Authors: Lauren Weisberger
She took a deep breath and turned to page eighteen. Whoever claimed that horrible things took a while to process had obviously never faced a double-sided spread of her husband seducing another woman. Brooke's mind took it all in seamlessly. Without the least bit of effort, she saw another version of the first photo, only in this one, Julian appeared to be listening intently as the girl whispered something into his ear. It was time-stamped 11:38
P.M
. The next one, stamped with a neon-red 12:22
P.M
., showed him throwing his head back in laugher; the girl laughed, too, and now she had her palm planted firmly against his chest. Was she playfully pushing him away? Just looking for an excuse to touch him? The third and final picture on the left-hand side of the page was the worst: it showed the girl pressed right up against Julian, sipping what looked like rosé champagne. Julian was still holding his beer bottle in one hand, but his other hand appeared to be up the girl's dress. You could tell from his arm's angle that he wasn't doing anything more X-rated than touching her upper thigh, but there was no denying that both hand and wrist were completely obscured by fabric. Julian was winking at the girl, giving her that mischievous smile Brooke loved so much as she gazed at him adoringly through big brown eyes. It was 1:03
A.M
.
And then the whammy, no doubt
Last Night
's crowning glory. On the right-hand side of the page was a full-bleed photo that may as well have been the size of a billboard. The time read 6:18
A.M
. And it featured the girl, wearing the exact same drab blue dress from a few hours earlier, walking out of a poolside bungalow room. Her hair was disastrously mussed and she looked every bit the part of a morning-after cliché. She clutched her bag to her chest as though protecting herself from the surprise of the flashbulb, and her eyes were wide, shocked, but there was something else there, too. Pride? Accomplishment? Whatever it was, it clearly wasn't shame.
Brooke couldn't keep from examining each photo with the care of a scientist studying a specimen, looking for clues and signs and patterns. It took a few more sickening minutes, but after staring intently at the last photo, Brooke knew what bothered her the most. The girl wasn't a famous actress or supermodel or pop star, at least not as far as Brooke could tell. She looked ordinary. She had limp, slightly too-long reddish-brown hair, a nondescript blue dress, and a figure so unmemorable â so stunningly average â that it almost took Brooke's breath away when she realized: the girl sort of looked like
her.
From the extra five pounds to the inexpertly applied eye makeup to not-quite-right sandals (the heels just a little too clunky for a night out and the leather just slightly too worn), Julian's Chateau fling and Brooke could have been sisters. And, almost most distressing of all, Brooke was fairly certain
she
would be considered the more attractive one.
It was all too weird. If your husband was going to cheat on you with some stranger he met at a Hollywood hotel, couldn't he at least have the self-respect to choose someone hot? Or, at the very least, someone plastic and cheesy? Where were the huge fake boobs and the skintight skinny jeans? The airbrushed spray tan and the five-hundred-dollar highlights?
How'd she even get
into
the Chateau?
Brooke wondered. Maybe a famous musician couldn't always score a Giselle-level model, but couldn't he at least have found someone who looked better than his own
wife
? Brooke tossed the magazine aside in disgust. It was easier to focus on the absurdity of your husband cheating on you with a less attractive version of yourself than it was to acknowledge the actual
cheating
part.
âYou okay?' Her mother's voice surprised her. Mrs. Greene was leaning in the doorway, her face wearing the same pained expression as before.
âYou were right,' Brooke said. âThose would not have been fun to see on the Amtrak train home tomorrow.'
âI'm so sorry, honey. I know it must seem impossible right now, but I think you have to hear Julian out.'
Brooke snorted. âYou mean listen to something like, “Honey, I technically could've come home and spent that night with you but instead I got wasted and hooked up with your less attractive twin sister? Oh, and I just happened to get photographed doing it?”' Brooke could hear the anger in her voice, the dripping sarcasm, and was surprised she didn't feel like crying.
Mrs. Greene sighed and joined her on the bed. âI don't know, sweetheart. He certainly needs to do better than that. But let's be clear on one thing: that tramp is no twin of yours. She's just some pathetic girl who threw herself at your husband. You outshine her in
every
imaginable way.'
The sound of Julian's single, âFor the Lost,' rang out from the other room. Brooke's mother looked at her questioningly.
âIt's my ringtone,' Brooke said, pulling herself up. âI downloaded it a few weeks ago. Now I can spend the night trying to figure out how to make it go away.'
She located her phone in the guest bedroom and saw it was Julian calling. She wanted to screen him but couldn't.
âHey,' she said, assuming the same position on this bed.
âBrooke! My god, I've been panicked. Why weren't you answering my calls? I didn't even know if you made it home or not.'
âI'm not at home, I'm at my mom's.'
She thought she heard a muffled curse and then he said, âYour mom's? I thought you said you were going home?'
âYeah, well, that was my plan until Nola informed me that our apartment was under siege.'
âBrooke?' She heard a horn honking in the background. â
Goddammit,
we almost just got rear-ended. Dude, what's up with that guy behind us?'
Then, to her: âBrooke? Sorry. I almost died there.'
She didn't say anything.
âBrooke â¦'
âYes?'
There was a pause before he said, âPlease hear me out.'
There was another moment of silence. She knew he was waiting for her to say something about the pictures, but she couldn't give him the satisfaction. Which, incidentally, was upsetting in its own way. How sad was it to be playing such juvenile don't-show-your-feelings games with your own husband.
âBrooke, Iâ' He stopped and coughed. âI, uh, I can't even imagine how hard it was to look at those pictures. How absolutely, utterly horrible it must have been â¦'
Her hand gripped the phone so tightly she was afraid she might break it, but she couldn't make herself say anything. All of a sudden, her throat had seized shut and the tears began streaming down her face.
âAnd when all those vile media people asked all those questions last night on the red carpet â¦' He coughed again and Brooke wondered if he was choked up or just getting a cold. âIt was brutal for me, and I can only imagine how hellish it was for you, andâ'
He stopped talking, clearly waiting for her to say something, to save him from himself, but she couldn't formulate a sentence through the silent tears.
They sat there for an entire minute, maybe two, before he said, âBaby, are you crying? Oh, Rook, I'm so, so sorry.'
âI've seen the pictures,' she whispered, and then paused. She knew she had to ask, but a part of her kept thinking it was better not to know.
âBrooke, they look so much worse than the reality.'
âDid you spend the night with that woman?' she asked. Her mouth felt like it was coated in wool.
âIt wasn't like that.'
Silence. The quiet on the phone almost felt alive. She waited and prayed for him to say that it was all a huge misunderstanding, a setup, a media manipulation. Instead, he said nothing.
âWell, okay then,' she heard herself say. âThat pretty much explains it.' Her last two words were choked, muffled.
âNo! Brooke, I ⦠I did not have sex with that girl. I
swear
to you.'
âShe was leaving your room at six in the morning.'
âI'm telling you, Brooke, we did not have sex.' He sounded miserable, his voice pleading.
And then she finally understood. âSo you didn't actually have sex with her, but something else happened, right?'
âBrooke â¦'
âI need to know what happened, Julian.' She wanted to throw up at the horror of having this conversation with her husband, this weirdly horrible version of âwhat base did you get to?'
âThere was the removal of clothes, but after that, we just passed out. Nothing happened, I swear to you, Brooke.'
The removal of clothes.
It was such an odd way to phrase it. So distant. She felt the bile rise in her throat at the mental picture of Julian lying naked in bed with someone else.
âBrooke? Are you still there?'
She knew he was talking, but she couldn't hear what he was saying. She moved the phone away from her ear and looked at the screen; a picture of Julian with his face pressed against Walter's stared back at her.
She sat on the bed for another ten seconds, maybe twenty, looking at Julian's picture and listening to the rise and fall of his voice. She took a deep breath, brought the microphone panel to her lips, and said, âJulian, I'm hanging up. Please don't call me back. I want to be alone.' Before she could lose her nerve, she turned off the phone, pulled the battery out, and stashed them both separately in the night table drawer. There would be no more talking that night.
âAre you sure you don't want us to come in, even for a few minutes?' Michelle asked, eyeing the row of SUVs with tinted windows that lined the block outside Brooke's building entrance.
âI'm positive,' Brooke answered, trying to sound definitive. The two-hour car ride from her mother's place to New York with her brother and Michelle had given her more than enough time to bring them up to date on the Julian situation, and they'd arrived in Manhattan just as they started asking the sorts of questions about Julian that she wasn't prepared to answer.
âWhy don't we just help you get in the front door?' Randy asked. âI've always wanted to punch a paparazzo.'
She gritted her teeth and smiled. âThanks, guys, but I can handle this. They've probably been sitting here since the Grammys and I don't think they're leaving any time soon.'
Randy and Michelle exchanged a skeptical look so Brooke pressed on. âI'm serious, you two. You have another three hours minimum and it's getting late, so you better get going. I'll walk down the block, ignore them when they jump out of the cars, and keep my head high. I won't even say “no comment.”'
Randy and Michelle were on their way to a wedding in the Berkshires and planned to arrive a day or two early for their first trip without the baby. Brooke sneaked another look at Michelle's impressively tight belly and shook her head in wonderment. It was nothing short of a miracle, especially since pregnancy had replaced her formerly trim, compact body with a short, stocky figure with zero delineation between her chest and waist or waist and thighs. Brooke thought it would be years before Michelle would regain her figure, but only four months after Ella's birth she looked better than ever.
âWell, all right â¦' Randy said, raising his eyebrows. He asked Michelle if she wanted to run into Brooke's apartment and use the bathroom.
Brooke slumped. She was dying for a few minutes to herself before Nola arrived and round two of the inquisition began.
âNo, I'm good,' Michelle answered, and Brooke exhaled. âIf traffic's going to be that bad, we should probably get going. You sure you're going to be okay?'
Brooke smiled widely and leaned into the passenger seat to hug Michelle. âI promise. I'm more than fine. Please just focus on sleeping and drinking as much as possible, okay?'
âWe are at risk of sleeping straight through this wedding,' Randy mumbled, leaning out through the driver's window to accept Brooke's kiss.
There was an explosion of flashbulbs close by. The man taking pictures from across the street had obviously spotted them before anyone else, despite Randy parking nearly an entire block from the entrance. He was wearing a navy hoodie and khakis and didn't appear to be making the least bit of effort to disguise his intentions.
âWow, he was all over that, wasn't he? Didn't waste a second,' her brother said, leaning out the window to get a better look at the guy.
âI've actually seen him before. Guaranteed you'll see a pic online in the next four hours of us kissing with some sort of caption like “Jilted Wife Wastes No Time Taking New Lover,”' she said.
âWill they mention I'm your brother?'
âMost definitely not. And the fact that your wife is sitting next to you in the car. There's actually a distinct possibility they'll call it a threesome.'
Randy smiled, a sad one. âSucks, Brooke. I'm sorry. About everything.'
Brooke squeezed his arm. âStop worrying about me. Go enjoy your trip!'
âCall if you need anything, okay?'
âWill do,' she said with more fake cheer than she would have thought possible. âDrive safely!' She stood and waved until they turned the corner, then beelined for the front door. She barely made it ten feet when the other photographers â no doubt tipped off by the earlier flashbulbs â seemed to fly right out of the various SUVs and convene in a loud, flapping group directly outside the door of her building.
âBrooke! Why didn't you go to any after-parties with Julian?'
âBrooke! Did you throw Julian out?'
âDid you know your husband was having an affair?'
âWhy hasn't your husband come home yet?'
Good question,
Brooke thought to herself.
That makes two of us wondering the exact same thing.
They shouted and shoved cameras in her face, but she refused to make eye contact with any of them. Feigning a calmness she didn't feel at all, she first unlocked the outer door, pulled it closed behind her, and then unlocked the door to the lobby. The flashbulbs continued until the elevator closed behind her.