updated, but it would serve its purpose well enough. Sometime around 7 a.m., I published Mega Rush 4 to one of those free game websites and stared at the screen. How long would it take Valerie to see it, to consider coming to me? Would she contact me at all? If she was in as much danger as she’d made it seem, probably not. But that I sought her out might be enough to get her to come to me.