Authors: Cathleen Armstrong
Tags: #FIC042040, #FIC027020, #Self-realization—Fiction
“Thanks for coming with me tonight.” Andy glanced over at Jess as they bumped down the dirt road to the highway that led back to Last Chance. “It couldn't have been much fun, though. All we did was talk about the good old days.”
“I'll take the good old days over you-know-what any day.” Jess stretched her legs out in front of her. “At least I know what you're talking about, even if I don't know who you're talking about.”
Andy laughed. “You know, you surprise me. You seem like such a try-anything-once kind of girl, and yet you've dismissed football without ever seeing a game, not even one.”
“I'm not such a try-anything-once girl. I've never bungee-jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and I'm fine with that. I've never jumped out of an airplane with a parachute either, but that one might still be on the table. I haven't decided yet.”
“Seriously?” Andy stared at her so long that Jess cleared her throat and pointed to the road. “You're comparing jumping off a bridge or out of an airplane with sitting in the stands watching a simple high school football game?”
“Well, I'm just telling you that football's not the only thing I've given thought to and decided not to do, that's all.”
“I just want you to watch it, not play it.”
Jess sighed. “Why is this such a big deal to you, anyway?”
“A couple reasons, actually. Number one, like it or not, Last Chance is a football town. And even if whether or not you like the game doesn't make much difference where you're from, it makes a huge difference here. I'm not saying that you'll never be accepted here in Last Chance if you hate football, but it will take a lot longer, and that's just a fact.”
Jess felt her shoulders tighten. In the first place, she didn't think she needed anyone running interference for her in Last Chance. She was getting along very well, thank you very much. And in the second, what concern of his was it anyway? She pursed her lips and stared out the windshield.
“Do you want to know the other reason?” Andy seemed to have noticed the sudden chill in the cab of his truck.
Jess just looked at him before turning her attention back to the road in front of them.
“Okay, here's the other reason why it is such a big deal.”
Did he think she had said she
did
want to hear the other reason?
He took a deep breath. “It's because I'd like to get to know you better, that's all. And I want you to know me. And that means knowing at least a little about football. It's what I've done with my life. I don't know that I could say it's who I am, but it comes as close as anything else.”
He pulled up in front of her house and shut off the engine. Jess took off her seat belt and folded her arms as she leaned back against the door.
“So, how many games would I have to go to in order to know you better?”
“Well, that depends on how quick you are. Can you pick things up pretty fast?”
Jess narrowed her eyes. “I'll see your football and raise you neurobiology and organic chemistry.”
Andy raised an eyebrow. “All right, then. Sounds like you're pretty confident, so here's a suggestion. Homecoming weekend is in three weeks. Go with me. Everyone in town will be there. There's a big bonfire on Friday night, and the game's Saturday afternoon, and it ends with a dance that night. It'll be funâand you'll get to see what it's all about.”
“Just the game, or everything else?”
“I was thinking everything. The bonfire, the game, the works.”
She thought a minute. “And that will fulfill the football requirement?”
“Let's just say it will let you know if you want to know more. That's simple, isn't it?”
Jess finally smiled. “Okay. I have never in my life been to anything remotely involved with homecoming, but this does sound like it could be fun. Especially the bonfire and the dance.”
He shook his head. “I don't know. Maybe you are hopeless.”
“Well, what am I going to learn just sitting there watching? It's still going to look like a bunch of guys running into each other and falling down. It's not like you're going to be sitting with me and explaining everything, you know.”
“You have a point.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel for a moment. “I've got it. Why don't I pick you up for church tomorrow? After church we can go up to San Ramon and grab a burger and then go back to my house to watch the Cowboys-Eagles game. I can explain what's going on and you can ask any questions you might have. Then at the homecoming game, you can have at least an idea of what's happening.”
After a long moment, Jess heaved a sigh. “All right. But just little bites, okay? Don't try to make me an expert with just one game.”
“I couldn't even if I wanted to, but I can help you understand
that it's more than just a bunch of guys bumping into each other and falling down. And who knows? You may even like it.”
“Yeah, right. See you tomorrow.” Jess got out of the truck and gave Andy a halfhearted wave before heading up her walk. When she decided to leave San Francisco and make a life in a tiny New Mexico town, she thought she had considered every possible pro and con to make the most rational choice possible. But clearly some had escaped her.
When Andy stopped his truck in front of Jess's house the next morning, he could see her watching for him at the front window, but he got out anyway and met her halfway up her walk.
“Good morning. These are for you.” He handed her a sprig covered with diminutive purple blossoms.
“They're so sweet.” When Jess held up the spray to get a better look, Andy noticed the roots were still attached. “What are they?”
“I don't know. They were growing in my yard. I thought they were pretty.” Andy's mom had been a great gardener and remnants of her garden still appeared every year, but Andy was beginning to suspect this was a weed.
“Do I have time to take it back in and put it in water?”
“Nah. There are plenty more where that came from. You can get a whole batch when you come over this afternoon, if you want 'em.”
When Andy opened the door for Jess and she climbed up into his truck, he noticed the care with which she placed the sprig of flowers next to her on the seat. He wished he could get it away from her, if only to take the roots off. He felt like a fourth grader trying to impress his best girl with a dandelion.
Almost as soon as they got to church, Andy was surrounded by people who wanted to go over Friday's game play by play. It was
great to see smiling faces for a change, but to tell the truth, for once, he did not really want to stand there and listen to everyone rehash the win. What he wanted to do was find a place and sit next to Jess. But when that began to look like it might be difficult to achieve, she told him not to worry about her, and the next thing he knew, he could see her sitting between Elizabeth and Lainie in the third row on the left. Both women seemed delighted to see her, of course. He'd be delighted too, if he were sitting there with Jess.
Even after the choir started coming in and Lurlene turned around to raise the congregation to their feet for the first hymn, the football cadre that had him surrounded in the back didn't want to give up. By the time Andy finally broke loose, his choices were to clomp down to the front of the church and try to squeeze into an already packed third row, or to find a lonely spot near the back. He chose the back, but he wasn't happy about it.
H
i, Gabe, how're you feeling?” Jess walked into the examination room and smiled as she looked up from the file folder she was reading.
“Fine, I guess.” Gabe sat on the examination table in jeans and a letterman's jacket, his feet dangling off the edge.
“You guess?” She put down the file and scrubbed her hands. “Any problems?”
“Yeah. A few. When can I go back to practice?”
“Well, let's see.” Jess carefully removed the immaculate bandage and examined the sutures on his forehead. “These look great. Someone's been taking real good care of this. You?”
“My mom.”
“I thought as much. Tell her she did a great job. This wound is as clean as any I've ever seen after a week. I'll take these sutures out now, and if you keep taking good care of it, you should be good as new in a few weeks, except for the dashing scar you'll have.”
“So when can I go back to practice?”
“I can't say right now, Gabe. Not tomorrow, that's for sure.” She picked up the scissors and snipped the first of the sutures in Gabe's forehead. “Have you had any headaches?”
“Not since the first day.”
“Blurred vision?”
“Nope.”
“Dizziness?”
“Nope.”
“All really good signs.” She finished snipping the sutures and began gently pulling them from Gabe's skin. He winced. “But you've got to keep taking good care of this cut on your head. You don't want it to open up again. Then we'd be back to square one.”
“
Man
. I gotta get back.” He shifted as if he were about to hop down and bolt.
“Gabe, you will. But it's going to take a little time.” Jess folded her arms and looked closely at the restless young man on the table in front of her. He seemed to worry way too much for a seventeen-year-old kid. “What's the rush?”
Gabe hesitated and seemed to grow even more anxious as he did. Finally, he looked up at her. “I heard this kid on the team, Zach Ellis, and he said Coach was going to get this scout he knows from the University of Arizona to come look at him. I know he's coming to see Ellis, but maybe he'll like what he sees in me too. I know I could never get the same scholarship Ellis could get, but any little bit would help.”
“Well, Coach Ryan told me you were good, and fast, and had a lot of heart, so who knows?” She smiled at him. “When's the scout coming?”
“That's just it. We don't know. So every game I miss is a game where he might have been there. I have to get back now. If I don't get a scholarship, I'm not going to college. It's as simple as that.”
“Can your parents help at all?”
Gabe's laugh was bitter, and he looked away. “Are you kidding? It's all my mom can do to keep us all fed. She can't send anyone to college. That's why I need to go, so I can help the kids when it's their turn.”
“And your dad?” Jess had to ask.
Gabe met her eyes, and the expression she saw there was far beyond his years. “My dad can't help us.”
“Okay. It looks like you're on your own. But you're not the first kid to face that. So, seriously now, how realistic is it that you get a football scholarship to the University of Arizona?”
His head jerked up and Jess held up a hand. “Keep in mind that until yesterday afternoon I didn't know a first down from a referee, and I still don't know much more than that. All I know about your ability is what Coach Ryan told me, and I told you what he said. So, with all that said, how realistic is it?”
He slumped. “Not very, I guess. Pac-12 schools can recruit pretty much anywhere they want.”
“There are other types of scholarships, you know. I heard you mention chemistry and calculus the other night. Those aren't easy classes. How're you doing in them?”
“Okay, I guess. B's, sometimes an A-. Not all that great.”
“And do you have a job?”
Gabe shrugged. “Just on the weekends. I work for Mr. Sheppard on his farm. I don't get a lot of hours in, but I can at least buy my own clothes and stuff.”
“Okay, look.” Jess sat on the little stool and ticked off the list on her fingers. “Your mom depends on you to help with the kids, right?”
He nodded.
“And you have a job, and you have football practice as well as games, and you're taking some really tough classes at school.”
He nodded again.
“Gabe, something's got to give, and I'm afraid it's going to be you. You've got to make some choices. How's this for a scenario? You choose a state university, and with a combination of scholar
ships, loans, and part-time jobs, you put yourself through. You won't be the first one to do it, and if anyone has the drive and discipline to pull it off, it's you. You'll need to get those grades up, though. There's nothing at all wrong with a B, but for top scholarships, you'll need top grades. And the more you get in scholarships, the less you'll need in loans.” It pleased Jess that Gabe looked interested, even animated as she talked. He needed some dreams that didn't depend on a miraculous football scholarship. “What
do
you want to do when you get out of school?”
“I don't know.” He shrugged yet again. “When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a doctor, but that's not going to happen.”
“Why not?”
He just looked at her. “I don't know. It's just one of those things kids want to be, like an astronaut. You don't really do those things when you grow up.”
“Is that so? I just wish you'd told me that about eight years ago. You could have saved me a lot of really hard work.”
Gabe ducked his head and grinned up at her.
“Tell you what.” Jess stood up and Gabe hopped down from the examination table. “Let's find a time when we're both free, and I have a feeling that will be harder for you than for me, and let's get together and come up with a plan. There's no reason why you can't be a doctor, or anything else you want to be.”
The animated look she had seen in his eyes when she talked about his future began to fade almost as soon as she stopped talking, and he just nodded.
“Gabe, listen to me. I'm serious. You can do this. I know you can. You call me and we'll get started, you hear?”
He started to shake her hand but stuffed his own in his front pocket instead. “Okay. I'll call.”
“You do that. Keep taking good care of that forehead, and
remember, no football until I say so.” She walked him to the door. “Oh, by the way, Gabe, when's your mother's day off?”
“I don't know. It varies.”
“Have her give me a call too, would you? There's something I'd like to talk to her about.” She laughed at the worried look he gave her. “No, it's not about you. Not everything's about you, you know.”
Jess stood in the window and watched Gabe get in his battered truck and drive off. No wonder Andy wanted to keep him on the team. He did have more heart and determination than any five people Jess could think of, but even that could only stretch so far. She wasn't kidding when she said something had to give. And she could only hope that he followed his head as well as his heart.
“Hey, Coach, you got a minute?”
Andy looked up to see Gabe Quintana standing in the doorway. “Hey, Gabe. Come on in. Shouldn't you be in class?”
Gabe shrugged and edged into the room. “Nah. It's just homeroom. I got a pass.”
“So, how're you doing?”
“I'm doing all right, I guess. Stitches are all out, anyway.”
“Come here. Let me take a look at that.” Andy tipped his head to get a better angle under the overhead light. “Man, that's some angry-looking scar you've got there. It looks like you tangled with a machete.”
“It's okay. The doctor says it will fade in time, but I'm always going to have a scar.”
Andy grinned. “It'll make you look dangerous.”
“That's what she said, only she said dashing.”
“Well, if the men find you dangerous and the ladies find you
dashing, what more could you ask for? I know you saw the doctor on Monday. Did she say when you could come back?”
“Not for a while yet. Not this week, and maybe not next week either. She's afraid it might open up again.”
“Well, she's the doctor. I guess we have to go by what she says. We don't want you coming back before you're ready.” Andy started to go back to his work, but Gabe didn't move, except to shift his weight and pick at a fingernail. “What's up, Quintana? Is there something I can help you with?”
“Well, Coach, it's, um . . . I'm thinking of quitting the team.”
Andy didn't say anything, but he gestured to the chair in front of his desk, and Gabe sat on the edge. Five minutes ago, if he had been asked who on his team would be most likely to quit before the season was over, Gabe Quintana would have been the last, the very last name he would have come up with. He waited for Gabe to explain himself.
“It's like this, Coach. I love the game, you know I do, and like everybody else in town, I always dreamed of being the next Andy Ryan. But look at me.” He spread his hands and looked down. “I'm five seven and weigh 145 sopping wet. I'm not going any further than running back at Last Chance High. I mean, look what happened last Friday. I couldn't even play and you won 45â21. You don't need me.”
“So why quit halfway through the season during your senior year? There are a half dozen games left and that's it.”
“Yeah, I know, and it's killing me thinking I'm not going to play. But in another seven months or so, I'll graduate, and then what? If I don't get a scholarship of some kind, college is out for me, and I'll get a job at the chile cannery or working for the county. I want more than that.”
“I still don't see what quitting football has to do with getting
a scholarship. You weren't pinning all your hopes on a full-ride football scholarship, were you?”
Gabe sounded embarrassed when he laughed. “No, not since about tenth grade. I have to admit that I daydreamed about the scout that you're bringing over to watch Ellis seeing me play and being bowled over, but reality set in. We both know that's not going to happen.”
Andy sat back in his chair and threw up his hands. “I just don't get what you're talking about, Gabe. Just tell me, and make it as clear as you can.”
“Okay, it's like this.” Gabe leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands between them. “We both know I'm not going to college on a football scholarship, so my only chance is an academic scholarship. But I need to get my grades up, and the way things are right now, I just don't have the time to do that. Something's got to give, and I guess that something is football. Dr. MacLeod is going to help me in the afternoons when I'd ordinarily be at practice.”
“Dr. MacLeod?”
“Yeah, she says I'm taking all the right courses, but I need to try for A's instead of B's. On the days when she's in Last Chance, she's going to let me study in her office and help me out if I need it.”
“Does she know that you're quitting football?”
“Oh, yeah. She didn't exactly suggest it, but when I said that's what I was going to do, she sort of nodded like she thought it was a good thing to do.”
“Well, Gabe, you know what you need to do. I can't say this makes me happy. Quitting the team midseason is just not something I understand. But here's what I'm going to do. Since your doctor said you might not be back for another couple games, I'm going to leave your name on the roster until then. You can come back
anytime during the next two weeks, no questions asked, but after that, well, your resignation is accepted. Fair enough?”
Gabe swallowed hard and nodded.
Andy got to his feet and extended his hand. “All the best to you, Gabe, and I mean that. You're a good man. Wish I had more like you.”
Gabe shook his hand, and for a moment, Andy thought he was going to say something, but he just swallowed again and left. Andy heard his boots going down the hall until the sound was replaced by that of the big front door opening and closing.