Lauren Weisberger 5-Book Collection: The Devil Wears Prada, Revenge Wears Prada, Everyone Worth Know (114 page)

As usual, the class consisted exclusively of women. Adriana had expertly scanned the room upon entering and, after determining herself the most fit and attractive woman in attendance, laid out her mat and saved a space for Leigh. She felt proud that in this room of beautiful women – all in their twenties or early thirties, all but one at or under their ideal body weight, all groomed to within an inch of their lives despite the early Sunday morning and the physical nature of the activity – she was the most beautiful. This realization no longer surprised or delighted her the way it had when she was younger; rather, it gave her a little added confidence bump that helped smooth along the day. The fact that Yani wouldn't sleep with her most likely indicated that the problem was his and not hers, a theory she wanted her friends to confirm at a post-yoga breakfast.

‘It just doesn't make any sense,' Adriana said, placing her mouth delicately around a spoonful of granola. ‘What do you think is wrong with him?'

Leigh sipped her coffee and smiled at the waitress for more. The diner at the corner of Tenth and University wasn't the best brunch place around – the servers were always surly, the eggs were sometimes cold, and the coffee ran the gamut from watery to bitter – but it was close to the studio and both girls could be certain that they would never see anyone they knew. There weren't many places in downtown Manhattan where you could dine sporting yoga pants and sweaty ponytails without raising eyebrows, so they persevered.

‘I don't know. I don't suppose you think he's gay?'

‘Of course not,' Adriana snapped.

‘And there's no chance that he's just not that into you …'

Adriana gave one of her cute mini-snorts. ‘Please.'

‘Well, then it's got to be one of the usuals. Erectile dysfunction, mid-herpes outbreak, freakishly small member. What else could it be?'

Adriana considered these options, but none of them felt quite right. Yani seemed peaceful, accepting, completely self-assured in that strong, silent way. No man had ever
not
responded to her. And it's not that she wasn't trying – it had been years since she'd needed to make an effort like this, and that time the boy's reluctance had been tied to his upcoming wedding – but it sometimes seemed like Yani didn't even
see
her. The more she swung her hair or thrust out her perfect breasts, the less he noticed.

‘What else? Why, isn't it obvious? He's a total bed-wetter and he's terrified of being found out.' Emmy seemed to materialize out of nowhere, and for the briefest moment Adriana was irritated to have the attention shifted away from her.

‘Hey! We didn't know if you'd make it. Here, give me your stuff,' Leigh said, holding out her arms.

‘What, don't you want me to sit next to you? I promise I'll sit really close, maybe rub my shoulder against yours. It'll be fun.'

Leigh sighed.

Adriana patted the seat next to her; she knew Leigh had ‘space issues' and she tried to be understanding, but it was annoying always having to be the one who got crammed inside booths and crowded in banquettes. ‘How does Russell deal with the fact that you can't stand being near anyone?'

‘It's not that I “can't stand being near anyone.” I just like a little buffer zone. What's wrong with a little personal space?' Leigh asked.

‘Yeah, but seriously: Does he get it? Accept it? Or does he hate it?'

Leigh sighed again. ‘He hates it. I feel bad. He comes from a huge, happy family of mouth-kissers! I'm an only child with parents as affectionate as ceramic statues. I'm working on it, but I can't help that all that closeness and touching seriously freaks me out.'

Adriana raised her hand in defeat. ‘Fair enough. As long as you recognize the issue.'

Leigh nodded. ‘Definitely aware. Constantly, neurotically, miserably aware. And working on it, I promise.'

Emmy collapsed onto the bench beside Adriana; the padded vinyl heaved a bit with the extra ninety-five pounds and then settled. ‘How was yoga? Still no love from the Y-man?'

‘Not yet. But he will succumb,' Adriana said.

Leigh nodded. ‘They always do. For you, at least.'

Emmy clapped her hand on the table. ‘Girls, girls! Have we forgotten so soon? Adriana is no longer seeking casual encounters. Of course, she's welcome to become Yani's girlfriend, but according to the rules, she cannot be his one-night stand.'

‘Ah, yes. The rules. Agreed to after one too many cocktails and, at least as of today, not settled yet. I think that still makes Yani fair game.' Adriana made a point to smile cutely, not sexily, focusing on deepening the dimples that appeared when she was acting her most girlish.

Emmy blew her a kiss. ‘Honey, save those dimples for your future boyfriend. They're worthless at this table. And besides, I have news.'

‘Duncan news?' Leigh asked automatically, forgetting for a second that they'd now been broken up for nearly three weeks.

‘No, not Duncan news – although I did run into his sister, who told me that he and the virgin cheerleader are going in on a Hamptons share with three other couples for July and August.'

‘Mmm, sounds great. They can pay twenty grand for a small bedroom and shared bathroom and bumper-to-bumper traffic, all so they can spend the summer
not
having sex. Sounds dreamy. Do I have to bring up summer of '03 again?'

Adriana shuddered. Just the thought of that summer was enough to make her feel on edge. It had been her idea – what could be so bad about a mansion in the Hamptons with a pool, a tennis court, and forty to fifty single, professional twentysomethings? – and she'd campaigned Emmy and Leigh vociferously for weeks until they finally agreed. All three had been so miserable with the 24/7 noise and partying and drinking-till-you-puke theme that they'd spent each weekend of their half-share huddled at the far end of the pool together, clinging to one another for sanity's sake. ‘Please, no! Don't go there. Even all these years later, it's still traumatic.'

‘Yeah, well, Duncan and the trainer can go hang themselves for all I care. I had a long talk with Chef Massey this week and he's still interested in having me do some work abroad. He's planning to open two new restaurants this year alone and needs people on-site to oversee the progress, help with hiring, stuff like that. And of course, menu ideas whenever possible. I start a week from Monday.'

‘Congratulations!' Leigh said.

Adriana squeezed Leigh's hand and tried her hardest to appear pleased. She wasn't unhappy for Emmy – after all, the girl
had
had a shitty go of it lately – but, selfishly speaking, it was hard sometimes hearing about her friends' career successes. She knew they envied her free time and would kill to have the funds and time to enjoy life a little more, but it no longer made her feel good to hear it. And of course it was not like she wanted either of their jobs; that was for sure. Emmy's tirades about egomaniacal chefs and impossible restaurant personalities were scary enough to turn anyone off a career in the food-service industry, and Leigh's hours were insane. She complained constantly of lunatic authors and oppressive reading schedules, and Adriana wondered if she wasn't just a little bit envious of those who actually got to write the books instead of edit them. But if Adriana was going to be completely honest with herself, she knew that both girls found a certain satisfaction in their jobs that she would never know from her daily schedule, however rigorous, of grooming, lunching, exercising, and socializing. It's not that she hadn't
tried
working – she'd given it a fair shot. Right after graduation she'd signed on for the buyer training program at Saks but quit as soon as she realized that she'd have to start with makeup and accessories and it would take years to work her way up to premier designer apparel. There was a brief stint at an advertising agency that she'd almost enjoyed, at least until her boss asked her to go outside
in the snow
to buy him a cup of coffee. She had even worked a few weeks for one of the famous Chelsea galleries, before realizing how naïve she'd been to think she could meet eligible straight men in the art world. Right after that job Adriana realized it just didn't make much sense to work forty hours a week and neglect so many other aspects of her life for a couple thousand dollars here or there. So while she knew from experience that she'd never trade the freedom of her situation for the drudgery of a nine-to-five, of course, there were times when she wished she was good at something besides bedding men. The exception being the current case with Yani.

‘… so I'll be traveling one to two weeks out of every four. And he's going to start looking for a new GM for Willow so I can focus even more on the new restaurants. I'll get to do a bit of everything: scouting, hiring, menu consultation, and then, once they open, stay on for a few weeks to make sure everything runs smoothly. How awesome is that?' Emmy beamed.

Adriana hadn't heard a word. ‘What's going on?' she asked.

Leigh glared at her. ‘Emmy was just saying that Chef Massey's offer is still on the table. And Emmy's going to take it.'

‘The salary isn't quite what I hoped for, but I'll be traveling so much that I'll barely have any living expenses. And – are you ready for this? – my first trip is to Paris. For “training.” How amazing is that?'

Adriana tried not to resent the ebullient look on Emmy's face.
It's just Paris
, she thought to herself.
It's not like everyone hasn't been there a
thousand
times.
It took every ounce of willpower not to roll her eyes when Leigh breathed, ‘
So
amazing.'

Emmy accidentally sipped from Adriana's coffee cup and it was all Adriana could do not to stab her hand with a fork. Why on earth was she so upset? Was she really such a jealous, petty person that she couldn't be happy for her own best friend's success? She forced herself to smile and utter some sort of congratulations in the only way she knew how. ‘Well, you know what that means, don't you,
querida
? Looks like your first affair will be with a Frenchman.'

‘Yes, I've been doing a bit of thinking about that.'

‘Backing out already?' Adriana said coyly. She cradled her coffee cup and pressed her lips to the edge.

Emmy cleared her throat and pretended to smooth her eyebrow with an extended middle finger. ‘Backing out? Hardly. I was going to clarify a few rules, is all.'

‘You're all about rules today, aren't you?' Adriana sniped.

‘Hey, don't take it out on me that you're losing your touch. It's not my fault Yani couldn't be less interested,' Emmy said.

‘Come on, guys.' Leigh sighed. No matter how many years passed or how much responsibility each assumed, they still managed to bicker like bitchy teenagers on a regular basis. In some way, though, each found it comforting; it reminded them how close they really were: Acquaintances were always on their best behavior, but sisters loved each other enough to say anything.

‘Can I help it if I'm eager to get started? As neither of you has been shy about pointing out, I'm way, way behind,' said Emmy.

Adriana reminded herself to play nicely. She clasped her hands together and said, ‘Okay, let's do it. How many men are you thinking of this year?'

Leigh, desperate not to remind the girls that she hadn't agreed to any changes, anxiously chimed in. ‘I think three sounds fair, don't you guys?'

Adriana made a noise as though she were choking on her coffee. ‘Three? Please! That's a good month, not a good year.'

‘For once, I'm going to agree,' Emmy said. ‘With all the traveling I'm going to be doing, I don't think three is realistic.'

‘So, what, are you going to screw a guy in every country you visit?' Leigh laughed. ‘Like, “Here's my passport and here's my hotel key, come on in”?'

‘I was actually thinking more like a guy on every continent.'

‘Shut up!' Leigh and Adriana said in tandem.

‘What? Is that sooo impossible to imagine?'

‘Yes.' Leigh nodded.

‘Ridiculous,' Adriana agreed.

‘Well, I've decided. One man for every continent I visit. Foreign, sexy men. The less American, the better. And no strings attached. No relationships, no emotional entanglements – just pure, unadulterated sex.'

Adriana whistled. ‘
Querida!
You're making me blush!'

‘What about Antarctica?' Leigh asked. ‘I don't think Adi has managed to sleep with a guy from Antarctica.'

‘I thought of that. Antarctica does seem a little unrealistic. Which is why I think Alaska can count for Antarctica.' Emmy pulled a crumpled paper from her messenger bag and smoothed it flat on the table.

‘Is that a chart? Please don't tell me you made a chart.' Adriana laughed.

‘I made a chart.'

Leigh looked toward the ceiling. ‘She made a chart.'

‘I've got it all figured out. Obviously, I already have North America, so that leaves six more. And, technically speaking, Mark – Otis's daddy – was born in Moscow, so he really could count for Europe.'

‘I call bullshit on that,' Leigh said. ‘It has to be within
this
year.' The waitress frowned when she laid down their check.

‘Seconded,' Adriana said. ‘We'll give you America – North only – but Mark is a no-go. Why would you even want him to count for Europe? You're going to Paris in a few weeks!'

Emmy nodded. ‘Fair enough. One down, six to go.'

‘What if you meet a Japanese guy in Greece, or an Australian in Thailand?' Adriana asked, looking perplexed. ‘Do they count as Asia and Australia, or does the sex have to take place
on
the actual continent?'

Emmy's eyebrows furrowed. ‘I don't know. I hadn't thought of that.'