Laura Ray (Ray Series) (9 page)

“You’re still not too old to have children.”

Art laughed, “I would have to marry a woman much younger than me. I haven’t met anyone who had the same interests in life that I do at that age.
Children would have been nice but it looks like God had other plans for me.”

Now Laura decided it was her turn. “Okay,” Laura smiled, “What do you do that makes you happy?”

Art dipped his head acknowledging her question with a smile, “I’ve opened my mechanic garage, which has been a lifelong dream of mine. I’ve found and rented a place to start my Kuk Sool Won Karate School. It’s been another dream of mine to teach children discipline and training to defend themselves. I guess since I had no children of my own, I wanted to be a good influence on other’s children. My next goal is to find a home to buy. I’m not in a hurry about that yet.”

They visited for a couple of hours more and Art stood to go. When he got near Danny, he asked Laura, “What
do think about us taking the boys to Bell’s Amusement Park next Saturday?”

Danny piped up and said, “Yeah, Mom. That sounds like fun.”

Laura reached over and put her arm around Danny’s shoulder, “Well, Danny,” she grinned at Art, “if it was open in the winter maybe we could.”

“Oh,” Danny said defeated.

“Oops,” Art laughed, “I was trying.”

“I know,” Art tried again, “I heard that the
Nutcracker
is playing at the Performing Arts Center in Tulsa. What do you think about that?”

“You’re on your own with this one,” Danny declared holding up his hands.
“I’ll find something to do with Aaron.”

Laura opened her mouth to say no, and then she felt guilty about turning him down again. “Okay,” she agreed. “Let me know when you can get tickets and I’ll plan to go.”

She went to her room and sat on her bed. Did I really agree to go on a date with Art? If Danny’s not going, I’m with him all night by myself. She was shaking like she had a chill. What would John think? She looked over at John’s closet. She had removed very little of his clothes, like she thought any time he might walk in and need something. He’s been gone two years.

She resolved that she would donate those clothes to the Salvation Army before Christmas. She was fooling herself that by keeping his clothes that someway she could still feel his protective presence. Like curling up in his big chair felt like he was holding her and making her world right. She couldn’t depend on John anymore for her happiness.

Art kept asking about her happiness. What a strange thing to say? She remembered growing up; all she ever wanted was to have her own home, her own husband and children. John offered all that. Laura sighed. She wouldn’t trade her experiences with John and the children for anything. She had always felt fulfilled until John died. She had her children, of course, but now Nora was gone. Thank God, she still had Danny.

She got up and went to the kitchen and touched the spring bouquet that Art brought. How beautiful and fresh they looked
!  Alive!

Mary called her that night, “Bobby has been coming over a lot to see Aaron. I feel so sorry for that boy. I would love to adopt him. He is so starved for love.”

“Did you get a chance to talk to Coach about his bruises?” Laura asked.

“Yes, he said that he would keep an eye out for him. It’s such a shame that a mother would go off and leave that boy. Especially leave him with a father that would beat him and stay drunk all the time,” Mary commented.

“I called Donald Littlefield about it”, Laura said. “He said that at Bobby’s age if he doesn’t want to admit that his dad beat him, even if we took pictures and documented it, the court wouldn’t do anything about it.”

“Art said that he contacted Alcohol Anonymous about him and they are working to convince Bobby’s dad to let them help him.” Mary stated, “Sometimes, prayer can do things that we can’t.”

“Well, I agree there. I still have hope that with everybody trying to look out for Bobby’s interest something good will come of it,” Laura answered.

“I wish I could bring him home with me and keep him for my own,” Mary insisted.

“I understand where you’re coming from. Nobody wants to see a child hurting. I think the perfect thing to happen for him would be his father get his act together and show the proper love that he should,” Laura said.

Laura and
Lori Mae were called into the office conference room. The boss, Anna her supervisor, and the accountant met them already seated at the table. “We keep hearing complaints about one person getting larger bundles to sew than another. A ticket from each of your bundles go on your sheet every day, so we know which bundles you work and how many, as you know the size is also listed on each bundle’s ticket.

We ran a study for two months to get a broad range of the sizes of each of your bundles.
Both of you are meeting quota so that you complete almost exactly the same amount of bundles every month. Here’s what we found. Laura completed twelve more extra-large bundles than Lori Mae during this period of time and five less smalls than Lori Mae.”

The boss spoke up at this time, “We don’t want to hear any more complaints about who gets which bundle. You are both being treated fairly.”

Laura felt in the clear, she had never complained at any time anyway. She would rather sew a few more extra-large bundles than to have to be embarrassed by them knowing she was the one complaining.

Before the end of the week Laura asked Anna her supervisor if she could assign her
to another job. She wanted to move to another location to get away from the vindictive Lori Mae.

Yes,
Art, she thought, I have done something to make me happy. I’m moving away from Lori Mae.

Saturday morning Laura donned
one of her old blue jean skirts and had to wear a belt to keep it up. She began boxing up John’s clothes for the Salvation Army. She lovingly folded each piece before dropping it in the box, just in case John saw her, she joked.

Art called
, “I managed to buy the tickets for the
Nutcracker
, but they are for next Saturday night. I’m a little disappointed to have to wait, but we’ll have a good time then.”

Laura almost felt ashamed that she was relieved.
Not that I dread the date or anything, but somehow it felts strange. It’s been almost twenty-five years since I went on a date.

Bolstering her courage she said before she could change her mind, “Art, I’ll cook Sunday dinner again, if you want to come over.”

“Absolutely, I’ll be there.”

She asked Danny to help her load the boxes into the trunk. She took them to the Salvation Army building to drop them off,
then went to the grocery store to buy something special for Sunday dinner. She finally decided on a beef roast. It is easy to cook and so good with mashed potatoes and brown gravy.

She had just placed the
roast in her basket when she looked up and of all people. There stood Lori Mae looking at her with her silly grin. “Hi,” Lori Mae says.

Laura held
back her shudder and refused her first impulse to race to the other side of the grocery store. She looked at Lori Mae standing there grinning at her with her stringy hair still hanging in her eyes as if Laura were her best friend. Not feeling quite so accommodating, Laura blurted out, “Oh, you can talk now?”

“Well, you know how it is,” Lori Mae squirmed and giggled, “I don’t have to train you now.”

Laura leaned over and placed her elbow on her basket perplexed at this wiry little woman, “Well, nice to see you, I guess. I’ve got other groceries to buy.” She didn’t care how nice Lori Mae made out to be, she would never be Laura’s friend.

Chapter Ten

She popped the roast into the refrigerator and placed the other items where they belonged. She stepped into the bedroom to put her purse away and hang up her coat.

Laura caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. How dowdy she looked with her belt gathering
through the belt loops of her skirt! What could Art possibly see in her?

What if
, she thought and dropped her jean skirt to the floor. She turned this way and that watching herself. Most of the time she looked in the mirror just long enough to wash her face and comb her hair. Now she really looked.

She knew that she had lost weight after John died. She had lost more weight after the rape.
Couldn’t put a bite in her mouth. Couldn’t get it to go down when she tried. Just couldn’t eat. The revolting feeling came over her again. She shuddered.

She pushed the thoughts away. She expected the weight to come back on so she hadn’t bothered with
buying new clothes.

As she looked in the mirror she saw a shapely figure. She turned sideways and realized that she looked as slim as Nora. She placed her hands at her waist feeling surprised at how small it felt. She hadn’t really thought about herself.

It dawned on her what Art said, she never thought about herself, what she wanted in life. It was always John, then Nora, and now Danny. What do I want? With my income I’m happy to have the bills paid and food to eat—sort of like I’ve always done.

She sat down on the bed as
the memories flooded back. She remembered John being in high school coming toward her in the hall. He had that kind face and blue eyes. His light brown hair curled slightly across the top of his head. As he drew nearer she had to look up to him because he stood already a head taller than she. Her heart hit an extra beat thinking that this handsome boy said that he admired her. She touched her heart to slow its beating, so amazed that he could admire her. She felt giddy all over and her face heightened it color.

We were head over heels in love or hormones or whatever it was.

John wanted to get married as soon as possible after High School graduation. Laura was flattered. Of course, she would marry him. Her mother sadly watched her get married, hating to lose the help at home. Her father happily watched her get married, glad to have one less mouth to feed.

John lived with his mother who had deserted his father when she thought she saw greener grass in another pasture. When she got to the greener grass she thought was waiting, it didn’t work but she didn’t want to go back to farm life again either. She ended up working in a bar in Carthage, Missouri, to support herself and her son and daughter Betty. By chance, that’s where Laura’s family lived just outside of town.

John wanted a wife to go back to Pryor with him to work the farm. His father had contacted him that his health was failing him and the farm was his for the taking. Laura was his pick and she wanted to go.

After she married John and moved to his farm, her every goal was to help him and provide his meals and make a home for him. Laura scrubbed down the old farmhouse and made a home for them. Hand in hand John and Laura worked to build a herd of dairy cattle.

As soon as Betty, John’s sister had graduated from high school, she moved to Pryor also with her new husband, Dan Johnson. She wanted to be near John. He was the most stable family member she had ever known. They eventually bought a farm not too far away.

Along the way Nora was born. Her own baby needed her as much as life itself. A new person who needed her to teach and guide her through all the perplexing things that life would throw at her. A new personality to teach to be good and giving, to learn what principles in life that would make her a good person, the child depended on her. Laura had never felt such overwhelming love. Caring for Nora gave her an intensity of life and love that gave her more purpose than she had thought possible.

A few years later Danny came along. John’s feet barely hit the ground, he was so happy
to have a son. The eight year old Nora peered at her baby brother in his basinet by Laura’s bed with love. Nora pictured Danny as a new play thing more than a competition as she might if she were much younger. She loved him from the first sight and would have become his mother had Laura let her.

O
f course, Danny renewed Laura motherly love. Here was a new life which God had blessed her with to teach and train in every aspect of life. Her life had so much purpose and importance.

John wanted a wife. John wanted the land and farm. John wanted cows. John wanted a dairy. John wanted a new barn.

Now John was gone. The farm was gone. Nora was married and away at school. Danny was almost grown. What did she want? Who knew? Did she need another man to take care of and tell her what she wanted or not wanted? A big question!

Did she need a man to give her life meaning? Did it take a man to make a woman whole? Was it the sex that made a life complete? Was it companionship? Was it the combination of all the parts?

Many women were taking careers these days, like Nora. Should she think about something like that? How could she afford it? And at her age! She had already passed the forty mark.

One thing for sure, she was tired of setting at that machine sewing
. Every day she came home so tired her arms ached from lifting them hundreds of times a day to swing the material over to run through the machine. Her hips hurt from twisting and bouncing on her chair, leaning over to reach her work. In order to be successful enough to meet quota, she had learned, was to set a rhythm with the material and the machine.